Healed after 12 years!

I believe that, too.

 

This is an excerpt from his earlier posts: In 2000 my husband was prescribed 0.5 mg of ativan 3xday for a nervous breakdown.  Over the years, through repeated prescriptions, he dosage reached 6mg by 2005.  From research that I have done, we now know that this was due to tolerance withdrawal.  At the end of 2005, things got very bad, and he wound up cold turkeying in the hospital. 

 

From what I read of your posts, you were on .5 mg. Klonopin and did a micro-taper, very different from a c/t.

I believe that, too.

 

This is an excerpt from his earlier posts: In 2000 my husband was prescribed 0.5 mg of ativan 3xday for a nervous breakdown.  Over the years, through repeated prescriptions, he dosage reached 6mg by 2005.  From research that I have done, we now know that this was due to tolerance withdrawal.  At the end of 2005, things got very bad, and he wound up cold turkeying in the hospital. 

 

From what I read of your posts, you were on .5 mg. Klonopin and did a micro-taper, very different from a c/t.

 

Once the drug turns on you, you cannot remain in tolerance for years. The drug will slowly mess you up more and more. That was his problem. He should have gotten off early, and not went to 6 mgs Ativan. The drug eventually is likely to become paradoxical once you start having troubles where no legit (no amount is legit, really) amount of the drug is going to cover the withdrawal effects. You are slowly hypersensitized, and likely directly, by the drug itself.

 

My take.

What doctors are aware of this??? The CNS is so complex; the benzos are complex because of all the neurotransmitters in the body.

 

Yes, he shouldn't have updosed. But who is versed in all the language of the benzo? Very few, unfortunately.

 

The CNS becomes hypersensitized over time. No one realizes exactly when the domino effect starts coming into play because the signs can be subtle at first. No one becomes an expert on benzo withdrawal overnight...

 

I had no idea that my dizziness was the result of Ativan. I thought it was the bp pills I was prescribed. When severe vertigo hit, it took two times for me to start researching. Then I knew, but by that time it was too late...I would have had to updose to 1.5 mg. or 2 mg. because I was actually dependent on 1 mg. and didn't realize it. The "as needed" clause that is put on the prescription bottle is a sham...

Receptor "theory" is called theory, because it is not scientifically proven that receptors even exist. It is a "language" that makes it easier to explain to people what they "think" the drugs may be doing. There are no proven receptors.

 

Here is an example, I am sure many have heard of "Benzo Receptors", but why in the world would the human body evolve to have them? They didn't even exist 65 years ago. Do we really evolve that quickly?

 

There is no scientifically proven thing as a drug receptor. But rarely, and I mean rarely, does anyone go against what they learned from a perceived authority.

 

What receptors? We can see actual pictures of atoms online, but there is no receptors to view, only cartoons and diagrams. Why is this?

 

Bumping this thread again for us old timers and for those who are convinced they're "stuck" with BWS. Eventually we all reach a place in recovery where we can move on and leave this shit behind us. Thanks again Mr.B

Thanks for bumping this rockfan. I needed to hear this recovery story today.

What a wonderful thing to read, because I, too, have been realizing lately that after 7 years, I still had a bit more healing to do. I thought I was fully healed, but it turned out not to be quite true. I can only look FORWARD to the coming year to see how much else will change in me...all for the better!

That these drugs can do this to people is astounding, and that no one has really STOPPED the use of benzos is horrible. Because I am a nurse, I know that in some cases a short term prescription for a  benzo is not out of line. But no more than 2 weeks! What always happens is the patients says the benzo helped them, so the doctor keeps writing scripts. And yet another BB person is in the making.

This stuff really is perplexing, that such a thing could happen in an educated country, with decent physicians.....But it happens ALL of the time.

east

Did you have to take an antibiotic during your time off or anything else? Were you bedridden at times? So glad you are better

Thanks for all of the posts in this thread.

 

I am wondering if those of you who have had set backs can site any one thing that might have instigated the huge setback.

 

I am convinced that many antibiotics will do this to us.  High stress and an illness.  Anything?  So fascinating to try to understand.

 

Thanks for any replays.

 

Klonkar

This is just my personal opinion but I do not think most antibiotics affect us a bit. The floroquinolones, yes, maybe. (And I cannot spell that word! LOL!) I took prescribed Amoxicillin during acute wd without any troubles.

 

I was not truly bed ridden that first ugly year post cold turkey. I personally cannot stand being inactive. I forced myself to get out of bed and DO something, just to get my mind off withdrawal woes. I never advise people to lie in bed, because it just makes you focus even MORE on how awful and scared you feel. Get up, get busy, doing something, anything that gets your mind OFF benzos and onto something else. Benzo wd is not an illness. It is a temporary condition, and bedrest is NOT needed and may hurt one by NOT being semi active. I know you feel awful!!! All of us do. This damn condition can make you assume you have gone plumb nuts, or have some dreadful weird disease.

But you haven't. Its pure benzo withdrawal for the vast majority.

Never give up, people.

east

Thanks for all of the posts in this thread.

 

I am wondering if those of you who have had set backs can site any one thing that might have instigated the huge setback.

 

I am convinced that many antibiotics will do this to us.  High stress and an illness.  Anything?  So fascinating to try to understand.

 

Thanks for any replays.

 

Klonkar

 

I had a setback from alcohol ... just a couple of drinks was enough to throw me back into w/d agony for a very long time.  I've been on antibiotics a few times (Clindamyacin) and didn't have an issue.  We are all individuals and what may cause harm to one may not to another.  Still it's very wise to be cautious about what is ingested.  Oh and yes, stress exacerbates my pain.  I also used to be made much worse by any ingestion of MSG or glutamate in some foods ... thankfully that doesn't happen too much anymore although I still have to be careful.  You might want to start a thread on the topic where your question will probably get more replies. 

 

Edited to fix a spelling error.

Whoopsie, I stopped smoking this year. Switched to an fairly innocuous  cig ( or so I hope!) I no longer take about 12 pills a day. I only take 4, and all of them for hypertension.

You have been on BB a long time, like me. How are you doing these days??

east

Whoopsie, I stopped smoking this year. Switched to an fairly innocuous  cig ( or so I hope!) I no longer take about 12 pills a day. I only take 4, and all of them for hypertension.

You have been on BB a long time, like me. How are you doing these days??

east

 

Congrats on stopping smoking East but you switched to something else?  Gratefully I managed to stop smoking too, just celebrated 5 years off those.  Originally I switched to herbal cigs which were dreadful (taste and smell) and after 4 or 5 months of that, I quit all together. 

 

I came to BB at 2 years off everything, and very much suffering.  Prior I'd been on another forum that closed down.  I am still not recovered but sure am a way lot better than I used to be, thank you for asking.  I can really tell I'm improving now and I hang on to hope that I'll feel somewhat normal at some point because of Mr. B's success story.  It depends what time of day you talk to me what kind of answer you'll get to this question.  That is the nature of this condition. 

Dear Eastcoast:

 

There is no doubt in my mind that other antibiotics can cause acute symptoms when taking benzos.  It is no coincidence

that I had a severe debilitating experience when taking amoxicillin 7 year ago and then doxycycline  put me into the hospital with

two  NSTEMi heart attack, twice.  It cannot be a coincidence that in 7 years both of these incidents happened on day two of the antbiotic

prescription.  Of course, no doctor caught this and I  was sent home after dozens of tests with no conclusion.  It has taken me years to

understand that I was also in benzo tolerance but these two incidents wiped me out. 

 

These drugs are, in fact  negative allosteric modulators of the GABA-a neurotransmitters  just like fluoroquinolone antibiotics. 

These drugs displace the GABA neurotransmitters and that is the very worst thing we can do when we are already struggling with benzos

down regulating the GABA system.  This is a very good list of meds, supplements, fumes, etc. people currently taking benzos or who are still tapering should avoid.  I will, avoid them for as long as possible and I am 4 months post tapering.

 

Here is a link if you are interested in actually knowing what the negative modulators are.  Thee are antagonists as well.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:GABAA_receptor_negative_allosteric_modulators

 

I hope this will shed some light on how harmful other ABs can be for people here on BBs.

 

Klonkar

 

Thanks for all of the posts in this thread.

 

I am wondering if those of you who have had set backs can site any one thing that might have instigated the huge setback.

 

I am convinced that many antibiotics will do this to us.  High stress and an illness.  Anything?  So fascinating to try to understand.

 

Thanks for any replays.

 

Klonkar

 

I had a setback from alcohol ... just a couple of drinks was enough to throw me back into w/d agony for a very long time.  I've been on antibiotics a few times (Clindamyacin) and didn't have an issue.  We are all individuals and what may cause harm to one may not to another.  Still it's very wise to be cautious about what is ingested.  Oh and yes, stress exacerbates my pain.  I also used to be made much worse by any ingestion of MSG or glutamate in some foods ... thankfully that doesn't happen too much anymore although I still have to be careful.  You might want to start a thread on the topic where your question will probably get more replies. 

 

Edited to fix a spelling error.

 

 

 

How long were you healed when you drank??? That is horrible it set you back pretty bad!

I am grateful for this thread as are many protracted people for the hope it gives us.  We cannot please everyone and we each have our own stories to tell.  Apparently most people don't take this long to get better.  Not the case for me.  I am 64 years old.  Maybe one day, I too can write a success story.

Don’t read threads that upset you. We can all choose what we read. This thread has kept a lot of protracted people going, including me. The truth is most people feel a lot better after a year or two, but some don’t, and for a minority it can go on for a very long time.

 

I now don't care how many years it takes me just as long as it ENDS.

I now don't care how many years it takes me just as long as it ENDS.

 

I am grateful for this thread as are many protracted people for the hope it gives us.  We cannot please everyone and we each have our own stories to tell.  Apparently most people don't take this long to get better.  Not the case for me.  I am 64 years old.  Maybe one day, I too can write a success story.

 

There you go.... everyone is in the same box right? Who cares about another human suffering... so keep the thread going and keep patting the OP on the back for a great encouraging post!  I wish they would at least change the title so I don't have to read it and struggle with the thought of another 12+ years of going through this crap! 😡 

 

Shh Raquel.....of course we care about any kind of suffering. ...why on earth you compare your difficult  taper situation with Mr.B's brutal detox or cold turkey is beyond me.

 

Always adviseable to read the signature first before judging. 

 

Wish you well and a speedy recovery after your taper. 

 

 

I do understand.....I'm 67 and in 12 year I might NOT be alive. Hope it does't take me that long to heal. I'm on

my second attempt to wean off Klonopin ! 12 years of suffering is very discouraging to me. I'm very scared.... please Lord

help me heal  !

So glad you have won the battle and wishing you healing and love.

Blessing and healing to all of us !

Raqual,

I understand 100%. wish all this pain and your pain  could go away ! Praying for you and all the others hurting !

My heart hurts for you ! Sending you love, and healing thoughts. May the Lord bless you and help you heal and give

you courage and strength .

You are loved and sending healing thoughts.

 

blessings

I find it pretty unfair the way some members hijacked this success story in order to vent about their situation.  How do you think Mr.B must feel after licking the streets of hell for so long ?

 

If you don't know the difference between a brutal detox vs tapering ....I suggest its time to do your homework.

 

Instead of accusing me of lack of compassion....where is yours for him ?

Copied....

 

'' Hello friends,

 

I just thought I would drop in and give a little update to my story, and to share a little advice that may help some of you who are still suffering with this temporary bullshit (the people who say permanent haven't given it enough time).

 

One thing I must first say is.. that if you are just a few months or a few years into this process of healing, looking at my story will not help you at all. When I first came off ativan, I did the exact same thing. I read horror stories all over the internet and it only made things much, much, worse for me. I had to learn to cultivate a mind that ignored all the negative messages that my drug ravaged brain was sending me. This was not easy at first, and it did not happen overnight.. I had to work very hard at it. Do the same for yourself because 'YOU COULD HEAL TOMMOROW' and that is a proven fact!

 

I didn't write my story to scare newcomers into thinking that this will take 12 years. Chances are that in a very short time your brain will rewire itself and you will be better than ever.. as I am now. I wrote this story for the people out there at 6, 7, 8++ years and counting, to tell them that this ends, and to just hang in there.. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT! Professor Ashton told me in a letter "The good news is that people recover" Keep telling yourself that over and over in your darkest hours.

 

Since my own recovery, I have found a peace in my life that I never had before. I now appreciate everything good and bad that life has to offer me. Nothing bothers me at all anymore, and I live and love life to the fullest. This mindset was a gift that this awful drug induced horror has given me.. and I don't regret it, and wouldn't change it for the world.

 

 

Suffering and recovery can be a great gift, and I believe it means even more to us.. 'the super protracted'. please try to accept and embrace this thought.

 

 

Kind regards to all,

 

                            Mr. B ''

I just realized that even if I make a full recovery, posting it here would likely be met with disbelief and hostility due to my timeline alone :'(

 

No wonder we have so few success stories for severely protracted people on this site. There's no way would I allow anyone to censor the truth of my own experience, given the extreme nature of what I've had to survive. And yet if I do recover, it's also extremely unlikely that I'd have much interest in subjecting myself to negativity and hostility from others, let alone from a community of fellow survivors, simply because my recovery was extremely protracted, severe, and literally disabling.

 

I'm so sad this has happened on one of the only success stories on this entire site that still provides hope and feels at all relevant to me. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of stories on here that can provide hope for a faster recovery, as this is clearly the norm for the vast majority of people. For those of us who got hit much harder than others and are taking much longer to heal, this is one of only a tiny handful of stories that can still provide us with hope (including those who are your age or older, Raquel). We need more protracted success stories, as there are very few to be found anywhere. No one will bother to come back and write them if this is the response they are met with. Please have compassion and empathy for those whose injury was extensive. Don't take away hope for recovery from those who have so little left.

 

If this story bothers you, please discuss it elsewhere. Do not diminish the heroic recovery of Mr. B and others who hope to be like him. This is a true success story, and a place for celebration and hope for <i>all</i> of us, not just some of us.

 

I sincerely hope this doesn't deter Mr. B from leaving another update, as I truly look forward to them....