Set the controls for the heart of the sun

So here's my story. I'll just use bullet points for the things i can remember well. There's a lot more i'm not remembering, but you get the point.

 

 

I've had Meniere's disease for over a decade. I took Valium when needed during an attack, but it was sedating, so i never took more than one.

 

In 2010, my menieres became unbearable, so i had a labyrinthectomy. It is pretty major surgery, and destroys the balance system in your ears. You have to learn how to walk again, among other things. You are typically given Ativan or Klonopin to help with the spins that go on for days after the surgery. I was given 16 mg.

 

Over the next few months, i learned to walk again and tapered my dose down to 3 mg or so. I think i reached 2.75 mg before i crashed hard. Hit with depression and panic disorder like a hammer and had to updose briefly and then hold for a year or so.

 

A year or so later, i tried to taper again. 10% cut and holds, etc. Very painful. Lots of crashes, holds, updosing. It was a mess, and i don't even pretend to remember much. This was mixed with the surgery not working 100% and my still having heavy dizziness and vertigo.

 

A couple years ago, i seriously tried to taper. Got down to .75 mg per day. Brutal crash at the end of that, and updosed again.

 

Once, i made it down to .25 mg and then crashed. Updosed to .75 mg again. I know. Stupid. But i didn't have a good doctor or much good info to work with.

 

A bit of good news among this. I found an antiviral regimen that basically cured my Meniere's. So at least i wasn't having to deal with that crap anymore.

 

Last year, i made it to .10 mg, and then crashed hard. Updosed back to .25 mg. Held until July 2015. Tried to taper again and made it to .08 mg. Crashed again.

 

I had a complete psychotic break for 3 days and lost all sense of where i was or who i was. I should have been locked up. My wife covered for me. I don't know if she knew was was wrong, but she didn't want me locked up.

 

But i have a kid and that kept me going somehow.

 

I came here in the late Fall and found posts by Builder and SG about microtapering. That sounded like a good last chance, so i made up my formula, updosed slightly, held for a week on the liquid, and then started a final 100-day taper off of .125 mg.

 

The miracle began. My symptoms all went away. I had zero symptoms through that final daily microtaper. I was going slow (.001 mg per day), and fought every urge to speed up. I had learned the hard way not to speed up.

 

On Day 94, i stepped off at .006 mg of K. I have had no post-taper withdrawal. None at all. I feel great. I feel 100%. Today is 2 months. I believe i am finally free of this mess. I sit here crying in relief.

 

 

I owe it all to microtapering. If i sound like a microtapering evangelist on the forums, this is the reason why. You all know that it's impossible to describe hell in writing. But you also know what i went through, because you've been there. I only want to help others get through.

 

If you're still struggling, consider a daily liquid microtaper. It set me free. 

 

 

Edit:Content against forum policy and guidelines removed.

inspiring. thank you

Shine on You crazy Diamond...

Just trying to follow your story--when did the 6 month hold for stabilization occur?  Was that before your microtaper?  Everyone tells me once I stabilize the microtaper will be much much easier. Thanks

Massive congratulations are in order! I wish you all the best! Thanks so much for sharing your story, Crash Bandicoot. 

Way to go, Crash!  100% well as your taper ended...that's amazing.  Thank you for documenting this.

Challis 

100% healed that's absolutely awesome

Thanks, everyone! 

 

Just trying to follow your story--when did the 6 month hold for stabilization occur?  Was that before your microtaper?  Everyone tells me once I stabilize the microtaper will be much much easier. Thanks

 

There were a couple, but the last one was last year, i made it to .10 mg, and then crashed hard. Updosed back to .25 mg. Held until July 2015. 

Congratulations on your healing.  That's amazing! 

I wish you continued success and a lifetime of health and happiness.  

Thank you! 

Shine on You crazy Diamond...

 

 

i use to  have this lyric on my avatar. love it. Crash, i can't tell you how jealous i become to hear micro-tapering stories like yours' but is really awesome and i am so happy that you're feeling well and gotten rid off the Meniere's. i so wish i had micro-tapered instead of doing 16 cold turkey's. thanks for educating this forum of how to get off this drug safely.

Are you doing ok now? I don't think I could have cold turkeyed! You must be very strong!

Crash..... Thank you so much for sharing..... Even though I am extremely symptomatic, sensitive and paradoxical I am praying everyday for this to help..... It's because of you I am micro tapering..... You SG and Builder have been so gracious kind and lifesavers.....

 

By the way, I am very sorry I hijacked your original thread.....  Please forgive me .....That was not my intention....

Crash..... Thank you so much for sharing..... Even though I am extremely symptomatic, sensitive and paradoxical I am praying everyday for this to help..... It's because of you I am micro tapering..... You SG and Builder have been so gracious kind and lifesavers.....

 

By the way, I am very sorry I hijacked your original thread.....  Please forgive me .....That was not my intention....

 

Keep us posted on the microtapering. Just take it slow and easy. 

glad to read you're 100% 

Grats crash!  I agree on the micro tapering.  It made my last 3mg manageable and less painful.  Not symptom free but I can live my life.

 

You're tough man.

glad to read you're 100% 

 

Thanks! 

Shine on You crazy Diamond...

 

Grats crash!  I agree on the micro tapering.  It made my last 3mg manageable and less painful.  Not symptom free but I can live my life.

 

You're tough man.

 

Glad to hear that it's better for you! 

I am suspecting that a virus is the culprit of my inner ear dysfunction.  Can you tell me what anti viral protocol you did that helped you?  Thanks and congrats!

I am suspecting that a virus is the culprit of my inner ear dysfunction.  Can you tell me what anti viral protocol you did that helped you?  Thanks and congrats!

 

Read this paper. Dr. Gacek is the leading guy on this stuff. His son also has success with it, as does the Tampa Bay Hearing and Balance Center, and House Clinic in L.A.

 

http://www.mm3admin.co.za/documents/docmanager/6e64f7e1-715e-4fd6-8315-424683839664/00056616.pdf

 

Unfortunately, some ENTs are really ignorant about this and won't script it out. I suspect it's because they can't get paid for their expensive procedures (my surgery was $40,000), and/or are just arrogant.

 

The good news is that ANY doctor can script it. I get mine from my primary. 

Are you doing ok now? I don't think I could have cold turkeyed! You must be very strong!

 

 

wasn't sure you are talking to me, but think you are. i think i am a pretty strong person to have endured this last cold turkey as we as all the other cold turkey's and rapid tapers. and very large amount with also doing a cold turkey from 1750mg soma as well. i am 4 years since the c/t and have made some good improvements but still not functional, house bound and mostly couch bound still if you can believe. i still need a ton of rest and cannot do any physical activity except for a short daily walk and even that is iffy at times. i feel like i did an amazing amount of damage and will never fully heal but i speak to Una Corbett who is founder and director of bataid/org who also did a cold turkey -- she recovered in 5 years and promise's me that i will recover from this. she says the norm for cold turkey/rapid tapers and even some people who tapered properly is 5-7 years. i'm sure you will not be in that category. i can't tell you how much i wish i did what you did.

Are you doing ok now? I don't think I could have cold turkeyed! You must be very strong!

 

 

wasn't sure you are talking to me, but think you are. i think i am a pretty strong person to have endured this last cold turkey as we as all the other cold turkey's and rapid tapers. and very large amount with also doing a cold turkey from 1750mg soma as well. i am 4 years since the c/t and have made some good improvements but still not functional, house bound and mostly couch bound still if you can believe. i still need a ton of rest and cannot do any physical activity except for a short daily walk and even that is iffy at times. i feel like i did an amazing amount of damage and will never fully heal but i speak to Una Corbett who is founder and director of bataid/org who also did a cold turkey -- she recovered in 5 years and promise's me that i will recover from this. she says the norm for cold turkey/rapid tapers and even some people who tapered properly is 5-7 years. i'm sure you will not be in that category. i can't tell you how much i wish i did what you did.

 

I spent 5 years total tapering from it. So maybe it all averages out! 

Are you doing ok now? I don't think I could have cold turkeyed! You must be very strong!

 

 

wasn't sure you are talking to me, but think you are. i think i am a pretty strong person to have endured this last cold turkey as we as all the other cold turkey's and rapid tapers. and very large amount with also doing a cold turkey from 1750mg soma as well. i am 4 years since the c/t and have made some good improvements but still not functional, house bound and mostly couch bound still if you can believe. i still need a ton of rest and cannot do any physical activity except for a short daily walk and even that is iffy at times. i feel like i did an amazing amount of damage and will never fully heal but i speak to Una Corbett who is founder and director of bataid/org who also did a cold turkey -- she recovered in 5 years and promise's me that i will recover from this. she says the norm for cold turkey/rapid tapers and even some people who tapered properly is 5-7 years. i'm sure you will not be in that category. i can't tell you how much i wish i did what you did.

 

I spent 5 years total tapering from it. So maybe it all averages out! 

 

 

but that is so great. that's the way it should be done. i didn't know about a slow taper until i got here. i spent ten years trying to taper and couldn't. had to do what i had to do in order to be free from benzos.

Hey crash, do you know the buddie hiphopanonymous? Maybe you could give him some encouragement about microtapering?