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need advise on reinstating


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Hi everyone,

I feel like im fighting a losing battle since my valium was stopped last september. My anxiety and tinnitus and agoraphobia is through the roof. Just so unrelenting... I get hope from reading others experiences on here but I just wonder when it will all end, nearly 4 months on.

Anyway, my partner has a doc's appointment today to get a prscription for me to reinstate. I feel like a loser by so desparately needing meds but I'm physically and mentally exhausted from the quick cut and all the w/s that are so debilitating. I barely leave the house now and am hoping that this reinstatement, if the doc gives him the pills of course, will help me in a more successful transition next time round. I was planning to leave house now and get a doctor experienced in benzo withdrawal to aid me.

My symptoms were worsened when my friend made bookings to come and stay with her parnter and 2 kids for a week and I just didnt know how to say no. She knows what im going through but insists on coming. We have a tiny flat so it will be full on.  Also my son and his girlfriend are execting a baby next month and I cant get to the store for baby stuff due to total social phobia. Christmas and new years was a nightmare and my fiance's family and friends are expecting a big wedding!!! sometime this year which will involve going to the UK fom New Zealand and meeting them to start and then get married. Just all way too much for me and he seems to be worried telling them we dont want a big affair. Its all just too much for me... Help??  :'(

Deb

 

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Hi everyone,

I feel like im fighting a losing battle since my valium was stopped last september. My anxiety and tinnitus and agoraphobia is through the roof. Just so unrelenting... I get hope from reading others experiences on here but I just wonder when it will all end, nearly 4 months on.

Anyway, my partner has a doc's appointment today to get a prscription for me to reinstate. I feel like a loser by so desparately needing meds but I'm physically and mentally exhausted from the quick cut and all the w/s that are so debilitating. I barely leave the house now and am hoping that this reinstatement, if the doc gives him the pills of course, will help me in a more successful transition next time round. I was planning to leave house now and get a doctor experienced in benzo withdrawal to aid me.

My symptoms were worsened when my friend made bookings to come and stay with her parnter and 2 kids for a week and I just didnt know how to say no. She knows what im going through but insists on coming. We have a tiny flat so it will be full on.  Also my son and his girlfriend are execting a baby next month and I cant get to the store for baby stuff due to total social phobia. Christmas and new years was a nightmare and my fiance's family and friends are expecting a big wedding!!! sometime this year which will involve going to the UK fom New Zealand and meeting them to start and then get married. Just all way too much for me and he seems to be worried telling them we dont want a big affair. Its all just too much for me... Help??  :'(

Deb

 

 

Hi, Deb.  :therethere:

 

It seems that life is not giving you a break in the stress so maybe you could get on top of the anxiety for once.  Since we are a benzo withdrawal board, I don't think you'll find anyone urging you to resume the benzos but because of the BenzoBuddies philosophy, you also won't get any condemnation here either.  Hey, I had to quit cigarettes 3 times before it finally "took".  ::)

 

I hope that if you do go back on a benzo, you get relief and continue to work on anxiety-reducing techniques.  It's easy to neglect these practices, like controlled breathing, meditation, etc., when we are not feeling anxious but it's the best time to develop those "muscles".  Good luck.  :thumbsup:

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Hi Beeper, thanks for yr response. Yes I know folks on here would not condemn me for reinstating and yes he got the meds, which in itself is sad as he so doesnt need them medically, but I am just so housebound at the moment that i needed his help. I feel strange here at home waiting, as I have felt so bad these last few months that relief in pill form makes me feel strange now. I have problems taking a headache pill (panadol) now...

My mind wanders as I type so sorry for any unordered thoughts, Im full of them recently!

Well, I will work hard still on breathing and meditation and things that will assist me in this journey. does anyone have more withdrawal advise after u reinstate? everything, every bit of help I find on BB is invaluable

thanku

Deb

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I wish I could help but I have never reinstated. Is the tinnitus driving this reinstatement? I am asking this because it is my worst symptom and have done a lot of research on the subject. Mine goes to a low "hiss"  when I'm relaxed and when my symptoms flare up, it is a high pitched piercing sound.

 

If you are catching breaks in the tinnitus, you could be looking at 6 months to a year for it to go bye bye. The longest benzo wd tinnitus recovery I have read about was 4 years (on a 25 year user), and the least was a few days. I have searched this subject 100 times and read hundreds of stories. Keep in mind millions of people develop tinnitus each year, and tinnitus may not be benzo related. But If you catch it during a taper/CT, chances are it is because of benzo wd and you should fully recover.

 

About The Anxiety-My Anxiety can send me to the hospital in about 20 minutes if I don't catch it and push it to the side mentally. My whole body goes numb and my pulse hits about 125. I demand a wheelchair because I cannot feel my legs from the tingling. Doctors hook me up to a ekg/take bood and tell me it's anxiety in the end.

 

I'm curious what your anxiety is like that makes you want to reinstate.

 

My concern is you have the same symptoms I do and I'm about to jump off real soon and curious what is driving the reinstatement the most because in my case, the tinnitus is not manageble, the anxiety is manageable, the agoraphobia subsides on its one once out in public, but does not go away fully.

 

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hi gman,

thanku... ok, for me, the tinnitus is horribly not mangeable. when other people are around, the anxiety is barely manageable and my agoraphobia is pretty debiitating at all times. Wierd cos i have always been a real socialable type person and love company.

yet the thought of one of my best friends coming to stay for a week has sent me over the edge and im reinstating as of tonight. shit im scared though... Honestly I think its just me not being strong enough to do this right now, I came off pretty quickly so maybe thats my problem...I had no idea of benzo hell and what they can do to you. My tinnitus is usually as you say, a low hiss. But oh its hell when im tired and/or worried(stressed). like a construction site in my head! I get like a frightened kid when my anxiety hits and have left the house bout 8 times in last couple months. I have been taking phenergan to help sleep but I seem to end up with dry itchy painful eyes so yeah....where is the justice huh...and when does it all just go away????

Well il pop back on later tonight, its 5pm here

thanks again and may your journey get easier!!

Deb

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Thanks for the info.

On another note, I'm curious how you feel today.  I hope your doing much better. What was the amount you reinstated at?

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Hi there, well i had my first med last night. 5 mg valium and same this morning. Huge difference to previous dosage of 30 mg at a time usually. Last night I felt relaxed, practised my deep breathing and had a pretty good sleep. The tinnitus was still loudly present though as I had been agonising over reinstating all day and was worried about going through it all again, but the need to relax and feel some peace from the symptoms prevailed.

This morning the tinnitus is very faint, anxiety is manageable and I'm going to my first hairdresser appt in months! (well i hope to!!!)I am going to continue on small dosage next couple weeks and reduce as I feel able, which was not the case last time.

I wish I could have kept going but for me personally, I feel I've done the right thing. I will keep u posted and I really hope things go well for you. I feel the need to stay connected on here more than ever now.

Take care

Deb

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I'm so happy you fell better because life is too short not to enjoy. Some of us do have permanent chemical imbalances in our heads and need to tranquilize. Like my doctor told me, if you have diabetes, can you stop taking your medication?

 

All in all I hope you get all the relief needed to enjoy life to its fullest. :yippee:

 

 

Gman

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  • 1 month later...

could it be that you have protracted.  meaning that your symptoms can last for up to year or more.  I am protracted.  I have recently relapsed as well. I was out of the woods for almost a year and started up with using ativan here and there to cope with stress and insomnia instead of therapy or something a lot more smarter  :(. anyway it caused my to addicted again do it's short half life.  well long story short I am reinstated on 4.5 mg's of valium at this point and withdrawing with a taper plan.  sound to me like you could be protracted as well.  if you had those symptoms once removed for several months.  what was your original taper schedule like if you can remember because that might tell if you came off to rapidly which can certainly cause acute and protracted withdrawal.  I'm in the same boat though.

 

take care,

click

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Oh Gosh..I didn't know that some people need to be tranquilized and that there can be permanent chemical imbalances in the brain??    :o:-[
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