Author Topic: Over 60 help and support.  (Read 50137 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1330 on: November 24, 2020, 02:16:19 pm »
I am so sorry you are struggling so [...].  I really [...] the slower cuts will somehow help.  Will be sending you [...] thoughts and [...].  [...] 🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘🙏🙏😷😷😷
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1331 on: November 26, 2020, 09:24:05 am »
I am so sorry you are struggling so [...].  I really [...] the slower cuts will somehow help.  Will be sending you [...] thoughts and [...].  [...] 🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘🙏🙏😷😷😷
Thanks [...]  :hug:


               Love [...] xxx  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1332 on: November 27, 2020, 12:10:26 am »
Hi [...],
Reading this post gets me thinking. I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It WILL get better, I promise. But to be honest, reading how miserable tapers can be, makes me a bit glad I had to [...] CT. Now before you all answer, I will say I NEVER suggest most people should [...] CT! Its not safe and I am lucky I survived it. But going CT was my only chance at being benzo free back then. I was truly  and totally addicted and had no idea I was. Talk about "benzo brain."

Here is mu suggestion. Perhaps you need to think about this: if you truly do want to get off benzos, you may need to stop holds and updosing. Make your plan, stick to it and stop trying to out fox your brain.  The brain in  bwd is not  healthy one. The way I see it is, the longer you are ON a benzo, the longer it will be until you feel well and benzo free. This might sound harsh to you and truly it isnt. But you are struggling SO much and that is not right.
I learned early on to NOT trust a physician to be able to help me. I also realized I had to forgive my internist who forced me to [...] CT.  My benzo habit was slowly but surely killing me. The last two years I was on K and Ambien and 2 ADS, I was falling. A LOT. As in daily. Holy cow!! Thats how I broke several bones and almost died from complications after a femur fracture. I have found that most people here on BB, after 8 years being here, have to do pretty much the same things. Blaming other people especially doctors seems to be what a lot of people think. Being angry at your doctor is fine for a short time, but in the end, YOU took the pills. She didnt. For much of my first year I did blame my doctor, until my mind became clearer and I drew on knowledge of the 12 Steps. Forgiveness is pretty crucial, and the 12 Steps are a fantastic list of things that will mend your broken heart and mind. We on BB like to see ourselves as NOT being "addicts." But in all truth, most of us WERE ADDICTED, and the result is WITHDRAWAL. It may have only been a physical addicted. But a whole lot of people are both physically and mentally addicted. That is how I thought, and I believe I am right.
[...]laugh too hard, but this old Nurse thought withdrawal would be "maybe 2 weeks long and sort of like having a stomach flu." OH how wrong I was. It became an enormous shock to slowly realize that  I hadnt gone stark raving mad, and that benzo wd is NOT like the flu. Talk about a "wake up call."
People on BB tend to be intelligent, educated, and sensitive, sometimes to a fault. But people here are mostly survivors, and that is the reason we found our way to BB. We come to realize that benzos are NOT the "good drug" we had thought. Think of Mick Jagger singing "Mothers Little Helper." He was referring to Valium.
I began my journey at age 62, back in 2012. I am 70 now, and because I got off both benzos AND ADS, I am now startlingly health for 70. That is how much those drugs hurt me. I was only on ADs for the last q12 years. And why? Because benzos caused my depression! LOL! Once I began [...] more, my old depression just pouf and flew away. Gone like the wind, I guess. Amazing. I am SO glad I got off all of those damn pills. I have found that age does not matter. I have made so many friends, mostly women and almost all of them are older than, say, 55. To my way of thinking, we have an advantage. We have dealt with other major life crises, which gives us more training in how we feel during bwd.

Okay, Miss [...] will stop preaching. Please know I just [...] you stick to it and end up OFF benzos. You can do this.
[...] ([...])
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1333 on: November 27, 2020, 07:00:38 am »
Hi [...],
Reading this post gets me thinking. I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It WILL get better, I promise. But to be honest, reading how miserable tapers can be, makes me a bit glad I had to [...] CT. Now before you all answer, I will say I NEVER suggest most people should [...] CT! Its not safe and I am lucky I survived it. But going CT was my only chance at being benzo free back then. I was truly  and totally addicted and had no idea I was. Talk about "benzo brain."

Here is mu suggestion. Perhaps you need to think about this: if you truly do want to get off benzos, you may need to stop holds and updosing. Make your plan, stick to it and stop trying to out fox your brain.  The brain in  bwd is not  healthy one. The way I see it is, the longer you are ON a benzo, the longer it will be until you feel well and benzo free. This might sound harsh to you and truly it isnt. But you are struggling SO much and that is not right.
I learned early on to NOT trust a physician to be able to help me. I also realized I had to forgive my internist who forced me to [...] CT.  My benzo habit was slowly but surely killing me. The last two years I was on K and Ambien and 2 ADS, I was falling. A LOT. As in daily. Holy cow!! Thats how I broke several bones and almost died from complications after a femur fracture. I have found that most people here on BB, after 8 years being here, have to do pretty much the same things. Blaming other people especially doctors seems to be what a lot of people think. Being angry at your doctor is fine for a short time, but in the end, YOU took the pills. She didnt. For much of my first year I did blame my doctor, until my mind became clearer and I drew on knowledge of the 12 Steps. Forgiveness is pretty crucial, and the 12 Steps are a fantastic list of things that will mend your broken heart and mind. We on BB like to see ourselves as NOT being "addicts." But in all truth, most of us WERE ADDICTED, and the result is WITHDRAWAL. It may have only been a physical addicted. But a whole lot of people are both physically and mentally addicted. That is how I thought, and I believe I am right.
[...]laugh too hard, but this old Nurse thought withdrawal would be "maybe 2 weeks long and sort of like having a stomach flu." OH how wrong I was. It became an enormous shock to slowly realize that  I hadnt gone stark raving mad, and that benzo wd is NOT like the flu. Talk about a "wake up call."
People on BB tend to be intelligent, educated, and sensitive, sometimes to a fault. But people here are mostly survivors, and that is the reason we found our way to BB. We come to realize that benzos are NOT the "good drug" we had thought. Think of Mick Jagger singing "Mothers Little Helper." He was referring to Valium.
I began my journey at age 62, back in 2012. I am 70 now, and because I got off both benzos AND ADS, I am now startlingly health for 70. That is how much those drugs hurt me. I was only on ADs for the last q12 years. And why? Because benzos caused my depression! LOL! Once I began [...] more, my old depression just pouf and flew away. Gone like the wind, I guess. Amazing. I am SO glad I got off all of those damn pills. I have found that age does not matter. I have made so many friends, mostly women and almost all of them are older than, say, 55. To my way of thinking, we have an advantage. We have dealt with other major life crises, which gives us more training in how we feel during bwd.

Okay, Miss [...] will stop preaching. Please know I just [...] you stick to it and end up OFF benzos. You can do this.
[...] ([...])
Hi [...]  :hug: that's exactly what I am doing now, if you read it again you will see I said I'm tapering was at 15mg now at 11.5mg

                      [...] xxx  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1334 on: November 27, 2020, 03:59:25 pm »
[...] thanks for the post on blaming. I did need to read that and [...] I can keep coming back to it as a reminder.
I wasn't blaming the psychiatrist who put me on the drugs, but my husband.
In all honesty, playing the blame game is so counter productive.  I just fall deeper and deeper into this self pity thing like, why me. 
I'm still struggling to heal and thought when I was finally off,  that in a few months benzo free, I would "be all better. " ha
Now I am older, hopefully wiser and still dealing with so many issues.
I [...] from this is going to kill me to hopefully I will get better.
Last [...] it was pretty much a zero [...] of sleep.
I'll put this post to rest and sign off.
NG
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1335 on: November 28, 2020, 02:58:31 am »
[...] thanks for the post on blaming. I did need to read that and [...] I can keep coming back to it as a reminder.
I wasn't blaming the psychiatrist who put me on the drugs, but my husband.
In all honesty, playing the blame game is so counter productive.  I just fall deeper and deeper into this self pity thing like, why me. 
I'm still struggling to heal and thought when I was finally off,  that in a few months benzo free, I would "be all better. " ha
Now I am older, hopefully wiser and still dealing with so many issues.
I [...] from this is going to kill me to hopefully I will get better.
Last [...] it was pretty much a zero [...] of sleep.
I'll put this post to rest and sign off.
NG
Me too NG  :hug: But I'm sure thats probably the most common thing amongst us all on these boards, feeling that way'
                                                   [...] xxx  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1336 on: November 28, 2020, 03:17:53 pm »
Hi [...], thank you for the great response. I forgot about this  link for those over 60.  I was such a "kid" when I turned 60. Time flies.
You are so right about the comment I made. We all feel like this WD will [...] on and on.
I followed a link when I was reading online news and it went to memorable gravestone markers.
The one I liked best was: I told you I was sick!

It made me smile. At least it didn't say: I told you benzo WD would kill me!

You are am amazing person who gives me lots of [...].

Hang in there and hopefully we can keep in touch.

NG
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Over 60 help and support.
« Reply #1337 on: December 01, 2020, 12:11:11 am »
Playing the "blame game" is normal when someone goes something as traumatic as this. I too blamed my doctor, for many months.
It toook me a while to stop this and start accepting the truth, which is that I most likely bullshitted the psych doc about how anxious I was. I WAS depressed, but later on realized I was ONLY because of the damn benzos. That is my truth and nothing I am proud of. I learned something going through this: I vowed to attempt NOT to lie again. To myself, and to others. Let me tell you, that isnt easy.

How do you all feel about us being older? Its been my observation that older women seem to do much better than young ones. Why? Because we have already faced major life changes and losses, so we better prepared. Now, that does not mean we heal faster. (I WISH!) But we do seem to have an advantage. Women usually are better listeners, we tend to more empathetic and nurturing.

I turned 70 last March and for the very first time, I realized that my years on earth will end much sooner than I had thought. I am not sure I want to be like my mother, who died at 93. Seeing her [...] through those last years was heartbreaking. My indomitable mother...turned into a tiny version of herself, helpless, needing help with everything. That woman scared me my entire life...until then. It was a really strange role reversal for me. If I make it 85, fine. But now I do have to face the truth about my age, and it is scary. Do you have same ideas, thoughts??? Honestly, there were many many years I thought I would be dead way before this. Mostly due to my predilection for drugs of many sorts. In 1968 ai was a dumb hippipe girl who swallowed all sort of pills and inhaled many substances and none of them made me feel better.  MJ made me paranoid. LSD was horrifying (my last Trip was I thought I was inside a giant tennis ball and couldnt get out of it!) I flirted briefly with methamphetamine (NOT the METH thats out there now. It was purer then.) Whatever, I was quickly addicted and my fellow hippie drug friends realized this and cut me off. Thank God they did. But I had already contracted Hep B, and went home to Maryland to recover. That took a year.  I recall my sheets were stained yellow from jaundice. Once I got better, I dabbled with coke, the real coke, not a fake one. Best high ever and thank God I couldnt find anyone to supply it to me.
So then I turned to alcohol.
And at age 30 benzos.
And so the story goes and goes. I am delighted to find myself now drug free. Scarred and battle weary I am. But ever so grateful I am alive.
[...] and her Amazing Cat, Bear
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.