The Long Hold Support Group

I can see why health care professionals are avoiding hospitals. There aren't enough PPEs. What a shame and what a mess.

 

I think you're right V, it doesn't seem to be slowing down.

 

I haven't seen my Mom in almost a year (Oct).

 

How so Jwl? Is she in a home and has to avoid visitors for fear of covid you mean? I'm so glad your daughter is motivated and going to aa every day. I'm glad you found some huge veggies growing when you came back from her. Your garden sure gives you joy. I feel this last mg of Valium will not be too hard if you don't force the speed. My 2.10 though... I'm totally brain damaged. No idea if I'll ever be stable enough to taper again. If only there wasn't so much stress... But such is life.

 

She has pretty much been in isolation since this whole thing started. When my sister sees her she has to spray herself with Lysol from head to toe. I don't blame her, she's 91.

 

I'm sorry you're still having a tough time. You've been holding for 2 months? IDK you may have to keep holding. My 2 year hold was the best thing I've ever done

Melanie: I did have month where it wasn't so severe, so I'm hoping that it happens again (or better!).

I've said this before but I'll say it again...the original members of this support thread are no longer around on BB - so thats a pretty good sign of hope

 

Bonty: Is your doctor male? I feel like even a female doc would just say you had hormonal fluctuations over psychosomatic tendencies. So even if they don't want to acknowledge the benzo effects, at least "hormones" is plausible. I mean theres a ton of evidence out there for that. I'm so sorry. One of the hardest things in all this is the lack of validation for what we are going through.

You're not alone on here. WE know what it is.

trina, the psychiatrist is male and old,first I thought he validated me afterwards he  just  gave  a bunch of diagnosis,then he said don't take any other drug... at least one thing

 

Sorry about your mum Jwl. I understand how scared she must be.

 

I've held for much longer because I held since July 2019 till March 2020 (8 months). Maybe I need to hold two years like you. The crash was brutal. It's indescribable. I almost offed myself. I don't know if my brain will ever recover from that no matter how hard I hold. Of those two years, when did you stop feeling mental agitation as if there was something terribly wrong in your brain?

Thank you, Trina. That is promising. I hope we can all sail into the sunset soon and forget about the suffering.

 

I had a rough time during ovulation as well. All of this is so disheartening. For about a week I felt like I was getting better (slowly, but still), but now I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere again anxiety-wise. Anxiety is by far my worst symptom and is crippling me at night.

 

I truly hope I don’t sound terrible by saying this because I’m soooo so glad most of us on this tread are sleeping fairly well, but it worries me that there may be something very wrong with me because my nights are awful. When my anxiety is this high, I have an extremely hard time falling asleep because it can get “stuck” in this high level of fear and I just shake all night. Then I start fearing going to bed and the cycle just repeats itself. I was turning a corner on it last week, but I’m back to fearing the intensity of the anxiety and the insomnia it causes.

 

Please tell me this is normal in setbacks/withdrawal, especially around periods. And please please tell me if you’ve experienced something similar and have felt it lessen over time. I’m deep in despair tonight and need something to look forward to...

Melanie...I didn't sleep for like over a year in tolerance..the first two months after my rapid taper was bad but then started to gradually improve. My sleep definitely changes during my period (anxiety up..hard time settling, waking from upsetting dreams..).But once my hormones settles this tends to settle too.

Also in regards to sleep, some ppl just seem to have a harder time with that symptoms, whereas someone else may have bad GI issues..

TheWay is a member who had a horrible time with sleep and he usually gives a ton of encouragement on the insomnia board. So theres hope:)

 

Sorry about your mum Jwl. I understand how scared she must be.

 

I've held for much longer because I held since July 2019 till March 2020 (8 months). Maybe I need to hold two years like you. The crash was brutal. It's indescribable. I almost offed myself. I don't know if my brain will ever recover from that no matter how hard I hold. Of those two years, when did you stop feeling mental agitation as if there was something terribly wrong in your brain?

 

Oh man V, that must have been awful. I went through those times when I thought "what's the point?" The damage may seem it's permanent but I assure you it's not. Look at me a 65 year old dude with several severe concussions and years of benzo use. You're going to get through this.

 

My symptoms got better after about a year of holding

Thank you Jwl! That gives me hope. One year. I don't know though. I tell you my crash was indescribable. I was in constant terror for months, heard cicadas in my he head, could not smile even forcing it. The panic was constant. It was torture. I was in a different dimension. I call that acute wd. I thought of ending everything because the torture of the constant terror was unbearable. I could feel my brain vibrating all day and night like a car engine. I don't know if holding can fix the damage from that crash. I'll keep holding though. A physical therapist is working on my muscles and I'm improving in that area. I had others who did nothing but I finally found this one. He says he's going to make me be able to get on a horse again 😂. I'd love that. I can hardly get up from the couch without pain and having to lean on something to get up. I'm glad your garden is thriving. I can't garden much but I would definitely love to cook and eat all those veggies.

Thank you Jwl! That gives me hope. One year. I don't know though. I tell you my crash was indescribable. I was in constant terror for months, heard cicadas in my he head, could not smile even forcing it. The panic was constant. It was torture. I was in a different dimension. I call that acute wd. I thought of ending everything because the torture of the constant terror was unbearable. I could feel my brain vibrating all day and night like a car engine. I don't know if holding can fix the damage from that crash. I'll keep holding though. A physical therapist is working on my muscles and I'm improving in that area. I had others who did nothing but I finally found this one. He says he's going to make me be able to get on a horse again 😂. I'd love that. I can hardly get up from the couch without pain and having to lean on something to get up. I'm glad your garden is thriving. I can't garden much but I would definitely love to cook and eat all those veggies.

 

After my CT i went through the same thing: fear, pain, insanity, insomnia. I wish I knew then what I know now that it's glutamate gone wild.

 

That's great you found a good PT. Maybe while you're holding you can look at other therapies. Have you heard of Cranialsacral? It's too bad you can't take supplements but maybe when you've stabilize you'll be able to add some things that'll calm your CNS

Trishy I saw on the news just last night how hanging your mask on the mirror is causing lots of accidents and I don't want to be reading where you have been in one!  Stick it in the slot on your dash.  I got my flu shot today and really good scissors for Tim to cut my hair with.  begood sent a video for Tim to follow.  Keep your fingers crossed for me      Hope you and family have some safe time together this weekend.  Love you girlfriend, move that mask but don't forget it. 

Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 😘😘. 🙏🙏.    😷😷😷♥️

Guys, had few decent days.

Today I went grocery shopping, cooked lunch, vaccum the house and mowed the lawn! I would never think it would be possible again 2 months ago when I re instated.

Where is everyone? No news is good news? I'm over my wave so I'm starting my taper again. I'm at .90 mg. Sigh, this is going to take forever

 

Congrat! You are under 1mg!

 

Where is everyone? No news is good news? I'm over my wave so I'm starting my taper again. I'm at .90 mg. Sigh, this is going to take forever

 

Congrat! You are under 1mg!

 

Thanks Jasmine. I'm glad you're having more good days than bad. I bet a month ago, you probably thought it wouldn't have been possible.

I've been really depressed hearing about RBG's death.

I've been really depressed hearing about RBG's death.

 

Oh me too Jwl..  I can't watch the news.  I know she put her whole spirit into making it to the elections.  She was one incredible woman.  RIP RBG  :'(

 

Congrats on being below 1 mg!  Great job, Mary 🙋🏼

Yes she stood up for the little man. It's game over (at least in my lifetime) of seeing any progressive laws passed concerning: the environment. civil/equal rights, voter suppression, corporate dark money in politics...

Yes she stood up for the little man. It's game over (at least in my lifetime) of seeing any progressive laws passed concerning: the environment. civil rights, voter suppression, corporate dark money in politics...

 

 

It could be for me too, but I am hoping like hell, it's not.  I have to believe our government will change in November.  It has too.  🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏.    🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Trishy I saw on the news just last night how hanging your mask on the mirror is causing lots of accidents and I don't want to be reading where you have been in one!  Stick it in the slot on your dash.  I got my flu shot today and really good scissors for Tim to cut my hair with.  begood sent a video for Tim to follow.  Keep your fingers crossed for me      Hope you and family have some safe time together this weekend.  Love you girlfriend, move that mask but don't forget it. 

Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 😘😘. 🙏🙏.    😷😷😷♥️

Hey girl! Miss you! Yes, I'm guilty of hanging my mask on the rear view mirror and there's about 3 hanging there right now. I can see how they're causing accidents they really do cause somewhat of a blindspot. It's just such a convenient place to put it and I feel like the sunlight is getting at them and killing any germs on them :laugh: but ok I'll do as you say

 

Lolol I hope Tim can follow bg's video. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this haircut :laugh: You've got a great guy there my friend.

 

Me, Rich and the kids went to a beautiful apple orchard today and picked apples with the grandkids. It's a nice orchard in central Connecticut. We picked lots of apples and the grandkids got to have a pony ride which they loved! It was a gorgeous fall like day here today with temps only in the low 60's and bright sunshine with a breeze, just gorgeous!

Hope you and Tim are enjoying the weekend so far. Hope your hair turns out great.. Chop, chop Tim!! ✂️✂️  :laugh:

Love ya girlfriend! 😘❤️

Trishy, 😷🙋‍♀️🍎🍏

Trishy I saw on the news just last night how hanging your mask on the mirror is causing lots of accidents and I don't want to be reading where you have been in one!  Stick it in the slot on your dash.  I got my flu shot today and really good scissors for Tim to cut my hair with.  begood sent a video for Tim to follow.  Keep your fingers crossed for me      Hope you and family have some safe time together this weekend.  Love you girlfriend, move that mask but don't forget it. 

Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 😘😘. 🙏🙏.    😷😷😷♥️

Hey girl! Miss you! Yes, I'm guilty of hanging my mask on the rear view mirror and there's about 3 hanging there right now. I can see how they're causing accidents they really do cause somewhat of a blindspot. It's just such a convenient place to put it and I feel like the sunlight is getting at them and killing any germs on them :laugh: but ok I'll do as you say

 

Lolol I hope Tim can follow bg's video. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this haircut :laugh: You've got a great guy there my friend.

 

Me, Rich and the kids went to a beautiful apple orchard today and picked apples with the grandkids. It's a nice orchard in central Connecticut. We picked lots of apples and the grandkids got to have a pony ride which they loved! It was a gorgeous fall like day here today with temps only in the low 60's and bright sunshine with a breeze, just gorgeous!

Hope you and Tim are enjoying the weekend so far. Hope your hair turns out great.. Chop, chop Tim!! ✂️✂️  :laugh:

Love ya girlfriend! 😘❤️

Trishy, 😷🙋‍♀️🍎🍏

 

Oh that sounds so fun Trishy.  I am happy that you feel good enough to do all those things.  You have a great family.  Love you right back!    🙋🏼😘🙏😷😷😷😷.  ♥️❣️💕

Trishy I saw on the news just last night how hanging your mask on the mirror is causing lots of accidents and I don't want to be reading where you have been in one!  Stick it in the slot on your dash.  I got my flu shot today and really good scissors for Tim to cut my hair with.  begood sent a video for Tim to follow.  Keep your fingers crossed for me      Hope you and family have some safe time together this weekend.  Love you girlfriend, move that mask but don't forget it. 

Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 😘😘. 🙏🙏.    😷😷😷♥️

Hey girl! Miss you! Yes, I'm guilty of hanging my mask on the rear view mirror and there's about 3 hanging there right now. I can see how they're causing accidents they really do cause somewhat of a blindspot. It's just such a convenient place to put it and I feel like the sunlight is getting at them and killing any germs on them :laugh: but ok I'll do as you say

 

Lolol I hope Tim can follow bg's video. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this haircut :laugh: You've got a great guy there my friend.

 

Me, Rich and the kids went to a beautiful apple orchard today and picked apples with the grandkids. It's a nice orchard in central Connecticut. We picked lots of apples and the grandkids got to have a pony ride which they loved! It was a gorgeous fall like day here today with temps only in the low 60's and bright sunshine with a breeze, just gorgeous!

Hope you and Tim are enjoying the weekend so far. Hope your hair turns out great.. Chop, chop Tim!! ✂️✂️  :laugh:

Love ya girlfriend! 😘❤️

Trishy, 😷🙋‍♀️🍎🍏

 

Oh that sounds so fun Trishy.  I am happy that you feel good enough to do all those things.  You have a great family.  Love you right back!    🙋🏼😘🙏😷😷😷😷.  ♥️❣️💕

  :smitten: 🌿🍁🍂🎃🍏🍎

Yes she stood up for the little man. It's game over (at least in my lifetime) of seeing any progressive laws passed concerning: the environment. civil rights, voter suppression, corporate dark money in politics...

 

 

It could be for me too, but I am hoping like hell, it's not.  I have to believe our government will change in November.  It has too.  🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏.    🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

 

The problem is Supreme Court Justices are for life (no one should be able to serve a lifetime) and now we'll have 6 conservative judges and 3 liberal judges

Yes she stood up for the little man. It's game over (at least in my lifetime) of seeing any progressive laws passed concerning: the environment. civil rights, voter suppression, corporate dark money in politics...

 

 

It could be for me too, but I am hoping like hell, it's not.  I have to believe our government will change in November.  It has too.  🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏.    🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

 

The problem is Supreme Court Justices are for life (no one should be able to serve a lifetime) and now we'll have 6 conservative judges and 3 liberal judges

 

I know, I haven't given up hope, I just can't. 

Well today,  I have a terrible headache. Will probably spend it in bed. I think it is hormonal,  my periods are due in a week.

I couldn't sleep well Last night either. I hope this time the wave will be less. I took half of a Tylenol and hope that it won't give me side effect.

 

Trump has a talent to draw attention to him.

I hope that people are getting tired of the lies, circus at the white house. Some analysts said that most republicans will vote at the poll while the Democrats will vote by mail and the number by mail will come in late  at the night of the election so he will proclam victory ahead. It is all mediatic to him.

And I agree, no one should serve a lifetime.

Hello,

 

It's important we keep politics out of the forum, it's always been a touchy subject and even more so now in the current climate.  BenzoBuddies needs to be a safe place for all.

 

Pamster

Hello,

 

It's important we keep politics out of the forum, it's always been a touchy subject and even more so now in the current climate.  BenzoBuddies needs to be a safe place for all.

 

Pamster

 

Thank you Pamster.

You're right Pamster. Sorry