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Can I ask what symptoms have causes you to hold? If you don’t want to answer it’s ok. I don’t like to talk symptoms usually but has things been worse than normal for you?
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So, the only thing that has me pause the taper now is when I get thoughts about how I’d rather give up.  I don’t get to that point unless I’m really feeling bad. This one came with very rough PMS and wave, and I think the flu (?). I had a low grade fever and joint pain.

 

Most of the hardship is me being grumpy because my quality of life feels low, and it’s just a matter of muscling through it most days. I know that will slowly get better one day. When it’s been a wave for close to a month and it keeps hammering, I lose steam.

So when I feel like I just need a freaking break because I’m losing it.

 

I started the micro taper again last night. So I may notice the return of some mild symptoms in about 4 days. That’s usual for me.

 

Today has been better. I walked to a neighbors house (only 3 houses down) to take her a few plants, chatted for a bit (was super anxious, but I did it). I messed around the back yard watering plants for prob 30 min or so, then went for a 0.3 mile walk. I had to do some belly breathing and mindfulness exercises to keep going, but I did it. 

But I also took a 2 hour nap from 2-4pm today.

I started writing “victories” for the day at the end of my daily notes.

 

Victories today: saw a friend, sat on porch in the sun 30 min, tended to garden, walked!

Doesn’t matter that I did it scared. I still did it.

 

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Sounds like maybe the hold helped. Those small victories are great. You are much more active than me. I am so broken down physically. Walking to the kitchen is a small victory and talking is hard as well. It causes so much physical pain that is unbearable.

 

So happy things are a little better today. Keep going.

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I’m down to 1.8mg today!

I had been taking 1mg in the morning and tapering from the pm dose. A few days ago I split it evenly, so 0.9 in morning 0.9 in the evening.

Somehow in the past 2 days I have developed annoying numbness/ tingling in my arms and some in my legs. Doing my best to note the feeling and move on.

 

I can still do my yoga and move fine, they just feel weird. It’s hard not to feel concerned.

This taper has been the strangest thing i have ever been through.

 

Back in Jan this year I changed from 2x a day to 3x a day dosing. It caused pins and needles in my feet for a week or so. It was uncomfortable but ok. And it let up. Hoping for the same thing here.

I’ve tapered out of that middle of the day dose a few months back, so I’m back to twice a day.

 

Anyway. Just an update.

Hope you are all doing ok.

 

Managed some porch time in the sun, a shower, and a bit of yoga today.

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Does anyone else have head pressure combined with dizziness and fatigue? It's gotten so bad that I'm planning to hold for a few months in the hopes that it gets better before resuming my taper. I don't believe in "pushing through" intolerable symptoms. I have to work. This symptom is not common for me. In the past it was mostly terror, insomnia, physical pain, etc. Those gradually got better (except the pain), but now I have these new sxs. Anyone with a similar change in sxs?
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I do have all three of these very intensely. Sorry you are struggling. Hopefully the hold helps. I have decided to slowly taper and get it over with.
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I do have all three of these very intensely. Sorry you are struggling. Hopefully the hold helps. I have decided to slowly taper and get it over with.

 

Thanks Fruitypop. I'll hold for four to seven months and hope it improves enough to keep tapering. I can't run risks as I have to try to stay functional. I'm glad you're getting lower.

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Those come and go for me too val.

So you think maybe you have a head cold or flu?

Allergies also make my head feel full and tight.  The dizziness feeling and fatigue are just kind of constants.

 

Hope you feel better soon!

 

 

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Those come and go for me too val.

So you think maybe you have a head cold or flu?

Allergies also make my head feel full and tight.  The dizziness feeling and fatigue are just kind of constants.

 

Hope you feel better soon!

 

Thank you tree lover :) No I don't have a cold or flu. It's all withdrawal, for me it's quite clear due to the nature of these sxs. So I see you are dizzy and fatigued constantly huh? And you don't hold? I have to keep functional so when my sxs are very bad I have to hold before I start tapering again. I hope it also works this time! I hope I'm off in two years. Two years to taper 0.90 valium is a lot, but I'd rather play safe. I can't get a disability or anything of the sort so I need my brain to work. Yesterday the headache was less severe by the way. Let's see today.

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I hope it continues to ease up for you! 🙏🏻

I get needing to be functional. I worked for the first 2 years of my taper. I was the sole breadwinner for my family. It was so hard.

I just quit work this past December to focus on getting off of this and rehabbing myself. I’m on a timeline here and need to be done by December this year for financial reasons. So, I’m pushing it.

It’s not ideal, but it’s where I’ve landed for now.

 

Hoping for good moments, if not days, for us all

 

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I hope it continues to ease up for you! 🙏🏻

I get needing to be functional. I worked for the first 2 years of my taper. I was the sole breadwinner for my family. It was so hard.

I just quit work this past December to focus on getting off of this and rehabbing myself. I’m on a timeline here and need to be done by December this year for financial reasons. So, I’m pushing it.

It’s not ideal, but it’s where I’ve landed for now.

 

Hoping for good moments, if not days, for us all

 

Hi Treelover! Yes, we all have our own circumstances and we have to taper accordingly. For me it's just impossible to stop working and even if I did, and rushed my taper, I would probably make bad financial or life decisions based on withdrawal induced fear. I've just been once in acute WD and the terror of going back there makes me go slow. It's also true that with these low doses it's unusual to go into that state, in fact I did a few cold turkeys and tapers in my life and it didn't happen. But three years ago everything went wrong and my brain now is completely different. I'll play slow and safe. I also have a very, very bad back issue and that's kind of hard enough to add even more WD sxs to the mix. The sxs these days for me are mostly depression (my physical health gives me a reason to be depressed but the WD exacerbates it). Well, I have to keep on living, it's not an option so here we go, another day. I hope everyone feels a bit better today and if you don't, hang in there, you're not alone. Many of us are going through hell and keep going.

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Hope holding gets better for you Val.

 

I hit some sort of horrible wave since Monday. Last night I woke four times to my heart racing. It’s so exhausting. I had gotten to where my pots symptoms had really died down and I could walk and talk a little more. Like 800 steps instead of 400 so still not a lot. But now I am scared and discouraged it won’t come back. The pain burning pulsing heart racing is so much to bear. I increased to 5% this past Sunday and am now regretting it. Hopefully I don’t get hit even worse. I may be riding out at 5% for a while and that puts me at two years to be off which seems so long. I am not sure the fact that I was seeing tiny improvements means it would continue to get better. I get so confused because a lot of

People say to get off and then I will start to heal then other say go slow symptoms based but if I went symptoms based I wouldn’t be tapering at all and holding five months didn’t help me I was still bed bound. Starting to taper again is what helped a little. Ugh it’s one of those days.

 

I am pretty sure I have developed metabolic syndrome and not sure what to do about it. My blood sugar roller coaster is severe and causes a lot of the symptoms anxiety heart racing sweating crying but not sure if I could handle keto I feel like I would be stuck in a constant low blood sugar state all the time.

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Hope holding gets better for you Val.

 

I hit some sort of horrible wave since Monday. Last night I woke four times to my heart racing. It’s so exhausting. I had gotten to where my pots symptoms had really died down and I could walk and talk a little more. Like 800 steps instead of 400 so still not a lot. But now I am scared and discouraged it won’t come back. The pain burning pulsing heart racing is so much to bear. I increased to 5% this past Sunday and am now regretting it. Hopefully I don’t get hit even worse. I may be riding out at 5% for a while and that puts me at two years to be off which seems so long. I am not sure the fact that I was seeing tiny improvements means it would continue to get better. I get so confused because a lot of

People say to get off and then I will start to heal then other say go slow symptoms based but if I went symptoms based I wouldn’t be tapering at all and holding five months didn’t help me I was still bed bound. Starting to taper again is what helped a little. Ugh it’s one of those days.

 

I am pretty sure I have developed metabolic syndrome and not sure what to do about it. My blood sugar roller coaster is severe and causes a lot of the symptoms anxiety heart racing sweating crying but not sure if I could handle keto I feel like I would be stuck in a constant low blood sugar state all the time.

 

Fruity pop I'm so sorry. I believe in holding more than pushing through. I'm having a lot of work and my fingers hurt to type much on my phone but just remember after terribly bad days enentually there'll be a bit better day. Hang on to that please.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey 3,2,1 ers

Hey I’ve had  a pretty darn good day and I wanted to share. I think overdid it, and I feel wiped out now. But, man it was nice to have interests and energy to do things.

I did yoga this morning, then helped my hubs clean up our van, vacuumed and wiped down the inside.

I made some cherry limeade sodas with a natural ginger yeast I’ve been feeding. (What? Hobbies??)

 

I made my son lunch, vacuumed the house, harvested some herbs from the garden, made another tea.

Then I cleaned up the kitchen, took a shower.

I listened to music for a few hours this evening while making teas.

Just a good day!

 

So, if things are rough, hang in there! Windows come.

I am kind of astounded to have such a good day.

I’m holding steady with my taper if 0.01mg per day. I’m at 1.68mg now split into 2 doses.

The past month and a half have been pretty rough, so this is a welcomed break.

 

Tree

 

 

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Does anyone else have head pressure combined with dizziness and fatigue? It's gotten so bad that I'm planning to hold for a few months in the hopes that it gets better before resuming my taper. I don't believe in "pushing through" intolerable symptoms. I have to work. This symptom is not common for me. In the past it was mostly terror, insomnia, physical pain, etc. Those gradually got better (except the pain), but now I have these new sxs. Anyone with a similar change in sxs?

 

Valiumnomore

 

I too am at .95 mg. Valium and have noticed that my sxs have changed. I get the feeling of a cut much earlier now though they are not as bad as they were at higher levels. Anxiety can creep in so cleverly now too. I don’t always see as anxiety and just start thinking the what if’s, then realize it’s anxiety and start practicing acceptance again and it eases up. Also as mentioned earlier allergy season this year is particularly bad and this makes the head pressure sensations worse.

Finally I want to say that muscle fatigue in all places comes so easily with the simplest of exercise but we must keep fit so I muffle through these sxs with ice heat and the odd Tylenol.

 

We are so close and yet at times it seems so far still. You will be fine, don’t let the sxs fool you they are only sensations and although they can seem bothersome they can’t hurt us.

 

A hold is always a good thing when sxs pile up. Have no second thoughts about that decision.

 

Peace 🙏🏼

ATU

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Hi Tree-

It was refreshing to hear of your good day. I hope more days like that for you.

 

I am in a nasty wave. I increased my rate to 5% about two weeks ago and I wonder if it’s from that or I would just have a wave anyway. It’s such a struggle to know what to do and I am just wore down physically and emotionally. I was starting to see moments of better for two weeks before this wave hit. I may give it another week at this rate and if it doesn’t let up go back to 4%. I just feel like I will never get off. Sorry I am being a downer. I am at 1.64mg.

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Hi Tree-

It was refreshing to hear of your good day. I hope more days like that for you.

 

I am in a nasty wave. I increased my rate to 5% about two weeks ago and I wonder if it’s from that or I would just have a wave anyway. It’s such a struggle to know what to do and I am just wore down physically and emotionally. I was starting to see moments of better for two weeks before this wave hit. I may give it another week at this rate and if it doesn’t let up go back to 4%. I just feel like I will never get off. Sorry I am being a downer. I am at 1.64mg.

 

Fruity pop, I think you will get off eventually, even if it takes a while. Look how far you've come already. No need to rush IMO. It's useless to rush anyway, as the brain isn't going to rush as much as we want it to.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey all, just checking in.

I’m at 1.5mg today!

 

I’ve been getting impatient with the whole process lately. But I don’t dare speed up as I am just barely tolerating symptoms lately. Lots of anxiety, lots of exhaustion.

I get up and do a few things in the morning, then rest. Then get up and do a little, and rest again.

Just plugging along.

 

I’ve noticed that if I hold a few days, interests in hobbies kind of come back, but anxiety and fatigue don’t let up much. I guess that’s to say I haven’t been able to “create” a window by holding. Then I just feel bad because I’m delaying the inevitable, so I move on down.

 

Feels good to be at 1.50

But I wouldn’t say I’m in good shape 😂

 

Hold on and keep moving

Tree

 

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Hey all, just checking in.

I’m at 1.5mg today!

 

I’ve been getting impatient with the whole process lately. But I don’t dare speed up as I am just barely tolerating symptoms lately. Lots of anxiety, lots of exhaustion.

I get up and do a few things in the morning, then rest. Then get up and do a little, and rest again.

Just plugging along.

 

I’ve noticed that if I hold a few days, interests in hobbies kind of come back, but anxiety and fatigue don’t let up much. I guess that’s to say I haven’t been able to “create” a window by holding. Then I just feel bad because I’m delaying the inevitable, so I move on down.

 

Feels good to be at 1.50

But I wouldn’t say I’m in good shape 😂

 

Hold on and keep moving

Tree

 

Congrats on being so low! Is it even therapeutic anymore? Or just holding off symptoms? I feel like you, holding doesn't help too much I feel like it prolongs my suffering. I don't even know what "stable" is hahahaha I can't wait to be as low as you are. Lets keep on trucking ! I've been needing lots of encouragement lately, and i'll give you lots too!

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Honestly I don’t get much relief from a dose. I am dosing twice a day. I definitely feel more anxiety before the dose is due, and maybe a bit of a respite for an hour? Then I’m back into it.

 

The things that calm me the most are - gentle yoga (still doing this every day), listening to mindfulness lectures by Thich Naht Hanh, laying down for a bit, and sleep.

Yoga helps the most I think. It opens up my chest, and back, helps with the tightness and gets me breathing deeply again.

 

I’ve been a bit sick lately with a cold of some sort so energy levels are super low.

I still stretch every night, very slowly, sometimes while in bed.

 

So ready to be done.

 

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I was wondering when everyone planned on jumping?  I know Ashton says at .5mg, but I’ve read too many horror stories from that number.  I had planned on .25mg, but I’ve just continued on.  I’m looking forward to being benzo free, but I don’t want to put myself through more withdrawal than necessary. 

My taper is going pretty well.  It’s been a LONG one.  But, I feel like the end is getting pretty close.  I still have anxiety/panic, some tinnitus occasionally, boughts of dizziness sometimes, head fog comes and goes…. But it’s not terrible.  I’m working from home mainly with a meeting 2x a week and I am doing pretty well. 

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I was wondering when everyone planned on jumping?  I know Ashton says at .5mg, but I’ve read too many horror stories from that number.  I had planned on .25mg, but I’ve just continued on.  I’m looking forward to being benzo free, but I don’t want to put myself through more withdrawal than necessary. 

My taper is going pretty well.  It’s been a LONG one.  But, I feel like the end is getting pretty close.  I still have anxiety/panic, some tinnitus occasionally, boughts of dizziness sometimes, head fog comes and goes…. But it’s not terrible.  I’m working from home mainly with a meeting 2x a week and I am doing pretty well.

 

My plan is to jump at 0.002. But I will see how it goes.

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I was wondering when everyone planned on jumping?  I know Ashton says at .5mg, but I’ve read too many horror stories from that number.  I had planned on .25mg, but I’ve just continued on.  I’m looking forward to being benzo free, but I don’t want to put myself through more withdrawal than necessary. 

My taper is going pretty well.  It’s been a LONG one.  But, I feel like the end is getting pretty close.  I still have anxiety/panic, some tinnitus occasionally, boughts of dizziness sometimes, head fog comes and goes…. But it’s not terrible.  I’m working from home mainly with a meeting 2x a week and I am doing pretty well.

 

Hello! I am at 1.21mg today. I think I’m going to take it all the way to 0.01 then 0.

I don’t want any extra surprises or acute symptoms. I am feeling impatient though. It would be so nice to chunk away at it and be done.

I have felt a bit better for the last week or 2 and was considering speeding up a bit,  but I think im going to work on doing more for myself and getting back into the world. I don’t go out much, don’t work, only drive every few weeks. It’s been nice to cocoon, but I want to start getting out more. Scares me to push like that, but that’s going to be the thing that brings feelings of healing I believe.

 

How often do you decrease? (Both of you 😊)

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I was wondering when everyone planned on jumping?  I know Ashton says at .5mg, but I’ve read too many horror stories from that number.  I had planned on .25mg, but I’ve just continued on.  I’m looking forward to being benzo free, but I don’t want to put myself through more withdrawal than necessary. 

My taper is going pretty well.  It’s been a LONG one.  But, I feel like the end is getting pretty close.  I still have anxiety/panic, some tinnitus occasionally, boughts of dizziness sometimes, head fog comes and goes…. But it’s not terrible.  I’m working from home mainly with a meeting 2x a week and I am doing pretty well.

 

Treelover-

I am at 1.5 now and it’s hard. The last probably three weeks close to unbearable. Do you think it’s a little better for you because your a little lower? I see you post from back at 1.5 and it seems you were struggling a little more. Or is it about the same?

 

Hello! I am at 1.21mg today. I think I’m going to take it all the way to 0.01 then 0.

I don’t want any extra surprises or acute symptoms. I am feeling impatient though. It would be so nice to chunk away at it and be done.

I have felt a bit better for the last week or 2 and was considering speeding up a bit,  but I think im going to work on doing more for myself and getting back into the world. I don’t go out much, don’t work, only drive every few weeks. It’s been nice to cocoon, but I want to start getting out more. Scares me to push like that, but that’s going to be the thing that brings feelings of healing I believe.

 

How often do you decrease? (Both of you 😊)

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