Ativan w/d and valium

Hi, I'm glad to have found this forum. I've been taking Ativan for about 3 years now. My prescription is 1 mg but I usually would take .5 mg. I was always concerned about addiction so, every 2-4 weeks I used to go 3 days without taking anything. Often I would only take .25 mg. Anyway, I found out that, even though I was going 3 days without taking anything (once or twice a month I did this), I never gave my brain time to readjust and heal. At least that's how I see it now... I really thought that if I went 3 days I was in the clear. But a few days ago I woke up in the middle of the night in acute withdrawal: shirt soaked in sweat, heart racing, some vertigo feelings, intense anxiety, nausea, etcetera... This would have been a few hours before my 5th day without any Ativan. I was shocked to learn that withdrawal can be much worse from day 4-7. I took a 1/6th of a mg thinking that would end it. Got me back to bed but the next day I still felt withdrawal.

I switched to valium to do a taper like I read in the Dr. Ashton manual. Took 4mg the first day, 3 mg the second, and around 2.7 today. This is my 8th day without ativan and I still feel "edgey" and strange but not horrible.

Since my acute symptoms didn't come on until right before day 5, do I really need to do a month or two months of tapering off the valium? I'm just really surprised at how anxious and strange I still feel-- I'm really surprised at how addicted I was to the Ativan! I really feel/see that addiction now. Now I feel scared that I'm becoming addicted to the valium by taking it every day and tapering it.

I think I'm getting a little long winded here as I write this... My apologies! Part of it is just the weird feelings I have from being off the ativan. I'm surprised at how odd I feel, even with the valium. I guess I'm just kind of scared. Never done this before. I didn't think low dose Ativan would get me like this... Thanks to anyone who takes the time read or reply.

Hello 4s5gr8n, and welcome to the forum!

You'll find plenty of information and support here.  Our members have gone through all aspects of withdrawal, and you're likely to see  people who understand what you're going through and can tell you what has worked for them.  For those who are currently tapering, we suggest reducing no faster than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  One exception: very short-term users of a few weeks or less may be able to taper faster than that.

Here are a few links you may find useful:

Withdrawal Support Board

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms in Chapter III, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

Again, welcome!

Thank you for the warm welcome and thoughtful reply. In the Ashton taper schedule, she says to go from 3 mg Valium to 2mg, to 1mg; staying at each dose for 1-2 weeks. I've also seen a YouTube video where she basically says to go at your own pace and not be in a rush. What a fantastic doctor compared to most! Most doctors strike me as very judgmental and arrogant... Which is not helpful when a person suffers from anxiety, shame, etc...

My real concern with tapering off 3mg with 5-10% reductions per week or two is that I may be taking it so long that I give myself more of a "habit" than I'd have otherwise. I'm going to read your story later since it definitely seems you talk from experience which I really appreciate!

I'm glad I'm able to use the valium to taper but I just don't want to overdo it as far as duration goes. 

I started exercising every day again and that is REALLY helping! I can only imagine what people on much higher doses go through. My brief experience with acute symptoms scared the heck out of me... I just hope I'm not babying myself too much or drawing it out too long. But, in the end, I just hope to gain more resilience  to anxiety and stress.