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Complete healing from a Klonopin cold turkey!


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Pam,

 

What a journey! You went from the lowest point in the valley, to the top of the mountain.

 

You are the best! You are such an inspiration and pillar of strength. To give of yourself in such an unselfish manner, and expecting nothing in return, shows us what a true and genuine person you are. What a fine example you present for others to follow.

 

You have made it possible for so many people to climb out of the dark and scary place, through no fault of their own, they found themselves in, and through your kindness, have helped them find a new, and drug free life.

 

pj  :)

 

 

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I'm so happy for you, Pamster!

 

It's already been said many times, but you really are an inspiration to all of us.  I have so much more confidence in myself by hearing stories like your own.  Thank you for your guidance through my own journey and I can only hope that I can give back to this board as much as you have in helping others.

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Pam,

 

What a journey! You went from the lowest point in the valley, to the top of the mountain.

 

You are the best! You are such an inspiration and pillar of strength. To give of yourself in such an unselfish manner, and expecting nothing in return, shows us what a true and genuine person you are. What a fine example you present for others to follow.

 

You have made it possible for so many people to climb out of the dark and scary place, through no fault of their own, they found themselves in, and through your kindness, have helped them find a new, and drug free life.

 

pj  :)

 

 

 

Pamster I am here to today to tell you thank you for your help and support alway's  Would love to know how you feel these days.  Are you having any joy in your life right now...How about peaceful days...

Have not spoken to you in awhile... Thinking of you today.

Luv

Mishi

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Pam,

 

What a journey! You went from the lowest point in the valley, to the top of the mountain.

 

You are the best! You are such an inspiration and pillar of strength. To give of yourself in such an unselfish manner, and expecting nothing in return, shows us what a true and genuine person you are. What a fine example you present for others to follow.

 

You have made it possible for so many people to climb out of the dark and scary place, through no fault of their own, they found themselves in, and through your kindness, have helped them find a new, and drug free life.

 

pj  :)

 

 

 

Pamster would like to add one more thing to yu... You are an inspiration to all of us here... I am happy for your new life  lots of luck your way.

luv,'

Mishi

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Pamster,

The site won't let me on- it is telling me I have the incorrect password- I just wanted to stay connected with you and check in now & then and sometime when I am healed, I'd like to come back and post my success story.

I wanted to know if you got to see BUCK- what an inspiration!!

 

I hope this message reaches you-

 

I think of you every day.

 

Your cold turkey buddie,

 

Kim

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  • 3 weeks later...

Pam,

 

What a journey! You went from the lowest point in the valley, to the top of the mountain.

 

You are the best! You are such an inspiration and pillar of strength. To give of yourself in such an unselfish manner, and expecting nothing in return, shows us what a true and genuine person you are. What a fine example you present for others to follow.

 

You have made it possible for so many people to climb out of the dark and scary place, through no fault of their own, they found themselves in, and through your kindness, have helped them find a new, and drug free life.

 

pj  :)

 

 

 

I was just told that you are wonderful.. I think so too.. Wanting to know how you are feeling today Just wanted you to know also that I am grateful for your help to me always to me take care

Luv

Mishi

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I have been so busy trying to find help and information, I am just now getting to other parts of the forum.  There isn't much I can add to  the wonderful things that have been said here.  Just know that you are encouraging and very much appreciated.

 

:smitten:

P11

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Pamster,

 

 

How are you doing?

 

I'm nearly 14 months out- still hanging in there.

 

Hoping to be doing a "Success Story" one of these days....

 

 

K

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pam

thanks for sharing your story. Fills me with hope. I cant imagine getting off of the amount you were on.

Glad you have your life back and that it is more sweet than ever.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dear Pam:

 

Your story is the one that gives me hope.  Our stories are very similar and we both cold-turkeyed.  Now, at 6 months off (with the exception of 1 week in June) I do not feel much further ahead, but my daughter and my therapist tell me that I am, so I guess I have to believe them.  I can make it through the next year, or whatever it takes, just to know that eventually I will get back to my pre-benzo self.

 

Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Jenn

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pamster,

It's 15 months now and though I am not in acute w/d, I am not a whole lot better either.

Checking in with you, I've stumbled across things I should have known existed, but didn't. I'm sorry I didn't realize that there are very sick and angry people out there who wish you harm. I'm sorry I posted the "brain damage from benzos" article from England- sure wish I could take it back. Even though I know lots of dangerous stuff exists on the web, but when one is overwhelmed with the agony of w/d, it's nearly impossible to be rational and keep things in perspective. I'm sorry if I said too many private things in PM mode- and sorry if I put you in any danger. I only wish good things for you.

I can't tell if my email address is hidden from the public - the box is checked on my profile- does it mean that only I can see it? The bb site is not accepting my password. This is the only way I can communicate with you. Please delete this if it is a problem.

I have two foster dogs and a foster kitten right now- they are adorable.

Hope you are well.

I am hanging in there.

k

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

I was on Klonopin for about 5 years, I took it on a as needed basis but as needed turned out to be quite often.  My dose at the end of my use was between 6 to 10 milligrams a day.  My behavior and personality had changed, I knew I had to stop so I did, on October 10, 2007.  I checked myself into a rehab facility on Oct 12, I was beginning to feel very ill.  They gave me 2 doses of Klonopin that day along with 2 doses of Phenobarbital, as I was told me there was a danger of seizure. That was the extent of my detox, I was to join the general population of the facility to learn the 12 steps the next day.  I knew nothing of benzodiazepines, didn't know they must be tapered, but somehow knew I was in trouble.  I checked myself out against medical advice that night with a prescription for 5 Phenobarbital in my pocket.  The next day I tried to find a Dr who could help me, but they all referred me to the facility I'd just left.  

 

Thus my nightmare began, one filled with unimaginable pain and agony.  The first days felt as if my internal organs were being shredded, I could only lay on my couch and writhe in pain.   As the days passed my extremities, all of my muscles were being twisted and shredded.  The pain was relentless accompanied by no sleep, nausea, trembling, twitching and the darkest, most fear filled thoughts I'd ever known.  I was too sick to research what was happening to me, I could only guess I'd been poisoned by the drug.  I made frantic calls to the facility I'd left, asking for help to understand what was happening to me.  They thought I was drug seeking, thought I wanted more Phenobarbital, I wasn't, I just wanted to know how to help myself.  

 

I finally got on the Internet after 3 weeks of torture and found an article about a rock star who'd withdrawn from Klonopin, she said it had taken her 45 days to heal from her nightmare.  I was disheartened, how could I endure this for 45 days.  But as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I finally found BenzoBuddies; 5 months after my cold turkey and learned the truth.  It isn't days, or weeks it's months before healing takes place.

 

I'm writing this story because I know the hopelessness you feel, I know the fear and the pain, but now I also know the joy of complete healing.  The relief I feel each day is something I'll always cherish.  I've returned to who I was before benzo's, but I'm so much better than I was then because I've learned a valuable lesson for which I will always be grateful.  I have joy in my life again, I can feel emotion and love. I know peace and relaxation, and I'm free from anxiety and fear.   I told myself I was completely healed at 14 months past my cold turkey, but I'm not sure that's true now because my life has continued to improve since that time.  I don't know if it's still healing from the Klonopin or if my gratitude to be well has given my life new meaning.  

 

I did this the hard way, I stopped cold turkey but this only proves that however you do it, whatever works for you, we call all heal from this.  Don't give up hope, it will happen for you too.

 

Pamster

 

 

Hi Pamster,

 

Can you tell me how long it took you to get to the point where you were feeling better after your cold turkey?  I know everyone is different but I need something to look forward to.  Were you able to work during this time?  I have to go on short term disability because I cannot think or remember things,  I cannot even follow simple instructions.  I cannot get my head around the fact that a LEGAL drug can do this to me!  I also cannot come to terms with the fact a doctor prescibed this to me and could not be bothered to tell me what would happen if I ever wanted or in my case needed to stop taking them. (I would not have taken them!)  I am shellshocked.  My job,  therefore my life is in jeapordy over a doctor's negligence.  Can you give me the benefit of your experience?

 

Thanks

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Pampster,

 

My goodness; it's awful the way you were treated at the facility and quite amazing how you continued to persevere. That you are still here encouraging us 'newbies,' is a blessing. I want to thank you also for sharing your story. If it weren't for these sites on the internet..I would be completely lost. My Dr. thinks benzos are no big deal, either she is ignorant or unethical..one or the other. These success stories give me hope.

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Pamster,

It's 15 months now and though I am not in acute w/d, I am not a whole lot better either.

Checking in with you, I've stumbled across things I should have known existed, but didn't. I'm sorry I didn't realize that there are very sick and angry people out there who wish you harm. I'm sorry I posted the "brain damage from benzos" article from England- sure wish I could take it back. Even though I know lots of dangerous stuff exists on the web, but when one is overwhelmed with the agony of w/d, it's nearly impossible to be rational and keep things in perspective. I'm sorry if I said too many private things in PM mode- and sorry if I put you in any danger. I only wish good things for you.

I can't tell if my email address is hidden from the public - the box is checked on my profile- does it mean that only I can see it? The bb site is not accepting my password. This is the only way I can communicate with you. Please delete this if it is a problem.

I have two foster dogs and a foster kitten right now- they are adorable.

Hope you are well.

I am hanging in there.

k

 

 

Hi pamster, How are you today? It has been a really long time since I heard from you.

Checking in on you and hoping you are enjoying life today

I contiune the journey still and hoping to give you a happy story one day

I thank you and everyone here for your support.

Take care

mishi

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Hi Pamster,

 

Just wanted to come by and say hello.  I also want to thank you for all your help when I first joined BB.  You are a special lady!

 

Take care,

NYClady

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...

Hi Pam,  I know the hell you went thru Pam.  I got so impaired on Klonipin I ended up in the hospital with a cold turkey withdrawal and put on phenobarbital too.  I was psychotic.  I have never been so ill.  so what did I do, I went back on it.  I didn't really understand at that time, what it was doing to my brain and body.  second time, cold turkey, psychosis again, tried to get off for 1 or 2 years reinstated.  Finally now, I am fighting and winning the battle.  I am sicker that I have ever been but my mind is coming back and I know that with time I will heal. 

 

Your story gives me so much hope.  I am very depressed that this happened to me and I so want to live now, but I can't because I am so sick.  I have lost 17 years and now, I feel like I am going to loose more time getting off.  It is so frustrating.  thank you for your story.  jackie m

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Hi Pam  I will always remember you.  I hope you are well.  Thanks so much for all you have done for us here.  May God bless you always.
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Pam,

Thank you so much for sharing your succes sstory.

it's almost the exact same thing i just went though. or EXACT! :smitten:

i've been on klonopin for over 10 years and i just got out of a detox center on 4/26/12. i left one day AMA with a prescription for phenobarbital.

i had taperd as best i could before going in. i had stopped all klonopin last Dec/2011 then switched to valium and could not taper less than 9mg. valium so had to go up to 20-30mg. valium and i was also on a lot of soma.

the night i went into my 6th detox i took 8mg.ativan and a handful of soma. about 5 tbas of the 350mg. soma.

they gave me phenobarbital. it was the cruelest detox i had ever endured and i've detox a lot over the last ten years.

when i got home my brain was spinning, vertigo for months, hallucination for months, went to ER on 5-7-12 because i was choking from my brain squeezing my neck back and literally choking me. i couldn't even talk because i was being choked. and i was burning up and i could see a blue fire inside my brain. and all the hallucinations were a blue fire.

and so much more.

i finally somehow got off everything including the phenobarbital on 5/18/12 with the exception of 20mg.valium to do a MRI procedure as i was so fearful that something happened to my brain. i was diagnosed with some slight brain damage and MS.

but i am healing now and this is only the middle of July. i can't believe it.

i just got on to the BB site 5 days ago. i had known about it when i got home from the hospital but had been too sick to go on the website or do anything.

i took a walk today and i drove.

i can't believe it!

i'm so grateful that i had this last fight in me.

now i still have to taper off of the suboxone and i'll be good to go.

 

Pam, i hope you will be able to read this!

Thank you so much again for sharing your story.

i hope that i will be able to do that too, even though i just kinda did. but it hasn't even been 3 months yet.

i am so dedicated to healing and healing my brain.

i found this wonderful Natrapath who's new obsession is healing the brain and i will be working with him.

now all i need is another window of normalcy.

prettydaisys from waves to windows

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