Alcoholism During Taper

I feel this must be a major roadblock to recovery and I think it deserves a support group...hey even if it's just me talking to myself.

 

I didn't want to look for sympathy over and over on the main forum as it seems this is not a major side effect for most. I feel it has to be for some so I think a place to help each other through this might be helpful. Call me desperate and lonely but that is where I am at.

 

Klonopin activated my alcoholism. Being my third taper off Klonopin I know this because I have no desire for the evil booze when I'm off it.

 

I know what's going on, my mind s trying to bridge the gap as alcohol is the same as benzos. I also have alcoholism in my family which means I'm primed and ready for it.

 

My taper has been stalled because I binge drink, very dangerous I know. Counterproductive at the highest level as I often take my full dose during hangovers. I can't make it past 4 days without drinking.

 

I went back to AA and while it's a beautiful program I could no longer gain from it and I had bad trouble. No discouragement twords AA, they got me sober for 4 years and off my first round of A huge amount of Benzos. I can't thank the women that helped me enough. It's a great program but does not address my issues now. It's a wonderful support network if you can find some support with Benzos. I was fortunate to find sponsors who had experience with them. granted one was on Ativan and was very defensive of me coming back off Benzos.

 

Anyways my alcoholism has returned in full force after 5 years sober ( while off Klonopin ). As soon as I hit 4mg to 2.5 my cravings became uncomfortable. I'm fighting two battles now and it's unbearable. I can only string 3 days together and take extra Kpin when I'm hungover. I'm spinning my wheels.

 

I'm hoping anyone who is having this trouble can offer support and I can do the same. I don't see this issue addressed much and maybe this group will help. I appreciate any replies 

Anyone? I feel really lonely in this place I'm in. I just can't get a grip on this. My panic attacks are extreme now and it's horrible.

Here's my thoughts.

I think you should focus on just one issue at at a time. For now I would look to getting your drinking in order and put the benzo taper on the back burner. Simplify so to speak. And when ready, then resume the benzo taper.

The alchohol is probably a major contributor to your panic attacks.

 

 

Here's my thoughts.

I think you should focus on just one issue at at a time. For now I would look to getting your drinking in order and put the benzo taper on the back burner. Simplify so to speak. And when ready, then resume the benzo taper.

The alchohol is probably a major contributor to your panic attacks.

 

Thank you, that is what I'm going to do. Not reinstate but not even consider a drop until the craving subside. Alcohol is the bigger evil in my book. It's a catch 22. When off Klonopin my cravings disappear but I can't rush to get there or I'll be worse off than I started.

I have a beer every other night or so, it's the only thing that helps when my pit in the stomach anxiety is bad.

That's great if you can keep it to a minimum, but there's an old saying when it comes to alcoholics.

 

1 drink is too many, and 100 isn't enough.

1-2 beers helps me anymore than that hurts me. I now know 100% my symptoms are from benzos and not Lyme disease. When I feel horrible I drink 1 beer and 95% of the time my symptoms fade to the background.  I will say that earlier in wd drinking would help me in the short run and hurt me in the long run but over the last year that has changed, if you drink start with just a beer or less and wait a good week before having another, a lot of people will disagree with this but everyone is different.

Here's my thoughts.

I think you should focus on just one issue at at a time. For now I would look to getting your drinking in order and put the benzo taper on the back burner. Simplify so to speak. And when ready, then resume the benzo taper.

The alchohol is probably a major contributor to your panic attacks.

 

Thank you, that is what I'm going to do. Not reinstate but not even consider a drop until the craving subside. Alcohol is the bigger evil in my book. It's a catch 22. When off Klonopin my cravings disappear but I can't rush to get there or I'll be worse off than I started.

 

So if I'm understanding you correctly, your craving for alcohol is gone once you are off Klonopin?

 

I would think it would be the opposite, as benzos are usually prescribed for people quitting alcohol.

Here's my thoughts.

I think you should focus on just one issue at at a time. For now I would look to getting your drinking in order and put the benzo taper on the back burner. Simplify so to speak. And when ready, then resume the benzo taper.

The alchohol is probably a major contributor to your panic attacks.

 

Thank you, that is what I'm going to do. Not reinstate but not even consider a drop until the craving subside. Alcohol is the bigger evil in my book. It's a catch 22. When off Klonopin my cravings disappear but I can't rush to get there or I'll be worse off than I started.

 

So if I'm understanding you correctly, your craving for alcohol is gone once you are off Klonopin?

 

I would think it would be the opposite, as benzos are usually prescribed for people quitting alcohol.

 

The same happened with me.  My alcohol cravings were awful while I was suffering tolerance withdrawal symptoms, but are nonexistent now.  I thought I had a serious drinking issue, but it was the K all along.  There has been no point in my taper or recovery that was as hellish as that time -suffering symptoms without understanding why, gulping down straight vodka to tame the inner torment. Horrible.

 

 

 

 

Totally agree this would be a need to address one issue at a time with the benzos and alcohol. Obviously the alcohol first. I tried tapering and was off Klonopin for 2 years but drank and never recovered/healed bc I drank a good bit of the time off and on and it absolutely did not work at all for me.. One year taper and two years off tried drinking at multiple points and all I did was end up on Klonopin again and drank on it for another 4 years straight. Save yourself a family if you have one and more suffering and try and get the drinking under control. I quit a year ago (also was in AA for years prior) just straight up and best move I've ever made and the lower I get on the benzos sober the actual healing has happened. While drinking it was hell 24/7. Hope you can make it. No joke, toughest thing I'll ever go through.

Here's my thoughts.

I think you should focus on just one issue at at a time. For now I would look to getting your drinking in order and put the benzo taper on the back burner. Simplify so to speak. And when ready, then resume the benzo taper.

The alchohol is probably a major contributor to your panic attacks.

 

Thank you, that is what I'm going to do. Not reinstate but not even consider a drop until the craving subside. Alcohol is the bigger evil in my book. It's a catch 22. When off Klonopin my cravings disappear but I can't rush to get there or I'll be worse off than I started.

 

So if I'm understanding you correctly, your craving for alcohol is gone once you are off Klonopin?

 

I would think it would be the opposite, as benzos are usually prescribed for people quitting alcohol.

 

The same happened with me.  My alcohol cravings were awful while I was suffering tolerance withdrawal symptoms, but are nonexistent now.  I thought I had a serious drinking issue, but it was the K all along.  There has been no point in my taper or recovery that was as hellish as that time -suffering symptoms without understanding why, gulping down straight vodka to tame the inner torment. Horrible.

 

I know these exact feelings and have noticed and found the exact same for myself. Absolutely insane when you really put it all together. Scary.

Exactly the same boat I'm in,I starred drinking heavily around 11 years ago and would get withdrawal anxiety when I wasn't drinking, that's what drove me to the doc in the first place for my"anxiety disorder" I never knew anything about alchohol withdrawal back then,anyways that doctor prescribed me klonopin and I've been on it for 10 years now,I can stay sober for months at a time but when my klono taper gets lower I get anxious, freak out and binge drink! End up taking my full 1 mg for a week then tapering and then its the same old song and dance again and again, thanks for starting this thread

While I'm glad I'm not alone I'm still fell glad I'm not alone. I've seen Klonopin has been the worst for alcohol cravings. I've had some nasty messages from AA supporters which I know is indoctrinated in the program as the 12th step. I don't feel I fit there now and I can't dodge the hard core people so I looked to cancel my account. I kinda regret bringing this topic up from the slack I'm getting for what a horrible mess I am to my family. Some people try to use tough love but that does not really work on those with messed up glutamate, cortisol, epinephrine, etc etc. If my body was balanced alcohol would not be on my mind. Anyone else feel Benzos caused the problem and a life without them would also be a life without alcohol? I can't think it's coincidence I only crave alcohol on Benzos.

While I'm glad I'm not alone I'm still fell glad I'm not alone. I've seen Klonopin has been the worst for alcohol cravings. I've had some nasty messages from AA supporters which I know is indoctrinated in the program as the 12th step. I don't feel I fit there now and I can't dodge the hard core people so I looked to cancel my account. I kinda regret bringing this topic up from the slack I'm getting for what a horrible mess I am to my family. Some people try to use tough love but that does not really work on those with messed up glutamate, cortisol, epinephrine, etc etc. If my body was balanced alcohol would not be on my mind. Anyone else feel Benzos caused the problem and a life without them would also be a life without alcohol? I can't think it's coincidence I only crave alcohol on Benzos.

 

I quit drinking a year ago when I started tapering and have found that after I realized the alcohol cravings were to subside my klonopin withdrawal it really made sense. There aren't cravings anymore now. Purely a whole hearted desire to be off benzos. I tried tapering and drinking years ago and failed. If all I have to do is continue to taper slowly and not drink alcohol ever to not be dependent on benzos ...I'm perfectly fine with it, sign me up!

Hi there,

 

Found some people here similar to me I see.  Similar but not the same.  My alcoholism (AUD) is only tamed by Diazepam.  Every time I taper diazepam I end up in relapse.  Over the last 5 years its been a seesaw of diazepam and alcohol.  Straight vodka or high octane beer if the wife found my bottles.  The bad, dangerous parts were when they overlapped each other.  I'm not sure your situations but I have done the detox off alcohol many times and the taper off Clonazepam or Diazepam quite a few times.  Been in AA (not for me).  Been to rehabs.  As these methods haven't really been successful I've convinced doctors to try pharma approaches and with quite a bit of success.  We all know benzo's and alcohol touch on GABA A.  Its not that we are alcoholic or benzo specifically but we are GABA A down regulated.  Whether its a tease from taking benzo's or withdrawals from benzo's that triggers the other... for me, one supplants the other.  Read my intro if you want to see what I'm doing to address both.  I don't recommend it unless you are desperate like me to try anything to escape the trap of benzo's and alcohol.  I've studied a lot and most of it is Alcohol research as for some reason its left out of the equation for benzo's most of the time.  But for me the two seem intertwined chasing each other around.  I'm at 5 months, nearly 6 sober from Alcohol with a 1 week lapse (I got angry).  I know I know, if you slip you are supposed to start over counting but I've let the institutionalized rigidity of AA go and deal with shame my own ways now.  Either way I think its scientific more than anything.

Hi there,

 

Found some people here similar to me I see.  Similar but not the same.  My alcoholism (AUD) is only tamed by Diazepam.  Every time I taper diazepam I end up in relapse.  Over the last 5 years its been a seesaw of diazepam and alcohol.  Straight vodka or high octane beer if the wife found my bottles.  The bad, dangerous parts were when they overlapped each other.  I'm not sure your situations but I have done the detox off alcohol many times and the taper off Clonazepam or Diazepam quite a few times.  Been in AA (not for me).  Been to rehabs.  As these methods haven't really been successful I've convinced doctors to try pharma approaches and with quite a bit of success.  We all know benzo's and alcohol touch on GABA A.  Its not that we are alcoholic or benzo specifically but we are GABA A down regulated.  Whether its a tease from taking benzo's or withdrawals from benzo's that triggers the other... for me, one supplants the other.  Read my intro if you want to see what I'm doing to address both.  I don't recommend it unless you are desperate like me to try anything to escape the trap of benzo's and alcohol.  I've studied a lot and most of it is Alcohol research as for some reason its left out of the equation for benzo's most of the time.  But for me the two seem intertwined chasing each other around.  I'm at 5 months, nearly 6 sober from Alcohol with a 1 week lapse (I got angry).  I know I know, if you slip you are supposed to start over counting but I've let the institutionalized rigidity of AA go and deal with shame my own ways now.  Either way I think its scientific more than anything.

Wow powerful message and so much of what I think we are all going through. Benzos led to alcoholism. Alcohol even in small amounts equals what our body craves..gaba..our minds can outsmart us and find the nearest legal option....legal option of death☠️

I started drinking first,however it didn't escalate to daily drinking until I started Zoloft,while on it I had bad anxiety so I'd drink to kill the anxiety,stopped the Zoloft and eventually got control of the drinking somewhat but I think the klono taper adds stress that lead me to binge here and there,I'm really not sure

I started drinking first,however it didn't escalate to daily drinking until I started Zoloft,while on it I had bad anxiety so I'd drink to kill the anxiety,stopped the Zoloft and eventually got control of the drinking somewhat but I think the klono taper adds stress that lead me to binge here and there,I'm really not sure

Agreed I was a normal drinker, 2-3 drinks at most, never got drunk really. I liked girly drinks and fun drinks. When I started Klonopin there was no joy in drinking, it feels out of desperation of withdrawal. The only plus is when I level out the urges decrease, but I have so many cuts ahead. It's a battle of the body and mind.

I'm actually surprised that there aren't more people cross addicted on here,that a good thing though,I always say I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy (well maybe my worst haha)

I'm actually surprised that there aren't more people cross addicted on here,that a good thing though,I always say I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy (well maybe my worst haha)

 

I think alcohol related to Benzos is not a topic people want to touch because of the deadly possibilities of the mix. It is still an issue and I think if more people talked about the connection there may be some awareness. You can see it time and again in stories of celebrities and their addictions. If something bad happens it's typically poly drug use with a Benzo and alcohol. I hate Klonopin for activating this in me, not saying something else might have in the future. I just know it's part of the equation and something I fight almost daily. I have some good stints of clearness but it always comes back when I have bad sxe multiple days in a row. Today is a tough day for me as I have had IBS for a week and have been in so much pain.

 

My husband is home which is good because I have really horrible terror attacks when home alone. I'm such a shut in because of agoraphobia that I have no friends to visit me. My dad stops by once and awhile but  I don't want him to know alcohol is even on my mind so I don't talk about it. He has had enough of it in his lifetime.

 

I'm thinking of inventing an imaginary friend. I hear it's a thing on reddit. I'm joking, but not really. Ok I'm not joking.

Exactly the same boat I'm in,I starred drinking heavily around 11 years ago and would get withdrawal anxiety when I wasn't drinking, that's what drove me to the doc in the first place for my"anxiety disorder" I never knew anything about alchohol withdrawal back then,anyways that doctor prescribed me klonopin and I've been on it for 10 years now,I can stay sober for months at a time but when my klono taper gets lower I get anxious, freak out and binge drink! End up taking my full 1 mg for a week then tapering and then its the same old song and dance again and again, thanks for starting this thread

 

You literally have the same story as myself. That's exactly what was happening. I finally threw in the towel on the drinking and I'm fighting this taper full force, head on. I just cant take the withdrawal forever from benzos so I just had to out of being beaten down for so long back and forth. Just be thankful you didn't get prescribed 3 mgs a day of K off the bat like me. Doctors must have been handing it out like pez 10 years ago. Sad but feel your pain. Hope you can stick it out not drinking and getting off the benzos too.

Exactly the same boat I'm in,I starred drinking heavily around 11 years ago and would get withdrawal anxiety when I wasn't drinking, that's what drove me to the doc in the first place for my"anxiety disorder" I never knew anything about alchohol withdrawal back then,anyways that doctor prescribed me klonopin and I've been on it for 10 years now,I can stay sober for months at a time but when my klono taper gets lower I get anxious, freak out and binge drink! End up taking my full 1 mg for a week then tapering and then its the same old song and dance again and again, thanks for starting this thread

 

You literally have the same story as myself. That's exactly what was happening. I finally threw in the towel on the drinking and I'm fighting this taper full force, head on. I just cant take the withdrawal forever from benzos so I just had to out of being beaten down for so long back and forth. Just be thankful you didn't get prescribed 3 mgs a day of K off the bat like me. Doctors must have been handing it out like pez 10 years ago. Sad but feel your pain. Hope you can stick it out not drinking and getting off the benzos too.

 

Very similar to how It started for me too. I had no idea what tolerance withdrawal was and was on 6mg K and 3mg xanax all while drinking too. This is the first time I figured it out. I was pulling myself out of hangovers with the Benzos and when they wore off I drank. I was able to get off all of it in a year, than no alcohol for 5 years. My second taper was just 2mg xanax and because I got pregnant so alcohol wasn't on my mind. This third taper is hell! I'm drinking once a week and feeling like I'm spinning my wheels. Once a week sounds like nothing big but on Benzos it can make the whole week hell!

Hi there,

 

Found some people here similar to me I see.  Similar but not the same.  My alcoholism (AUD) is only tamed by Diazepam.  Every time I taper diazepam I end up in relapse.  Over the last 5 years its been a seesaw of diazepam and alcohol.  Straight vodka or high octane beer if the wife found my bottles.  The bad, dangerous parts were when they overlapped each other.  I'm not sure your situations but I have done the detox off alcohol many times and the taper off Clonazepam or Diazepam quite a few times.  Been in AA (not for me).  Been to rehabs.  As these methods haven't really been successful I've convinced doctors to try pharma approaches and with quite a bit of success.  We all know benzo's and alcohol touch on GABA A.  Its not that we are alcoholic or benzo specifically but we are GABA A down regulated.  Whether its a tease from taking benzo's or withdrawals from benzo's that triggers the other... for me, one supplants the other.  Read my intro if you want to see what I'm doing to address both.  I don't recommend it unless you are desperate like me to try anything to escape the trap of benzo's and alcohol.  I've studied a lot and most of it is Alcohol research as for some reason its left out of the equation for benzo's most of the time.  But for me the two seem intertwined chasing each other around.  I'm at 5 months, nearly 6 sober from Alcohol with a 1 week lapse (I got angry).  I know I know, if you slip you are supposed to start over counting but I've let the institutionalized rigidity of AA go and deal with shame my own ways now.  Either way I think its scientific more than anything.

 

At this moment I have never felt so desperate! Since my last post I binged 2 days straight. I can't keep doing this but the compulsion is so strong. I'm going to try to find your bio, as I'm willing to try anything to get through this and I feel I'm failing at every turn.

Wow. What an interesting thread. I went from being a moderate drinker to a heavy one while on benzos (klonopin/clonazapam). My drinking escalated when I hit what I now know was dependence. I got very sick while in tolerance, and gave up drinking c/t. Ironically, the k probably supported me. When I started to taper from k I was put on gabapentin. I had the worst alcohol cravings. I'd never had them before and I had them at times I never drank. Of course the docs labelled me an alcoholic. I found AA meetings unhelpful  to say the least. Those stories really were not mine. My cognitive behavioral therapist does not believe I am an alcoholic, although I was self medicating to a dangerous degree.  She believes anxiety is my disorder. Interesting to read that although benzos are used to treat alcoholism, for some  of us it caused us to drink more heavily. I am guessing that it is because as we became dependent and then tolerant of the benzos, we had rebound anxiety.

Wow. What an interesting thread. I went from being a moderate drinker to a heavy one while on benzos (klonopin/clonazapam). My drinking escalated when I hit what I now know was dependence. I got very sick while in tolerance, and gave up drinking c/t. Ironically, the k probably supported me. When I started to taper from k I was put on gabapentin. I had the worst alcohol cravings. I'd never had them before and I had them at times I never drank. Of course the docs labelled me an alcoholic. I found AA meetings unhelpful  to say the least. Those stories really were not mine. My cognitive behavioral therapist does not believe I am an alcoholic, although I was self medicating to a dangerous degree.  She believes anxiety is my disorder. Interesting to read that although benzos are used to treat alcoholism, for some  of us it caused us to drink more heavily. I am guessing that it is because as we became dependent and then tolerant of the benzos, we had rebound anxiety.

 

I really have no doubt the 2 are connected. I'm not sure if it's just a Klonopin thing or all brands. I was in AA for a year and the program itself did not help but just the supportive people because I was so lonely. I also sat through the stories and none of them felt like mine either. My drinking was an unfortunate coping mechanism due to a horrible drug.I remember what I would call the "witching hours" where I would have interdose withdrawal daily and crave alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I became alcohol dependent and was no better than anyone there, just couldn't share my story as it was against the rules to discuss things other than alcohol. My sponsor was on Ativan so while she listened she got tired of the talk real soon. I felt like an outsider very often.