Why can't I fall asleep?

I'm perplexed as to why I cannot seem to cross the bridge from lying still, eyes closed, relatively quiet mind to full unconscious sleep. I don't feel revved or particularly stressed, although, thinking about it later gives me a little bit of frustration. I run into this situation after the 6 hour point most nights, which would be between 5:30am and 6:30am. Also, any time during the day when I might try to take a nap I cannot convert to even "power nap" short sleep.

 

It feels like there is an iron gate across my eyebrows that holds me back. My Fitbit thinks I am asleep, because I am so still, but I most assuredly am not.

 

It was not always this way. Is this likely a benzo issue as I am in a slow taper? Is it possible that I my 6-6.5 hours is my new normal and my body just doesn't need any more? I don't want to wind up stressing about nothing.

Most here in this sub-forum would be ecstatic to get 6 to 61/2 hours of sleep a night! That is totally livable, nothing to sneeze at. Not being able to take a nap is also extremely common (I've taken maybe 2 naps in the last year, both when very sleep-deprived).

 

Don't worry so much, you are doing fine. It is great you can just lie there and be relaxed, so enjoy it, fool the fitbit.

Thanks meowie, I neglected to say in my post that I had been working back from months of 1-2.5 hours per night for the last 4-5 months of 2016 and then 3.5-4 hours most of January. February got me to a regular 6 hours. But that's where it basically stopped. Most of the improvement due to long taper holds, strict sleep hygiene, diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, regular exercise etc. But, that's where it has hit a wall.

 

I should note that the 6+ hours is always broken at around 3.5-4 hours and for the last 5-6 weeks I have been able to fall back asleep for another 2 hours. I am now at 1.75mg lorazepam at bedtime and tapering slowly from there.

 

I'll count my blessings that I got to this point. As my night time dose decreases, it will be interesting to see if things fall back.

 

 

I started daily liquid tapering in the middle of January of this year, and now I am at 7.62 ml from 1mg. I was doing great in my sleep 5-6 hours (I am very functional on that amount believe or not); but in the last two weeks, insomnia is creeping back and I am having a hard time falling asleep and sleeping only 4 hours. I do try to follow a sleep schedule, and when I wake up in the middle of the night, I also stay in bed but I start listening to some meditation music, and allows me to go back to sleep most of the time. I am thinking about changing the colors in my room for my bedspread, drapes, and wall to a more soft, pastel, relaxing color as color therapist recommend; also, I have a friend who is an aromatherapist, and I am thinking buying a diffuser. I use  a lavender candle, and that really soothes me. I am learning that  It really takes a synergy of factors to induce sleep. Unfortunately, I have to leave my cat out of the room now because she could be kind of annoying with her hyper personality, and it is better for me.

I never had to think about any of the 'factors' that impact falling and staying asleep. That went out the window with the issues (extra stressors) that hit me September-December of last year. Now, with a taper that has gone from daily 4.5mg lorazepam to now 2.25mg, I have a whole process around sleep management and lifestyle.

 

My issue is rarely being able to fall asleep. It is/was getting back to sleep after the first wake up 3.5 hours in. After 5:30am it's hopeless or any other time during daytime. I used to sleep like a rock on airplanes almost immediately after buckling in. No longer.

 

I am learning about how much sleep I 'need' vs. how much I 'want'. 6-6.5 hours is the edge of good/decent for my activity level. So that gives me what I 'need' (for the moment), but I want more...... and certainly want to avoid getting less

I didn't catch that you were still tapering--you're doing great for where you are at! My nights are always segmented also. I have a large stack of books to pick from and get a lot of reading done in the middle of the night. (Right now it's mainly Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers--great book but not ideal as it is about stress!).

I know that you're in your own version of "pain", but you are fine. Compared to the rest of us, you have nothing to complain about. Accept where you're at. Many of us barely sleep at all, night after night.

I would cut off both my f'n legs to get 6 hrs a night. I get 6 hrs every 7 days

I am sorry for the pain that you and any others are feeling right now as you struggle with sleep issues. I recently dealt with 4 months of 1 or 2 hours per night of crappy "sleep" and have been fortunately able to claw back. I can certainly see that I am better off (at the current moment) than many of the other posters in this sub group. I started this thread with a question to the insomnia sub-group about, basically, if my experience fits the pattern of benzo w/d, and how to set my expectations for the road ahead as my taper progresses.

 

My thanks for the insights provided.