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Healed after 12 years!


[Mr...]

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Hi Mr B; I see you still visit from time to time. I hope you’re still doing well. Maybe you can give us an update when you get a chance  8)
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This thread gave me hope and is what helps me keep pushing on while I am almost at 8 years off now.  Everyone is unique and will heal in their own time.  Altogether I have 10 and a half years from Effexor and now almost 8 from the Xanax.  So many variables so you really can't get discouraged.  Most short time users seem to heal quickly.
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I just came across this and while it’s awesome you got better (congrats!) damn seeing the 12 years distresses me. I’m 2 years out and still in agony I can’t imagine 10 more years of this. I’m almost at the end of my rope as it is and considering I was c/t after 10 plus years of use I fear I’m going to be an extreme case like that. I don’t know how you did it but that’s incredible you fought though. Hoping I can do the same as you know its really hard.
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I just came across this and while it’s awesome you got better (congrats!) damn seeing the 12 years distresses me. I’m 2 years out and still in agony I can’t imagine 10 more years of this. I’m almost at the end of my rope as it is and considering I was c/t after 10 plus years of use I fear I’m going to be an extreme case like that. I don’t know how you did it but that’s incredible you fought though. Hoping I can do the same as you know its really hard.

 

 

and while i have a similar experience in doing a cold turkey after ten years of use -- and i am a pretty severe case -- this does not mean that everyone will be a severe or lengthly protracted case as i have even seen people who have done slow and sensible tapers who become protracted and a seemingly severe case. this does not mean at all that everyone will take this long.

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Hello friends,

 

I just thought I would drop in and give a little update to my story, and to share a little advice that may help some of you who are still suffering with this temporary bullshit (the people who say permanent haven't given it enough time).

 

One thing I must first say is.. that if you are just a few months or a few years into this process of healing, looking at my story will not help you at all. When I first came off ativan, I did the exact same thing. I read horror stories all over the internet and it only made things much, much, worse for me. I had to learn to cultivate a mind that ignored all the negative messages that my drug ravaged brain was sending me. This was not easy at first, and it did not happen overnight.. I had to work very hard at it. Do the same for yourself because 'YOU COULD HEAL TOMMOROW' and that is a proven fact!

 

I didn't write my story to scare newcomers into thinking that this will take 12 years. Chances are that in a very short time your brain will rewire itself and you will be better than ever.. as I am now. I wrote this story for the people out there at 6, 7, 8++ years and counting, to tell them that this ends, and to just hang in there.. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT! Professor Ashton told me in a letter "The good news is that people recover" Keep telling yourself that over and over in your darkest hours.

 

Since my own recovery, I have found a peace in my life that I never had before. I now appreciate everything good and bad that life has to offer me. Nothing bothers me at all anymore, and I live and love life to the fullest. This mindset was a gift that this awful drug induced horror has given me.. and I don't regret it, and wouldn't change it for the world.

 

 

Suffering and recovery can be a great gift, and I believe it means even more to us.. 'the super protracted'. please try to accept and embrace this thought.

 

 

Kind regards to all,

 

                            Mr. B

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sure appreciate you dropping back in to say hi and add a few more encouraging tidbits for folks like myself.  I'm really hopeful because of you that I too will get to be in that really good place that you describe, someday.  Thanks so much for coming back.  So VERY grateful for your success story, it's really the only one that has meaning and hope for me.

 

:mybuddy:

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i too am very appreciative of you dropping by and letting us know that:

 

(the people who say permanent haven't given it enough time).

 

 

really needed to hear that. i am 6 years and getting very worried of the possible permanency that this illness seems to tell me (us) so thank you Mr./Mrs. B! :)

 

 

 

 

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This is so very good to read!! Even though I'm "only 51 months out" what you've written has given me joy. There's too much talk about never being well, and I do get very discouraged. I'd much rather believe your words instead of others who aren't even done with this crap. Thank you so much, Mr. B!!!  :smitten:
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Good to hear from you ms b. I’m almost over the 4 year mark with zero relief but I’m still here.

 

Your friend in Laguna Beach

 

Bruce

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Mr./Mrs. B!

 

 

i hope you see this post. i am interested to know if you ever had any of the neuropathy/numbness in the limbs/feet/legs or anywhere else?

 

thanks, Pretty

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Just wanted to thank you for your most recent post.  I just passed the seven-year mark, and after a recent long and difficult wave, my current baseline is the best it has been since this illness began a very long time ago.  I am not healed, but definitely getting better/closer to “normal.”  I have no problem with this process taking another 3-4 years.  Comforting to know that there are others that have taken a long time to heal.

 

Thanks again, glad you are well!

 

Rico

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Just wanted to thank you for your most recent post.  I just passed the seven-year mark, and after a recent long and difficult wave, my current baseline is the best it has been since this illness began a very long time ago.  I am not healed, but definitely getting better/closer to “normal.”  I have no problem with this process taking another 3-4 years.  Comforting to know that there are others that have taken a long time to heal.

 

Thanks again, glad you are well!

 

Rico

 

 

Rico,

 

this is great to hear! :) i am 6 years and nowhere near where i want to be. but i thought maybe it is a good sign that i am becoming extremely depressed that i am still unable to do and feel all the normalcy that i use to because before all i could do was just get through a day and all the symptoms but now i so long to just do all those normal things again. i sure hope that in another year i will have some major/good improvements.

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I'm coming up on 12 years benzo free. On may 5, 2005 I was cold turkeyed in the hospital. It was the most horrific and unforeseen event in my life and it has changed me as a human being forever. Slowly, very slowly over 1-5 benzo free years my symptoms waxed and waned until at 5 years benzo free my life was about 80% of what I was pre-benzo. Life was good but not great for a few months. The unrelenting horror, mental anguish and general displeasure for life had abated but the physical symptoms were still alive and well... just milder and I expected them to all abate as well as time marched on.

 

  At almost 6 years benzo free the flood gates reopened again and I was cast back into what I would call acute benzo withdrawal! It was just as bad as the beginning if not worse... as a matter of fact a lot worse! All the progress I made was suddenly gone and I was left a 40 year old man with a wife and two kids, a beautiful home crying on the floor with no hope for a future. It nearly broke me as a human being and I was ready to give up.

 

  Luckily I had tremendous support from the person I had been with my whole life...My loving wife. She knew me since high school and knew that this was not the man she married. Luckily she believed in me because I didn't and at 6 years I didn't think recovery was possible. I thought I had permanent brain damage from the ativan and I would never recover.

 

  My wife got busy and contacted many people on my behalf.  Una Corbett, Barry Haslam, Baylissa Frederick (Bliss), and even to professor Ashton herself! They 'ALL' said to my amazement 'HE WILL RECOVER' and 'THIS SOMETIMES HAPPENS'. She even made an account here to talk to people on my behalf (I was too unwell to post then). I'm Mr. B by the way!

 

  The symptoms were very hard up until 11 years benzo free and right now at almost 12 years benzo free my life is brilliant!!!  I can see the light again and feel love, joy, and happiness. I'm 47 years old and have a new lease on life and you will too. Please people believe in recovery...BELIEVE!!!

 

  It happens for 'EVERYBODY' given time and staying off  benzos and 'ALL' chemical crap!

 

  Mr. B

 

 

Dear Mr B - can you please give Mrs B the biggest hug ever from me? I am sooo happy that there is a couple who could manage to stay together and I am so happy for you, Mr. B that you have this wonderful warrior wife that did never give up on you. I am like her but sadly my boyfriend wasn't and I am the one suffering from wd.

But your story here shows me there are others like me, I wouldn't give up on my love no matter what.

Wonderful. I wish you 2 and your kids a bright future and the best things to happen. May your love last for ever and ever :smitten:

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This is great news Mr. B.  I have often worried and been scared the my brain will not come back and I will forever be brain damaged. 
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Thank you, Mr. B

 

Missing out on so much still makes me angry, yo.

 

Traveling, hiking, participating in community in a reliable way...whine, sob...

 

But thank you for posting your success story, man, and have a great rest-of-your-life :)

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Mr. B,

 

i hope you come back as i am really curious to know this:

 

 

Mr./Mrs. B!

 

 

i hope you see this post. i am interested to know if you ever had any of the neuropathy/numbness in the limbs/feet/legs or anywhere else?

 

thanks, Pretty

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  • 2 months later...
Holy Gophers - What is this diabolical stuff we've gotten into? 12 years is the Mt. Everest of time lines! Glad you came to such a happy ending of a truly harrowing episode! Nope, that's not for me - whether I could or not, I wouldn't. But that's just me. I'm at a mere 2 years and don't have another 10 years! At the dosage I was on and other 'stuff' that led me to OD in 2016, it's no wonder it's still, in some ways, getting worse. I guess I don't have an interest in dragging this tired shell around forever - I figure it's only a shell and hardly my actual 'self' if I may say so.There's no one left in my family, brother to suicide, job, career, car, income, a 5-bypass - what else can we through into it? Losing the last 2 cats is what the proverbial "last straw" point it came to. My ability to play music or even feel it anymore has all but dissipated, I mean - what the hell, I figure it is what it is!
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