Depression question, long term antibiotic, & Lyme disease, please help

Can anyone relate to my description of the depression I have felt throughout my withdrawal:

 

Severe chemical-feeling depression that comes and goes without being attached to any thoughts. It is an all encompassing, soul crushing bodily feeling and I can hardly focus on anything and must act through it to appear normal but it hardly feels survivable. It makes me physically and mentally feel absolutely horrible and beyond all hope and simply in utter despair. Sometimes it comes on for minutes, sometimes it's just in the background on and off for minutes but then gets severe and lasts for hours. And sometimes it lasts the whole day.

 

Again it is not attached to any thoughts or feelings about anything however I do feel it is often attached to being hungry or having to go to the bathroom (bowel movement). Although maybe not always.

 

I was diagnosed with Lyme disease this past summer (CDC positive test through regular lab with my primary care after several tick bites and fevers and many other symptoms) and I took amoxicillin for four months. I suffered horrific herx reactions at first and symptoms were nearly unbearable and about two months into taking it I started having severe uncomfortable pregnant looking bloating, constipation, & was passing almost no gas. Two months later I stopped the antibiotic to try to stop the bloating. Bizarrely so many of my withdrawal symptoms disappeared or were hardly noticeable once the bloating began (about two months into starting the amoxicillin) and I started having amazing windows before the bloating began which were incredible and unbelievable. But I had to stop taking it because I knew my gut needed a break.

 

After stopping the antibiotic in December my withdrawal symptoms plus joint swelling and some other symptoms have been coming back. The bloating has not gone away (I did take a probiotic the entire time I took the amoxicillin too). Within the past few weeks the depression has been so horrifyingly strong and more frequent which is scaring me. It takes so much out of me when it hits that it truly feels unsurvivable.

 

I am not sure if anyone can relate to my description of my depression. I am also not sure if I might've actually had Lyme for years (I was bitten by a tick also in 2011). I have asked on here before and no one has said amoxicillin stopped their withdrawal symptoms but I'm not sure if anyone has actually taken it for several months like I did. I have also wondered if the reason i had relief was due to the bloating - perhaps the antibiotic slowed down everything in my gut which was hit very horribly in withdrawal and that effected my gut receptors?

 

Please if anyone can relate or shed some light for me please do! I am feeling so helpless, lost, hopeless, & confused about if this is all withdrawal or possibly Lyme instead - I don't know how to separate what is what and am having such a horrible time with the symptoms coming back particularly the soul crushing depression (I also very often get tightness in my throat along with it). I am feeling so hopeless that I will never be my old normal self again. Thank you with all of my heart!!

 

Edited to add: I am still getting windows of feeling almost normal but not whole days. And if I get a day where I feel almost normal the whole day it makes the depression that much worse when it hits. It is so severe and unexpected. It is pure physical and mental torment. No thoughts, no sadness, but this horrible physical chemical depression if that makes any sense. I wish I could put it into words better.

 

Angelprint, I'm sorry that your depression is so crushing. I don't know anything about Lyme disease but I do know about the horrors of depression and just wanted to be here for you. I hope someone with experience of Lyme disease gets in touch with you. At least my message will put your post at the top of the thread! Lol 

Gilly x

Awwww thank you so much Gilly! <3 Hugs!!

Angleprint-

 

Sorry for your suffering.

 

My sister also has Lyme, but she was emotionally fine and coped with it remarkably well.  Everything changed when we got involved with these psychotropic drugs.  The Trazodone caused severe depression (wanted to die, for a while resisted food and drink). We had to CT off of that b/c of severe diarrhea (thought we were at risk of serotonin syndrome--something was clearly wrong). Then doctor put her on Ativan (so Ativan was given to an MR person, with Lyme, whose brain was already in a chemically induced depression)--the Ativan only deepened the depression and even though we have been in withdrawal for 7 months, she's still suffering, and the depression is more unbearable than ever.

 

Anyway, I guess the point to my post is to say that for my sister the Lyme and emotional issues were completely separate.  Until these psychotropic drugs, my sister was emotionally healthy.  Trazodone was for sleep b/c of tinnitus from the Lyme, and then Ativan was used for sleep too (though prescribed for the anxiety that was stemming from the Trazodone)

Can anyone relate to my description of the depression I have felt throughout my withdrawal:

 

Severe chemical-feeling depression that comes and goes without being attached to any thoughts. It is an all encompassing, soul crushing bodily feeling and I can hardly focus on anything and must act through it to appear normal but it hardly feels survivable. It makes me physically and mentally feel absolutely horrible and beyond all hope and simply in utter despair. Sometimes it comes on for minutes, sometimes it's just in the background on and off for minutes but then gets severe and lasts for hours. And sometimes it lasts the whole day.

 

Again it is not attached to any thoughts or feelings about anything however I do feel it is often attached to being hungry or having to go to the bathroom (bowel movement). Although maybe not always.

 

I was diagnosed with Lyme disease this past summer (CDC positive test through regular lab with my primary care after several tick bites and fevers and many other symptoms) and I took amoxicillin for four months. I suffered horrific herx reactions at first and symptoms were nearly unbearable and about two months into taking it I started having severe uncomfortable pregnant looking bloating, constipation, & was passing almost no gas. Two months later I stopped the antibiotic to try to stop the bloating. Bizarrely so many of my withdrawal symptoms disappeared or were hardly noticeable once the bloating began (about two months into starting the amoxicillin) and I started having amazing windows before the bloating began which were incredible and unbelievable. But I had to stop taking it because I knew my gut needed a break.

 

After stopping the antibiotic in December my withdrawal symptoms plus joint swelling and some other symptoms have been coming back. The bloating has not gone away (I did take a probiotic the entire time I took the amoxicillin too). Within the past few weeks the depression has been so horrifyingly strong and more frequent which is scaring me. It takes so much out of me when it hits that it truly feels unsurvivable.

 

I am not sure if anyone can relate to my description of my depression. I am also not sure if I might've actually had Lyme for years (I was bitten by a tick also in 2011). I have asked on here before and no one has said amoxicillin stopped their withdrawal symptoms but I'm not sure if anyone has actually taken it for several months like I did. I have also wondered if the reason i had relief was due to the bloating - perhaps the antibiotic slowed down everything in my gut which was hit very horribly in withdrawal and that effected my gut receptors?

 

Please if anyone can relate or shed some light for me please do! I am feeling so helpless, lost, hopeless, & confused about if this is all withdrawal or possibly Lyme instead - I don't know how to separate what is what and am having such a horrible time with the symptoms coming back particularly the soul crushing depression (I also very often get tightness in my throat along with it). I am feeling so hopeless that I will never be my old normal self again. Thank you with all of my heart!!

 

Edited to add: I am still getting windows of feeling almost normal but not whole days. And if I get a day where I feel almost normal the whole day it makes the depression that much worse when it hits. It is so severe and unexpected. It is pure physical and mental torment. No thoughts, no sadness, but this horrible physical chemical depression if that makes any sense. I wish I could put it into words better.

 

Hi,

 

I am in the exact condition. I took Augmentin for respiratory infection a month ago. Now I am so bad - the depression is very hard (I have never had depression). One day I am ok and the next day is pure hell. I had insomnia and bad tinnitus. But the depression is unbearable. Maybe it is because of the Amoxicillin but it is exactly the same as your condition. Can you sleep well? Do you have tinnitus?

I had Lyme for many years, and took a number of antibiotics, all of which caused terrible intestinal issues - a result of the abx just destroying your gut flora. There is a great deal of convincing research that an unhealthy gut can cause depression: many of your seratonin receptors are located in your gut. I had a couple of co-infections as well as Lyme, and many of my symptoms were neurological and mental: I had tremors, and ocular migraines, and myoclonic jerks, and terrible depersonalization and anxiety.

So getting your gut back in shape - prebiotics and fermented foods and green vegetables - would probably help your depression, but the benzos also mess with your mind and your gut so it is really hard to sort out what causes what. A lot of it can be trial and error - just seeing what works and what doesn't. I am pretty sure I have no active Lyme now, and am sorting through w/d from all the meds I took for pain. Don't know if this will help...I will be thinking of you...

What worked for me with Lyme finally was getting off the abx, using herbs and homeopathic remedies to get my immune system back on line, and now getting off the meds

I took probiotics, my stomach is fine now. My symptoms are neurologist too now! Last week I was so dizzy.  This week the depression is very bad. I cry all the time, the anxiety keeps me awake. The insomnia, the total exhaustion of the body after the virus and bacterial infections (I had both) and the antibiotics (Axef and Augmentin) makes me feel so weak now. I know that the immune system recovers itself after 3 month. I try not to take any supplements because they make me feel more worse. It is very strange, some hours I am ok and the next day- baaaam. The doctors told me that the vegetative nerve system is very annoyed now and it will takes some time to become in normal state. Some of the buddies here told me that the antibiotics affect the CNS and it is normal. But it is the same as you, the neurologist systems are the most. My head is out of space.