The Long Hold Support Group

Good morning Intend is Mary back today?l hope you enjoy her visit my love try not to let her annoy you.l know easier said than done.When is your next cut?l really hope you have a better day honey.love to you and Dan.X

 

Stut, Mary comes on Friday, the 20th. I’m not sure what time. Could be later in the afternoon as she sometimes works and then goes to the airport with Brad afterwards. They are staying till Sunday. So barely 3 days. I suppose that one might think this is so short of a time that getting upset would not even be possible.

 

But Mary is so constantly worried about Brad wherever she is, that I don’t like to even talk about it anymore. So while she’s here, she’s also trying to spend time with us, and trying to be with Brad and his adult kids. They all just love football and soccer and golf. Every waking available hour is spent watching and doing that.

 

And these “kids” are not sociable with us at all. It’s probably not their fault as Brad was not around when they were little because of his medical practice, and his wife became so lonely that she demanded to move from Tennessee back here. He couldn’t find the job he wanted here, so he moved the family to Sacramento which is about a 12 hour drive from here or 1.5 hours on a plane. But his wife got lonely there again so she finally just left him there and came back here. My point is that he has structured his life so that he comes back for quick trips to see them now as adults and then goes back to Sacramento to work. Mary says he feels guilty now about not knowing them as little children so all his time here is spent with them. I’m about to just bag this whole thing. And I sure don’t want to move there even though we’ve been there several times and liked it.

 

But they live is this highly desirable subdivision of homes which is close to a a dump of all things. The state of California has been testing the aquifer below the area for several years to watch for toxic materials leaching into the water in the area. And coincidentally, Mary has had nothing but trouble with her skin and her eyes ever since they moved into that house. They’ve put filters on all the water taps, but couldn’t get one on the washer so the next step is a whole house filter. And she saw an allergist last Friday, but I don’t know the results of that. She wants us to move there. Dan and I figure we have one last move in us so wherever we go that’s probably it for us, and I’m not going there to make her feel better. Really just a mess.

 

My next cut is in 4 days I figure. My poor CNS is so screwed up from all these generic switches, that seems like I just have to wait for all these uncomfortable sx to stay the same and then I cut. When I saw my doctor last Thursday, he said that he’d figured that if all these switches hadn’t happened to me, I’d be about 50% off by now. But he also said that we do get better as we drop even if we feel awful so that is good news. He knows his stuff and is a great Pdoc.

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

Rose,

 

I’ll second everyone else and say welcome to the group.

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

 

. Welcome Rose l am glad you found us.l think you have actually been off valium for several months and reinstated?If so it will take time for you to stabilise.Just hold for as long as necessary for things to settle down.l can't tell you how long it will take so be patient and in the meantime keep a journal so you can see if there is a pattern to your withdrawal symptoms.Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

Thank you Stut. Yes, I was off for a while and feeling the worst. That’s good to know that it might take a while to stabilise. I was starting to think I might need to go a mg higher. This last week I’ve developed really bad social phobia - I went out to dinner for my mum’s birthday and had to leave, I was so frightened of being around people. That this even happened scared me so much. I don’t really feel like verbally talking to anyone either, words just won’t come out. I hope this sorts itself out. xx

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

Welcome Rose to our group, lots of really nice people here.

 

Thank you 

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

Rose,

 

I’ll second everyone else and say welcome to the group.

 

Thank you

Good morning Bill l hope you are ok please let us know how you are.l hope you are out of the wave.Thinking of you.X

 

Thank you Stut

I am feeling a little better late yesterday And today is starting well.  I am holding for a few days to let things settle.  So much better mentally when I’m not in a wave!  I’m going to hold probably a few more days to rest, but it’s looking better.

 

I hear others suffering and thinking this is permanent.  One thing I’ve learned and I think it’s part of acceptance:  none of the weird, terrifying, bizarre, annoying, excruciating, torturous symptoms are permanent.  This is just what it feels like when your nervous system is healing, nothing more.  Keep this in mind, and repeat it as necessary.  We are going to be fine....  eventually!

 

Take care, Bill

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

 

. Welcome Rose l am glad you found us.l think you have actually been off valium for several months and reinstated?If so it will take time for you to stabilise.Just hold for as long as necessary for things to settle down.l can't tell you how long it will take so be patient and in the meantime keep a journal so you can see if there is a pattern to your withdrawal symptoms.Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

Thank you Stut. Yes, I was off for a while and feeling the worst. That’s good to know that it might take a while to stabilise. I was starting to think I might need to go a mg higher. This last week I’ve developed really bad social phobia - I went out to dinner for my mum’s birthday and had to leave, I was so frightened of being around people. That this even happened scared me so much. I don’t really feel like verbally talking to anyone either, words just won’t come out. I hope this sorts itself out. xx

 

Rose, I didn't jump but I tapered down to 1 mg and went into acute WD which is more or less terror 24/7 and zero to two hours sleep. Two hours was on a great day. The terror never left, and I hadn't even jumped. I waited and nothing improved, it got worse. I finally updosed to 2.50 (first 1.40). At 2.5 things took ages to get better. About a month or so to feel a bit better and six weeks to really feel like a human being again. So please be patient. I was also tempted to keep updosing even more but thank God I didn't. It would help if you give more details on your signature: dates, doses... so that people can get the full picture. Kuddos for mothering two angels through all this. We can do it but we need each other.

Haha thanks bill! I am so glad you are not in a wave.  i am feeling better. Kind of had a mental setback. I did eventually fo my excercises. Didnt walk though. My whole thougjt procesd wss dersiled. But im making a come back. Thanks to all you guys. Have to believe we will heal. This is all those things you said. I honesty cant nelieve anyone of us is going through this.  Love dd:smitten:

Greetings,

 

I’d like to be with the long-holders 

 

43 - Mum/Mom of two beautiful autistic children. Been going through a stressful little life so far, but optimistic (sorta, maybe).

 

Rose xx

 

 

. Welcome Rose l am glad you found us.l think you have actually been off valium for several months and reinstated?If so it will take time for you to stabilise.Just hold for as long as necessary for things to settle down.l can't tell you how long it will take so be patient and in the meantime keep a journal so you can see if there is a pattern to your withdrawal symptoms.Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

Thank you Stut. Yes, I was off for a while and feeling the worst. That’s good to know that it might take a while to stabilise. I was starting to think I might need to go a mg higher. This last week I’ve developed really bad social phobia - I went out to dinner for my mum’s birthday and had to leave, I was so frightened of being around people. That this even happened scared me so much. I don’t really feel like verbally talking to anyone either, words just won’t come out. I hope this sorts itself out. xx

 

Rose, I didn't jump but I tapered down to 1 mg and went into acute WD which is more or less terror 24/7 and zero to two hours sleep. Two hours was on a great day. The terror never left, and I hadn't even jumped. I waited and nothing improved, it got worse. I finally updosed to 2.50 (first 1.40). At 2.5 things took ages to get better. About a month or so to feel a bit better and six weeks to really feel like a human being again. So please be patient. I was also tempted to keep updosing even more but thank God I didn't. It would help if you give more details on your signature: dates, doses... so that people can get the full picture. Kuddos for mothering two angels through all this. We can do it but we need each other.

 

Oh sorry, my signature is a bit brief. I rewrote it a few times and it looked confusing. I’ve taken Xanax a few times for 6 months then quit easily except for in 2016 and it was havoc, so I switched to Valium 6mg for just over two years, then started (I thought) a slow taper down to 1mg. But it’s been the worst experience ever. I’ve never had such a range of symptoms and they seem to come out of nowhere. I feel like I’ll never be well.

Welcome Rose! Very kimd znd knowledable ppl hete in this group. Glad you are here. ! 

Going to rest my brain for a bit.  Lol

Mary, how are your feeling and how are your eyes doing?

 

I hope you are not in too much pain with them. 

Good morning Bill l hope you are ok please let us know how you are.l hope you are out of the wave.Thinking of you.X

 

Thank you Stut

I am feeling a little better late yesterday And today is starting well.  I am holding for a few days to let things settle.  So much better mentally when I’m not in a wave!  I’m going to hold probably a few more days to rest, but it’s looking better.

 

I hear others suffering and thinking this is permanent.  One thing I’ve learned and I think it’s part of acceptance:  none of the weird, terrifying, bizarre, annoying, excruciating, torturous symptoms are permanent.  This is just what it feels like when your nervous system is healing, nothing more.  Keep this in mind, and repeat it as necessary.  We are going to be fine....  eventually!

 

Take care, Bill

 

Bill I'm so glad you showed up and that you're feeling a bit better since yesterday. I think I'll start cutting again when my "feeling better" lasts for three weeks straight. I don't trust these little windows as much as I appreciate them of course I do. But to start cutting again I want to feel well for more than just one day. I'm praying we all heal at our own pace and mostly, I hope we don't forget living in the interval.

 

Hi V,

Yes, I'm feeling better now so must be a window starting!  I really feel like my  latest bottle of Lorazepam must have been different somehow, and might have been a different generic brand.  I'm going to be more careful and taper from one bottle to the next in the future just to be sure.  When we have to taper so super slowly, of course we are going to be sensitive to even slight differences in the pills.  One more REALLY annoying parts of this.

 

I think your plan is a good one. We usually suffer more by rushing than we ever would by stabilizing.  Continue to hold as long as you need, the general guideline is as long as things improve with a hold you will be fine, and it can take longer than you think.

 

We'll get through this together!

 

 

 

 

Hello long holder's!

 

Just a quick drop in to wish you all well. I know everyone is suffering in their own ways. Wd has a way of reading tearing us down in horrific ways but the good news is, even though unbelievable, it always gets better with a hold. I know we all want off, I think about it everyday but only time patience will win this battle. I have one bit of advice to give to those suffering right now and it's nothing you haven't heard before but it truly helps and that's DISTRACT. Get yourself out of your head as best you can with whatever you can. If you're stuck in bed then read or put on a favorite movie preferably a funny movie. Play games on your phone, if you're able to walk then go for short walks or just move around in your own home. I used to pace in my house. Moving relieves built up stress and tension in the body and gets the circulation going and helps to release those feel good endorphins. Our brains are already so compromised we need to do all we can to help it along. Another suggestion is a warmbubble bath to relax tense muscles, I take one almost every night and find it really relaxing. Try to be kind to yourselves. Eat good food, drink a lot of water and I reccomend tea too if you like it. Something soothing about having a cup of tea or some warm drink.I also used to use melatonin gummies for sleep and it really helped. These are all things I've done and are just suggestions.

 

Wishing you all well,

Trish

 

Trish,

 

You sound much better. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

We are having trouble with our tract lighting downstairs. It’s been so long since it was installed that I hope we can still get a similar part to replace the part that is defective.

 

I’m easily irritated right now as Dan is trying to explain all this to me. He forgets that I already understand all this, but is determined to talk to me like I’m 5 years old. It is very annoying that we were at Home Depot yesterday and bought the 2 lights that went out and now it’s a part of the lighting that went out. So we’ll be back there tomorrow.

 

We seem to spend our lives at Home Depot and at Harbor Freight. I am calling it a night. 

Hi intend, what is it with men? Rich explains things to me that I've explained to him 😂😂🤦.. So anyway I hope you don't need to get a whole new lighting system put in but somehow I can see Dan wanting the top of the line if you do! Lol, he's a spender like me 😂

 

Hope you're doing well and don't let Mary's visit throw you for a loop. She's like my son I can only take him in small doses.. I've a feeling that's how it is with you and Mary.

 

Love to you Dan and little Pepper! ❤️

Good morning Trish l am so happy you are out living your life.l know this is hard for you honey however you are adjusting and doing a lot more than you thought you could.Please stay where you are for now my lovely and don't rock the boat.l know you want to get lower however this is not the time.Stay strong my twiny.

Love you my lST.X

Hi twin! No worries I'm in no rush! I'm feeling pretty good but still an not 100% ..I may not make a move until after Halloween.. Going by how I feel, so we'll see.

 

Love you much hope all is well with you.

LST❤️

Good morning Bill l hope you are ok please let us know how you are.l hope you are out of the wave.Thinking of you.X

 

Thank you Stut

I am feeling a little better late yesterday And today is starting well.  I am holding for a few days to let things settle.  So much better mentally when I’m not in a wave!  I’m going to hold probably a few more days to rest, but it’s looking better.

 

I hear others suffering and thinking this is permanent.  One thing I’ve learned and I think it’s part of acceptance:  none of the weird, terrifying, bizarre, annoying, excruciating, torturous symptoms are permanent.  This is just what it feels like when your nervous system is healing, nothing more.  Keep this in mind, and repeat it as necessary.  We are going to be fine....  eventually!

 

Take care, Bill

 

Bill I'm so glad you showed up and that you're feeling a bit better since yesterday. I think I'll start cutting again when my "feeling better" lasts for three weeks straight. I don't trust these little windows as much as I appreciate them of course I do. But to start cutting again I want to feel well for more than just one day. I'm praying we all heal at our own pace and mostly, I hope we don't forget living in the interval.

 

Hi V,

Yes, I'm feeling better now so must be a window starting!  I really feel like my  latest bottle of Lorazepam must have been different somehow, and might have been a different generic brand.  I'm going to be more careful and taper from one bottle to the next in the future just to be sure.  When we have to taper so super slowly, of course we are going to be sensitive to even slight differences in the pills.  One more REALLY annoying parts of this.

 

I think your plan is a good one. We usually suffer more by rushing than we ever would by stabilizing.  Continue to hold as long as you need, the general guideline is as long as things improve with a hold you will be fine, and it can take longer than you think.

 

We'll get through this together!

 

Bill and MM if you're out there I think I have the vision issues too. Ive been noticing that my pupils look strange. Really small. Then they kin of ho back to normsl. Last night i was reading and i could ser up close out of one eye and not the other. Do i just thought maybe im losing my cose up.vision. ok fine. So i took a pic of myself today and my eyes did not look rightm ine eye bigger than the other. Then i noticed one pupul was smaller than the other. I do not look like me those are not my eyes. One is darker than the other l. Oh now i can see up close out out of both eyes today. I feel ugly, i look like a freak. My bf days im hallucinating. There fine. He is wrong! Never listens. We are in the twilight zone 

 

I hope bill and mm that your eyes are feeling better. This is rediculous. Well like you said bill this will go awaym i deleted the pic. Lol.

Hello long holder's!

 

Just a quick drop in to wish you all well. I know everyone is suffering in their own ways. Wd has a way of reading tearing us down in horrific ways but the good news is, even though unbelievable, it always gets better with a hold. I know we all want off, I think about it everyday but only time patience will win this battle. I have one bit of advice to give to those suffering right now and it's nothing you haven't heard before but it truly helps and that's DISTRACT. Get yourself out of your head as best you can with whatever you can. If you're stuck in bed then read or put on a favorite movie preferably a funny movie. Play games on your phone, if you're able to walk then go for short walks or just move around in your own home. I used to pace in my house. Moving relieves built up stress and tension in the body and gets the circulation going and helps to release those feel good endorphins. Our brains are already so compromised we need to do all we can to help it along. Another suggestion is a warmbubble bath to relax tense muscles, I take one almost every night and find it really relaxing. Try to be kind to yourselves. Eat good food, drink a lot of water and I reccomend tea too if you like it. Something soothing about having a cup of tea or some warm drink.I also used to use melatonin gummies for sleep and it really helped. These are all things I've done and are just suggestions.

 

Wishing you all well,

Trish

 

Trish,

 

You sound much better. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

We are having trouble with our tract lighting downstairs. It’s been so long since it was installed that I hope we can still get a similar part to replace the part that is defective.

 

I’m easily irritated right now as Dan is trying to explain all this to me. He forgets that I already understand all this, but is determined to talk to me like I’m 5 years old. It is very annoying that we were at Home Depot yesterday and bought the 2 lights that went out and now it’s a part of the lighting that went out. So we’ll be back there tomorrow.

 

We seem to spend our lives at Home Depot and at Harbor Freight. I am calling it a night. 

Hi intend, what is it with men? Rich explains things to me that I've explained to him 😂😂🤦.. So anyway I hope you don't need to get a whole new lighting system put in but somehow I can see Dan wanting the top of the line if you do! Lol, he's a spender like me 😂

 

Hope you're doing well and don't let Mary's visit throw you for a loop. She's like my son I can only take him in small doses.. I've a feeling that's how it is with you and Mary.

 

Love to you Dan and little Pepper! ❤️

 

I’m hoping we don’t have to buy a new strip of that lighting Trish. They have the lights so I’m hoping we can buy the part that holds the light as that’s the part that went out. And if they have to order it, then that’s ok also. This lighting system runs from one end of that huge room downstairs to the other end. That would cost a fortune and I’m not paying for it.

 

This is decorative lighting and doesn’t even have to be on, so basically, this didn’t need to even happen.

 

Yes, I can only take Mary in small doses. She called before I wrote this, and still talking about bBrad, Brad, Brad. Saw the allergist last Friday, no real conclusions there, and seeing a dermatologist this afternoon.

 

I think you can easily describe me as the grouchiest person you might know today. 

 

Bill and MM if you're out there I think I have the vision issues too. Ive been noticing that my pupils look strange. Really small. Then they kin of ho back to normsl. Last night i was reading and i could ser up close out of one eye and not the other. Do i just thought maybe im losing my cose up.vision. ok fine. So i took a pic of myself today and my eyes did not look rightm ine eye bigger than the other. Then i noticed one pupul was smaller than the other. I do not look like me those are not my eyes. One is darker than the other l. Oh now i can see up close out out of both eyes today. I feel ugly, i look like a freak. My bf days im hallucinating. There fine. He is wrong! Never listens. We are in the twilight zone 

 

I hope bill and mm that your eyes are feeling better. This is rediculous. Well like you said bill this will go awaym i deleted the pic. Lol.

 

Suzanne,

 

I don’t think you have what either MM or Bill have. Bill has sore eyes which is a common withdrawl symptom, and can sometimes be handled with artificial tears, but not necessarily if it comes and goes.

 

MM has cataracts which come with getting older. She’s had the surgery for that, but the cells in her eyes have grown back (which happens to some) so she’s needs a quick surgery to unblur her eyes and then hopefully they will be fine, and she may need the artificial tears herself.

 

But if you think something is wrong with either of your eyes, please go to either an optometrist or an ophthalmologist to get an exam. 👁 👀

Hi intend,

Thanks. Im going to wait it.out. I read that ither ppl.have pupil isdies too. I did notice  the pupils have been weird for a while. Nothing surprises me with this bwd. They dont hurt. Im sure its just wd again.

Hope you dont have to go to home depot again. Men can be so annoying. My bf talks to me like.I'm 5 also.  hope your daughter gives you a break soon 

 

My wife calls it “man speak”. You know women can’t possibly understand things so we have to explain it to you in man speak, right?  What would you do without us....!

 

My vision has been better recently, but yes it has been mainly soreness and blurry vision.  However I’ve had other issues like brightness, foggy vision, etc.  this withdrawal seems to really hit all aspects of vision so nothing would surprise me.

 

Hang in there it will pass.

 

 

My wife calls it “man speak”. You know women can’t possibly understand things so we have to explain it to you in man speak, right?  What would you do without us....!

 

My vision has been better recently, but yes it has been mainly soreness and blurry vision.  However I’ve had other issues like brightness, foggy vision, etc.  this withdrawal seems to really hit all aspects of vision so nothing would surprise me.

 

Hang in there it will pass.

 

Bill, they call it mansplaining now . But you're not a man's plainer, at least that's not your tone here in the forum. We have plenty of mansplainers in Spain. I'm so thankful for all their explanations about things that I couldn't possibly understand on my own 

I hope everyone is doing all right today.

 

I'm having a tough day. After a day and 1/2 window, the window closed last night and today I am deeply sad again about my life. 

 

I was triggered when a former corporate client emailed about some possible coaching work that I know I cant do at this time.  I ended up quarreling with my husband who said I could create more work when I'm off but my fear has me not believing it. 

 

I feel very low today and have such a lack of faith.

Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is getting by as best they can. My day was good today! My husband and I went to the big E which is an enormous fair here in the Northeast USA. Had a little trouble with chest discomfort and breathing but was able to walk for hrs and enjoy the fair. My feet are sore from all that walking but over all a really good day. We had beautiful weather as well which was a plus. So nice being outdoors all day, I felt human again.

 

Hey mm a special shout out to you! I hope your eyes are improving. I haven't seen your butt on here in a few days..peeps are missing you woman!  . Feel better soon or I'll have to bring back RIDDLE TUESDAY to lure you here. I know how much you love it!! :laugh:

 

Peace and healing to all my buddies in the LHSG. ❤️

TT🙂

So glad you had a nice day TT!!! 

Missing you MM