Leaving bb ...wanted to ask a final question

I have had beyond horrific sx. Words in the English language can't describe. I have read several times lately that doctors are saying that if you let these sx untreated and stay off meds that you arw causing perm brain damage. Is this really true??!!!!! Is that why I have not gotten better? Im hysterical. Ive been hysterical for years. Seems if people are gonn heal they will see significant improvement in the first year. I'm only alive for my little boy. He needs me to be his mom.  But the thought of doing this even 6 more months causes intrusive thoughts I can't go into on here.  I am leaving bb. I will come back some day if I ever recover.  Thank you to those that have been kind enough to write to me. It means alot. I've had well over 150 physical and mental sx with little to no.relief. I shoulda reinstated and done a slow taper.. But I've seen it go just as bad. Im desperate and devastated and keep holding on to the fact that I am better than last winter.. Whatever that means.  Im fearful my hormones will keep me in this hell forever. So fearful of the And physical hell.... My physical id just as bad as mental... Take care everyone...

Thanks in.advance for any comments on doctors saying perm brain damage if we let these sx go...

I was on this shit just for 2 month on 0.25 mg and I feel horrible 7 months out.I still think this can leave permanent damage and my doctors are not so wrong.Just like with isnomnia I think it can damage our health maybe much more than WD...I have no clue am I right but I am thinking about that.Talk with some doctor in any way.

I have read several times lately that doctors are saying that if you let these sx untreated and stay off meds that you arw causing perm brain damage. Is this really true??!!!!!

 

I've been on BB for almost 2 years now and I've never heard this before.

 

How could we possibly treat the REMOVAL of a drug from our system?

 

I think we just have to let neuroplasticity do its job.

Im reallllly scared at my.time off... Noone has a clue the suffering ibe ensured.  I wish this was something else that could be treated... Yes, I've read it several times from different people saying their drs said these acute like sx needed treated or its going to cause perm damage... Obviously at ky.time off im.shaken.

Uh huh, treated with what I ask.......more benzos?

I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but I really don't think we have a choice but to get through it.

 

Personally, I've not heard of the need to treat WD symptoms or they'll be permanent, so I can't really chime in on that debate.

 

I choose to follow books/stories about neuroplasticity and the brain's amazing ability to heal. I'm not just talking minor healing. I'm talking people healing and functioning again after losing a part of their brain.

 

Hopefully this will help you... I'm 17 months off benzos. I was on them for 17 years. I must have CT'd and reinstated (kindled) at least 5 times, more like 8 times. I was so sick in acute I couldn't walk. I'm a pretty extreme case. But I KNOW I'm healing. It's incredibly hard, as we all still have to try and live life at the same time. It's damn near impossible. But, we are healing, and over time it will get easier.

 

If anything, the science points toward healing eventually and not the reverse: irreversible brain damage.

 

Please hang in there  You are incredibly strong.

Google nueroplacidity

 

There is recent scientific proof that the brain heals from even the most severe brain in juries.

Certainly my lack of sleep and activity in the past 3 years has

damaged my health. I can see how glutamates might damage

neurons not protected by functioning gaba receptors.

The stress has been extreme on many days, severe on most days,

and serious on all days; and stress causes damage.

There are some measures to fight these harms, but the capacity

for diligence is usually just not available in practical terms.

So I would not be surprised if my failure to improve is a

secondary consequence of benzo injury.

So nice to read this all message. It's give me hope. I'm so scared too.

I'm almost 9'and half months out no window only suffering.

I have to believe we will heal, no other choice. 

 

 

  I believe in the medical research performed by Professor Heather Ashton; she wrote the Ashton Manual on Benzodiazepines on how they work and how to withdraw.

Professor Ashton ran a benzo clinic for 12 years from 1982-1994. She closely followed the progress of over 300 patients.

She has given evidence to many/various government committees. At this present day and time, she continues to give advice on benzo problems to counsellors abroad.

There is absolutely no evidence that benzodiazepines cause permanent damage to the brain, nervous system or body.

It just takes time for some of us to completely heal. Some take longer than others.

 

I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but I really don't think we have a choice but to get through it.

 

Personally, I've not heard of the need to treat WD symptoms or they'll be permanent, so I can't really chime in on that debate.

 

I choose to follow books/stories about neuroplasticity and the brain's amazing ability to heal. I'm not just talking minor healing. I'm talking people healing and functioning again after losing a part of their brain.

 

Hopefully this will help you... I'm 17 months off benzos. I was on them for 17 years. I must have CT'd and reinstated (kindled) at least 5 times, more like 8 times. I was so sick in acute I couldn't walk. I'm a pretty extreme case. But I KNOW I'm healing. It's incredibly hard, as we all still have to try and live life at the same time. It's damn near impossible. But, we are healing, and over time it will get easier.

 

If anything, the science points toward healing eventually and not the reverse: irreversible brain damage.

 

Please hang in there  You are incredibly strong.

 

Thank you so much for the above, I'm holding onto hope.

  I believe in the medical research performed by Professor Heather Ashton; she wrote the Ashton Manual on Benzodiazepines on how they work and how to withdraw.

Professor Ashton ran a benzo clinic for 12 years from 1982-1994. She closely followed the progress of over 300 patients.

She has given evidence to many/various government committees. At this present day and time, she continues to give advice on benzo problems to counsellors abroad.

There is absolutely no evidence that benzodiazepines cause permanent damage to the brain, nervous system or body.

It just takes time for some of us to completely heal. Some take longer than others.

 

I believe the above as well. Thank you for this post.

The way i feel about benzo prescribing Drs. who say that wd causes brain damage is that they wanna reinstate you at any cost to make MONEY off of our suffering fragile asses! When you are experiencing withdrawal your mind is telling you all sorts of negative crap which none of it is true. We are simply constantly in the survival flight or fight mode because of lack of gabaA. There are so many success stories and people who notice gradual healing that i refuse to believe there is permanent damage any more then a virus is permanent. It takes the body time to reset back to normal after continuosly disrupting the brains natural gaba functuon. Just as opiates disrupt the brains natural endorphin fuction and you feel wd until it repairs itself the same is said with benzos and gabas funtion. But lack of gaba function and lack of endorphin function obviously heal in a much different time frame. Yet we still heal and the only reason a person may think not is because thats the wd talking-not logic. All the literature out there points to eventual healing and i hope you can get the fear out of your mind that you are forever damaged because it simply isnt true. Its the pain and suffering of the withdrawal talking to you. Not your logical mind. I wish you well

It is also commonly discussed on this site that most doctors have no idea what we are going through as they are very benzo ignorant.  Look around the forum and you might find a few doctors here who admit not learning about any of this in school.  One of them, a heart surgeon, has been open about it on another benzo website.  So, if doctors are not taught about benzo PAWS in school, how can they know that we need treatment in order to prevent permanent damage? I would assume that only a highly trained neurologist who has dealt with people like us would know this.  I've seen two neurologists that made no comment about permanent damage; one of them only had one bit of advice for me and that was to get off the medications and I would heal.  He was very short with me and didn't bother to explain anything at all, but I think he is right.  I've also seen a psychotherapist who seemed very informed about brain damage due to drugs and said it could take 5 years for my brain to recover.  There just doesn't seem to be any evidence to support either side of it, but I choose to believe that the doctors who are saying that we won't heal without additional treatment really don't know shit!  They are probably GP's who have no proper training in this but have seen a patient or two like us who "never" healed.  I think that to them, anything over 1 year must be permanent... Especially when the patient goes in months/years later during a wave begging for mercy.  They are not reading the success stories here and are largely blind to it all.  I offered to print off and give the Ashton manual to one GP I sought help from; he refused and said he didn't have time for manuals. Sadly, it seems we have all been victims of doctors like this who are not in the loop and really don't care to be.  They make their own observations and jump to conclusions that can wind up hurting us more in the end.  Happened to me several times with my p-doc who added more clonazepam and poly-drugged the crap out me.  Anyway, I don't believe anything that doctors have to say anymore... I'll just choose to believe that we have a very good chance at a full recovery... Eventually.

 

All of that said, I'm not anti-pych med in this mess.  sometimes additional pych meds do help some people (I would have shot myself without mirrazipine, when at my worst).  In extreme cases they may be necessary to cope,  but I do not believe that they somehow reverse benzo damage. 

 

To all of you who are scared out of your minds, I am with you!  But the only thing to fear is having this for years... Not forever.

The way i feel about benzo prescribing Drs. who say that wd causes brain damage is that they wanna reinstate you at any cost to make MONEY off of our suffering fragile asses! When you are experiencing withdrawal your mind is telling you all sorts of negative crap which none of it is true. We are simply constantly in the survival flight or fight mode because of lack of gabaA. There are so many success stories and people who notice gradual healing that i refuse to believe there is permanent damage any more then a virus is permanent. It takes the body time to reset back to normal after continuosly disrupting the brains natural gaba functuon. Just as opiates disrupt the brains natural endorphin fuction and you feel wd until it repairs itself the same is said with benzos and gabas funtion. But lack of gaba function and lack of endorphin function obviously heal in a much different time frame. Yet we still heal and the only reason a person may think not is because thats the wd talking-not logic. All the literature out there points to eventual healing and i hope you can get the fear out of your mind that you are forever damaged because it simply isnt true. Its the pain and suffering of the withdrawal talking to you. Not your logical mind. I wish you well

 

Beautifully and perfectly stated.

 

The mind games under wd are awful.

 

Pdsd sufferers from the wars, that have terrible cns damage and trauma to their brains are being healed thru holistic methods like meditation and amygdala retraining from flight and fight to peace.

 

The brain heals. It's been scientificly proven .  Neuro placisity Means brain is not stagnate. It shifts and changes if exposure is positive.

As a rn I find it so hard to believe this even when im trying so hard. I just kept getting worse when everyone else was getting better. I know I was poly drugged and that's probably why... Just praying so hard this is m year.. Even if im.not healed I pray ill be functional and able to be present in.my.childs life.  He loved me so.much!  Hes the only reason im alive through all ive endured. I'm in.therapy for ptsd but it doesn't help the sx I still have now. I've searched far and wide for anyone whose had them and healed.  Noone... 5 or 6 remaining severe ones that cause me to wanna give up daily and another 10 I could live with.  Hormine shifts sebd me into a complete living hell every month.

What SX do you have that nobody else has had or recovered from? Please share if it's not too personal. Maybe there is something else at play here?

windwalker is telling the truth!  these doctors now days get kickbacks for prescribing these drugs. don't pay any attention to them. your brain is not damaged! by the way  what med or meds was you taking? how long have you been on it? how did you taper?  and how many months are you off the med?  remember your brain is not injured. its healing. not as fast as you want though.

big huggs

Most doctors don't understand benzo wd. They know zilch about tapering. They're useless when it comes to these drugs. So if a doctor told me that I wouldn't be healed except by taking more medication, I'd know he knows nothing about benzo wd. That is a sure bet! I'm almost three years out. It's been very rough but somehow doable.

 

Just take each day as it comes. Don't think about anything but that one day. Someone said, "There is enough grace for today," or something like that. I went through times like you did, seeing people feeling better or healed at 12 months out, 24 months out. Now it's getting to 36. The healing is slow, but I see improvement. Incidentally, I'm on bp pills - a lot, and they've probably stood in the way of healing. But I'm still at it, anyway.

I just want you to know that you're not alone. 

Ive known Drs. that were known as "the Drs." that freely prescribe benzos. Purposefully prescribe an addictive substance to a patient to assure they come back monthly and open their wallets. It used to be that way with opiates. You could find a Dr. that would freely prescribe opiates if you faked a back injury. Now that the law has shined its spotlight on the opiate epidemic they are harder to come by. Hopefully the spolight is shined on the benzo epidemic soon so Drs. wont prescribe them so freely. They are literally life destroying and there are many unscrupulous Drs. that dont give a rats ass as long as they are making money. It truly is disgraceful.

As someone who has taken the benzo trip through hell and came out the other side .. I was so blessed to have a benzo wise doctor.. they are out there, but usually you have to search for them..

 

As Terry says.. one day at a time, and yes, you have Grace enough for today...and always remember when the day closes you are one day closer to the end  .

When you are going through this torture and have had so many differing symptoms that gang up on you while trying to cope with another wave It is easy to think that healing seems impossible ...day's turn into weeks weeks into months ,months into years and still the symptoms are present stopping us sleeping walking eating doing the things that we need to do...It is relentless tiring exhausting frightening anxiety ridden and then the symptoms are all on top of the feelings of fear we have ..doctors know nothing about what they actually do to us or how bad they make us when stopping...this poison needs to be banned ..there needs to be an anxiety medication that is not addictive to take their place because I do think that people need to have something to help them when they are anxious scared unable to sleep or work, some doctors have taken the time to help them understand their patients but not many yet the professors know what they do...I think the law should make all doctors take an exam on these matters ...It's out there now and it's known what they do in fact there is going to be a 24 hour helpline set up in the UK for sufferer's of this... so many have taken their own life's too because they could not take the long suffering through it ..It is a scandal and insult to patients of doctors that has to even listen to them say ...It isn't withdrawal, that only lasts a week or two...these people like us are in agony , frightened and need some one to talk about this to them...they can't because they refuse to believe it ..doctors are selfish ignorant money grabbing liar's...they must know some truth ..It is easier to carry on lying so they can keep giving them out...there is a video on you tube called benzodiazepine's a medical disaster..Heather Ashton and Professor Lader talk about the impact on their lifes from them...Lader said that he asked to get this out there and sent a report off to have them banned ...nothing happened .....It shows how many took their life's..She talks about her clinic ect and how many are still so poorly also about how this site was more helpful than any doctor's ..how this site has saved many too..She said it was a Godsend....there is so much that She talk's about ..I wish I had found her earlier....how can doctors just relax and see people fall into utter despair awake all night while they sleep easy in their beds ...one of the tragedy's of withdrawal too is that no one believes us ...we are crazy we lie or we are overly sensitive after all we heal in three weeks....I do believe we all get better and our brains along with everything else does eventually heal, In the meantime we too have to try and see each day as a step closer ...

 

Traumatized80,

 

I'm sorry you are still suffering so intensely.  I don't know why doctors have told you that you will be permanently damaged.  Were they the same doctors who refused to prescribe you any more meds because you reacted so violently from all the ones they already tried with you?  Are these new doctors you've seen recently who now want to put you on more meds?  What exactly do they propose you try in order to arrest this withdrawal so you don't suffer "permanent damage?"  Do your brilliant doctors know something that thousands of us on forums and on support help lines for decades don't know and they are keeping it a big secret? 

 

Instead of ruminating about permanent damage, think about your beautiful son and how much he needs you.  If you can do nothing else all day long, just tend to his needs as you've been doing since he was born.  Do you feel terrific and healthy going about your day caring for your son?  No.  Do you do it anyway?  Yes.  Is he getting what he needs from you to grow and thrive?  Yes.  You see, you ARE doing a good job every day as a mother to your son.  You feel lousy, but it's not about you.  It's about him. 

 

You know the doctors who polydrugged you were wrong.  Why do you choose to believe other doctors who say you will have permanent damage?  What's happening to you is what's happening to all of us.  Why in the hell is this taking so long to recover.  Well, ask any knowledgeable doctor and he/she will tell you that nerves take a long time to heal.  Years, not weeks or months.  Until your nerves completely heal and your receptors and transmitters start working in balance, you are not going to feel so hot.  You're an RN.  You know everything I'm saying is true.

 

Accept that you feel lousy now.  Accept that this is what healing the CNS feels like.  Accept that this is going to take a long time.  Accept that, however compromised you feel, you are doing the best you can to take care of your son and that your best is good enough.  Accept that there are millions of people who have healed from benzos and psyche drugs.  Accept that there are no exceptions.

 

Do some people heal faster than others?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Some people feel a hell of a lot better today than they did a year ago.  You even admitted that.  If what you said was true, why wouldn't you feel better next year?  And even better the year after that?  See, these are the questions you need to be asking yourself because they invoke positive answers.  Your son needs you to be happy and optimistic.  He needs you to love him and take care of him.  These are all things that are within your power, even if the recovery process is not. 

 

Accept the things you cannot change.  Change the things you can.  Learn to know the difference.  I'm not a member of AA, but my mom used to always say this to me.

 

You don't have permanent damage.  You are doing the best you can right now and it's good enough.  Your son needs you and that's why you will be fine. Life has a way of working out, even in the middle of the messes we make.  Have faith.  Grab ahold of God and don't let go.  Never EVER give up.

 

Sofa

 

 

Thanks everyone but sadly I have met.noone really thst had been hot as hard and for as long as me. Physically and mentally tortured 37 months off the drugs with little break. Im only.alive for my.son. Ive exhausted all avenues for help, reassurance ect. If I ever recover ill be back to.tell all... If I dont.return... Well.. Take care all. I wish you all the best.  Iwas poly.drugged way toooooo bad. I was allergic to.every drug and spend 11 days in cardiac icu. The damage is so so so bad. Im sobbing. Ive fought so hard to live gor my son. Id do ect for the mental but I have enough.electricity raging me. I have searched this site for years looking for ANYONE whos had my sx or had them and healed. Noone and I mean noone does.  Thanks to all that have replied. I.wish u all well. Why me??!!!  Why am I still this horrific

Traumatized80,

 

you may have left BB already, I don't know. You may not see this. I have not read about what you are going through.

 

Do. Not. Give. Up. No. Matter. What.

 

Much Love,

 

Ranomi