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The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club


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There seems to be quite a few of us on here and our other thread (3-4 month club) is closing out as some of our members come up on being past the 4 month mark.  This will be the place for all of us that jumped from December-February to come talk and keep in contact. Good luck to everyone!
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Well here I am. Big wave, worst since jumping. This morning I wish someone would put me out of my misery. The internal vibes and cement head and crying were a trifecta that has kept me hunkered down all day. I took magnesium last night and have no idea if it made things worse, but

I'll do without tonight in case it did. I've seen a pattern relating to my menstrual cycle and thought this past week would be OK, but it's not. So I feel a bit lost and isolated. My head is clearing a bit and the vibes died down. Be nice if it just all went away.

 

Big hugs to everyone on the path.

Bennie

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Hey BennieJets- I have the same lady week crap going on over here too, although, this month is nowhere near as bad as last month. I just have an increase in anxiety as compared to a few days ago. Pain too but we all know that's the name of the game, not benzo recovery.

 

I had a lot of vivid dreams last night and believe this to be my brain healing. They weren't even scary!

 

Off to school for me for now. I'll be back later.

 

Thanks for making us this new group EricSS !! I'm sure everyone else will find their way over soon.

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Hi All

I went accidentally c/t from clonazepam in this February, so this is the right place for me?

 

If so, my windows have stopped. I didn't get Tinnitus since I was 6 weeks off and now I'm confused if this is related to w/d. I had two vertigo attacks(I never had before benzos) in a row and other day I had T and it is still with me. Do you think it is related to c/t? I checked my ears and they came perfect.

 

:'(

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Hi All

I went accidentally c/t from clonazepam in this February, so this is the right place for me?

 

If so, my windows have stopped. I didn't get Tinnitus since I was 6 weeks off and now I'm confused if this is related to w/d. I had two vertigo attacks(I never had before benzos) in a row and other day I had T and it is still with me. Do you think it is related to c/t? I checked my ears and they came perfect.

 

:'(

 

Sounds like acute withdrawal symptoms. Sorry about that. I understand.

 

The Klonopin Klub Support Group would welcome you as well.

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Hi All

I went accidentally c/t from clonazepam in this February, so this is the right place for me?

 

If so, my windows have stopped. I didn't get Tinnitus since I was 6 weeks off and now I'm confused if this is related to w/d. I had two vertigo attacks(I never had before benzos) in a row and other day I had T and it is still with me. Do you think it is related to c/t? I checked my ears and they came perfect.

 

:'(

 

Sounds like acute withdrawal symptoms. Sorry about that. I understand.

 

The Klonopin Klub Support Group would welcome you as well.

 

Hi Benniejets

 

Yeah, I think I'm still in acute phase and it is really bothersome. Also thnak you for the suggestion. I'll write my story over there  :)

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Well here I am. Big wave, worst since jumping. This morning I wish someone would put me out of my misery. The internal vibes and cement head and crying were a trifecta that has kept me hunkered down all day. I took magnesium last night and have no idea if it made things worse, but

I'll do without tonight in case it did. I've seen a pattern relating to my menstrual cycle and thought this past week would be OK, but it's not. So I feel a bit lost and isolated. My head is clearing a bit and the vibes died down. Be nice if it just all went away.

 

Big hugs to everyone on the path.

Bennie

 

I'm so sorry that you are in a bad wave!  I've heard mixed things on Magnesium.  If you search the alternative therapy board there are quite a few posts about it.  Good luck and I hope tomorrow is better!

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Hey BennieJets- I have the same lady week crap going on over here too, although, this month is nowhere near as bad as last month. I just have an increase in anxiety as compared to a few days ago. Pain too but we all know that's the name of the game, not benzo recovery.

 

I had a lot of vivid dreams last night and believe this to be my brain healing. They weren't even scary!

 

Off to school for me for now. I'll be back later.

 

Thanks for making us this new group EricSS !! I'm sure everyone else will find their way over soon.

 

No problem!  I've had many more vivid dreams as well.  It's actually one of the sxs that I tend to enjoy because mine aren't nightmares or anything.  Just normal dreams but much more vivid and detailed like you mentioned.  I'm glad to hear that this month is better than last for you.

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Hi All

I went accidentally c/t from clonazepam in this February, so this is the right place for me?

 

If so, my windows have stopped. I didn't get Tinnitus since I was 6 weeks off and now I'm confused if this is related to w/d. I had two vertigo attacks(I never had before benzos) in a row and other day I had T and it is still with me. Do you think it is related to c/t? I checked my ears and they came perfect.

 

:'(

 

Like mentioned the K club is a great spot for you as well but by all means please feel free to post in here too!  The more the merrier.  Good luck!!

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Hi All

I went accidentally c/t from clonazepam in this February, so this is the right place for me?

 

If so, my windows have stopped. I didn't get Tinnitus since I was 6 weeks off and now I'm confused if this is related to w/d. I had two vertigo attacks(I never had before benzos) in a row and other day I had T and it is still with me. Do you think it is related to c/t? I checked my ears and they came perfect.

 

:'(

 

Like mentioned the K club is a great spot for you as well but by all means please feel free to post in here too!  The more the merrier.  Good luck!!

 

I have dual citizenship.  ;)

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Hi:

 

Can I join? I finished my K taper on Dec. 22. Now having major trouble with my Valium. Ugh. I saw my pdoc today as I could not understand why and then told him my symptoms and he said I have delayed acute now. I sleep great for a few nights, and then Zap! No sleep at all. The last Valium cut was very tiny~~1 mg, and I had brain zaps, no sleep, bad anxiety and RLS. It sucked as I wasn't prepared for this because I had no symptoms in my K taper. Plus, I just found out that my surgeon botched my knee surgery so I had to have another operation. And I am in the midst of quitting ciggies. I feel much healthier w/o that poison but it is not easy. So delayed? Well, I have heard a bit about that but never thought it would happen to me. So I am  gonna make a test cut of only .5 mg, and see what happens. If it doesn't bother me, I will make larger cuts. This is such a great idea for a thread and I'm glad the OP started it. I'll be sure to be back, if you'll take me in. Great thread!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

 

Bets

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Hi:

 

Can I join? I finished my K taper on Dec. 22. Now having major trouble with my Valium. Ugh. I saw my pdoc today as I could not understand why and then told him my symptoms and he said I have delayed acute now. I sleep great for a few nights, and then Zap! No sleep at all. The last Valium cut was very tiny~~1 mg, and I had brain zaps, no sleep, bad anxiety and RLS. It sucked as I wasn't prepared for this because I had no symptoms in my K taper. Plus, I just found out that my surgeon botched my knee surgery so I had to have another operation. And I am in the midst of quitting ciggies. I feel much healthier w/o that poison but it is not easy. So delayed? Well, I have heard a bit about that but never thought it would happen to me. So I am  gonna make a test cut of only .5 mg, and see what happens. If it doesn't bother me, I will make larger cuts. This is such a great idea for a thread and I'm glad the OP started it. I'll be sure to be back, if you'll take me in. Great thread!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

 

Bets

 

Hello and you are more than welcome here!  Congrats on at least getting rid of the K!  I'm surprised that 1mg of V at a dosage of 70mg made such a huge impact.  How often after you cut do you usually feel your cuts?  I felt mine on day 8 without fail so I must have been a slow metabolizer of Valium.  My second month after I jumped from V was definitely harder than my first.  Good luck!!!

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Hey old The 3-4 months out support thread- people!

I actually took my last oxazepam in midst November, but didn't stop my use of zopiclone until December 20.

One suspects this stuff being in the same category as benzodiazepin.

 

I promised you to tell you about my day.

Some of you are a bit confused about time. Here in Norway, it is now 11:30 pm. Six hours in front of New York.

 

My window started yesterday at 21:45. pm.

I knew I had a fair chance to wake up still in that window. It happened.

And today I have constantly had deep exhalations, repeating this '"Å faen". This is negative, and a swearing, but my meaning is vice versa ;-)

Just the feeling of being alive again after those terrible thirteen months is indescribable.

My day was just as normal as the one I described three days ago. Doing a lot of small things.

Plus: Playing an singing a concert. Imagine how it feels after having done several gigs in withdrawal hell playing in/on/of (?) defiance. That is difficult, and it kind of hurts. Today it did not hurt. It was wonderful.

 

After that I went further to a rehearsal with a new band. We are doing a concert on Sunday in twelve days. I'm asked to join in of one of my good friends. They have only seen me in waves. Not today. Lovely!

 

And/but: I'm more than prepared of this: Tomorrow morning I will wake up in a new wave.

I say to myself (and my wife says it): Try to think of the good things that has happened the last week, and try to relax during the new wave. I know. But it is impossible when it strikes. Totally impossible. I know, but it still hurts so much.

I'll try. I promise...

 

And my suffering is mainly mental. A little tinnitus, night sweating (and lack of appetite), are my only physical problems.

 

If I continue being in a window tomorrow, this will be a milestone.

I'll tell you tomorrow night.

 

So long! (My dad's cowboy expression)

 

 

 

 

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bjesti, that is awesome news that you were able to play your gig during a window!  I can imagine how good that must have made you feel.  Just keep thinking of that.  You have the same attitude I try to have.  Each bad wave is just another one behind me that I made it through.  Good luck on your other upcoming Gig as well!
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Oh Bjesti! I could hug you for having such a great attitude! I have some pretty bad anxiety and I'm on my way to school and trying to just tell myself it will all be gone so soon! The positive attitude helps us so much!! I am doing my best! I am so proud of your for playing and enjoying life! So much hope!
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Hi:

 

Can I join? I finished my K taper on Dec. 22. Now having major trouble with my Valium. Ugh. I saw my pdoc today as I could not understand why and then told him my symptoms and he said I have delayed acute now. I sleep great for a few nights, and then Zap! No sleep at all. The last Valium cut was very tiny~~1 mg, and I had brain zaps, no sleep, bad anxiety and RLS. It sucked as I wasn't prepared for this because I had no symptoms in my K taper. Plus, I just found out that my surgeon botched my knee surgery so I had to have another operation. And I am in the midst of quitting ciggies. I feel much healthier w/o that poison but it is not easy. So delayed? Well, I have heard a bit about that but never thought it would happen to me. So I am  gonna make a test cut of only .5 mg, and see what happens. If it doesn't bother me, I will make larger cuts. This is such a great idea for a thread and I'm glad the OP started it. I'll be sure to be back, if you'll take me in. Great thread!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

 

Bets

 

Hello and you are more than welcome here!  Congrats on at least getting rid of the K!  I'm surprised that 1mg of V at a dosage of 70mg made such a huge impact.  How often after you cut do you usually feel your cuts?  I felt mine on day 8 without fail so I must have been a slow metabolizer of Valium.  My second month after I jumped from V was definitely harder than my first.  Good luck!!!

 

Jeez, Bets! Crappola news all around. Can't believe your knee got botched. Oh please! I feel for you. But tell me you're not really going to cut V on top of all this? Did your Pdoc give thumbs up on that or are you testing waters yourself? Damn, girl.  :'(  Not having K taper sxs is no consolation for the present moment. Guess I'll be hanging with you here. Better buy you another robe. 

:stretcher::therethere:

Hugs, Bennie

 

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Hi:

 

Can I join? I finished my K taper on Dec. 22. Now having major trouble with my Valium. Ugh. I saw my pdoc today as I could not understand why and then told him my symptoms and he said I have delayed acute now. I sleep great for a few nights, and then Zap! No sleep at all. The last Valium cut was very tiny~~1 mg, and I had brain zaps, no sleep, bad anxiety and RLS. It sucked as I wasn't prepared for this because I had no symptoms in my K taper. Plus, I just found out that my surgeon botched my knee surgery so I had to have another operation. And I am in the midst of quitting ciggies. I feel much healthier w/o that poison but it is not easy. So delayed? Well, I have heard a bit about that but never thought it would happen to me. So I am  gonna make a test cut of only .5 mg, and see what happens. If it doesn't bother me, I will make larger cuts. This is such a great idea for a thread and I'm glad the OP started it. I'll be sure to be back, if you'll take me in. Great thread!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

 

Bets

 

Hello and you are more than welcome here!  Congrats on at least getting rid of the K!  I'm surprised that 1mg of V at a dosage of 70mg made such a huge impact.  How often after you cut do you usually feel your cuts?  I felt mine on day 8 without fail so I must have been a slow metabolizer of Valium.  My second month after I jumped from V was definitely harder than my first.  Good luck!!!

 

Jeez, Bets! Crappola news all around. Can't believe your knee got botched. Oh please! I feel for you. But tell me you're not really going to cut V on top of all this? Did your Pdoc give thumbs up on that or are you testing waters yourself? Damn, girl.  :'(  Not having K taper sxs is no consolation for the present moment. Guess I'll be hanging with you here. Better buy you another robe. 

:stretcher::therethere:

Hugs, Bennie

 

Hey Eric:

 

Its odd. My first cut was 3.5 mg. I had no sleep at all but that was it. Why the 1 mg with all of those problems? My pdoc happens to be a great one (thank God) and he said at first, for some people, after dropping one benzo and then waiting a while, still taking that 2nd benzo, can make for a problem at the beginning of your next taper because your body has gotten used to the valium and is now shocked that I had the nerve to try and drop it. Plus, I no longer have a 2nd benzo to back me up. I'm going to try again next week by .5 mg, and if that goes well I'll up my cut. I felt it on day 3 both times. I exercise a lot so I guess I gave my metabolism a booster shot. Yes, I am super to get rid of 6.5 mg  of K. Took me 26 months to get there. Now I'm getting old........Bleh.  ;) ;)

 

Hey Bennie: Yes, I do have delayed acute now. I dunno how this happened, but what the heck. It's just a matter of sleep or no sleep. I need my beauty rest. :laugh: I don't dare tell you what I told the surgeon today, as it is not allowed here. Suffice it to say I have another good one this time and surgery will be next week. This time it will be done by laser, and not cut open. Still no opiates for me. Woo hoo! Tylenol is my game. :stretcher::oXo: I hope you are feeling better. Are you lady? I did check out KK early this am but had to get things done. Needless to say, I told my surgeon not to send me a bill as I refuse to pay it. He said he won't send me one, but had the nerve to say he'll do the surgery again. Not likely. I need that robe. Pink would be nice. I'll log onto KK tomorrow as I am super stuffed from dinner with bro, and just want to lay down and veg. Pdoc told me to wait a week and then drop .5 mg. But he said it was my decision. He didn't yet know about the botched surgery. If he knew, I'm sure he would tell me to hold. But I said if I drop this slowly I'll be tapering forever. Then he replied, "well, you aren't going anywhere and I will not retire until you are healed. You are my special case." I guess he likes me now because at first, he kicked me out of his office a lot within 10 minutes of a 50 minute session and still charged me the full amount. I was joking too much and he didn't like that~~very serious guy. Now he laughs at them, as bad as they are. And you know well how bad my jokes are. :laugh: I may need that raft for my leg. :smitten: :smitten: Still, St. Bart's is my plan for the future. Wanna come?

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Bets, you DO have a great pdoc. You softened him up. I bet if he got grumpy and kicked you out, you could chalk it up to a bad day, nothing personal. As for the Tanya Harding of knee surgeons, maybe I'll read about that on your progress log. I actually thought most surgeons were doing laser these days? And what about icing after—they have these machines that send iced water into a knee wrap. But maybe just get a new leg! :D  Last bathrobe was blue, so now you can have a pink one. And I'd ask to wear it if I went to st Bart's cuz I melt in the heat and crisp like Fritos.  :o hope you get a good night sleep.

 

I hope we all get a good night sleep!

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Hi all:

 

Just checking into the new thread.

 

Thanks Eric for setting it up so clearly.

 

bjeste: you sound energized!  Good to hear.

 

Welcome all newer people.  Look forward to getting to know you.

 

Had a long, long day.  Still recovering from terrible night's sleep last night.

 

I guess, per Eric's post that there are different kind of 4 am surges.  Mine unfortunately wakes me up.  Bang!  I am suddenly awake with all sorts of negative thoughts creeping in.

 

Finally meditated and dozed off a while to dawn's early pale light.

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Welp I made it through another college class. 3 hours down. 3 weeks to go before the end of the semester.

 

I just don't understand how I can have a heart rate of 99 the entire 3 hour class, have a few adrenaline surges, some bad thoughts, feeling on the verge of panic, then I come home and feel like I'm in a window. I don't get it? Is it that I have created a negative association with the chair I sit in because I panic every single week I am there? Is it that I am being overstimulated? Or is it my THOUGHTS that are doing this time every time?

 

I tend to think it's my thoughts because I'm ok right this second!

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Bets, you DO have a great pdoc. You softened him up. I bet if he got grumpy and kicked you out, you could chalk it up to a bad day, nothing personal. As for the Tanya Harding of knee surgeons, maybe I'll read about that on your progress log. I actually thought most surgeons were doing laser these days? And what about icing after—they have these machines that send iced water into a knee wrap. But maybe just get a new leg! :D  Last bathrobe was blue, so now you can have a pink one. And I'd ask to wear it if I went to st Bart's cuz I melt in the heat and crisp like Fritos.  :o hope you get a good night sleep.

 

I hope we all get a good night sleep!

 

Hi Bennie: I cannot find the venting section.. I forgot all about Tanya.  :laugh: :laugh: I recall she lived in a trailer park. Now she can sell sporting goods. I do need to update my p log. I will do so now and then meet you on KK. I would love that Pink Robe. Such a wuss, not going to St. Bart's. :D No, I never had that iced water knee wrap. But then again I wasn't about to sit around. I left ASAP as soon as I was able to stand. I will get it this time around........

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Welp I made it through another college class. 3 hours down. 3 weeks to go before the end of the semester.

 

I just don't understand how I can have a heart rate of 99 the entire 3 hour class, have a few adrenaline surges, some bad thoughts, feeling on the verge of panic, then I come home and feel like I'm in a window. I don't get it? Is it that I have created a negative association with the chair I sit in because I panic every single week I am there? Is it that I am being overstimulated? Or is it my THOUGHTS that are doing this time every time?

 

I tend to think it's my thoughts because I'm ok right this second!

 

It very well may be your thoughts.  I know that when I take my BP at home it's pretty good and my heart rate is low 60's but as soon as I go get it taken at the doctors, it skyrockets and my pulse rate jumps to the 80's.  I obsessively think about it which makes it go up.  Ugh.  Plus, I'm sure sitting in class and taking a test is stressful for anyone so I would expect it to go up regardless.  I'm sure mine did back when I was in college.  Good luck!

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Well,  I seem to be back to my ~85% baseline that I was at prior to the horrific 24hr period I had earlier this week so I'm thinking that it was indeed food poisoning.  I'm hoping that's what it was anyway.  We'll know if it happens again.  That's the problem with benzo withdrawal.  It's so up and down and that's partly what makes it so frustrating.  Would you agree?  Not knowing if you are healed or not just weighs on your mind so much.  Just waiting for another wave is so taxing.
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Eric, I am very happy for you having a window. Brings me some small measure of hope.

 

I agree, the not knowing non-linear nature of this is beyond frustrating. It's dispiriting. Such a challenge to wrap my mind around. I have no idea how much of my current wave is K related, and how much is the initial issue, which was not anxiety. Sure, anxiety and panic attacks drove me to K. But the stomach and nervous system dysfunction precipitated the panic. I am actually in a bad mood at the moment. So pissed at doctors, my husband, the hideousness of this whole ordeal.

 

So I am appreciative when any of us BBs move into a better place!

 

Bennie

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Yes, benniejets, it is dispiriting.

 

I am having another really bad morning.  Is it the withdrawal? Yes, probably. 

 

Is it that yesterday was the birthday of my brother who died in 2014 of brain cancer.  Yes, probably.

 

There seems a sort of back and forth between the "internal" and the environmental.  That is hard to sort.

 

But I agree with Eric that being in a classroom can elevate BP.

 

I know it elevated mine, and I was the teacher.  In fact, teaching made me anxious.  But there were good parts to it too.

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