Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

I did get a bad noro virus, just before I quit Lunesta & tramadol cold turkey. This is what lead the doctors to dx virus related CFS when I had not recovered months later.

 

I am so looking forward to having withdrawals out of the equation so if I do get sick, (had not had more than 3 days off work in 25 years, prior to benzos), hopefully it will be more straight forward.

i never get sick with like a flu bug. but last night my niece was eating soup in my chair with me and she coughed on her noodles and then put them into my soup. i think i accidentally ate some of her noodles today i have a cough and a tickle in my throat for the first time in like 20 years, swear to heavens above! i really don't want to get a flu bug so i took 3 doses of

oscillococcinum which i usually swear by. i am really scared of getting a flu shot.

 

does anyone know if it's okay to have a flu shot in a benzo withdrawal? i haven't really been keep an update with this thread except for this page. really worried about having any kind of vaccination. would rather stick with the oscillo coc

what do you think?

Hi prettydaisys

 

Just checking out the forum again

 

I've had flu shots regularly the last few years including ones during taper. I never noticed any ill effects. About the only thing I can think of is an increased anxiety to the needle of the vaccination. Most poke's don't seem to hurt much anymore, however, so you should be good to go.

 

I did get hit with w/d badly when I had contracted a flu after jumping the first time.

It was a case of bad timing. I had jumped through hoops to get a doctor's note for 1 week sick leave. I took a 'final' dose that day. Two or three days latter, I got the flu plus w/d at the same time

 

Had to reinstate, call doctor and then head back to work the following week. I felt pretty defeated.

Four months later, taper ended officially

Hang in there, prettydiasies, ihope and sunny... Things do get better with time!

 

Hi V! I heard that Noroviruses can be contracted on cruise ships. I've also heard that hygenic practices in food prep areas on board ships aren't always good. Perhaps things have changed over the last few years. There's a book I read recently called "Don't Go There". Can't remember the author's name, but he has a section on cruises where he talks about that.

About 10 years ago, some co-workers of mine (a government department I worked at the time) were volunteering to go to LA area to advise people who had pet birds about a potential outbreak of a virus. I want to say it was a 'Norovirus' strain.

Anyway, thanks for the link and info.

 

Hope all are doing well. I'll check back to this post later...

 

 

 

 

c

 

 

does anyone know if it's okay to have a flu shot in a benzo withdrawal?

what do you think?

 

I personally wouldn't want a flu shot this far into winter, unless I was elderly and doctor advised it.  Here on the East coast, flu peaked back in November.  That's not to say one can't still get the flu and I don't know what the CDC reports about flu on the W. Coast, but I think if you didn't get a flu shot by November to early December, it's probably not worth it at this point (but check with your physician when in doubt).

 

V

 

Do you guys think having the flu can throw you into a bad wave? I had the flu all last week. It's mostly gone now, just a cough remains but I feel really bad like I'm going to snap mentally.

 

Any thoughts? Please.

Hi 2writerlou

 

I had the unfortunate experience of catching the flu when jumping. That sent ME into a bad wave and I had to reinstate  the taper immediatley. I did finish my taper 3 months later, however, and the second time was for good!

My short answer to your question is that the stress on the body from w/d plus a flu has the possibility of sending one into a bad wave temporarily

Temporarily is the key word, though. I learned that nothing is permanent during w/d and any setbacks you may have will be followed up by strides.

 

Sorry to hear that you are having difficulties right now, lou. Hang in there!

Do you guys think having the flu can throw you into a bad wave? I had the flu all last week. It's mostly gone now, just a cough remains but I feel really bad like I'm going to snap mentally.

 

Any thoughts? Please.

 

I had the flu 2 weeks before Christmas and MAN did it do a number on me.  Don't worry...things will subside once you are fully over the bug.  It took me a good week or so after the bug to start to feel more settled again.  My emotions were all over the place and I felt a lot more anxious.  I had a bit of a cold this weekend and even that did a number on me.  It's so frustrating...but it will pass. 

 

BIG BIG hugs to you...we are slowly but surely getting there. 

 

Love,

Schatje

Hello, everyone,

This is the first time I saw this thread! Wish I had sooner, but.......

I am totally benzo free........its been 6 monthes and 5 days and counting.....I never, ever thought I would still feel this awful for so long, and my 6 month "anniversary" hit me like a ton of bricks. Im now depressed on top of all of it. I am just not seeing much light at the end of the tunnel. For a couple weeks, I was having windows of a sort, brief periods when I felt slightly better, more hopeful. But then would get knocked over by big old waves, with some sx getting worse. Ive become phobic, have DR and DP, hypervigilance, etc etc. Also tons of physical sx. Some stuff has faded but its a short list. Im at the point of considering asking to start on Seroquel, when I see a psych NP later this month........not good, I know.

    I have NO desire to go back on a benzo, and have actually avoided seeing another psychiatrist because I am afraid thats what they'll suggest.... I have not met a single doctor yet who knows about withdrawal syndrome. They ALL have the attitude that withdrawal lasts a couple weeks and then you are done.....and deep down, I do not believe that Ive gone insane, tho sometimes I do worry about it.

    Im having a particularly bad day, and have been posting a lot, hoping someone will "talk" to me.

Hello, everyone,

This is the first time I saw this thread! Wish I had sooner, but.......

I am totally benzo free........its been 6 monthes and 5 days and counting.....I never, ever thought I would still feel this awful for so long, and my 6 month "anniversary" hit me like a ton of bricks. Im now depressed on top of all of it. I am just not seeing much light at the end of the tunnel. For a couple weeks, I was having windows of a sort, brief periods when I felt slightly better, more hopeful. But then would get knocked over by big old waves, with some sx getting worse. Ive become phobic, have DR and DP, hypervigilance, etc etc. Also tons of physical sx. Some stuff has faded but its a short list. Im at the point of considering asking to start on Seroquel, when I see a psych NP later this month........not good, I know.

    I have NO desire to go back on a benzo, and have actually avoided seeing another psychiatrist because I am afraid thats what they'll suggest.... I have not met a single doctor yet who knows about withdrawal syndrome. They ALL have the attitude that withdrawal lasts a couple weeks and then you are done.....and deep down, I do not believe that Ive gone insane, tho sometimes I do worry about it.

    Im having a particularly bad day, and have been posting a lot, hoping someone will "talk" to me.

 

Hi Eastcoast.  I am sorry to read that you are having a hard time at six months post benzo, along with the blues.  Please understand that it is not uncommon to have a prolonged period of healing in the first year with symptoms waxing and waning along with setbacks being possible as well as some depression regarding not healing as quickly as one might have liked.  Healing was not linear for me and many others who have posted on this thread as well.  In addition, if you had social anxiety or other issues for which you were taking the benzo, or if still sorting out other medications, it would be very understandable that your recovery might take a little longer.  Windows will come and go, but it is important that you find ways to manage stress in ways that you may not have done in the past. There are some suggestions on this thread if you take the time to read through it.  The most important thing is that you not feel abnormal for having symptoms and continued healing past six months.  While I felt about 75% healed by that point, it took me about 18 months before I was truly at 90% or above.  So hang in there and stay the course.  I can't speak to the decision about seroquel.  I did not use other medications before or after the benzo.  Some folks feel like they could use a mild a/d or something to help with sleep at some point while others feel they can grit it out.  It's a personal decision which nobody would judge you for, whichever way you decide.  I do agree, however, that unless you are on the verge of psychosis or self harm, there would be very little to motivate me to return to a benzo.  We've all been down that road and while in some rare cases, reinstatement might be medically justified, it is often counterproductive.  Ultimately, its your decision to make with your physician though.  I'm sure others will weigh in here as well.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

vertigo, thank you for your thoughtful reply. So many issues you raise and my memory is poor right now.

    I was bnot diagnosed with social anxiety, but I do believe it did develop - I KNOW it did - during my benzo years, and I believe its because of the benzos (interdose withdrawal). It just gradually got worse and worse.

    Yes, I do know a fair amount of how to handle the stress.... when Im this low, tho, its hard to DO any of it. I am going to go offline shortly, drive my car a short ways and make myself walk as long as I can.

    The thing that worries me most is that in all these 6 monthes, I have not had ANY breaks in the really uncomfortable physical and mental sx. I have brief windows, where I feel more optimistic and hopeful, but all those sx remain, just quiter for a brief time. No break in just over 6 monthes...its been extremely difficult.

    Ive had trouble accepting that everything Im going thru is "expected in withdrawal." I do know that  maybe my difficulties are because I cold turkeyd, and also used benzos and other stuff a really long time........altho Ive run across other people like this who quit without any problems.

    Im so exhausted from all this upset and crying today that, believe it or not, I feel slightly better. Thats why I am going to make myself go out the door, start the car and go walk, even tho it will just be marching around a large parking lot near my house. I dont feel safe to drive far, and dont have much gas anyway!

eastcoast

I just came off benzos last week. I still take two a/d's (Cymbalta and Paxil). I want to get off them but only when I've recovered. Does anyone know (or have an opinion) if taking a/d's prolongs and aggravates the recovery process?

 

I guess my questions are - is it easier to do benzos first and then a/d's? Does doing both at the same time make things exponentially worse?

Theres quite a debate about the use of ADs during benzo wd. Personally, I believe that if they helped you before, its much safer and smarter to keep taking them until you are pretty much fully recovered from the benzo. Getting off them sooner might be risky, as they frequently have their own withdrawal symptoms, and not pleasant ones, either! I knew this, but did NOT know how to taper them. I did the best I could, but in retrospect...............well. I think I did it too fast, plus tapered myself off Ambien and of course, I cold tyurkey'd off Klonapin. No wonder I am having such a rough time 6 monthes later............................................actually, thank you for bringing this subject up, because I needed to be reminded of this. My symptoms have been really bad, and I tend to forget about the anti-depressants I got off of. Wow.

Hello BBs. I am 18 months now off K. The physical is finally pretty much over. YAY. The depression is better. The DP/DR minimal.

But the intrusive thinking (about fear and being"messed up") are still clawing at me. I seem to be compulsively almost gravitating toward freaking myself out. Over nothing. Just this constant analyzing and metaphorically "taking my anxiety temperature" all the time. I was walking up the stairs home from work today, and the intrusive thought of the moment was "why am I always thinking about anxiety". The problem is more thinking about it, than It itself.

Maybe this is the new me. It sucks.

Thanks Vertigo Im glad I found this thread.

I need to support and receive support from my wonderful benzobuddies

 

 

I am still suffering at nearly the same level as I did when I first came off.  4 months ago!!!!

 

I would like to be able to leave my home, exercise with out paying for it the next day with horiffic symptoms and  insomnia. 

 

Does anyone know if this stuff is still hanging around in my body tissues..... my urine has been testing clear since about 1 week after cessation and my blood is clear to my knowledge.

 

Northofhere - I have not taken antidepressants but still am constantly anxious about anxiety and very pre-occupied with all my physical symptoms. Stay strong from what I have read it should start improving  soon 

 

 

 

Hi 2writerlou

 

I had the unfortunate experience of catching the flu when jumping. That sent ME into a bad wave and I had to reinstate  the taper immediately. I did finish my taper 3 months later, however, and the second time was for good!

My short answer to your question is that the stress on the body from w/d plus a flu has the possibility of sending one into a bad wave temporarily

Temporarily is the key word, though. I learned that nothing is permanent during w/d and any setbacks you may have will be followed up by strides.

 

Sorry to hear that you are having difficulties right now, lou. Hang in there!

Thanks for sharing your experience with me pangelingua. This is an odd wave. I feel like the flu is almost gone, except for the cough and weird appetite. The wave seems to have brought out a lot of mental symptoms and dizziness. I know it's got to be a wave. I hope it's a short wave. I'm feeling very down and discouraged lately. I forced myself to go to the gym today and it helped a little but the head pain is still really bad.

 

Thanks for reminding me that it's temporary. My mind seems to take over when I'm in a wave and I start doubting everything.

 

Take care,

Lou

Hi Lou

 

Sorry this nasty virus has you down... I'll tell you that I had quite the same experience the week before with that bug and I wouldn't even relate it to any kind of benzo w/d.

My wife who has never gone through benzo w/d got all the dizziness, head pain and body aches and pains and weakness also. It just seems to be the symptoms of the virus.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon. Glad I was able to lift your spirits.

Take care and I'll blog again soon

Hi Pangelingua,

 

Wow, maybe it is this bug then. My dizziness has been so much worse lately and I just can't believe how intense the head pain is. I've had the head pain since last summer but it usually goes away after lunch. For the last week, it's just been there all of the time. I do feel weaker too and achy. I guess I need to rest more and stop pushing myself so much or I won't be able to get past it.

 

Thanks for letting me know what you're wife went through. It's hard to know what is wd and what is the flu. Thanks again....you did lift my spirits....a lot !

 

Talk to you soon.

~Lou

Lou, I hope your wave turns out to be straightforward viral sx with a likely end date in sight.

 

My wave is hanging in there with no let up of the tachycardia & adrenaline rush & today my face is all swollen up with sinus infection. I don't know if I brought this on by thinking about being ready to go back to work but I have to cross this bridge at some point.

 

I am 6 months off in one week.

 

Towards, we need to allow time for our GABA receptors to recover their function & this commonly does take quite a few months. You & I are still at the earlier phase of this process but there's a very good prospect that this will happen for us before the end of the year & we should see some good improvement on the way to being completely healed.

vertigo, thank you for your thoughtful reply. So many issues you raise and my memory is poor right now.

    I was bnot diagnosed with social anxiety, but I do believe it did develop - I KNOW it did - during my benzo years, and I believe its because of the benzos (interdose withdrawal). It just gradually got worse and worse.

    Yes, I do know a fair amount of how to handle the stress.... when Im this low, tho, its hard to DO any of it. I am going to go offline shortly, drive my car a short ways and make myself walk as long as I can.

    The thing that worries me most is that in all these 6 monthes, I have not had ANY breaks in the really uncomfortable physical and mental sx. I have brief windows, where I feel more optimistic and hopeful, but all those sx remain, just quiter for a brief time. No break in just over 6 monthes...its been extremely difficult.

    Ive had trouble accepting that everything Im going thru is "expected in withdrawal." I do know that  maybe my difficulties are because I cold turkeyd, and also used benzos and other stuff a really long time........altho Ive run across other people like this who quit without any problems.

    Im so exhausted from all this upset and crying today that, believe it or not, I feel slightly better. Thats why I am going to make myself go out the door, start the car and go walk, even tho it will just be marching around a large parking lot near my house. I dont feel safe to drive far, and dont have much gas anyway!

eastcoast

 

Hi Eastcoast.  That's a great idea to get some exercise.  Studies have shown that it can be as beneficial if not more so than an a/d in terms of mood elevation and overall health.  I was never formally diagnosed with social anxiety either, but certain events and history in my life have made me come to understand that I've had life long anxiety that was medicated with social drinking and avoidance for many years.  The benzo I took back in 2008 was an attempt to deal with a family member's cancer and a big family trip I was to take with him and with siblings  I don't get along with.  It was a mistake to resort to valium (but I was having trouble sleeping and was quite anxious about that upcoming trip).  Even though the valium did help make that three week trip easier in some ways, it was of course not worth the next couple years of tapering off, healing the CNS, getting rid of the vertigo and then doing the work to develop better coping skills for anxiety and stress while my CNS came back.  It was a several year process that forced me to look at my pre benzo habits and ways of handling stress, attention and mood.  When I used to spend more time on forum, it sometimes surprised me how some folks seemed to be expecting miracles in healing after only a few short months, especially given their history and pre benzo issues and other medications which some were still taking or tapering (in my opinion) too early on after the benzo taper.  The CNS can only handle so much at a time and like some have posted, I think it can be beneficial if one was on several other medications in addition to the benzo, to hold for 3-6 months after the benzo taper before tackling other medication tapers...  There are always some exceptions and one should always discuss the timing of one's medication changes with one's physician.  There are also some who were not on an a /d who decide to take some low dose of something to  help with the blues or sleep, after trying for months to cope without it.  In my case, I did not have other medications to manage, other than the occasional over the counter allergy and reflux medications.  I did briefly consider trying something like St. John's Wort about six months or so post taper, due to a fair amount of blues and some stressful life events during that first year off the benzo.  I elected to go with increasing exercise, which helped to lower blood pressure but I ended up  taking too much weight off and had a sizeable setback at around 9 months off.  I won't go into the details here since it's been posted earlier on this thread.  I will just say that moderation is key when it comes to healing.  I could stand to lose about 15 pounds now but will go much more gradually with the weight loss this time around .  In any event, I hope you will start to turn the corner and begin to see more healing in the coming months, Eastcoast.  Be patient and always kind with yourself.  It's not an easy thing to stop taking and stay off a benzo, but the rewards are there as the nervous system heals.  Continued healing to all  you post benzo warriors, including ihope, Lou, Toward, North, Pangelingua... and the rest .

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

hello vertigo and everyone,

You raised some good points. At this point in time, I do not want to take an anti-depressant. I believe that any "depression" is reactive, since I am going thru a lot of both physical and mental symptoms, plus there's been a slllooowww start of memories coming back and facing some things that got buried under years of drug use. Sure, I get down. The sobbing and weepiness are part of withdrawal. I can actually feel it happen, its a wave of deep sorrow which then passes quickly.

    I think that for now, the less medication I take, the better. Nothing I have tried has helped, anyway. Right now, I am taking diclofenac for the rib fracture with good relief, and take a very small dose of Tramadol at bedtime for the same reason. I also take 5o-100 mgs of Trazedone for sleep but am not comfortable taking it so will be ditching it shortly. Other than those, I take Colace, vitamins, my B12 shots every month and Atenolol for blood pressure. To think - 6 monthes ago my daily pill intake was, let me think.....10-14 pills every single day!!! Wow.

c

hello vertigo and everyone,

You raised some good points. At this point in time, I do not want to take an anti-depressant. I believe that any "depression" is reactive, since I am going thru a lot of both physical and mental symptoms, plus there's been a slllooowww start of memories coming back and facing some things that got buried under years of drug use. Sure, I get down. The sobbing and weepiness are part of withdrawal. I can actually feel it happen, its a wave of deep sorrow which then passes quickly.

    I think that for now, the less medication I take, the better. Nothing I have tried has helped, anyway. Right now, I am taking diclofenac for the rib fracture with good relief, and take a very small dose of Tramadol at bedtime for the same reason. I also take 5o-100 mgs of Trazedone for sleep but am not comfortable taking it so will be ditching it shortly. Other than those, I take Colace, vitamins, my B12 shots every month and Atenolol for blood pressure. To think - 6 monthes ago my daily pill intake was, let me think.....10-14 pills every single day!!! Wow.

 

I didn't want to take an a/d either and did not.  Go with your gut and see how you feel as the weeks and months pass.  It may be that the tramadol could be giving you some problems.  I have heard that it can be pretty potent and have side effects. 

 

Keep on healing,

 

V

Hi all!

 

Posting back here after a somewhat busy week.

Had new flooring put in kitchen Wed in the morning plus worked 12 hours into the early morning.

I'll be working a 12 again this evening.

 

I'm a post benzo member who chose to stay with an A/D (remeron) even though I prefer to be as med free as possible. I insist on very small dosages and fortunately, the doctors at my medical center have been supportive with my decision. I mostly get by with 4mg remeron whereas a 'theraputic' dosage is considered to be 30-45mgs.

I have demonstrated (at least to their satisfaction), that I have done fairly well on 'homeopathic' dosages, so the docs leave me alone on the issue.

Anyway, eastcoast, and all others here... the best way is lies within, med or no med and my wish for you and all others here is the best of sailing!

 

Just thought I'd end this reply with an update to my situation. I've been at an impass a bit with the school that my son attends. He attends a private school. He has done very well there academically but unfortunately, the fellowship and support from other families and kids there has been less than positive. I'm just asking for some empathy, as this situation has caused me a fair share of grief. In fact, it has kicked up some old benzo s/xs once again and has caused me some CNS distress. I should also post to the 'prayer request board'

I have considered a different school for him. In fact, I went there the other day and was given a tour by their school director.

I just don't know which is best right now, so I'll just have to pray about the situation and hopefully, a more positive experience will come if my son should stay there. My son is rather stoic and seems willing to put up with the snobbiness and cliques that prevail at that school. We have him on the basketball team this year so hopefully that will help change things.

 

Anyway, for now, I must be moving on. Got some shopping to do. I'll try to post back later and see how everyone's doing. take good care and may all your windows be good ones'!  

Stopped by today after receiving notice of the survey-  so glad this issue may be getting attention in the US.  Also am very happy to see 2 things: the thread with Baylissa and a notice that Matt Samet is publishing a benzo book.  Both of those wonderful people helped me so much through my recovery.

 

So did you Vertigo.  I want you to know how much I appreciate that.  You were supportive from the beginning when I was in so much pain.

 

Thankfully, life is very busy in good ways, but as soon as things slow down I am going to (finally) write my success story.  I hope it will help others as success stories helped me.

 

Wishing everyone love and healing.

 

Becca