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Complete healing from a Klonopin cold turkey!


[Pa...]

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Hello everyone,

 

I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful comments, well wishes and personal stories.  I know how important it is to read the words of those who have healed, I did the same thing.  I recently passed my 5 year mark benzo free, and the thing I found most interesting was not that I'd made it, but that it came and went without me remembering it.  The horror has faded and it's just a distant memory. 

 

Intellectually, I can remember what I went through, but my body can no longer recall the agony of it all, and for this I'm grateful.  I remember enough to stay away from benzo's, but I don't have any PTSD or lingering symptoms of the process.

 

I haven't been coming to the forum because it was time for me to move on, to fully embrace my new life, but I think of you all, and hope you're helping each other.  BenzoBuddies was a lifesaver for me; it helped me to know I wasn't crazy, even when everyone in my life thought I was.  The acceptance and support I received here was so important, and I'm gratified to see this place still going strong.  I hope you'll all continue to help one another through this process, each and every one of you have the power to help someone else just by being a member. 

 

I feel gratitude for the good health, both physical and emotional I now enjoy, and for the life I have, I thought I'd lost it.  I'm grateful to Colin for creating and continuing to maintain this wonderful site, and for the countless BenzoBuddies I met during my time here.  I'm grateful for the members who step up to help out moderating and managing BenzoBuddies, and of course the contributing members who reach out to help those who need it the most.

 

Thank you again for being here for me when I needed you the most.

 

Pamster

 

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Pamster,  :)

 

I will remember you always.  You are a very special lady, who unselfishly helped so many people when they were hurting and confused.  You became their friend, and their inspiration when they were all alone in the world.  Your kindness has touched so many people.  Thank you for all that you have done.

 

The best to you always.

 

pj

 

 

       

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Pamster,

 

We all miss you so much and are so thrilled to hear how well you're doing. I'm glad you have moved on with your life and that you're completely healed.

 

Thank you for everything you've done for this forum. I've learned everything I know from you.

 

Don't be a stranger. We love you. :smitten:

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Pamster - so glad to hear that you are doing so well....I will always remember your wise words to me.....you were my "go to" person when I was desperate.  thank you so much for being there for me.  I'm still struggling at two years out now....I remember back at 4 months off and I wanted so badly to go back on the Klonopin.  I can't believe I'm still here dealing with this crap, but you kept me from reinstating and I am so grateul......best of everything to you Pam

Hoping2BFree

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thank you pam for writing your post I took klonipin for 8 yrs and before I was on ativan for 9.  I am down to valium 1mg sick as hell but it is posts like yours that give me hope I will get my life back.  I became unable to work by 2007 after 22 yrs of nursing as a RN  I worked hard for my degree and I look forward to the day I can return to the workplace.  I look forward to the day I can live in peace, with no anxiety or fear, no pain, no sickness.  feel love and joy again.  I have lost just about everything thanks to his drug, and I became a person I did not recognize.  I am healing slowly but it is a hell of a ride so many days I give up hope and think I will be sick for the rest of my life
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Hello Dear Pam,

 

It was so good to see your post!  I am happy that you are still enjoying your life healed and that you body can't even remember the horrors of your post C/T time.  I'm so glad for you.  How awesome to simply not remember your 5 year Free Day Anniversary!  Now that is a good thing!  *smiliing*

 

I think of you often and wonder if you are still working with animals in need of their forever homes.  I still think I may be involved with that as heal comes.  Thank you for all you have done for them.   

 

Thank you for your help to me when I first started my taper.  It was such a confusing time and your guidance made it much more easier for me and for my husband, too!  I did make it to freedom and now at 7 weeks off I am seeing some gradual heal settling in.  It's not fast but is coming and that is enough!

 

May you receive back into your life the gifts you have generously given to so many others.  I will always remember you.  Thanks again.

 

Love to you,

:smitten:

Lily

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Pamster,

sorry, this is late, but CONGRATS!!

I wish you and yours all the best with your new life and don't be a stranger!

Your experiences are very helpful for everyone.

 

Thanks,

Mrtmeo

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Pamster,

I am trying to read success stories to help me be more positive. I chose yours because you too did a CT.

    Your story is inspiring to me, a ray of hope in the gloom. Thank you for being open and honest. I am not sure who I even AM without benzos...30 years of them for me. But am beginning to be less afraid of finding that person. Thank you so much.

                                                                            eastcoast

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Dear Pam,

I will always remember you. For you were the first person who helped me when I needed it the most. When I found BB ,You were there to help my dosages and I appreciate all of your support throughout my taper. You are an angel in my book.  Im forever grateful to you. HoneyM  :smitten:

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pam you were the main big dog on here when i came in 19 months ago;  you were so cool and kind to me; and even kept me from re-instating one time.  thanks for your service on here.  still struggling dang it all;  takes what it takes i guess.xoxo
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  • 1 year later...
  • 5 years later...

Pamster, WOW... tearing up writing this. I'm SO happy for you. I also CT'd Klonopin and am about a year out and have healed almost entirely too. Will be writing my success story soon, I believe sometime over this next year. Thank you for sharing, I hope that you continue to come back and provide support/hope to others.

 

na-

  :smitten:

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Thank you for bumping my success story Morreweg, it's been years since I read this and neoapostle, I teared up too, I'm happy to hear you're doing so well.  Please do share your story when you can, it's so important for others to have hope.  As I read my story I remembered the pain but thankfully I can no longer feel it, and for that I'm so grateful. 

 

I hope my story offers hope to everyone still suffering.

 

Pamster

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Hello, your story is amazing and I am wondering if anyone can help me and give me some direction.

 

I screwed up on my taper and do not know what to. After being put on and off multiple meds, and c/t off most of them after no results in eluding Ativan, I restarted previous prescribed Klonopin in late May, which was not helping after a month, so I quickly reducing .75 mg K to .5o k, then switched from .65 K and 5 mg V for 1 week and then dropped k and did 8 mg of V and started 1 mg taper per 7 to 10 days, tapered it down to 5mg while experiencing multiple symptoms and have been feeling awful!! I thought since I was only on the K short term ( all together over 3 months this run) I would be able to taper off fast.  ended updating 1 mg of V for 3 weeks the did not help. I am now getting micro sleeps, waking in sweats, bladder retention/issues, headaches, flu symptoms and more and I'm still on this poison. Idk if I should swathe back to Klonopin after 2 months or just suffer and try to keep tapering down?

 

Any suggestions would be a life saver!

 

Best! mdv

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thank you so much for writing this! You have given me hope! I have been on 2-6mg of Klonopin for the last 20 plus years. Started out at .5mg and then gradually increased over the years. I don't take it every day. It was prescribed for panic attacks and anxiety. I do take it at least every other day and sometimes it's 2mg and other times its 4mg to sleep which only lasts 3 hours before I wake up. I know I have to take some every other day to avoid awful withdrawal symptoms but desperately want to get off of it. I am seeing a psychiatrist who is working with me to try and taper off but he has also said that I may have to take it forever. I sure hope that is not true. I know it has worsened my depression, my mood and just my general joy for life. Your story is encouraging and I am hoping I will one day be sharing that I too was able to get off this horrible drug and see the beautiful colors of life again!
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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...
[a6...]

Thank you for sharing this!!!

It gives me hope that there are better days, and probably even better than before the meds because I surly appreciate life more than I did before this all happened. You are a strong person!!!

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[45...]
This is really inspiring. I wonder if the rockstar was Stevie Nicks. Love her and Fleetwood Mac. Either way you are a rockstar in your own right for getting through this the way you did and giving hope to others. <3
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wow inspiring. So brave of you. that mustve of been torture but that you were able to tough it out shows how strong you are. Great story for all of us to know that there is hope
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  • 1 month later...

Thank you.

 

I'm 67 and afraid I won't survive this. I don't have the several years that I keep reading it takes which  depresses me deeply. Is this how I will spend my last years. Alone and such pain. That is not close to quality of life. I wont ever go back to benzo (or any other meds for that matter) but caring for myself has been the biggest struggle in my life and I've overcome several traumatic events. I'm so bone weary. Is there anyway of predicting recovery timetable?

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