Time is one great medicine- and it works wonders!!

Hi BB friends,

 

A brief summary for the new ones:  I was prescribed Lorazepam and took it for a little over a year in low doses and rarely everyday.  However, withdrawal was a horrific experience for me, and BB was my lifeline when I needed it most. First I would like to take this opportunity and thank all of you: Colin for creating this site;  a wonderful, compassionate and a selfless move that saved many! And to all the rest who helped me when I was at my lowest, too many to mention by names, THANK YOU!!

Now, without further delays,  to my success story:

 

Before my withdrawal ordeal, I have never thought about time as  my best friend, it was something I chased,  or let pass by, but always thought I was in charge rather than TIME.  It was in withdrawal when I fully learned to appreciate time. It was so profound, how TIME implemented healing for me while going through this horrific withdrawal. My time  paused  while I felt a horrific void and madness in a never ending mind and body suffering; but I held onto the thought, as many before me(thank you again BB friends), that time was on my side,

And as I waited and life has passed by me, while I felt decapitated with each second of the clock ticking

there was a  new fresh soil being created for me to land on. Almost a year has passed and I feel privileged to have gone through this hell on earth, as time and life wore a different dimension for me. Time is on our side when we pause and let the mind and body heal. It is the only healing that allows one to look within and around with no rush nor ambitions. Withdrawal was  the only time in my life where I looked from the side while  my only desire at the time was to reach simple normality

Though while I came to the other  side in one piece I gained so much more than what I have bargained for while in hell.  I humbly know wrong from right in an accuracy that is reserved for a few lucky ones, I ended contact with the  negative that surrounded me, I am stronger than ever. It is an outcome that one can not put into precise words. I am at ease, and content. It is a healing and then some more, much more!

I finally walk and smile and laugh and cry and LIVE, but I do it all from calmness, peace, self awareness, self love, strength,  care and compassion.  It is this journey that enabled me to reach this level where I can not even be fooled by my  old self. lol

Yes, it does take a long visit to hell to truly BE. It does take time, and withdrawal can be tricky, where you feel healed just to be knocked down by recurring symptoms or  where after months, withdrawal can take place in a steady yet subtle and very mild way, where you reach only 80% healing of yourself and you sadly think this is how you will have to live for the rest of your life. But when I finally reached my final, true and clear window where even the subtle symptoms disappeared for good (you will know when it is the final window, trust me on that one!) I  was ecstatic that the ‘left over’ were gone as well!!!  My only medicine was TIME and patience.  Was it worth it? Wholeheartedly YES!!!!!!

I am a living proof to all of you who are still in the middle of this journey. Trust time, it is the true healer. Don’t fight it, don’t be bitter, Benzodiazepine  is EVIL Plain and simple!!! Allow time to win it, and eventually you will have everything to gain from this hellish experience and nothing to lose.  You will look back, as I do, smile and say - I DID IT, I WON! It is finally over.

Last but not least, To all my BB buddies-  If you thought I forgot you, than guess what my friends? You were absolutely, positively and certainly  wrong! (LOL) as I will always have a warm spot in my heart for you all!!!

 

With love to all

Shelly

 

It was like you were speaking to me when you talked about stalling out at 80%. I've been at 79% for 3 months (give or take some 50% days).  I'm inpatient now but no longer despondent thanks to you.

 

Congratulations!

 

ginger

Hi Shelly!

 

Thanks for coming by and giiving us such an uplifting update. Congratulations!

Dear Shelly,

 

Tears poured down my cheeks as I read your success story and that is unusual for me as this process has not allowed me to do much crying.  This has to be one of the most inspirational stories I have read in a long time.  You are humble, grateful and positive regarding this journey....none of which I can grasp.  I will try now to look at this ordeal in a different light.

 

Thanks so much.

 

Patty  xo

What a heartening and beautifully written [piece.

Thank you. Lizardlady.

Thank you for writing this wonderful story Shelly, so many people need to hear your words. 

Shelly thank you so very much.  Congratulations!

Dear Shelly,

                You are an inspiration to me and all who have the gift of reading your post. To see through your words the gift at the end of this struggle ,may just take the what ifs and what might be, to a level of a sincere appreciation of the fight is truly an amazing thing. Hate it now= lesson learned, to seek for the light and KNOW you are right where you should be, and great things shall come because of this. For me, a Christmas miracle indeed. Bless you and yours this season and always! 

Thank you so much Shelly:)

I just found this and it couldnt of come at a better time. I have only been off 5 weeks and still suffering pretty bad..the only thing I have is time and need to embrace it and try to find all the positives I can so that I too can grow more as a person and rise above this experience..I want to look back one day and proclaim total healing and feel some grace and appreciation for having this experience..not there yet.. but thanks to you and your beautiful message I am very hopeful!

What a gift for us to read this!

Thanks so much!

XXXX

Shelley 

That was really beautiful!!

 

 

Hi Buddies,

 

 

Thanks for all your replies.  I am very proud of  the whole process I went through and my complete recovery; however I couldn’t have done it without the support I have received from the wonderful people on this site.  In my early stages of withdrawal, I remember vividly how I would post questions with fear and confusion--there was always somebody to reply right away to reassure me. When I would go to the chat room completely lost, I got so much support. I know my stay on this site wasn’t long, however I did carry with me throughout my recovery the tools and love I was given here.  I pray that suffering people in withdrawal will reach this site.  I will definitely try to post and stay in touch.  It is vital to keep this amazing site going. IT SAVES LIVES!

 

Warmly,

Shelly  xoxox

Hey Shelly!   

 

Isn't it nice when the days of the "twilight zone" playing are over? 

 

You are one of the few I was able to see start, and then come back after completely recovered!  :yippee:

 

I'm so glad you came back to share with us.  Hope to see more of you.   

 

Congratulations on a very successful journey out of benzo madness!

 

Phyllis 

 

 

Shelly,

I think all new BB members should be encouraged to read your letter as a requirement for membership.

 

It truly embodies in a very personal way what BB is all about. 

 

Suffering, Sharing and Healing.  Your words are as real as any medicine ever gets.

They show how powerful and connected to healing that faith, encouragement and determination are.

So much positive energy can come from mere words, that it's too amazing to comprehend.

 

Thank you for sharing your heart. 

I know that wherever you are, and wherever you go, your experiences will continue to be an inspiration to others.

-David

I just cried all over my keyboard. What a great inspirational story. I'm so glad to hear you are doing and feeling great. Thank you for writing this for all to read.

 

Good Luck in your new life without benzos....

 

Brandy

Hey Shelly,

 

    I agree with your "subject line;" time and acceptance are the keys that will open the door to recovery quicker than any other medicine.  Through many days of suffering and pain, the phrase "time heal all wounds," couldn't ring truer. 

 

    Complete recovery...what a great reward for STAYING THE COURSE!

Well done Shelly.  Good for you to stay patient and not give up even after a few months and symptoms lingered or resurfaced.  I think you're right that time and patience heal.  Moreover, realistic expectations help and its good to read that you understood that taking the last dose was not going to magically relieve all symtpoms nor would they go away all at once.  Sometimes its two steps forward and one step back.  I'm currently in a backward state, two months off and have some issues but I know I will never take a benzo again.  Thanks for your inspiring and hopeful feedback.

 

Vertigo (NO MORE)

Shelly,

 

That was uplifting!  Just what I needed.  You are so amazing. This place is a life line to so many.  I appreciate that you took time to help me now that you are past the pain. 

 

I am so HAPPY that you are HEALED!!!  You are a beautiful person. 

 

Melissa

I really needed this today Shelly.

 

T H A N K  Y O U  !!!

Hi dear Buddies,

 

 

Thanks for all your replies. I do appreciate it.

One of the most important things this whole ordeal have taught me is humility. Visiting this site after I am considered fully recovered, is a direct result of understanding that I am never too far away from those who are still struggling. I want to remember that simple true fact - That I was in the same spot as you are not so long ago. This wonderful site, enables people to come together and support each other in a subject that unfortunately is surrounded by lack of knowledge and a lot of suffering . It is this support that enabled me to fully recover.  Therefore I always remind myself that my recovery is not only about regaining  my life back, and moving on but also about the ability to never forget, in my newly found wonderful routine, the lessons it brought me.

One of the lessons is to walk and look rather than give in to the hectic pace that surrounds me. As when you walk you are able to think and watch  yourself and your surroundings clearer . You are better aware of the joy, and better prepared for the setbacks, and since you don’t run, it is so much easier to lend a hand along the way when you see a buddy struggling, because you know that in the past  it was you who struggled at the same exact spot, and there was a helping hand  pulling you up to keep going.

And always remember TIME is on your side. I know since I am no Hercules (lol), and I still managed to beat hell    and heal,  so be confident you will too!!

 

 

Shelly

xoxox

Good thing you 're a woman. If you were a man I would propose to you 

(jk)

 

Your words are so encouraging, you give hope to all of as (I already have given a link to this thread to one or two people suffering around the forum)

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

thanks for sharing...I really needed to hear that 

Great wonderful success story! You couldnt have said it better!  i do know exactly what u mean, more than you bargained for!

 

I too have learned a great deal, more bout life, spirituality, a deeper learning, respect, gratefullness for health! bigtime.. I will be benzo free in 2 weeks.. and i cant wait to start healing, and be me again........and with a more clear mind!!!!!!! and not take things for granted..

 

Way to Go.. hugs...and thanks for giving me some more hope!

 

Shelly, I went back to some of your old posts after again reading your success story.  I saw in one post you said a final healing can take place after a real bad wave.  Well Im nearly 8 months out with one of my worst waves that is so intense and lasting for a second week.  Is this really a sign it could be at the end?  Like you I was on a low dosave for a little over a year.  Hope its true that it could be close to the end.

 

Shari

Hi Shari,

 

My healing from Benzo Hell was so peculiar that it became one of the best lessons I have gained in my life. Yes- my complete healing followed a really bad wave. I was so discouraged, confused and in disbelief when it hit me hard towards the end. It was relentless for a good three weeks until it stopped completely. This wonderful healing process is indeed amazing. It has been almost 18 months since my c/t and almost 9 months of being completely symptoms free.  Not only did I regain my life back, I embrace the lesson learnt and  feel the wonderful joy and peace I have never experienced before this ordeal.

  Nothing will surprise me when one deals with the healing process in Benzo withdrawal. We all walk through different path of healing, at times we cross paths and share paths of agony and hope. I believe no healing is identical to another. However, the most important thing to remember, is that healing does take place. Time has proven to me and to many others who have healed from Benzo withdrawal that it does implement healing.

  Shari, think about the tomorrow waiting for you. Let me share with you and my buddies the  wonderful feeling of exhaustion and peace that I felt after this combat was over for me.

 

  Sending tons of prayers your way and to all my buddies. :angel:

 

Shelly  :smitten:

 

 

 

Shelley, thank you for the comfort, it gives me the strength to go on.