How much do you cry?

I have found my crying has become very uncontrollable. Minor things trigger it and I just go with it. I'd say I cry about 10 times a day or maybe an hour or so in time, bad days a couple hours. I have to lock myself in my room because I don't want my daughter to see me. I spend a lot of time in my bedroom and it's claustrophobic.

I cried a LOT.  I cried over everything…if my daughter came to visit, as soon as she went out the front door I started to cry.  One time she came back in to get something and caught me crying…for no reason except that she left.

 

I'm not entirely sure why this happens, but it could be our brains trying to release endorphins.  It will pass, but I know that isn't much consolation at the moment.

Thanks challis..it's rough when it happens when I'm out, but that's not very often 

I've been crying for about a year now. Is going down dramatically. In the beginning it was in public; on the subway and at work - which is totally unlike my personality. After that it was publically at home, in front of people I wouldn't cry in front of normally. Also with friends. Now it's slowly going down to only privately, and less times a day. I bet soon it's going to be gone totally.

The crying seems completely irrational, for things you wouldn't have cried for before. This is withdrawal; it'll be gone one day.

Good luck!

Third,

I cried on and off all day yesterday. My daughter went back to college after Christmas break. It felt good, though, to cry. I look at it as a release. Hang in there.

I constantly cry because I feel I will never get better and I feel my wife lost a husband and my daughter lost her dad. Depression runs deep. I find crying sometimes helps get emotions out. I am hopeful and sure we will recover based on what people say and the sucess stories.

I constantly cry because I feel I will never get better and I feel my wife lost a husband and my daughter lost her dad. Depression runs deep. I find crying sometimes helps get emotions out. I am hopeful and sure we will recover based on what people say and the sucess stories.

 

I really appreciate all your responses to this; it's such a lonely feeling. Billybats I really appreciate the male perspective because my husband has been crying a lot. It's so taboo for men  . It's a stress response and I hear stress hormones are in tears so it's great to let it out; wish it wasn't hours. Gives me horrible head aches but good sleep. Sometimes like vomiting I feel it coming and help it along to get it over with. Songs or heart tugging youtube videos are the best for me. I just go in a room and have crying time. I just tell my husband "I need a breakdown" and he understands and watches our daughter.

Oh how I wish I could cry, or atleast feel something. Life is just sliding before my eyes thus I'm unable to feel or connect to it in any way.. Dunno why I dropped in, just needed to vent this 

Oh how I wish I could cry, or atleast feel something. Life is just sliding before my eyes thus I'm unable to feel or connect to it in any way.. Dunno why I dropped in, just needed to vent this 

 

That must be really frustrating! When I feel like crying and it won't come out it feels painful; especially when I try to hold it in out of embarrassment. Have you tried helping it along by watching sad stuff...seems counterintuitive I know. Super cute stuff too makes me cry, especially animals.

I have cried more in the last week than i have in the last 10 years of my life.

I have cried constantly the last two weeks.

Before this i didn't understand friends and family members who cried over a sad movie or the news.

Now I cry while having breakfast, while talking to anyone, YouTube clips of cute animals, commercials on tv, the news and on and on...

Never cried like this before.

 

 

I'm the same like you. The last year I cried so much I can't even belive. And I'm still crying on everything and anything sad or happy, every day. I'm 8 months out and I'm still super sensitive, dealing with burning headache and scalp because high level of anxiety.

We will get better, time wil heal.

.

While I'm glad I'm not alone I would not want anyone to suffer this. I often think of you all and cry....Damn now it's starting again... wonderful caring people suffering simply because they wanted to be better and these drugs have taken too much!

Greetings.  I'm Jeff from Chicago (Simonbarsinister).  It looks like billybatts is the only male who has posted so far.  You are not alone, kind sir.  I am a 52 year old man; I went into tolerance withdrawal in late 2011, and am currently tapering.  For these past 5-6 years, I have been weeping almost daily, and at times uncontrollably.  I could enter into a crying spell just thinking about my son leaving for college in a few years.  It's not uncommon for me to mourn the loss of things I haven't even lost yet.  Our dog is very healthy, with probably 2 or 3 more years of life, yet I sob sometimes when I look at an early photo of her.  A photograph of the house I used to live in (or even more so, driving past it) will bring me to tears.  I am deeply moved by music, and I usually cannot listen without crying over a certain melody or chord movement, or lyric.  And now that my son has actually gone off to college, I am reduced to a sobbing, embarrassing mess when we bring him back to school after a break.  I look around at all the other parents, and they look healthy and happy.  But I have to take refuge in my car and weep.  My wife drives home because I often weep for a couple hours.  Years ago, before the Xanax had a grip on me, I would get just a little choked up by things like these.  But in recent years, it is entirely over the top.  I can only believe this is yet another painful blow struck by the insidious benzodiazepine Xanax.  I remember when a little crying actually felt good.  Now, it accompanies feelings of terror and despair.  I'm glad I read these posts by all of you.  And, I'm certainly glad for those of you who reported improvement in this area.  Here is a great song lyric which some of you might enjoy.  (Of course, it makes me cry). 

"Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight;

You've got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight."  -Bruce Cockburn

 

     

Greetings.  I'm Jeff from Chicago (Simonbarsinister).  It looks like billybatts is the only male who has posted so far.  You are not alone, kind sir.  I am a 52 year old man; I went into tolerance withdrawal in late 2011, and am currently tapering.  For these past 5-6 years, I have been weeping almost daily, and at times uncontrollably.  I could enter into a crying spell just thinking about my son leaving for college in a few years.  It's not uncommon for me to mourn the loss of things I haven't even lost yet.  Our dog is very healthy, with probably 2 or 3 more years of life, yet I sob sometimes when I look at an early photo of her.  A photograph of the house I used to live in (or even more so, driving past it) will bring me to tears.  I am deeply moved by music, and I usually cannot listen without crying over a certain melody or chord movement, or lyric.  And now that my son has actually gone off to college, I am reduced to a sobbing, embarrassing mess when we bring him back to school after a break.  I look around at all the other parents, and they look healthy and happy.  But I have to take refuge in my car and weep.  My wife drives home because I often weep for a couple hours.  Years ago, before the Xanax had a grip on me, I would get just a little choked up by things like these.  But in recent years, it is entirely over the top.  I can only believe this is yet another painful blow struck by the insidious benzodiazepine Xanax.  I remember when a little crying actually felt good.  Now, it accompanies feelings of terror and despair.  I'm glad I read these posts by all of you.  And, I'm certainly glad for those of you who reported improvement in this area.  Here is a great song lyric which some of you might enjoy.  (Of course, it makes me cry). 

"Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight;

You've got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight."  -Bruce Cockburn

 

     

Cool entry Simon! I just decided to check out the depression forum. I also like Bruce Cockburn but I only have one album.

    I used to cry all the time when my marriage broke up. Sometimes I wish I could cry, maybe the AD's I take prevent it but I don't know. I am 60 and have been on disability for a year and a half. I always thought it was Lyme, got treated for it for two years, than I found out about  bentos. I have been on Klonopin for 14 years. Anyways, you have 3 men on the forum now.

Swammi - Thanks for your post.  Wow, Lyme Disease.  I've heard that can be a very difficult thing to diagnose.  And now it could end up being from taking Klonopin!  Unbelievable what these substances can do to us.  I hope the precise taper method works well for you.  My doctor wasn't necessarily opposed to using Valium, but he said he gets better results with Librium, so he's tapering me with that.  Maybe your doctor would be willing to use Librium.  It's very long-acting, and it can be reduced to a very low dose, almost as low as Valium.  I was disappointed when he first proposed it, but then I looked in the Ashton Manual and saw that she uses a direct taper off Librium.  You could ask your doctor.  Take it easy!  -Jeff 

It's comforting to hear others talk about crying.  I am in a wave of late that has me feeling so unglued emotionally.  I have always cried fairly easily but lately it's not so much from external stimuli but from this chemical, shaky, depressed, fearful feeling that just needs release.  It's truly horrible and almost never leaves me.  I am easily shaken by things in the world and interactions but I usually only cry with a few certain people or sometimes by myself.  Hang in there folks, some day this will all be a distant memory.

 

--Karen

Thanks Karen.  Yes, I believe it will all fade away at some point.  Thank God your physical symptoms have cleared away.  Have your anxiety and fear improved steadily since you stopped the Klonopin?

-Jeff

 

Oh yes I'm so grateful the physical symptoms have gone.  The fear and anxiety have varied but been fairly consistent through this.  Lately it's been worse.  Hoping that means I'm close to a breakthrough of sorts....  I can always hope .

 

--Karen

Greetings.  I'm Jeff from Chicago (Simonbarsinister).  It looks like billybatts is the only male who has posted so far.  You are not alone, kind sir.  I am a 52 year old man; I went into tolerance withdrawal in late 2011, and am currently tapering.  For these past 5-6 years, I have been weeping almost daily, and at times uncontrollably.  I could enter into a crying spell just thinking about my son leaving for college in a few years.  It's not uncommon for me to mourn the loss of things I haven't even lost yet.  Our dog is very healthy, with probably 2 or 3 more years of life, yet I sob sometimes when I look at an early photo of her.  A photograph of the house I used to live in (or even more so, driving past it) will bring me to tears.  I am deeply moved by music, and I usually cannot listen without crying over a certain melody or chord movement, or lyric.  And now that my son has actually gone off to college, I am reduced to a sobbing, embarrassing mess when we bring him back to school after a break.  I look around at all the other parents, and they look healthy and happy.  But I have to take refuge in my car and weep.  My wife drives home because I often weep for a couple hours.  Years ago, before the Xanax had a grip on me, I would get just a little choked up by things like these.  But in recent years, it is entirely over the top.  I can only believe this is yet another painful blow struck by the insidious benzodiazepine Xanax.  I remember when a little crying actually felt good.  Now, it accompanies feelings of terror and despair.  I'm glad I read these posts by all of you.  And, I'm certainly glad for those of you who reported improvement in this area.  Here is a great song lyric which some of you might enjoy.  (Of course, it makes me cry). 

"Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight;

You've got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight."  -Bruce Cockburn

 

Oh Jeff I wish I could hug you. Dealing with this trying to be a spouse and parent leaves nothing but sadness and guilt; for me at least. I know it's not rational but it feels so devastating. I mourn every moment I retreat to my bed after DD has been home only minutes. Damn kids are hard! Our brains just don't have the resources. I'm having reaL big guilt issues over my daughter and feeling I'm letting her down. Message me if you want to talk kids, damn the guilt!

   

Oh yes I'm so grateful the physical symptoms have gone.  The fear and anxiety have varied but been fairly consistent through this.  Lately it's been worse.  Hoping that means I'm close to a breakthrough of sorts....  I can always hope .

 

--Karen

 

Yes, I hope so!  I think it's awful that the anxiety hasn't declined.  Did you originally take the Klonopin to treat anxiety?  How long were you on it? 

Thanks,

Jeff

 

Oh Jeff I wish I could hug you. Dealing with this trying to be a spouse and parent leaves nothing but sadness and guilt; for me at least. I know it's not rational but it feels so devastating. I mourn every moment I retreat to my bed after DD has been home only minutes. Damn kids are hard! Our brains just don't have the resources. I'm having reaL big guilt issues over my daughter and feeling I'm letting her down. Message me if you want to talk kids, damn the guilt!

 

Thank you, and the same to you!  Yes, we would like to be positive and upbeat for our kids, and when instead we cry, it must be confusing for them.  And it does result in sadness and guilt for me as well.  Hopefully, at some point you will be able to continue to taper down from 1.625, and these symptoms will gradually diminish.  In due time, I will tell my son that I was suffering from Xanax tolerance/withdrawal.  I hope he will be able to understand my behavior during these years.  And, I hope you and yours can do the same!  -Jeff

Jeff I had some anxiety prior but nothing like this.  I began taking Ativan when my dad passed away in 2006 and my marriage was faltering.  I was having some panic attacks at the time.  I ended up being on for about 4 1/2 years total.

 

Thethirdtimearound, I also have kids (boys 12 and 15) and I'm a single parent.  It's been brutal trying to be present for them through this.  Luckily I've had a lot of support including live in help but man it's been hard hard hard.  Pm me also if you'd like to talk parenting.

 

All the best,

Karen

Swammi - Thanks for your post.  Wow, Lyme Disease.  I've heard that can be a very difficult thing to diagnose.  And now it could end up being from taking Klonopin!  Unbelievable what these substances can do to us.  I hope the precise taper method works well for you.  My doctor wasn't necessarily opposed to using Valium, but he said he gets better results with Librium, so he's tapering me with that.  Maybe your doctor would be willing to use Librium.  It's very long-acting, and it can be reduced to a very low dose, almost as low as Valium.  I was disappointed when he first proposed it, but then I looked in the Ashton Manual and saw that she uses a direct taper off Librium.  You could ask your doctor.  Take it easy!  -Jeff 

Hi Jeff: How is the depression today? Its a strange beast but it puts you in good company. I read that 40 million americans have a depressive episode at least once a year. I was diagnosed with "major depression" rather than dysthymia which I think is what the Victorians used to call Melancholia and may be more related to attitude than anything situational or chemical

Swammi - Hello; it's great to see you're having a good day!  Most of what I'm struggling with is anxiety.  I have a low-grade depression that comes and goes, but it's not severe enough to medicate.  Actually, my depression diagnosis is, in fact, dysthymia.  Perhaps it's the very gradual taper that will allow you to feel better from day to day.  I'll send a prayer up for you!  -Jeff