Author Topic: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story  (Read 5592 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2017, 01:43:34 pm »
Wow, what an amazing success story, a tribute to the strength and determination of the human spirit. Very very powerful, thank you so much for returning to share your journey. Wishing you all the best.

 :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2017, 02:02:31 pm »
Your is a story filled with courage and faith to carry on throughout the tremendous difficulties you underwent. I am so glad you took the time to write, and thank you from the bottom of my heart!! It is very important for us to read about stories such as yours and others', how you stepped into the fire and came out the other side an entirely new person, filled with joy, freedom to live the life you want, a new spiritual awakening, and a new body, as you have done.

Thank you also for the tips that you provided at the end. They are very sound and will help all of us!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2017, 02:41:17 pm »
Thank each and every one of you for your kind words and encouragement! This truly is a wonderful community and it is inspiring to see all of the people who stick around after completing their own journeys to help others. From my perspective, that is always one of the main reasons we have such experiences. We only truly learn to help others by going through these hardships ourselves. All of your posts have provided me the fuel I need to power myself through my writing for the day, so for that I thank you as well!

I am now onto the chapter about my protracted withdrawal, weight loss, and quitting smoking, and I hope to be finished it in a couple of weeks. After that, I have two chapters left until completion, so I am quite excited. It is a lot different than writing a normal book, as I have to start by going back into that time and recalling everything as it happened, and then tapping into the state of mind that I was in back then, as it is written in more of a present tense than a reflective narration so that readers can really travel along for the journey. It has been extremely difficult at times, but it has been a vital part of my healing, as I have found that I don't fully let go of the traumas until I get them down on paper. I have also been somewhat worried due to the transparency of it all, as I am effectively opening my heart and soul up to anyone who is willing to read it and that can be a rather frightening concept, but I know that it is the only way to truly set myself free from my past while providing others with hope at the same time. In this respect, all of your responses have been especially encouraging and give me just what I need to push onward despite any silly reservations. In putting this out there, in no way am I looking for public applause or recognition for what I've done, as my only intention is to illustrate the fact that we all have this power inside of us that we can harness to overcome all of our limitations and achieve miraculous things in our lives. If my story can catalyze that realization for even one person, I will be extremely grateful, but of course it would be nice for as many people as possible to get in touch with that part of themselves. 

In the meantime, I will return as much as possible to respond to any replies and help as much as I am able to. Though I may not be here quite so frequently, the forum and all of its members are never far from my thoughts, as the cause is very close to my heart, and I will always be sending each and every one of you as much love as you can handle. ;)

I also thought of three additional points to add to the list at the end of my story, which I will post below and in the original entry:

5. Happiness and health are directly related. From my own experiences, I found that the happier I was, the more I was able to heal, and vice versa. In the first year or so, I was left feeling quite low, but as I focused on regaining my health instead of dwelling on my pain I gradually became happier. After my revelatory experience, which taught me acceptance and forgiveness, I found that my personal healing was greatly accelerated, as I no longer held longer held onto my pain or identified with it. I owned it but I no longer allowed it to control my life, and as a result it slowly dissipated. This interrelation of health and happiness is like an intrinsic reward system of sorts, because as human beings we are wired for these states. If we have one, we seem to automatically find the other - it is only natural. Unfortunately, throughout the development of society, we have allowed other things to get in the way of these birthrights. If you look at different cultures throughout the world, you will find that the happiest people also tend to be the healthiest and vice versa. In much of Western society, we are detached from any semblance of our natural way of being, which is living our lives on our own terms rather than following another person's (or society's) ideas for us. We all have our own gifts and strengths that we are meant to share with others, and they constitute a significant part of our reason for being. We were born into these lives to experience happiness through the sharing of our unique gifts, talents, and personalities with others, not to suffer in misery because we were never given the chance. In some ways, we as a people have forgotten how to be happy. I believe that this is why many of us sometimes seek pleasure in destructive ways, and is why it is so important to rediscover what truly makes us feel happy and fulfilled. I know that the tapering journey and protracted withdrawal are extremely difficult to handle, but if you can find the strength to engage in activities that bring you pleasure despite your illness, I believe that you will be "rewarded" with reduced symptoms. It may seem like an impossible task upon first reading about it, but it is truly worth a try. You may be pleasantly surprised, or dare I say "happy", with the results.

6. Find your own dreams and hold onto them with all your might. What would you like to do when you free yourself from benzos? It could be anything from taking a nice walk in your favourite park to obtaining your master's degree... the options are limitless as long as you are willing to believe in yourself and your dream, and take the steps to make it a reality. Once you believe and focus on your dreams within yourself through imagination/visualization, it automatically becomes real to you on some level, and all that remains is to enact these changes in your physical life, which is surprisingly simple once you have a firm image of your desired results within your mind.

7. Benzodiazepine withdrawal, as well as life itself, is entirely subjective, and though there may be similarities between experiences, your healing journey is entirely your own, and as such, there will be differences as well. In this respect, it is important that you refrain from focusing too much on others' negative experiences as if they will inevitably happen to you as well, because you are actually doing nothing but increasing the likelihood of their occurrence. Though it can understandably be extremely tough due to the anxiety and fear that goes along with withdrawal and increases one's susceptibility to suggestion, I recommend that you attempt to do the opposite instead, and focus on your dreams as mentioned above, and how your case will be different.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2017, 04:51:56 pm »
Congratulations and thank-you so very much for sharing your amazing and truly inspirational success story!  I'm going to try to focus on my dreams now instead of the painful aspects of recovery.  Enjoy your life  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2017, 07:51:59 pm »
Agreed on points 5, 6 and 7 !
I must say I have a hard time with visualization so when the body feels so bad . But I can do things like affirmations , and focus on at lest positive thinking, even if I can't visualize .... Any tips Old friend?
Love, [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Corman’s Success Story
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2017, 08:36:23 pm »
Agreed on points 5, 6 and 7 !
I must say I have a hard time with visualization so when the body feels so bad . But I can do things like affirmations , and focus on at lest positive thinking, even if I can't visualize .... Any tips Old friend?
Love, [...]

Hi [...],

Visualization can be tough for anyone, but I would imagine that the challenge is greatly increased after benzo withdrawal, and I wish I would have taken that into consideration when I posted it. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even think about the concept let alone attempt it until about two years after getting off and even then it was a challenge. I will definitely have to alter that point a little bit to make it more accessible for everyone.

I have a couple of different ideas that I hope will work for you.First, you must find your most powerful "inner sense". Typically people who are highly visual to begin with in their everyday life have more luck with visualization, but people who are more auditory and tactile can have difficulties. As such, until they can cultivate the skill of visualization, it can be helpful to focus on your inner senses of hearing or feeling. If you are an auditory person, you can imagine yourself hearing something about your dream, like your family praising and congratulating you or something else along those lines. If you are more of a "feeling" person, then you should focus on the sensation of achieving your dream or an associated physical feeling. For instance, imagine how it feels to be completely healed, physically and mentally. Eventually, if you work at it you can combine all three faculties to form a cohesive picture that makes it all seem very real, which it is on a certain level. If something becomes a reality within your mind, there is a greatly heightened chance that you can make it a reality in your life.

If you really wish to develop the skill of visualization in particular, the best advice I can give is to fake it until you make it. When we think of visualization, we often imagine that it entails elaborate images, such as those we see with our eyes open, but most of the time that is not the case. (Though this ability actually can be cultivated, most people have to start quite small, myself included.) We project our idea of sight onto the concept of visualization and imagine that because we aren't "seeing" vivid images that we are unable to visualize adequately. However, for this skill we have to change our definition of seeing, as we will be looking with our minds rather than our eyes. You really just have to imagine the idea in your head. For the first while, everything will be quite black, or you may see the odd colour flash before you like blue or purple, but you must keep up the practice despite any discouragement and simply continue to imagine the desired scene or image. Eventually when you find that you have dropped your expectations, you will begin to perceive fleeting mental images, which is the sign that you are on the right track. Once you actually experience this and truly realize that your inner sight is much different from the physical sense, you catch on rather quickly. All that it really requires is patience and persistence.

I really hope that this is helpful! Thank you so much for all of your kindness! And thank you as well, [...]! I am very happy to hear that! :)

Edit: It just dawned on me that many of the people who have struggled with benzodiazepines are likely "feeling" individuals, as anxiety often coincides with a high level of sensitivity. I will be sure to edit that point to reflect this idea later on if other people agree.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2017, 08:41:51 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2017, 10:30:25 pm »
Old Friend,

Your success story touched parts of my heart I didn't know I had.  The extraordinary gift God gave you to so eloquently and fluidly express what lies deep within your soul is not of this world.  I am dumbfounded.  Thank you for sharing your gift with us. 

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #17 on: May 01, 2017, 02:15:58 am »
Thank you very much for the additional points you mentioned. I'm going to try visualization again starting tonight at bedtime. I tried it before and gave up because the fear of symptoms was overpowering. But I need to push through, and I believe the time is right. Your ideas kindled a spark to develop that further. Thank you from the bottom of my heart once more!!  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #18 on: May 01, 2017, 03:39:04 am »
Yes , thank Old friend so much for those clarifications , very helpful. I am a very feeling and auditory person, tactile .....I am a musician and clothing designer , or was !
I can more easily ' feel' something by remembering something that was happy to me ,
Like making music .... Or looking at things that give me pleasure , like fabrics ..... There are very real things that I have a response to that is positive . I then can feel it more present time , the visualizing tends to elude me as it feels like something in the future , and the suffering tends to get in the way of being able to imagine that I guess, if this makes any sense! I'm not sure it does but maybe you can sense between the lines !
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Living in the Light: OldFriend/Cormanís Success Story
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2017, 01:02:43 am »
Old Friend,

Your success story touched parts of my heart I didn't know I had.  The extraordinary gift God gave you to so eloquently and fluidly express what lies deep within your soul is not of this world.  I am dumbfounded.  Thank you for sharing your gift with us. 

[...]

Wow, thank you very much! That is the kindest compliment I've ever received about my writing and it is greatly appreciated.  :) And much more importantly, it is wonderful to hear that it spoke to you on that level! That is exactly what I hoped for when I first set out on my quest to share this story.

Thank you very much for the additional points you mentioned. I'm going to try visualization again starting tonight at bedtime. I tried it before and gave up because the fear of symptoms was overpowering. But I need to push through, and I believe the time is right. Your ideas kindled a spark to develop that further. Thank you from the bottom of my heart once more!!  :smitten:

You're very welcome! So happy to hear that it spoke to you! I would love to hear your results. This whole journey takes a lot of pushing, but it somehow always turns out to be worth it if you believe enough. And thank you so much for your heartfelt comment earlier in the thread! It really meant a lot to hear that it touched you in such a way. 

Yes , thank Old friend so much for those clarifications , very helpful. I am a very feeling and auditory person, tactile .....I am a musician and clothing designer , or was !
I can more easily ' feel' something by remembering something that was happy to me ,
Like making music .... Or looking at things that give me pleasure , like fabrics ..... There are very real things that I have a response to that is positive . I then can feel it more present time , the visualizing tends to elude me as it feels like something in the future , and the suffering tends to get in the way of being able to imagine that I guess, if this makes any sense! I'm not sure it does but maybe you can sense between the lines !
[...]

You're so welcome! I had a "feeling" that you were more of a tactile person.  ;) Your creativity will also be a major asset since it allows you to operate from a place that's relatively detached of linear ways of thinking which can shut such imaginative things down at times. I would love to hear about your experiences with the feeling if you are comfortable sharing.

Thank everyone so much for all of their comments and questions! It is wonderful to talk to people here now, as I was unable to speak to most people back when I was undergoing my taper. I mostly just kept to my Progress Log and occasionally forced myself to participate in the games, but communication was almost impossible for me back then. I'm so grateful to have the chance to make up for the missed time now. I will also do my best to go back and answer all of the earlier people who I missed as soon as I can. Talk to everyone soon!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.