Twelve months off and feeling fantastic!

Hi everyone. This is a follow up to the success story I wrote at three months. I am now just over 12 months out and wanted to post a brief update. This one is a little shorter.

 

If you would like to have a read of my original success story explaining my background and withdrawal in more detail it can be found here Three months off and feeling fantastic! The method I used can also be found in my signature.

 

Since then

 

In the time since my last success post a few very nice things have changed. One of the main catalysts for my situation was an unintentional and unfavorable move from a very comfortable location. In my previous post I stated how I am much happier in my new place and that is still true to this day. As I say it was the catalyst and it enabled a snow ball effect of depression, anxiety, and subsequently poor health and prescribed benzo use.

 

It wasn't like flicking a light switch but it was so apparent that the change of environment was positive. Immediately positive changes started to take place. The move coincided with myself reaching the 1mg point in my Diazepam taper. Some say the last stretch of the taper is often the hardest however due to the speed I went I found it to be the easiest.

 

While I was tapering I ensured I didn't have an excess intake of sugar, I basically removed most of it. Caffeine was also a no no, it some ways it still is. I never did smoke or muck around with illicit drugs and during my taper I always tried to avoid stimulants of any nature, I also avoided any depressants such as alcohol. I still do avoid these things just because it isn't and never was what I was into.

 

Symptoms?

 

This is the part everyone reads right? They're still sort of minutely there. Somewhat.

 

To be clear it's in absolute no way what it was during withdrawal. All of the symptoms I listed in my previous post have either gone or are very minute. As apart of this process it seems I've discovered I'm somewhat lactose intolerant, not severely but it makes me feel a bit off, Who would have thought? Who knows if what we go through has any impact on that but here we are.

 

I am able to sleep. I don't wake and have surges in my chest/core are which stop me from getting back to sleep, I will only get very slight and very very occasionally muscle twitches but they are slight and in no way a jerk or a hypnagogic jerk.

 

I did have some issues leaving my house at a stage there. This isn't so much an issue anymore. I will sometimes get some anxiety if I am out at odd times or if I am a very long distance away, but as the rest of the things on my list, it's something that seems to have improved greatly and hopefully it will just continue like that.

 

At the end of my taper I was still using Remeron (Mirtazapine). For those are using it I won't bore you with what you already know but for those who don't use it, it's an AD with anxiolytic properties. It can make people gain some weight through it's mechanism of action and at the lower doses it's anti-histamine properties make it beneficial for those who struggle with sleep. I left it for two months following finishing my benzo taper and then felt it was time to remove it. I did taper it, but it was speedily fast compared to the benzo. My benzo usage was four months with a ten month taper. The Remeron usage was 18 months with a 2 month taper. I could have gone faster, probably could have done it within a couple of weeks, but once you're bitten by the benzo I guess you're just very cautious not wanting to go to fast. I had no issues coming off Remeron, perhaps the first few nights my sleep was a little rough but it was nothing worth writing about  <- which I have just written about.

 

Now?

 

To put it succinctly? Your life changes for the better. During my withdrawal I did spend a lot of time wondering if I will return to the person I was previously. Well you do and you don't. You are still the same person but you've had an experience and at least for me I have much more time and understanding for people, and I view situations with much more empathy.

 

In my last post one of the key personal points was wanting to find less stressful and closer employment. I live in Australia and had previously worked for our Federal Government. It was high paying but the commute together with the stress wasn't worth it, especially when it begins to impact your health.

 

This will sound unrelated but stick with me alright? As a teenager I played ice hockey. I spent so much time at the ice rink that I met a woman there who became the love of my life and I spent the next five years of my life with her and as a result I stopped skating, she was much more important to me. One great part of being free of the benzo rollercoaster is the ability to get back and engage with your life once again, you eventually stop laying in bed or on the couch at home and begin catching up with friends and family just like you did before. One day a friend of mine invited me to return to skating, and a long story short, I now work there. Ice skating is something I am very good at doing, it's very close to where I live, and most of all it makes me very happy and doesn't feel like work. I've since started some work with the Government once again however it's very casual and isn't stressing one bit! In this country, much like everywhere, a large emphasis is placed on money and personal income. It's warranted to some extent but it's a very materialistic approach. I now find that health, happiness, and just being happy with your lifestyle are the most important things, and now I've got those back I am extremely grateful.

 

The key for anyone reading this is you just need to take it slow. I know it's mentioned time and time again on here but that really does seem to be what gets you to the finish line in the best possible shape. It's what I did and over the time I could feel myself repairing and getting better as I cut daily, but for this to happen it must be done slowly.

 

Thank you

Once again I would like to show appreciation to those previously mentioned in my last post, those who I've spoken with throughout my withdrawal, you provided massive support and for that I say thank you.

 

Edit: Fixed grammar.

 

Congrats.

 

 

Awesome about hockey and the ice rink.

 

 

Go Penguins! 

Thanks! 

 

Go Penguins! 

 

Hi Dark, so happy to see your success story. Congratulations for you to reaching the other side.

I'm 12 months out and still dealing with burning head/scalp, but some day is somewhat better.

My question for you did you had a burning thingling head /scalp feeling?

I'm coming off remeron too and would you tell me what was the dose when you jumped from remeron?

Thank you and God bless you and keep you healthy and happy for long time

Vica

Hi Vica, thank you so much. I had most of the symptoms people speak of but I didn't have a burning head/scalp. I did have some very strange symptoms happen though.

 

With Remeron I was on 30mg for around 18months. When I started to come off it I went down to 22.5mg for two weeks, then 15mg for two weeks, then 7.5mg for two weeks. Looking back I am confident enough that stopping here would have been fine however I wanted to be thorough so towards the end of that I had a compounding pharmacy make it into a liquid. I then lowered the dose gradually over a few weeks, I then stopped it at around 1mg. Nothing much happened when I stopped it. Thank you again for your kind words

Congratulations!  Thank you for sharing.  Wishing you lots of joy and love for your life. 

Glad to hear you're well! and nice to meet another aussie! XOX

nice to meet another aussie!

 

 

Thank you both so much 

Hi everyone. This is a follow up to the success story I wrote at three months. I am now just over 12 months out and wanted to post a brief update. This one is a little shorter.

 

If you would like to have a read of my original success story explaining my background and withdrawal in more detail it can be found here Three months off and feeling fantastic! The method I used can also be found in my signature.

 

Since then

 

In the time since my last success post a few very nice things have changed. One of the main catalysts for my situation was an unintentional and unfavorable move from a very comfortable location. In my previous post I stated how I am much happier in my new place and that is still true to this day. As I say it was the catalyst and it enabled a snow ball effect of depression, anxiety, and subsequently poor health and prescribed benzo use.

 

It wasn't like flicking a light switch but it was so apparent that the change of environment was positive. Immediately positive changes started to take place. The move coincided with myself reaching the 1mg point in my Diazepam taper. Some say the last stretch of the taper is often the hardest however due to the speed I went I found it to be the easiest.

 

While I was tapering I ensured I didn't have an excess intake of sugar, I basically removed most of it. Caffeine was also a no no, it some ways it still is. I never did smoke or muck around with illicit drugs and during my taper I always tried to avoid stimulants of any nature, I also avoided any depressants such as alcohol. I still do avoid these things just because it isn't and never was what I was into.

 

Symptoms?

 

This is the part everyone reads right? They're still sort of minutely there. Somewhat.

 

To be clear it's in absolute no way what it was during withdrawal. All of the symptoms I listed in my previous post have either gone or are very minute. As apart of this process it seems I've discovered I'm somewhat lactose intolerant, not severely but it makes me feel a bit off, Who would have thought? Who knows if what we go through has any impact on that but here we are.

 

I am able to sleep. I don't wake and have surges in my chest/core are which stop me from getting back to sleep, I will only get very slight and very very occasionally muscle twitches but they are slight and in no way a jerk or a hypnagogic jerk.

 

I did have some issues leaving my house at a stage there. This isn't so much an issue anymore. I will sometimes get some anxiety if I am out at odd times or if I am a very long distance away, but as the rest of the things on my list, it's something that seems to have improved greatly and hopefully it will just continue like that.

 

At the end of my taper I was still using Remeron (Mirtazapine). For those are using it I won't bore you with what you already know but for those who don't use it, it's an AD with anxiolytic properties. It can make people gain some weight through it's mechanism of action and at the lower doses it's anti-histamine properties make it beneficial for those who struggle with sleep. I left it for two months following finishing my benzo taper and then felt it was time to remove it. I did taper it, but it was speedily fast compared to the benzo. My benzo usage was four months with a ten month taper. The Remeron usage was 18 months with a 2 month taper. I could have gone faster, probably could have done it within a couple of weeks, but once you're bitten by the benzo I guess you're just very cautious not wanting to go to fast. I had no issues coming off Remeron, perhaps the first few nights my sleep was a little rough but it was nothing worth writing about  <- which I have just written about.

 

Now?

 

To put it succinctly? Your life changes for the better. During my withdrawal I did spend a lot of time wondering if I will return to the person I was previously. Well you do and you don't. You are still the same person but you've had an experience and at least for me I have much more time and understanding for people, and I view situations with much more empathy.

 

In my last post one of the key personal points was wanting to find less stressful and closer employment. I live in Australia and had previously worked for our Federal Government. It was high paying but the commute together with the stress wasn't worth it, especially when it begins to impact your health.

 

This will sound unrelated but stick with me alright? As a teenager I played ice hockey. I spent so much time at the ice rink that I met a woman there who became the love of my life and I spent the next five years of my life with her and as a result I stopped skating, she was much more important to me. One great part of being free of the benzo rollercoaster is the ability to get back and engage with your life once again, you eventually stop laying in bed or on the couch at home and begin catching up with friends and family just like you did before. One day a friend of mine invited me to return to skating, and a long story short, I now work there. Ice skating is something I am very good at doing, it's very close to where I live, and most of all it makes me very happy and doesn't feel like work. I've since started some work with the Government once again however it's very casual and isn't stressing one bit! In this country, much like everywhere, a large emphasis is placed on money and personal income. It's warranted to some extent but it's a very materialistic approach. I now find that health, happiness, and just being happy with your lifestyle are the most important things, and now I've got those back I am extremely grateful.

 

The key for anyone reading this is you just need to take it slow. I know it's mentioned time and time again on here but that really does seem to be what gets you to the finish line in the best possible shape. It's what I did and over the time I could feel myself repairing and getting better as I cut daily, but for this to happen it must be done slowly.

 

Thank you

Once again I would like to show appreciation to those previously mentioned in my last post, those who I've spoken with throughout my withdrawal, you provided massive support and for that I say thank you.

 

Edit: Fixed grammar.

 

I am so happy reading recovery stories?

How long after quitting did your sleep return? Insomnia is my worst symtom (with heart palpitations, heart racing sweating, headache etc. all at night).

I am so happy reading recovery stories?

How long after quitting did your sleep return? Insomnia is my worst symtom (with heart palpitations, heart racing sweating, headache etc. all at night).

 

Thank you! I had these symptoms somewhat during withdrawal however not during Remeron withdrawal. Sleep seem to come properly good for me a few months out after my jump, keeping in mind I did a nice slow taper. My sleep following Remeron withdrawal was disrupted slightly for a few days but then came good. During my Valium withdrawal getting to sleep was fine thanks to the Remeron but I would always wake up at the same time with this feeling of surges in my chest, like an electrical current. It would subside when I actually got up.