Complete healing from a Klonopin cold turkey!

[[Buddie]]

[...],

Reading your story today has helped me get through a sudden rough patch (after a 2 month window!). Just wanted to tell you you're still helping me.
Thanks for being in the world, my friend.

[...] 

[[Buddie]]

             
                                                                                                                     Thanks [...]!

                                                                                                                    You give us all [...]!


                                                                                                                           [...]

[[Buddie]]

♥ ♥ what a wonderful way to share your story and take the time to give this gift to others.....you are very special [...]
and i am glad you happened across my path on this benzo journey...you have been a light and a comfort ...[...] always~~[...] ♥ ♥

[[Buddie]]

Hi Pameeee!!! 

What a treasure to read your success story.  I especially liked how you described your misery in great detail.  I think it's important for folks to know just how BAD things can be, so they don't attribute the horrors of benzo w/d's to some "mysterious" illness, and keep searching for someone or something to fix it.  You show that the only true way off, is.....off. 

You're obviously admired, respected, and appreciated by many here at BB.  Including ME!!!   And I can honestly say that without your help and support here, I don't think I be as well off as I am today. 

[...]

[[Buddie]]

Hello [...],

[...] told me that you had posted your success story, and I think [...] told me about it, too.  I just now took the opportunity to read it, and all the responses that your buddies have given you.  I had to join in with all of them in sharing my gratitude to you, for being available day after day (night after night) to those of us who (thankfully) were led to this incredible website.  The many, many times that I kept doubting that klonopin withdrawal could REALLY be causing all of the symptoms I was (am) having...you would gently (but firmly), speak out of your own experience and tell me, "it is the klonopin".  I don't know what I would have done if I had not providentially discovered Benzobuddies. Were it not for you, and [...], and Theresa 2 (and many others) I would have been left absolutely hopeless and terrified, thinking that I was dying of an unknown ailment.

Your story is really very astounding to me.  First, I cannot believe someone could survive being made to cold turkey as you were.  I get angry when I think that anyone in the "medical" field would do this to someone and consider it humane treatment.  I am thankful that you have been able to come out of that experience without succumbing to bitterness and that you have seen the blessing that you can be to all of the others who enter into this experience with very [...] knowledge of what to expect.  You were such a help to me as I was trying to taper and when I couldn't think straight enough to figure it all out.

Thank you, [...], for all those volunteer hours spent helping just because you knew we needed help.  There are probably so many people (I am one of them) that can owe, in great part, our (coming) recovery to you. Your sacrificial hours spent helping all of us are paying off by not only helping us get well, but then in inspiring us to want to help the ones that come along behind us.

With much, much gratitude,
[...]

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for being who you are [...]. The smiling cat was the first good thing I remember form my early BB days. It was such a comfort and made me feel calm and looked after and less afraid. You were so quick to respond when one needed you. I am glad you are well and enjoying your life and I miss you.

[[Buddie]]

just read your success story [...] and I was feeling in my own way every twist and turn of the pain and misery you endured. I dont really know exactly what Clonazopam is so had a sneaky Wikipedia look and that was a whacking dose to come off. the equivilent of 60-100mg of Diazepam! My last big dose of Diazepam was 100 and it did nothing! Thats when I knew when I was in trouble. The all or nothing mentality as you know is something we share. I took an alcoholic Beverage at 17 and came to in a detox center at 27 with not a day missed when I would get as much as I could. Then the same with Benzo's although it took a lot longer to reach that point. so sorry, this is your story, not mine. You have been such a help and inspiration since I have known you and from reading your posts- to a lot of other people as well. I had the healing from drink eventually and like you it went well past the healed point into that 'new [...] and happiness' I had not known before. Your story reminds me that I can get there again and keep going this time. thankyou for being there for me [...].

[[Buddie]]

[...] - You're story is both couragous and scary at the same time. I'm happy for you for having all of that behind you. Right now I'm still getting over the ambien but I also have had 2 withdrawals periods from ativan. They were much tougher than my current ambien experience but after reading what you went through those don't even compare. If there's anything in your story that is truly encouraging it's that these nightmare's do end. Some just unfortunantly take a much longer time. I appreciate your kind words to me as well as what you have said for others.

[[Buddie]]

I was on Klonopin for about 3 years, I took it on a as needed basis but as needed turned out to be quite often.  My dose at the end of my use was between 6 to 10 milligrams a day.  My behavior and personality had changed, I knew I had to stop so I did, on October 10, 2007.  I checked myself into a rehab facility on Oct 12, I was beginning to feel very ill.  They gave me 2 doses of Klonopin that day along with 2 doses of Phenobarbital, as I was told me there was a danger of seizure. That was the extent of my detox, I was to join the general population of the facility to learn the 12 steps the next day.  I knew nothing of benzodiazepines, didn't know they must be tapered, but somehow knew I was in trouble.  I checked myself out against medical advice that night with a prescription for 5 Phenobarbital in my pocket.  The next day I tried to find a Dr who could help me, but they all referred me to the facility I'd just left. 
 
Thus my nightmare began, one filled with unimaginable pain and agony.  The first days felt as if my internal organs were being shredded, I could only lay on my couch and writhe in pain.   As the days passed my extremities, all of my muscles were being twisted and shredded.  The pain was relentless accompanied by no sleep, nausea, trembling, twitching and the darkest, most fear filled thoughts I'd ever known.  I was too sick to research what was happening to me, I could only guess I'd been poisoned by the drug.  I made frantic calls to the facility I'd left, asking for help to understand what was happening to me.  They thought I was drug seeking, thought I wanted more Phenobarbital, I wasn't, I just wanted to know how to help myself. 
 
I finally got on the Internet after 3 weeks of torture and found an article about a rock star who'd withdrawn from Klonopin, she said it had taken her 45 days to heal from her nightmare.  I was disheartened, how could I endure this for 45 days.  But as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I finally found BenzoBuddies; 5 months after my cold turkey and learned the truth.  It isn't days, or weeks it's months before healing takes place.
 
I'm writing this story because I know the hopelessness you feel, I know the fear and the pain, but now I also know the joy of complete healing.  The relief I feel each day is something I'll always cherish.  I've returned to who I was before benzo's, but I'm so much [...] than I was then because I've learned a valuable lesson for which I will always be grateful.  I have joy in my life again, I can feel emotion and love. I know [...] and relaxation, and I'm free from anxiety and fear.   I told myself I was completely healed at 14 months past my cold turkey, but I'm not sure that's true now because my life has continued to improve since that time.  I don't know if it's still healing from the Klonopin or if my gratitude to be well has given my life new meaning. 
 
I did this the hard way, I stopped cold turkey but this only proves that however you do it, whatever works for you, we call all heal from this.  Don't give up [...], it will happen for you too.
 
Pamster2
[/quote Wow [...] your story brought tears to my eyes, I am so happy you conquered thsi poision and you gave me [...] I can too, I am feeling the way you did back then saying how long can I hold on with these symptons 2 months seems to be a long way away, I am now 2 days over my 3rd week, it seems the days are taking years , there are days I just want to take a Clonozepam to to stop the anxiety  in which I never had before I went on these stupid drugs, I get scared every day feeling I am losing the battle, and thenwhen I read stories like yours I feel that there is [...], I was never good for waiting things out or having patience , I am a doer type of gal now , I need things done yesterday , I guess this will be a new skill I will acquire by learning to have patience and learning to wait..lol.. My systons doesn't seem as much tourcher as to what you have experienced although it did start that way when I quit c/t for 6 days that was extremly scary, but then I did a quick taper for only 12 days per Drs instructions , that sbefore I found any support, the first week was bad, but as days go on I feel sometimes I am doing good from what I read abt w/d, as my last post I had mentioned what I am experciening today , although its no comparrison to what others are suffering but to me my symptons I feel just as much suffering if that makes any sense. How long P am after you coming off the Benzo did you actually have managable symptons ? I have anxiety attacks that I never had in my life and I find it hard to deal with, and thank you for all your suggestions and advise I have beenapplying them when I have anxiety attacks, yesterday was the worse I think ,I just get scared abt permanent damage, as I was experciencing burning sensation around my female genitals, and I use to have muscle spasms in the pelvic area while I was on the drug, my Dr thought it was in my head , I was taking pain killers for the pain, it now has stopped since I am off the drug, except when intimate my pelvic muscles pains for days later, I am now avoiding intimacy , it takes a toll on our marriage, I am praaying my muscles there will get [...] on its own over time, and the burning sesation that seems to come and go now will end soon so that I can have a normal life and be a normal wife. Thank you for sharing your story. Have a miracle day.

Love
lAURA
XXXX

[[Buddie]]

[...], I have read your posts and messages to me but Im at 8 months now and at my lowest ever,  Any thoughts or messages would be appreciated, how can these be so bad with such a small dose and so far past being off this junk?

[...]