increase in memories (sometimes vivid)

Hi all,

 

I've been working on my taper for a while now and I'm at 8 mg of valium per day. It's been slow going but I have noticed that at each cut (particularly from 15mg) my memories are coming back.

I took bento's to stop panic and fear and of course my symptoms have returned. I haven't anticipated my memories (both good and bad) coming back sometimes in a vivid way. I'm hesitant about my next cut as I notice that my past trauma is comes up and it is a challenge to process it.

 

I'm wondering if there is anyone on the forum who has taken bento's for trauma and has experience in practices in the withdrawing from them?

 

All the best,

Cg

Yes Cg! It's an absolute nightmare!  Literally! When I first went into withdrawal the intrusive PTSD memories came flooding through like a super fast slideshow! At first it was all bad! Then it turned into a mixture of all my memories from being a teeny child to a few years ago. Then it turned into all good memories and at a slower rate. Just hang in there!  It will get better! If you can hold for awhile it might help! Good luck!

I just posted this to somebody else but I think I meant to post it to you! What you're going through is totally normal!  This is from the Ashton  manual:

 

"Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

 

Poor memory and concentration are also features of benzodiazepine withdrawal, and are probably due to continued effects of the drug. Mentors should be prepared to repeat encouragements again and again, week after week, as their words are soon forgotten."

 

 

 

Yes, and the the above post is worth bookmarking!

 

This happened to me about six weeks ago - it was horrific, but it began to improve at some point.

 

The biggest change for the better has been since I jumped ten days ago, but the improvements also happened as I reduced the benzos.

Thank you, Timber1!

 

It is a challenge and I'm happy to hear it does get easier. At the moment, it's a challenge to process but it will get easier.

I find varying my day with different activities helps - creative and physical. This way there is a possibility of balance and I suspect balance to be a fine platform for processing memories.

Thank you again for your response.

 

Thank you, LeslieAsh. It is heartening to hear that it does improve.

I am tapering slowly but I think it is important for each to go at ones own pace.

 

Thank you,

CG

 

 

I just posted this to somebody else but I think I meant to post it to you! What you're going through is totally normal!  This is from the Ashton  manual:

 

"Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

 

Poor memory and concentration are also features of benzodiazepine withdrawal, and are probably due to continued effects of the drug. Mentors should be prepared to repeat encouragements again and again, week after week, as their words are soon forgotten."

 

Wow 

 

I do not have PTSD but in the past year I've been dreaming about one person from my past, over and over. I have no idea why this person, and it's not a recurring dream either. I guess that's my brain trying to function? Thank you for sharing this quote from the Ashton Manual  :thumbsup:

 

Timber, I can only imagine... hang in there!!!

CJ7 you have hit the nail exactly on the head for me. That is literally the only symptom I have had, along with the depression its brought. Each time I cut the trauma would get stuck in my head 24/7. Shocking to deal with. Since reaching the 2mg mark it has not gone away. Not as severe as it used to be with early cuts but now its constant. So its been about 3 months of reliving a trauma 24/7. Insane what this stuff can do! Im hoping now that ive jumped things start to clear up soon.

 

Sorry, not trying to scare you. Its just how its gone for me. But I can totally relate to that symptom in a big way.

I personally, think it is a sign that your brain trying to heal. It goes nuts trying to do so, but it gets much better.

Last night was really odd. I've been sleeping tons but was absolutely awake and lucid and could not shake the feeling that I was somehow back in time, in my room from high school age, exactly the way it had been then... But in real time, present time/now time. It was wild. I didn't want to feel life as if I were back there at that exact time. It felt like I'd time travelled. Now I'm really grateful not to even have the opportunity to go back/do-over the past,... My life was very overwhelming for me at that age. I'm not surprised I made the decisions I did and that things went the way they went and not "better" somehow. In fact, my faith is re-affirmed in that I survived the life circumstances I have had and that things went as well as they have... Which would not seem that great unless now seen from the perspective I got last night. Really out there experience.

 

Love,

a

Sound strange to me. But then again, benzos do all sorts of weird things. I'm sure those dreams will go away.