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Tonight, I'm Six Weeks Free Of It


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Hi all.

 

I think I've probably been through the worst phases of withdrawal - severe rebound-withdrawal starting around December 2015 - and, who knows, maybe for some long time before that 'unrecognised'.

 

"Hellish" is the common expression. Me too. I tapered myself, without 'supervision' from a very longterm relationship with Bromazepam (I'm in Europe) and have been completely benzo free for six weeks now having taken my last 1.5mg on August 21st 2016.

 

There is no way I will ever engage with benzos again.

 

Thank you for providing your supportive place.

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Welcome to BenzoBuddies, FizzleWitch.

 

First of all, congrats on tapering yourself off and becoming benzo free after longterm use.  I did the same a few years ago (after three decades or so of refills), and though it was indeed hellish and took some time to recover from, it was well worth it in the long run.

 

You may want to start posting in Post Withdrawal Support for support.

 

 

We highly recommend that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr. C. Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations on the reasons for their existence.

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

~Challis  :smitten:

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Thank you Challis :)

 

Jan-April 2016 were the worst months ever - like, forever, for me. Almost total insomnia, extreme agoraphobia and non-stop anxiety & panic, minute-by-minute, day-by-day, week-by-week. Mine is yet just another familiar story.

 

I've not been without a benzo of some sort since 1978 (Iknow!) until six weeks ago.

 

I'm hopeful that the dawn has begun to arrive - there are some encouraging signs at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you Challis :)

 

Jan-April 2016 were the worst months ever - like, forever, for me. Almost total insomnia, extreme agoraphobia and non-stop anxiety & panic, minute-by-minute, day-by-day, week-by-week. Mine is yet just another familiar story.

 

I've not been without a benzo of some sort since 1978 (Iknow!) until six weeks ago.

 

I'm hopeful that the dawn has begun to arrive - there are some encouraging signs at least.

 

1980 for me.  I was prescribed a benzodiazepine for RLS and took a pill at night every night for 20+ years.  Then tragedy hit my family and I was put on a different one for around ten years.  So, if I tell you life is better now than ever, it should be a bit reassuring!

 

;)

 

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That's very impressive & encouraging Challis - thank you.

 

One of my biggest fears embarking on a benzo-free life was (and still is - at times) the constant reminder from me to me that now I have no "backstop" against rising anxiety & panic, should A&P arise. (I was prescribed 'valium sandwiches' for panic attacks way back in 1978 lol!)

 

On the other hand, benzos had stopped working - probably a long time ago too - and I've been through the sort of hell +more described by many, many others here for at least nine months (that I can attribute WD to), and probably longer (unrecognised by me what the problem was).

 

Anyway, thanks for your very kind welcome and for doing the work that you do.

 

:)

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Fizziewitch- what you brought up is one of the hardest parts in getting off benzos after many years of use- the realization that the crutch you have had  for so long is now gone and you have only yourself and your inner strength to rely on to get you through stress and or panic attacks...It is very daunting to realize that....I was on xanax continuously for thirty years from 1986 until I took my last pill on May 31st 2016 ...I am  now learning to live life without a benzo cushion. . I can say though it is a wonderful feeling  to be free of those monthly refills and all the hassle...and also the lousy feelings I had  for many years between doses that was actually  withdrawal I didn't recognize. I felt bad for so many years and didn't know what was causing those feelings  till now- it was the xanax I thought was my friend but was actually hurting me. Here's to healing for you soon and a letting up of the symptoms you still have remaining !
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Thanks Ontheroadme.... I haven't got the hang of this forum yet and didn't know how to follow threads - but I'm getting there :)

 

Even though I'm six weeks clear, I still find it odd not to pop a pill first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It's like I'm forgetting to do 'something important'!

 

Am very much one-day-at-a-time with this after nine months of pure horror, but yep, the big question is, if I improve from here, how I'll be able to manage my "pressure points" down the road.

 

Many thanks for your reply.

 

 

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Four months out and I still keep thinking I  forgot to take my pill and then realize I don't take the pills any more.....still a creature of habit I guess!
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