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Unrelenting Fear


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I'm going to my 5th month off klonopin and can't seem to shake this 3 week wave and accompanying fears.  Fear of no windows, fear of not recovering, fear of return to prior illness, fear of ramped up symptoms and on and on...  I feel like Charlie Brown after Lucy tells him he has a fear of everything.  I "know"  it doesn't make since but, I just can't shake it.  Can't figure out how much is withdrawal and how much is legit concerns.  Has anyone else experienced such fear and is there anything that helps you deal with it better?  Meditating, deep breathing, and distraction help temporarily but, this fear is always just below the surface.  Thank-you.
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You're certainly not alone with the fear thing.  Fear has got to be one of the biggest barriers to recovery.  It messes up everything (sleep, socializing, parenting, work, ...).  And yet, the only way to overcome that habitual fear is to overcome it.  It's something that only you can do.  I expect that you've seen this article, but if not...

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through

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Thanks badsocref.  Interesting article and certainly applies to all of us going through benzo withdrawals-the only way out is through for sure.  I'm struggling with the fear and also radical acceptance of this process at this point, too.
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The organic fear has been my biggest symptom throughout my recovery.  It has varied over time.  Try to trust that there is nothing you are doing to make it worse and that it is strictly a symptom of withdrawal, a product of damaged GABA receptors and overactive Glutamate.

 

It's awful I know and feels so real when it's raging.

 

Hang on it gets better.

 

Karen

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  • 1 month later...
I have suddenly had a major bout with this fear after tapering for over a year. It came back due to a stressor after having things mostly better in the fear arena. It's hard, I'm not going to lie. Downright debilitating at times. We just gotta push through. It will pass and things will get better. :angel:
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"It came back due to a stressor after having things mostly better in the fear arena"--exactly! sudden, unavoidable stressors trigger me, too linnie  :sick:  The January panic  did calm down but, was retriggered this weekend.  Think I'm coping better so far this time around. The fear is so hard to deal with after being in a decent window but, you are sooo right-we have to push through, it WILL pass and things will get better.  Hope it calms soon for you too  :)
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Take something to balance the pH of your blood and give me feed back. it helped me a lot when I was feeling fear all the day.
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Thanks healthfirst, I need to get back to the alkalizing mineral water I had been drinking.  What did you do to help your ph balance?
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Thanks healthfirst, I need to get back to the alkalizing mineral water I had been drinking.  What did you do to help your ph balance?

 

A PH balancer. I can give you the constitution of mine later. And the water i drink is pH 9. It helped me Also in the acute fase with confusion.

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Glad the water helped you!  :)

 

 

the water and the ph balancer. (and it stills helping me). Here is the constitution:

 

- Sodium bicarbonate

- Potassium bicarbonate

- Trisodium citrate

 

send me your feedback

:thumbsup:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi,

 

I have a lot of fears and doubts too :). I notice lately my fear and intrusive thoughts are better...and i just realize that...it got better because I don't pay much attention to them...I "did not' try to find ways to overcome them...I just gave up on trying because I was exhausted...This may sound weird but I think that what helped me...we just let the thoughts and fear float ...and focus on everyday normal activities...hope it helps...

 

Tracy

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[2e...]

Hi,

 

I have a lot of fears and doubts too :). I notice lately my fear and intrusive thoughts are better...and i just realize that...it got better because I don't pay much attention to them...I "did not' try to find ways to overcome them...I just gave up on trying because I was exhausted...This may sound weird but I think that what helped me...we just let the thoughts and fear float ...and focus on everyday normal activities...hope it helps...

 

Tracy

 

You began accepting instead of fighting.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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That's wonderful advice Tracy and so glad that it is helping you!  I just read the other day that observing fears and negative thoughts but, not thinking about them too much helps lessen their power.  I will try to not pay so much attention to the fears and doubts, too and focus on other things. Thank-you!  :thumbsup:

 

"You began accepting instead of fighting"- good way to put it badsocref!  Acceptance is sooo hard but, it seems like one of the best ways to help us get through this in order to recover.  Also love you post on another thread about feeding the right wolf, too  :)

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[2e...]

Acceptance is hard because we weren't taught to accept.  We were taught to join (which isn't acceptance).  Or we were taught to fight (which also isn't acceptance).  Actually, once you begin to accept, it's pretty easy - it's far easier than fighting or anguishing.  Much less emotional energy is expended.

 

There is a downside.  The media has spent tons of time and money learning how to manipulate you.  They know your buttons and push them regularly to obtain a calculated response.  When you stop reacting to your pushed buttons, you become much less manipulatable.  But that bad result for the marketing gurus is a good thing for your independence.

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Acceptance is hard because we weren't taught to accept.  We were taught to join (which isn't acceptance).  Or we were taught to fight (which also isn't acceptance).  Actually, once you begin to accept, it's pretty easy - it's far easier than fighting or anguishing.  Much less emotional energy is expended.

 

There is a downside.  The media has spent tons of time and money learning how to manipulate you.  They know your buttons and push them regularly to obtain a calculated response.  When you stop reacting to your pushed buttons, you become much less manipulatable.  But that bad result for the marketing gurus is a good thing for your independence.

 

I have this old psychology book from the 90's that talked about overcoming different "lifetraps". It's a decent although somewhat flawed book. But the authors nailed some of the things. Basically, when people would face the problems that were deeply ingrained in them, they would employ 3 strategies: surrender, escape, or counterattack. Not a single one includes genuine acceptance.

 

Surrender would generally be kind of giving up and feeling worthless and being aware of it and not doing much about it. Escape was more about denying those feelings whether through natural emotional numbing or through the use of activities, avoidance patterns, psych meds, alcohol, drugs, you name it. The most interesting one was the counterattack where people would go and try to "beat back the fear", but would do it in a way that would be very

costly to them energy-wise.

 

What the book failed to address, I think is that there could be a mixture of these styles in everyone at different points in their lives. Someone may start counterphobic very young, but end up being burned out and going into escape/surrender patterns later on. Some people may start with surrender/escape, but may realize what's going on and go into a counterattack.

 

I see benzo use as sort of a surrender/escape pattern, but a decision to break from them is definitely a counterphobic action, which then reveals all our mechanisms of surrender and escape, which triggers more of it. And this is why getting off is so painful. Basically, seeing all the fine-tuned emotional defenses that served us to a point, until they no longer did, which makes us confused, not knowing where to turn....

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  • 2 years later...
[89...]

Glad the water helped you!  :)

 

 

the water and the ph balancer. (and it stills helping me). Here is the constitution:

 

- Sodium bicarbonate

- Potassium bicarbonate

- Trisodium citrate

 

send me your feedback

:thumbsup:

 

Did you find this ph balancer on the internet?  What are the measurements?

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