Klonopin Withdrawal - Barely making it, today's the worst so far - need support!

Hi all! I'm a newbie and no offense to anyone here, but I hope I don't need to be here long term. I popped my last 2mg Klonopin about 7 days ago. I'm not sure of the exact day. I very stupidly got 60 pills from a friend who didn't need them (lucky her!) and if I had to guess, I'm thinking I popped about 6 mgs before bed at the highest to help me sleep, and before my last pill I was probably at about 2 mgs every other day, if even that much. With that erratic schedule I've been on this for about the last 3 months. Now I think I get why I was able to use them so infrequently. I didn't start feeling anxious until probably about 3 days later, but for me it crept in rather slow and I didn't recognize it for what it was, although I should have! I know better!

 

Back in May I went through killer Xanax withdrawal. That I had a prescription for that I let build up over a year. I used to treat benzo's with respect. With Xanax I truly did take them only as needed. I needed them so rarely but I liked having them on hand. I kept getting refills but not using them cause til I had built up quite a supply. Then one night, I couldn't sleep and popped one. It worked great! Then slowly but surely, seeing my plentiful supply, I got careless and began popping them every night just to drop off faster. Of course over time your body works up a dependence, which is where I ended up, and pretty soon I was taking 6 to 8 mgs a day, for about 6 months. I tried stopping cold turkey when I ran out and about lost it, but fortunately ran across 10 more pills which I tapered over the next 2 weeks. It worked well. 3 days after my last dose I hit a peak of anxiety but held on. It lasted for 3 days straight then slowly started to die down and dissipate. I was much better after 2 weeks, pretty much normal and so much less tired!! That's absolutely miraculous considering the high dose I'd been taking.

 

So you think I would have learned my lesson, but nooooo... I still couldn't sleep once in a while so when my friend suggested I take her supply of Klonopin home I jumped at the chance. I remember reading how Klonopin was so much safer and less addictive than Xanax and figured I could handle it just fine. How stupid!!! A benzo is a benzo! However if I can count on my benzo detox process working about the same as last time, then I'd guess I'm at my peak right now and it will slowly die down over the next 2 weeks. I don't have the luxury of tapering this time, I'm completely out. I do have a script for Xanax somewhere but it would take me a while to find it and I'm not even sure if it's still good. I also just don't want to go back down that road again. Using Xanax to taper off of Klonopin seems like a bad idea. So for now I'm just trying to knuckle through this. Although after reading some other posts, I realize how fortunate I am that I'm only dealing with a small handful of symptoms.

 

Here's what I've been facing the last 3 days. I just have to get this off my chest!

 

Pit in my stomach - During the day it's constant but seems to get better early evening only to return before bed. This one's the worst!

Lack of motivation - I work from home but just CAN NOT FOCUS! I've only done a trickle of work the last few days

Anxiety - pointless worry, would any withdrawal be complete without it? I know I absolutely HAVE to get some work done, which is only adding to this.

Loss of appetite - I don't really care about this but I do force a little food down when my stomach growls. I'm also trying to keep my blood sugar steady.

No decent sleep - I toss and turn all night. I do sleep, but wake up about once an hour for around 20 minutes.

Numbness/Tingling - This has been mild, but still noticeable.

Headache - This was at it's peak yesterday and now is completely gone.

Crying spells - about once or twice a day

 

Things I've tried:

 

Exercise - this has worked well in the past but not today. It seems to have made no difference and I really pushed it.  :'(

Valerian root - I don't think it's helping. In fact, I'm wondering if it's what's making me so bad today (since I took it last night.) Or it could just be the withdrawal peaking. Either way, I don't plan to take it tonight.

Relaxation CD's - Helped yesterday, but last night and today it was completely useless.

Distraction - Again, not helping today. I can't focus on anything long enough to distract myself!

Other stuff too but I can't remember it all.

 

Like I said, today is just not a good day.  I never dreamed I'd feel this bad coming off this stuff. It's every bit as bad as coming down off of Xanax was, if not worse. My only hope and prayer this is that today is the peak of everything and that tomorrow will be better, and that it will continue to get better from there, like last time. It's also possible that I was never fully detoxed off of Xanax and taking Klonopin woke that up again or something, although I was feeling completely normal for a couple of months so I'm not sure.

 

If anyone knows of anything non-benzo related that might help get rid of this climbing up the walls feeling, I'm desperate! Also if anyone has detoxed off of benzos more than once and can share their experience (if both times were similar in symptoms) then that might help me figure this out. I really, really hope I can come down off this stuff as quickly as I did with Xanax. Don't get me wrong, it was a rough ride! But considering my high dose and my crash and burn taper (.5 mgs for a week then .25 mgs for a week) 2 weeks of drama peaking at the third day then getting better daily was a tiny price to pay.

 

Odd, maybe it's because the morning is gone or maybe just typing this out has helped, but I'm already feeling a little motivated. Off to the shower while I've got the strength to manage! Oh please let this be a sign of improvement!!!

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, Jenna. 

 

I'd say you are doing amazingly well for having stopped at 2mg Klonopin.  I don't know if this experience will be similar to when you quit xanax but I hope so.  Generally, benzo withdrawal is pretty unpredictable.

 

There are some great tips on the Anxiety board and we also have an Insomnia board.  This is a link to one of the threads about reducing anxiety:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=13001.msg180729#msg180729

 

I also listened to relaxation CDs when I had trouble getting - or getting back to - sleep.  I also used some with environmental sounds, like the ocean or rain, so I could use some active imagination to take myself somewhere more relaxing in my mind.  And lots of slow controlled belly breathing. 

 

Good luck to you and call out if we can be of help.

 

 

Thank you so much for your reply! Just hearing that I'm doing well for a 2mg withdrawal makes me feel a ton better. Another thing that I think might be helping (or could be a placebo effect, but I don't care) is that I put on one of those BreatheRight Nose strips. I just started using them at night hoping they'd help me sleep. My nose is a tad narrow and I've never been able to get a real good full breath through my nose unless I sit and make myself. I'm telling you what, I put one on before my post above and by the end of the post, I was feeling better. I then removed it for my shower and by the end of the shower, was feeling bad again. I just now put a new one on and oddly enough, I'm feeling better again! I look ridiculous but I don't care. I'm out of bed and actually focused enough to start working some, a task that seemed impossible an hour ago. In fact, I'm actually feeling calm for the first time today.

 

I did call my doctor and make an appointment. It's next Tuesday. I'll either be on my way out of this by then or, worst case scenario, I'll go ahead and ask him for a 15 day supply of .25 mg Xanax to help me taper off. Probably not the best solution but I know I can manage a taper. Either way I need to go in to manage my Celexa.

 

Although I'm seriously considering Lamictal again. I'm Bipolar II and my husband has complained that I've been super moody these past few months. I do think a big part of that had to do with the addiction to benzos. He knew I was having withdrawal issues with Xanax but never having dealt with anxiety issues himself he never really understood what I was going through. This time around I just told him I've been feeling "anxious" but not the reason behind it. He would NOT be happy with me, and understandably so. But either way, it might be time to get back on the right med for my condition. I haven't been on it in years as an insurance change had me leaving my psychiatrist and I didn't want to see a different one, but I have much better insurance now. I think it's time for me to just grow up and do it.

 

Wow, I am simply amazed at the difference between my original post and now! Amazing! I'm going to post the BreatheRight tip on the support board too.

 

 

 

 

Hi Jenna, you're "relationship" with with klonocrap sounds similar to mine.

He knew I was having withdrawal issues with Xanax but never having dealt with anxiety issues himself he never really understood what I was going through.

 

I get this a lot from my girlfriend. She just doesn't get it - she thinks she does, but she doesn't get it because she's never been through it and it's something you can't really imagine until it happens to you.

 

2 years ago I would have thought I could understand without being able to understand - I'd react pretty much the same way she does, and think that my normal levels of anxiety were comparable to what someone with an anxiety problem feels.

 

The only reason I know the difference is because I pretty much live in both worlds - I'll wake up in the morning after a good sleep and feel totally normal, the way I did my whole life until recently, and by the end of the day I'll be ridden with anxiety. In the morning it feels so alien that I'd never be able to imagine it if I didn't know first hand.

Jenna- I moved your thread here...think you will get more responses then in the anxiety section.

 

Just Breathe

Thank you JB! 

 

Edward, I completely hear you. Last night I finally did tell my DH I was feeling very anxious, but didn't go into detail. He asked how he could help and I told him to stop "updating" me on the latest news headlines as they are usually about something negative. He looked at me like I was really weird but did agree. I guess you just don't truly get it unless you've been there.

 

Okay, so to update, cause I'm sure everyone is just at the edge of their seats.  Today has been a little bit BETTER! Thank goodness!! The morning was rough and I thought I was in for more drama, but much to my surprise I got a motivation kick around 10:30, earlier than yesterday, then showered, exercised, worked and am even going grocer shopping in a bit. I can honestly say that for about the last two hours I've been so busy doing other things I haven't been the least bit anxious. Once you get a taste of it, you don't take "normal" for granted!!

 

I still have the pit occasionally but I've been using EFT tapping info I got off of YouTube to alleviate it. I seems like a bunch of baloney to me but it does get rid of the pit so who am I to argue? The most helpful "tapping point" has been the side of the hand, right at the wrist joint just below the "karate chop" point, (right where it bends.) Supposedly that point is specifically for anxiety. I tapped that puppy all morning while reciting, "I deeply love and accept myself. Everything is just fine. I will be perfectly safe." There's a lot of skeptics who think this is just a distraction which is why it helps, but I don't care if that's the case cause it's helping! One of my main problems yesterday was being unable to focus long enough to distract myself. But since the tapping keeps my hands busy and the reciting keeps my mind busy, I have no choice but to STOP the negative thought process.

 

Another quick tip that my former Psychologist taught me is keeping a thin rubber band around your wrist, and when the negative thoughts start in, quickly snap it three times while thinking, "Stop. Stop. Stop." Then imagining a peaceful scene like a beach or recalling a pleasant memory. This works for me with less intense anxiety, but when I've got that heart pounding, sweating, pit-in-the-stomach, climbing up the walls feeling, I tap. It makes me feel proactive instead of helpless.

 

I'm still tossing and turning, so I don't think the Valerian Root was making things worse. I took two capsules to test it out late this morning and have had no negative effects at all, in fact, I'm not as restless so it might be helping. Either way, everyone needs to be aware that some people think herbal supplements can actually make symptoms worse so it's not something I'd recommend without doctor approval.

 

Mornings and bedtime (just before sleeping) are definitely the worst. I've checkout out the "Morning Anxiety" thread and am already implementing some of the tips. It's also very depressing in general cause it's been rainy and dreary out all week. Knowing how bummed I usually get in the winter, I finally broke down and ordered one of those sun lamp therapy lights. I read that Bipolar users have the best results when using the light mid day so that's what I'll try first. I'm also thinking about getting another floor lamp to brighten my work area a bit. My "office" is in our furnished basement and even in full sun the tiny windows don't allow a lot of light. I'm hoping these small steps will really help with the winter blues. The last thing I want to do is walk out of the anxiety right into a cloud of depression!

 

Hi Jenna:

 

Your suggestions for anxiety are brilliant.  I am going to get a rubberband right now.

 

ntw

Once you get a taste of it, you don't take "normal" for granted!!

 

So true. I'm 27 and I feel like my life has been pretty much robbed from me - there are worse things that could happen yet this anxiety just rots you from the inside and ruins so many things.

What's your story, Edward? (If you don't mind my asking.)

wow.  i have no words of advice or help.  i just wanted to say that this thread really helped me.  im coming out of the most inexplicable crying jag about an hour ago, just stood in the corner sobbing for no reason whatsoever, and reading this has made me feel so much better.  i am not crazy!

Hi Jenna,

Glad your feeling better! 

Just wanted to welcome you here and say congratulations to getting off the klonocide! 

I was on 2mg of Klono for abot 6 years and never dreamed it would be addicting or have the horrendous side effects on people.

 

I am almost off now due to the wonderful support I have found on this board...and I will never touch another drug for the rest of my life if I can help it! 

 

One thing I am doing besides deep breathing and listening to Cd's is sucking on Hall's naturals cough drops in peach:)

 

They make my nasal passages more open and makes me 'more' mindful of my breathing. Seems like I am taking deeper breaths:)

Best wishes on your healing and I hope you keep us updated:)

XXXXXX

Shelley

You haven't posted for a few days. After reading your posts I am wondering how you are doing. I am new to this site as of 11/15/09. I discovered the tapping videos too — and also think they help. Something about that mind/body connection that the benzo has taken from us. Anything that may help restore or reset those pathways that is a non-drug solution sounds good to me! Hope you are doing well!