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DON'T LOSE HOPE, PRAY, & FIGHT!


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There are a lot of moments these days that I stand in wonder & awe at the goodness of God... this is one of those moments.

 

I came back to visit Benzo Buddies out of curiosity -- to perhaps look at some of my old posts and see how far this journey has brought me. As I sit here at this computer typing, I am absolutely amazed at how beautiful this road has become. I didn't plan on even writing anything, but I feel that it has now become a critical part of my recovery that I say something... anything... to give someone hope who may be exactly where I was some 2 1/2 years ago in my life.

 

I want to start by assuring you, IT DOES GET BETTER. There were times during my withdrawal that I truly feared for my life, and wondered if I would ever be a normal, functioning member of society again. There were times that I thought I would always be crazy and that I would never be able to have normal relationships with other people again. There were times that I thought I was so far gone that no one could possibly love me again and that I was destined to be a failure for the rest of my life. During benzo withdrawal, I've come to realize those are normal feelings. And it's okay to have them, and wrestle with them. Don't feel like you are abnormal in any way because of all of negativity and despair that you may feel.

 

That being said... it is imperative that you begin to remember and visualize the hope that still remains for your future. God has a wonderful plan for each and every one of us, even those of us that have been addicts and mental patients. He reminds us in Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Now I realize that this section of the Benzo Buddies forum isn't for religious posting, and that is not my intent. What I have just shared with you can simply be considered an insert from ancient literature that is meant to encourage you. I choose to stand on verses like this in the Bible that remind me of who I am and was created to be, and it has been a crucial part of my transformation and recovery process.

 

It is important that you know the TRUTH about yourself. You are an amazing person and are very deeply loved. You have people in this world that genuinely care for you and pray for you on a daily basis. You have a vibrant future and will soon begin to have experiences unlike anything you've had in the past. Those things that you've been praying and asking God for, they will soon be realized in your life, although maybe not the way you expect them to. You are about to start having spiritual encounters that will completely revolutionize your way of thinking. You just keep knocking on the door, and He will be sure to respond. You WILL see a brighter day again, and very quickly I tell you. It is going to happen much faster than you even think is possible.

 

There is absolutely nothing in this world that I could begin to complain about now. Every withdrawal symptom has completely subsided, and I am completely 100% medication free (I rarely even take ibuprofen unless I have to). I have total control of my mental processes, and anxiety and depression are merely an afterthought for me these days. I try to never forget where I came from and what I've been through, but to spend my time focusing on the past would be a waste of my energy. Instead, I spend my time dwelling on the Word and in communion with God. And that is where my freedom comes from. I have absolute peace and joy unlike anything I ever thought I would have. Of course every single detail isn't ideal, but I still love my life anyway! And this is going to be your story too! Keep fighting the fight and taking one step at a time towards benzo freedom and I promise you that IN TIME you will have a story proclaiming your liberty just like my own! There is no quick fix in this battle unfortunately... it is a daily grind until one day you wake up and realize you are free!

 

Don't lose hope, pray, and fight! YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS AND CRUSH THE ENEMY'S POWER IN YOUR LIFE!

Thank you for posting this. I have been praying fervently and I have barely begun to taper. This has tested my faith but I know he is the great physician and will never leave nor forsake me. Please, lift me up in prayer as I head into this journey.

Blessings

Mellowplease

 

The Great Physician He is! Keep praying and I will be certain to lift you up as well! God bless!!

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Thanks so much Destiny Hunter.

I'm one week short of a year into healing and I'm still suffering.

Feeling very teary today and finding it hard to have hope to fight on.

Doubt keeps creeping in - "is this benzo withdrawl?" "do I need to take something to help me?" "is this me forever?"    The questions just keep pounding me when I'm feeling like this.

Why does this have to be so hard?? 

I really need some better days to get me back on track.  I haven't had one for about 3 months. Surely there must be some around the corner.

Well done on making it through the storm and getting your life back.

Take care

Tallow Love

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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Thanks so much Destiny Hunter.

I'm one week short of a year into healing and I'm still suffering.

Feeling very teary today and finding it hard to have hope to fight on.

Doubt keeps creeping in - "is this benzo withdrawl?" "do I need to take something to help me?" "is this me forever?"    The questions just keep pounding me when I'm feeling like this.

Why does this have to be so hard?? 

I really need some better days to get me back on track.  I haven't had one for about 3 months. Surely there must be some around the corner.

Well done on making it through the storm and getting your life back.

Take care

Tallow Love

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Remember it is all a battle of the mind... gain control of your mental processes, gain control of your life. Keep fighting and pray for better days. They will come.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thank you I am going into panic mode planning the next stage of my withdrawal. Great to read your uplifting words. I will pray for us all tonight x
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Thank you from one Jeremiah 29:11 buddy to another.  3 1/2 years free and still not completely healed. I believe in our healing also!  We have to keep hope because it is even sometimes more difficult after having an awesome run of the normal life and the w/d returns and it takes me a day or so to remember it is the "sick" me with all the thoughts again.  :smitten:
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Thank you for your encouraging post. I am 50 days off Klonopin. The waves are awful, but I have to believe the windows. Your post helps me do that! God bless you. :smitten:
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Thank you Destiny Hunter. Your success story is one of my favorites. I've read it at least ten times now. I was wondering If I could talk to you via messaging?
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  • 2 months later...

Thank you for your encouraging post. I am 50 days off Klonopin. The waves are awful, but I have to believe the windows. Your post helps me do that! God bless you. :smitten:

 

Windows will come and go! It's all about continuing to walk in and believe in your healing! It's an ongoing process, but staying positive mentally is the greatest obstacle to overcome! Keep up the good fight!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Destiny:

 

As your posts prove, you are an inspiration for all of us. There is Promise that is made to Alcoholics in their 9th step.

 

It says "We will lose that sense of self pity and begin to see how our experience can benefit others. We will suddenly see that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves"

 

Your story gives me hope. Even though Those promises do not seem true for me most of the time.

 

However, my only choice is to keep on fighting.

 

Blessings.  :thumbsup:

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I am 76 years old and had a stroke last year on the 5th of January.  I definitely believe in God.

I have a notebook that I write in and I can go back over it and see the improvement.  I was put on Xanax and took as little as possible.  .5 at my heaviest per day.  Sometimes I wonder whether the after effects are the stroke or the medicine.  I was switched to clonasipam by nurse practicioner.  I have worked down to where I am taking 28.5 ml.  of one .5 pill mixed with 100ml of milk per day.  I figure I am going in the right direction. Don't know the correct amount to take so just take what I can stand. Usually lower the dose every 14 days.

When I started my teeth would chatter together and I lost 40 pounds.  My nerves are getting better and my appetite has returned.

Thanks for the message.  It helps a lot. I am going to pray and fight.

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What a heartwarming story Destiny and im so happy you are cured and are deligently seeking God. I dont know where i would be without faith in this nightmare. Its my most valuable attribute, my eternal spiritual self. I know suffering ultimately brings great joy and im honestly happy that youve found joy. Remain faithful and have a wonderful life and thanks for taking the time today to give people-me included-hope. It was very kind of you and we can never have enough kindness in this world!
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thanks for posting.  I shared your story with my friend that I am helping through this process.  This is very well written and shows others that this will get better.  thanks for coming back and checking in. 
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  • 2 weeks later...
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  • 1 year later...

I so needed to read an encouraging success story today. Feeling so frustrated right now and woke up depressed yelling out loud to myself when is this going to end!  when am I going to feel like myself again! Just when you think your getting better you wake up feeling like crap again.

Reading your message helps me to keep moving forward. It’s been 10 mos since I jumped. I know a lot of people would say 10 mos is nothing when it could take a long long time to recover. But it seems like an eternity when you feel this way day in and day out not knowing when it’s going to end. Not knowing how I’m going to feel day in & day out. I do pray, I believe in God & I know I couldn’t do this without him.  So again thank you Destiny for writing this beautifully written message to encourage us all. You’ve made my day a lot brighter!  :smitten:

 

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