Feel awful, how can I do it

I am going through my second withdrawal. I was on Ativan from 2002 to 2008 4 mg per day.  I failed, completely fell apart, thought I was losing my mind.  Went to doctor and got back on it.  In the last 4 years, fell multiple times breaking one ankle twice and my pelvis last March.  I am now 65 and have severe osteoporsis. Out of people with hip fractures, 2 out of 5 are dead within 3 years.

My mother and aunts lived to the mid 70's in fairly good health.  I absolutely need to get off is stuff.

Moved from Ativan to Valium in June. I am down from 15 mg per day to 2.5mg in the am and 1.5 in the pm.  Right now my ears are ringing horribly, I have awful anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I feel the pulse in my carotid arteries. I haven't been out of the house in 2 weeks--my husband does shopping and cooking.  I can do a little cleaning and laundry. I haven't taken a shower in a week, or washed my hair in two weeks. I was only driving around our small village in the daytime, now I am not driving at all.

I have at least a month to titrate off.  The last failed withdrawal, bad stuff didn't start until 5 months later.  How can I stand this for maybe another few months, to up to 18 months?  The last time I was active planning a suicide for two weeks until I forced myself into the shower and had my husband take me to the doctor--and got more Ativan.  If I would have had a group like this and the knowledge I have now, I might have made it.

I so have to succeed this time, or throw away the years I have left.  I just don't know if I can take the hell.

Bless your heart, I know, no easy feat to get away from this stuff and my heart cries out for you, even down to the ear ringing. I would say this or that, but not sure. I know given you age ( please take no offense) that it might be difficult, but perhaps an antidepressant or another type anti anxiety. Perhaps trying something like gabapentin or etc. I know some may frown upon it, and even myself have tried a few with no luck. But sometimes we get in a place where it might come down to it.

 

That sure is a rough road traveled, and i can in some ways relate...

 

I was wondering what you meant by "one month to titrate off"?

 

Did i mis read, or do you have Dr imposed time restraints?

 

My feeling is that you can do this, and do it well, if you get to do it the right way for yourself...

 

You have come a long way, but going by your sx, it may be time to consider letting your body catch up for a while... probably as long as it takes to be comfortable to slowly continue down for a gentle step off... -as opposed to a running jump...

 

Ofcourse this is all situation dependant and relative to how you see and feel about things... thats important, as control seems to go with success..

 

So i do hope your Drs are playing fair... But if not, all is not lost, -just a different plan perhaps...

 

Stay strong...

 

Re:  "one month to titrate off". Don't know why I typed that.  Maybe brain fog.  Maybe I meant that was my goal, originally.

Great, so much easier without the time constraints...

U can taper more by symptoms...

Cheers...