Three months off and feeling fantastic!

Hi guys. I jumped three months ago and am feeling fantastic! Words cannot explain it. Read on for yet another BB success story..

My background

This was my first post on BB.

Hi I'm 26 and from Australia and have been on Diazepam since February this year (2015).

 

First and foremost I want to say what an excellent resource this site has been. Reading through what others are going through and what some have achieved is what made me sign up. I have read through many different topics on this site and thoroughly familiarized myself with the Ashton manual.

 

I had some unfortunate incidents occur in my life surrounding a forced move from my home of 24 years, and the stress of undertaking a new role with a Federal Government department, which lead to high anxiety and ultimately presented physically as dysphagia and later an unknown throat condition.

 

At the time the doctors and specialists were a little unsure what it was however after many tests and much research on my part, myself and a specialist were able to make the connection. The dysphagia subsided gradually however the throat sensation remained. The issue was called a cricopharyngeal spasm, anyone who has had these knows how unpleasant they are. Upon accepting the diagnoses and starting a course of V the spasms subsided.

 

The initial does was PRN and worked fine however I spoke with my doctor and started taking it regularly as a preventative measure at a dose of 3x 5mg Diazepam a day so 15mg, very rarely occasionally 20mg. Knowing what I know now I do wish I had remained as PRN, with this said the cricopharyngeal spasm have thankfully not returned.

After four months of use I became more informed on the topic of benzo and it became apparent what I needed to do.

During my taper and symptoms

When I started to taper at the higher dose I used the cut and hold approach. Sure enough within a few days of making the cut I would experience twitches and hypnic jerks. I used this method from 15mg down to 3mg. Once I was down to 3mg I found myself looking for a smoother way to do this. This is the part where BB comes in and opens your mind to the intricacies of benzo use and the successful ways others in a situation similar to you have withdrawn. With the help from other buddies on the forum I was able to put together a daily liquid micro taper and I didn't look back.

Below I've included the duration of my taper. From 3mg I was reducing at a rate of 0.01mg/day using the 1mg/100mls milk titration method. This method isn't a golden symptom free ramp down, but it's a ramp and not a staircase, and any symptoms should be lessened and more manageable. For me this felt more productive and was much smoother compared to cutting and holding.

Feb 2015 - Start Diazepam 15mg

May 2015 - Started tapering cut/hold

June 2015 - Started daily liquid micro taper

Feb    2015 - 15mg        - Mar    2015 - 10mg

April  2015 - 5mg          - May  2015 - 5mg

May  2015 - 4mg          - June  2015 - 3mg

June  2015 - 2.5mg        - Oct    2015 - 2mg

Nov  2015 - 1.5mg        - Jan    2016 - 1mg

Mar  2016 - 0.5mg        - May  2016  - 0mg

During the taper you name the symptoms and I basically had it, this doesn't mean you will though, everyone is different. I don't want to dwell on symptoms while writing this story but they were there and whatever you experience it is only temporary and it does definitely get better. I know it sounds cliche but time really does heal all wounds.

Jump day

After a few years in the new house we moved back into the suburb I grew up in, fantastic to be back in this area. This move coincided with reaching 1mg in my taper, it felt awesome to be at this stage. After months of tapering I began to approach my final dose. I took it very slow toward the end, slower than what you might require, however due to this I approach I reached 1mg and was feeling great, and this was the case for the remainder of the taper.

I am a firm believer in taking it slow. The slower you're able to go the more chance you give your body at being able to repair itself on the way down.

While tapering there were a couple of things I did to assist my body and give it the best chance to repair. I never drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes (or anything else) so that was a non issue for myself. I did notice how much sugar I cut back on, so basically anything that stimulates like sugar or caffeine, I steered clear of. Also ensuring that your body receives enough rest, it's hard to do this during a taper due to adrenaline and cortisol surges, early wakings, hypnic jerks, but I found it's very important for your body but also for your mind.

I jumped on the 2nd May 2016, three months ago. Because I took it slow I reached my final dose in the best shape. Under 1mg I felt my full energy return and was back engaging with life. It's a fantastic feeling.

Now

Because I took it slow I feel I am probably 85-90% healed and am feeling ... well ... wow, absolutely fantastic. The whole process does change you, but it's a change for the better. I find now I am more empathetic and compassionate. Before my taper I was working in a high stress but high paying 9-5 Government role, and now my taper is complete and I'm feeling so good I'm looking at returning to work, not in a Government role, but working very local within health, where I'm able to engage with those who are the most vulnerable, a role where you can really assist people and is truly rewarding.

Thank you

I would like to say a very big thank you to all of those who I've spoken with on BB. I'm very respectful and thankful that this site is available to all. Special thanks goes out to Diaz-Pam, SG57, builder, Moodle, and Mark Murphy, thanks for all the replies to my many questions over the time 

Edit: Fixed grammar mistake.

Fantastic!  So many people ask about the possibility of quick healing, are here it is!  Thanks so much for coming back to post your Success Story for those who are scared and suffering.

Challis 

Thank you

I nice sensible slow taper.

I will be following your method.

What happened between June 15 and Oct 15 when you dropped 1/2 a mg?

Thanks

:)

Thank you all 

@Arkansas1122 - Like yourself and many on here I was told it was fine and stopping it wouldn't be an issue. Following my first doctor I was fortunate to come across one who is excellent, who I will continue to see in the future. Benzo wise doctors are few and far between sadly, but any issues we do have it really is temporary and given time I started to notice small subtle changes. We could all probably list off our symptoms like lightning but to list the slight improvements over time during a taper is more difficult. It does get to a stage and you think " Wow, I'm actually doing really well!"

@jp49 - Thanks, it's a solid method that works. Between those months I decided to slow it down based on how I was feeling. As I was cutting and holding by the time I reduced to 3mg I was feeling off, nothing specific but I followed my body. During that time I also started the daily liquid titration so I did a slight updose from 2.5mg to 3mg for two weeks during the changeover to liquid, then continued using titration for the remainder down.

:) :)

Bravo! Could not be more happy for you Dark! Another success story

I have now been off for 14 months - doing great like you. I came to BB desperate for help and literally in hell... helpless.. found help here from the same amazing people + Bart and Jana.. Went super slow and healed along the way. Never thought I would fully live again..now 90+% of the time I am better than ever - happy, sympathetic, relaxed, appreciating LIFE.  Will post my story here as well shortly to inspire others... it can be done.. and life does return.

Thank you so much for sharing this success story, it's exactly what I needed to hear today especially after reading some scary stuff on here. Your story gives me hope and I really want to heal as much as you have.

Question: when you reduced under 3mg, at 0.01 less daily, was that 1ml of your titration mixture less daily? My maths is awful but I'm trying to figure out how to copy your plan to hopefully get the amount of healing you have. I think I'm reducing too much at the moment. I'm doing 2ml less each day from my titration mixture of 100ml (100ml water per 1mg valium, plis 1ml vodka to dissolve)

@[Ma...] Great to hear things are going so well mate, you'll have to write up you success story soon too 

@Niners - I had no idea the throat spasms were even possible. In my case I had an even harder time accepting they were caused by stress and anxiety. It took me a solid twelve months to work out what was going on. It goes without saying that when you're experiencing one a muscle relaxant just stops it dead, and that's how the benzo ride starts right? For the record the Diazepam did work, and worked effectively in stopping them. I feel like I could teach a class on cricopharyngeal spasms. I was concerned while tapering that removing the benzo I would see a reemergence of the spasm, but that didn't really happen, and it hasn't happened since. Fingers crossed it remains that way!

@JustDoToday33 - Thanks heaps, I'm very glad to hear it gives you hope. There is some scary overwhelming stuff written on this site that's for sure, but it's not all like that, and the success stories are proof enough. I was flicking through several topics on here daily and some of it was terrifying, there was even one point where I read a story where a certain member was having a really rough time at 1.7mg V and as I was approaching that I thought "Wow if this guys is having such a hard time then surely I'm in for it too" but that wasn't the case at all. Everyone is different and if there is one thing I've found being on here is that there are so many individual variables which impact a persons taper. One thing that isn't a variable and is certain, we do heal and the body does repair.

Question: when you reduced under 3mg, at 0.01 less daily, was that 1ml of your titration mixture less daily?

You're absolutely right, each day I was removing 1ml. When I initially changed over to liquid at 3mg I also reduced by 2ml daily for about a week and I found it to be a bit much, I then decided it would be best to slow it down further. I stayed removing 1ml/day for the remainder of the taper.

You have your life back! That is fantastic. :yippee: You are a success story!  :smitten:

Thank you so much! 

Congratulations!!  I am so happy for you.  Thank you for coming back to share your success!!  It means so much to everyone.  Enjoy your life!!

Anne

I have been looking forward to reading your success story. Congratulations!!!

I wish you much joy, peace and success. I appreciate all the help you gave me with my tapering plan. You've encouraged me along the way and have shown me what to look forward to. We definitely do become more sympathetic to others through this experience, as you noted. I know this experience has also made me a better person. Thank you for all that you do to help others, and I'm sure you're experience will also be used for good.

All the best,

Grace

Thank you Anne! It's great to be back and engaging with life again. I wish you the very best for the remainder of your taper 

Thanks also Grace 

I'm glad we've been able to stay in contact throughout. As is the case for all of us, this success has been a long time coming. You're so close now too, not long at all before we'll be reading your success story!

Hello

Just a question please

I am day 47 off valium

Main problems remain nerves pains in legs only.

How long did it take for you for pain in legs?

Hi Sybase66x

Congratulations being 47 days off! 

I don't recall having any pain as such in my legs, but some most certainly can. I had a fair few symptoms but the only thing I can remember close to that would be myclonic muscle twitches. I had them throughout my upper body and also in my legs. Towards the end of my taper it was just my legs. I wouldn't say it was painful at all but anyone who has had them knows how annoying they can be.

By the time I reached 1mg I was in good shape, and when I jumped any twitches I had in my legs were so insignificantly tiny and minor I didn't even notice. Just over three months out and they seem to be basically gone.

Sorry to reply to an older thread, but was just wondering if the OP wouldn't mind describing his throat issues to me in a little more detail. I'm going threw a very similar thing and may have up my dose of what I take for sleep to also squash the throat spasms.  I see an ENT tomorrow to hopefully confirm the diagnosis.  My

cricopharyngeal spasms where self diagnosed because I notice significant improvement almost resolution of symptoms when I took my night xanax dose.  I dread taking any more than needed, but it's tough to get through my day with the horrendous throat issues. Any more info on your past throat symptoms would be appreciated!

Hi guys. I jumped three months ago and am feeling fantastic! Words cannot explain it. Read on for yet another BB success story..

 

My background

 

This was my first post on BB.

 

Hi I'm 26 and from Australia and have been on Diazepam since February this year (2015).

 

First and foremost I want to say what an excellent resource this site has been. Reading through what others are going through and what some have achieved is what made me sign up. I have read through many different topics on this site and thoroughly familiarized myself with the Ashton manual.

 

I had some unfortunate incidents occur in my life surrounding a forced move from my home of 24 years, and the stress of undertaking a new role with a Federal Government department, which lead to high anxiety and ultimately presented physically as dysphagia and later an unknown throat condition.

 

At the time the doctors and specialists were a little unsure what it was however after many tests and much research on my part, myself and a specialist were able to make the connection. The dysphagia subsided gradually however the throat sensation remained. The issue was called a cricopharyngeal spasm, anyone who has had these knows how unpleasant they are. Upon accepting the diagnoses and starting a course of V the spasms subsided.

 

The initial does was PRN and worked fine however I spoke with my doctor and started taking it regularly as a preventative measure at a dose of 3x 5mg Diazepam a day so 15mg, very rarely occasionally 20mg. Knowing what I know now I do wish I had remained as PRN, with this said the cricopharyngeal spasm have thankfully not returned.

 

After four months of use I became more informed on the topic of benzo and it became apparent what I needed to do.

 

During my taper and symptoms

 

When I started to taper at the higher dose I used the cut and hold approach. Sure enough within a few days of making the cut I would experience twitches and hypnic jerks. I used this method from 15mg down to 3mg. Once I was down to 3mg I found myself looking for a smoother way to do this. This is the part where BB comes in and opens your mind to the intricacies of benzo use and the successful ways others in a situation similar to you have withdrawn. With the help from other buddies on the forum I was able to put together a daily liquid micro taper and I didn't look back.

 

Below I've included the duration of my taper. From 3mg I was reducing at a rate of 0.01mg/day using the 1mg/100mls milk titration method. This method isn't a golden symptom free ramp down, but it's a ramp and not a staircase, and any symptoms should be lessened and more manageable. For me this felt more productive and was much smoother compared to cutting and holding.

 

Feb 2015 - Start Diazepam 15mg

May 2015 - Started tapering cut/hold

June 2015 - Started daily liquid micro taper

 

Feb    2015 - 15mg        - Mar    2015 - 10mg

April  2015 - 5mg          - May  2015 - 5mg

May  2015 - 4mg          - June  2015 - 3mg

June  2015 - 2.5mg        - Oct    2015 - 2mg

Nov  2015 - 1.5mg        - Jan    2016 - 1mg

Mar  2016 - 0.5mg        - May  2016  - 0mg

 

During the taper you name the symptoms and I basically had it, this doesn't mean you will though, everyone is different. I don't want to dwell on symptoms while writing this story but they were there and whatever you experience it is only temporary and it does definitely get better. I know it sounds cliche but time really does heal all wounds.

 

Jump day

 

After a few years in the new house we moved back into the suburb I grew up in, fantastic to be back in this area. This move coincided with reaching 1mg in my taper, it felt awesome to be at this stage. After months of tapering I began to approach my final dose. I took it very slow toward the end, slower than what you might require, however due to this I approach I reached 1mg and was feeling great, and this was the case for the remainder of the taper.

 

I am a firm believer in taking it slow. The slower you're able to go the more chance you give your body at being able to repair itself on the way down.

 

While tapering there were a couple of things I did to assist my body and give it the best chance to repair. I never drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes (or anything else) so that was a non issue for myself. I did notice how much sugar I cut back on, so basically anything that stimulates like sugar or caffeine, I steered clear of. Also ensuring that your body receives enough rest, it's hard to do this during a taper due to adrenaline and cortisol surges, early wakings, hypnic jerks, but I found it's very important for your body but also for your mind.

 

I jumped on the 2nd May 2016, three months ago. Because I took it slow I reached my final dose in the best shape. Under 1mg I felt my full energy return and was back engaging with life. It's a fantastic feeling.

 

Now

 

Because I took it slow I feel I am probably 85-90% healed and am feeling ... well ... wow, absolutely fantastic. The whole process does change you, but it's a change for the better. I find now I am more empathetic and compassionate. Before my taper I was working in a high stress but high paying 9-5 Government role, and now my taper is complete and I'm feeling so good I'm looking at returning to work, not in a Government role, but working very local within health, where I'm able to engage with those who are the most vulnerable, a role where you can really assist people and is truly rewarding.

 

Thank you

 

I would like to say a very big thank you to all of those who I've spoken with on BB. I'm very respectful and thankful that this site is available to all. Special thanks goes out to Diaz-Pam, SG57, builder, Moodle, and Mark Murphy, thanks for all the replies to my many questions over the time 

 

Edit: Fixed grammar mistake.

Sorry to reply to an older thread, but was just wondering if the OP wouldn't mind describing his throat issues to me in a little more detail. I'm going threw a very similar thing and may have up my dose of what I take for sleep to also squash the throat spasms.  I see an ENT tomorrow to hopefully confirm the diagnosis.  My

cricopharyngeal spasms where self diagnosed because I notice significant improvement almost resolution of symptoms when I took my night xanax dose.  I dread taking any more than needed, but it's tough to get through my day with the horrendous throat issues. Any more info on your past throat symptoms would be appreciated!

I've not returned to this thread in a while and have just seen your comment now. PM sent calmingfallday.