This is my last day on benzos....yipee. I had a colonoscopy on Monday and was a little concerned about the Versed (short acting benzo) being used to knock me out. Here's what happened:
First some backround about my 14 month taper. It's been long and hard with many w/d symptoms. Some windows a day here and there during it all. For the past 3 weeks I've felt totally normal, a BIG window or complete healing...I don't know yet but it sure is sweet.
Please note that I had a colonoscopy about 3 1/2 years ago while I still taking Xanax (3 md/day). They put the Versed in my IV and I pretty much went out. Woke for a few seconds during procedure and went back out cold again...no big deal. The day before is lousy, i.e. no food and have to drink 2 liters of some aweful stuff to flush the colon. Being in the fine long window, I handled it very well and just watched the Food Channel almost all afternoon, planning my next meal. I had fun with it. I couldn't have done that even a month ago. I arrived at the hospital at 7AM this past Monday, feeling very calm. Even laughed and joked with the nurses and my husband. Again, I could have NEVER done this a month or so ago. I could barely go to the grocery store let alone to a hospital for a procedure so this is a BIG improvement. The doctor stuck the syringe full of Versed in my IV and I waited to go "out" but I didn't. I was completely alert (no panic though) during the procedure which was not fun. I remember saying "ouch" in a loud voice several times. I complained to the doc that I was still awake and he said "That's probably because you take Xanax". (listed on my chart from 3 yrs. ago). I really didn't feel like getting into it with him about me tapering and being almost benzo free while having my butt reamed. I was aggravated that I was awake for this deal and felt like punching the Dr. because he just didn't give a crap that I was awake and uncomfortable. After we left the hospital, we went and got something to eat and I didn't feel "out of it" at all. Came home, layed down on my sofa with the TV on, closed my eyes and slept solid for a good 3 hours.
After feeling so good for 3 weeks, it was a good gage as to how this Versed would effect me. On Wednesday evening, I was cooking dinner, got real hot and pure rage rushed over me. I was real hot all evening (feet on fire) and I'm usually always freezing. I woke really early Wed morning due to vivid dreams and my heart racing. The heart racing and vivid/disturbing dreams woke me again on Thurs am and this am=Fri. This is a w/d symptom that had been with me for a long time but has been gone for about 4 months. I was able to just "observe" it as a benzo symptom and not get attached to it or panic-stricken. After getting out of bed after these 3 episodes I felt totally normal and happy to be in my "window" again.
My point? heck I don't know. I guess I'm just puzzled that I went out cold 3 years ago (I believe I was in tolerance w/d) and then being almost benzo free the second time and the stuff didn't knock me out at all except for later on the sofa. Just goes to show you, that benzo monster is unpredicable.