New 6-12 month buddy group

Thought it would be nice to start a new buddy group to see how everyone is faring on this little adventure. At a loss for words at the moment (benzo brain) . Usaully I have a whole lot to say. Anyways welcome buddies !

 

For good or ill

Remy

I just hit my 6th month, and it's been one crazy ride. I've been in a wave for almost a month, and that didn't even happen after my jump. It's been so intense. I actually had to take a few days off work. I didn't take any days off after jumping, I was able to push through it, but this wave just wouldn't allow me to do it. I was so dizzy, I thought I would fall over. It's been crazy, but I hope to see much more improvement. I have already seen some improvement, but I'm ready to be at least 80%, that would be nice.

I just hit my 6th month, and it's been one crazy ride. I've been in a wave for almost a month, and that didn't even happen after my jump. It's been so intense. I actually had to take a few days off work. I didn't take any days off after jumping, I was able to push through it, but this wave just wouldn't allow me to do it. I was so dizzy, I thought I would fall over. It's been crazy, but I hope to see much more improvement. I have already seen some improvement, but I'm ready to be at least 80%, that would be nice.

 

Welcome to the group existentiallyspeaking .

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I experience all of those symptoms and the dizziness drives me nutso sometimes . Congrats on hitting month six, I remember feeling disappointed I didn't Miraculously turn a corner after hitting six months ( since that is the turning point for most) . I too experienced month long waves from my 4-7 month. After seven the waves where spaced apart more and gave me more rest.

 

 

We are all hoping for a miracle during recovery I believe it's what keeps us going. We think maybe tommorow will be the day when I wake up feeling normal finally . I know I am hoping for that miracle still. Although I did turn a big corner over the last two months, so I at least got a small victory in this big loss in life .  I think you will notice some changes over the next few months though they will be subtle ( at least it was in my case, everyone is different in recovery) .

I made it to this time frame... is anyone here?

I made it to this time frame... is anyone here?

 

Im here , congrats on making it this far. Sadly nobody from my time frames is interested in forming a support group. This is the 3rd group i have tried starting and i think im doing it wrong lol. Hope things are going well for you and anyone else in this time frame.

Aw, don't give up! You never know when people will come around. In the meantime, we can support each other 

Ten months and almost three weeks.  I have had some improvement in month 9.5 on but it is very minor and some sx have gotten worse.....waking up too early came back.  Some days not many are not horribly intolerable, just intolerable.  I am trying to get out more although it terrorizes me.  I went to hear a lecture last Thursday night.  Very hard to sit still.  I have akasthesia. I am not feeling very hopeful, to be honest.

Hi Carol jean, ten months and three weeks is a HUGE accomplishment! And getting out for a lecture is also very brave!! I'm sorry I don't know about the Akathesia... is that your worst symptom? Mine is insomnia. I also have head pressure, weird sensations in my head in general, fatigue, muscle twitches and just a general feeling of not knowing what I'm doing. I can look normal in public, but no one IRL understands what I'm going through. Thank God we have this place and each other...

Hi everyone ,

 

I'm almost 11 months and still suffer miserably some days .  I feel like I'm a little better since month 10 but some days I still feel I'm in acute . People say I'm doing better and I feel too . It's just too slow and I'm feeling discouraged a lot . Hoe we all turn a corner soon .

 

Tracy

Akasthesia is an inner restlessness and sometimes some mental symptoms like terror....so I cannot sit still unless I am on the computer and I have quite a bit of terror or feeling like I am in a bad horror movie all day...at this point by late afternoon my base rises to just abject misery....but I am still almost suicidal in the mornings....I hope others don't have such intense mental sx....I blame it on the rapid taper and the polydrugging from rehab..I also have excruciating nerve pain in my lower lumbar spine which came on after my taper and supposedly is because of degenerated discs but it's odd that I never had pain until now.....

 

Like everyone, I just try and get through the day...my life is so small now....hardly anything left...I don't know what the future holds..

 

Carol

Hi Remy, et al.

I guess I make the cut for this thread now.  Nothing to report except agonizing muscle pain.  Hi Carol Jean - let us hope this is just a nasty chapter that will end soon.  WBB

Your mouth to God's ears.....

bump  -- I guess y'all are doing fine?  W

Sorry I haven't been replying on here , I posted this when I was six months off and I'm 13 months off now so this thread doesn't really apply to me anymore

 

I am glad too see some of you guys coming together on here . That is really cool because you need that support a lot the first year off. I'm here to lend a ear if anyone needs it.  I'm not on bb as much anymore though and try not to come on as much since I am finally able to get out of my house .( still on here enough)

 

I had horrible agoraphobia for the first 10 months . On top of the constant panic/terror ,adrenaline.rage ,depression, body/muscle pain  and all of that other fun stuff . I couldn't  t really do much except lay there and suffer , waiting out the hellish storm attacking my mind body and soul .

 

So now that I can do things I try to do as much as I can each day. Without pushing myself too hard because I still have a lot of symptoms and experience some bad waves here and there . For the most part everything has  been manageable the past two months . I am constantly waiting for the hellish days to come back and won't let my guard down till I know I'm done with this benzo shit for good.

 

I'm going back to school even this summer and that's a big stressor but I'm not gonna let this take any more from my life than it already has . I'm strong enough  now from the first year to deal with any other shit recovering from benzos has to throw at me . So if school makes all my symptoms bad again that's fine, I'll cope .  Typing this on my phone sorry it's all jumbled and unstructured but I think most everything posted on these boards are. I mean we are all temporarily mental and insane so it's amazing we achieve anything at all.

 

 

 

For Good or ill

Remy

Thanks Remy, for the update.  It is true, once you know that a wave won't kill you, your can bulldoze through until it eases up.  I wish you continued healing and good luck with school.  It'll be fine.  WBB

Remy--congrats on reaching 13 months! and best of luck at school this summer!

 

WBB--how is your sleep? I jumped a little after you in October from Klonopin and sleep is my biggest remaining issue...

Hi, Tee -- well yes, sleep is still my biggest problem.  I no longer have AM cortisol surges and I am pretty good at getting to sleep but I can't get back to sleep after a few hours.  I had a detour on low dose opiods/barbs for my arthritic hip and those meds messed with my sleep.  My dog messes with my sleep!  I would love, one day, to walk around not feeling like a zombie.  W

hey there.....

around 6 months here. its hard to examine where i'm at. thing definitely got better starting month 4. i got rid off seroquel and sleeping good still. i get a solid 7h every night. napping without problem - but avoiding it since can't sleep at night after....

doing too much still bumps my anxiety. but following my day most days not thinking about benzo as much. I avoid most bb threads except gabapentin w/d, and this is my second one.

i'm 100% functional, its just that my anxiety gets revved up more easily. working remotely and there is no way i'm ready for a big city office life yet. the typical wake up, drive in traffic, sit in office cycle just isn't healthy for anyone.

my worst physical symptoms are weird neurological symptoms - electric shocks, twitches, patches of numbness. never in one place, cycles around. not too much though, but it reminds me of the damage those drugs did cause.

hang in there all....it does improve, and i'm like 5x better then month 1-3.

Hi Remy, I was just reading through some threads and came across this one and noticed you said in month 9 you had a huge wave.  I'm experiencing this in my 8th month off, I feel worse than I have in months.  Did you feel better once it stopped?  I've had a huge amount of stress and someone very dear to me cut me out of their life so that's kind of when it started...although I have come to peace with that now...anyway just hoping for your experience during that wave.

 

Hope your feeling better.

Hi Remy, I was just reading through some threads and came across this one and noticed you said in month 9 you had a huge wave.  I'm experiencing this in my 8th month off, I feel worse than I have in months.  Did you feel better once it stopped?  I've had a huge amount of stress and someone very dear to me cut me out of their life so that's kind of when it started...although I have come to peace with that now...anyway just hoping for your experience during that wave.

 

Hope your feeling better.

 

Hey there, sorry to hear your having a huge wave. I had a huge wave month 9 due to a abscess tooth and a blood clot, it was a combination. I didn't know i had a infected tooth till month ten but after i got that sorted out, i felt better or back to my baseline ,after about 3 weeks.  So if yours is related to a big life stressor like that person cutting you out of their life, it should pass once the stress from that passes or calms. In theory anyways that seems to be how recovery is, it could also just be a bad wave. I had bad waves off and on the whole way through until recently. Anything can turn a bad wave into a huge wave.  Just gotta be real mindful and pay attention to your diet to see what is the root of your current wave. In all honesty though it could just be a random wave since there is no logic to recovering from benzo.

 

 

Congrats on 9 months your inching towards a year fast

Thanks for replying!  This wave just doesn't let up and I feel so weird, different...this is all so scary.  I had been doing pretty good..my biggest symptom is the disconnect feeling but now I have that with anxiety and this one has lasted a few weeks.  No matter how much I read I feel

I'll be the one that doesn't heal!  My eating is very good, so it can't be that.  Did your wave last awhile?  And how are you doing?

Locutus--congrats on 6 months! hope you continue to feel better and better 

 

Bbbc--sorry you are in a wave. hope it passes soon... 

Teegirl how are you feeling?  I couldn't lay around one more day so I got up and went on a bike ride with my girls...turned out my tire was pretty flat and I was wondering why I was more exhausted than usual!  😂But I did it, couldn't have yesterday so this is a plus!

I am doing okay, thank you for asking! I don't really have big waves and windows, just a slow fading of symptoms over time. Mentally I've been pretty good for a while, but physically I still have insomnia and head pressure/tightness. I am sticking to a very strict routine in a desperate attempt to maximize sleep and speed recovery... That's great that you got out for a bike ride! I have to go to my nephew's graduation this morning... will be seeing extended family who have heard about my troubles but haven't seen me in a while... I feel kind of self conscious like they'll be checking me out to see if I went crazy or something... ugh wish me luck

Awww Good luck!  But hold your head high, you are a trooper and we are strong!  Did you have the disconnect feeling as well?  That's awesome your symptoms are fading, they will just keep going and we can write our success stories one day!