Name something you want to do when off and healed.

I want to have the right, good man in my life who will love me and hold me. (To be held and loved by the right person.)

Never think about Benzos again!

Travel

Travel

Hike

Build relationships.

I'd like to be able to have a really good conversation and reconnect with old friends and family. I can't really converse in any detail because of benzo- brain! 

 

 

I want to fall in love again 

Drink beer and eat stuff with MSG in it at the Japanese restaurant.

 

So sue me. I'm hedonistic and pragmatic.

I want to work with my neighbor. She has a dog care business for people who work or vacation. Also want to spend time with Alzheimer's patients in long term care. And go to the senior community center and learn their line dancing. They have too much fun but the steps are so complicated.

I want to live ... simply live, not exist.

Move out of this cursed, noisy apt building into a quiet, peaceful place.

Sleep ALL night and NAP!!!

Walk through the city the way I used to.  Laugh with my husband, meet with friends.  Sleep deeply the way I used to and have a cup of coffee.

Move out to the seaside with my Kitty. To hear the sound of waves all the time. To feel like I'm part of Nature. Not just surviving in a concrete box, surrounded by dirt, noise and human predators.

 

Earn enough money to separate myself from everything that is damaging to my peace of mind. To separate myself physically. Not chemically.

Estee,

 

I really like  your ideas. Yeah, I'd like also to be braver to go out into nature, maybe even the wilderness, which I haven't done since I was a child.

 

But mostly, be able to to think staightly, get my teaching job back, go back to university, and move out of my mum's, so I can be independent.

 

The memory of all that I had and crumbled (last summer; not even a year) is extremely depressing 

Estee,

 

I really like  your ideas. Yeah, I'd like also to be braver to go out into nature, maybe even the wilderness, which I haven't done since I was a child.

 

But mostly, be able to to think staightly, get my teaching job back, go back to university, and move out of my mum's, so I can be independent.

 

The memory of all that I had and crumbled (last summer; not even a year) is extremely depressing 

 

I used to be a teacher as well. A long time ago. I taught the English language. I'm a philology and philosophy graduate. Teaching is a very tough job. But it's rewarding. I guess that most things we learn about life. That prove right. It's good to pass them on somehow. So that others don't repeat the same mistakes. But it's usually so difficult. It almost seems impossible sometimes.

I would like to go on holiday

in one of the beautiful islands of my country (Greece)

and swim from sunrise to sunset

 

Sleep ALL night and NAP!!!

 

I second this! I am really looking forward to one day sleeping through the night and feeling really rested the next morning. I want to stretch my arms up over my head after a good night sleep, and do that big lion roar wake-up yawn, throw the covers off and get on with my day! Now its just a day dream.

Sleep ALL night and NAP!!!

 

I second this! I am really looking forward to one day sleeping through the night and feeling really rested the next morning. I want to stretch my arms up over my head after a good night sleep, and do that big lion roar wake-up yawn, throw the covers off and get on with my day! Now its just a day dream.

 

I will third it, that big relaxed stretch and yawn, oh big sigh

Dance like it's 1999.

Live ... I just want to live.

Estee,

 

You are absolutely how hard it is. I think pretty much almost all jobs are hard. It's so nice to hear you studied English philology. So did I 

 

To answer this thread again though (because I changed my mind) --> to find a place to fit in 

Work in my career field and buy a house. One day, one day...

My desires are few & basic:

Up hygiene to what used to be normal.

Walk - beyond my next door neighbor &/or mailbox.

Be in the company of cousins, friends & loved ones, again.

Go out socially.

Drive.

Tend to home repairs that haven't been attended to, to get my environment back to not disgusting me.

I need to get on top of my dental hygiene. Have been avoiding going in for a deep cleaning.