Matt Samet, Mad In America: "PTSD in Withdrawal"

Here's another powerful piece of writing from Matt Samet. Having been through the hell of withdrawal, he takes a good, hard look at whether "PTSD" is an appropriate term to apply to someone who has come out the other end with a few battle scars.

 

It's a really interesting read that will, no doubt, make you reflect on your own situation.

 

http://www.madinamerica.com/2013/08/ptsd-in-withdrawal/

 

 

Thanks for posting this!  He's a wonderful writer and I have to say that even as someone given a PTSD diagnosis following profound  abuse and trauma in early life, I agree with what he wrote.  I'm different than I would have been without the trauma, but  labeling and accepting it as a mental disorder left me feeling so helpless I spent 30 years on drugs before coming to the same realization that he did -- it was time to move on, baggage included, and make the most that I can of the life I was given.  No more drugs to numb my brain and blunt fears, and no more excuses for the person that I've become.     

 

 

 

I agree, Tybee. He's a wonderful writer, and his descriptions of things can capture so well the feelings and experiences that I've had. Also, he's had me thinking deeply about so many of the things that we're all living through.

 

Good for you for making it out the other side, Tybee, and for coming to a place of strength, despite or because of what has happened to you.

Thanks, Lapis    I'm still on the "coming out the other side" journey, but far enough along to be able to stand back from it all and be fairly objective. 

 

As for Matt, he writes with great clarity and humor, willing to laugh at himself and also to take responsibility for where he's been.  I was more able to relate to his story than so many others that I've read.  He's traveled down several of the same roads that I have, and describes enough similar personality traits that I have to believe that full recovery is as attainable for me as it has been for him.  His words give me hope.       

Tybee, have you read his book? I'm considering doing so, now that I've read a number of his excellent blog entries on MIA. I just finished reading Baylissa Frederick's memoir, and it gave me much-needed hope. Sometimes it's a bit scary to read someone else's story, since we can relate to the torment so well. But if the person heals and there's wisdom in it for the rest of us, then of course, that has huge value. Baylissa's book was definitely worth reading.

Yes, I read both his book and Baylissa's.  I remember gaining strength from both, but need to go back and read them again, as I was in the depths of acute WD first read, so don't remember a lot of specifics.  His writing style in the book has been criticized by some, but it didn't bother me -- maybe because I appreciate his lack of pretentiousness.  He seems like someone I could enjoy a beer with while talking about real stuff, not BS.     

He makes excellent points and he's easy to agree with. His descriptions of this experience are right on. His book was the first I read. What he went through was quite extreme and his dosages were exceptionally high so his ability to heal is comforting. There was a LOT about climbing that wasn't as interesting to me. As always, Lapis, you bring us good stuff. Thank you.

Very comforting... 

 

I've always been athletic and have close friends who are climbers (one is a pro-climber who knows Matt), so I enjoy that part of his stories. 

 

And yes, both Lapis and the stuff she brings to the site are very good 

Hey Tybee,

Thank you for that! It's good to see you again around these parts, since we haven't crossed paths in awhile. 

 

On the climbing thing: I find it kind of interesting too, so I think I might like his book. I really do love his writing style and have found myself re-reading a couple of the paragraphs just to enjoy the beautiful use of the language -- even if he is describing something horrendous! Now that's talent!

He does have a great way with words, and I appreciate that he sometimes peppers his writings with a bit of profanity.  Guess that comes from growing up in the NJ/NY are 

 

 

He makes excellent points and he's easy to agree with. His descriptions of this experience are right on. His book was the first I read. What he went through was quite extreme and his dosages were exceptionally high so his ability to heal is comforting. There was a LOT about climbing that wasn't as interesting to me. As always, Lapis, you bring us good stuff. Thank you.

 

You're welcome, MTfan! And thanks for the book review. I'm fairly sure I'm going to get it. I've been quite careful about how I spend my money these days, but I think Matt's book might be a worthwhile splurge for me.

He does have a great way with words, and I appreciate that he sometimes peppers his writings with a bit of profanity.  Guess that comes from growing up in the NJ/NY are 

 

We do profanity up here in Canada too! I think it's everywhere! Well, I guess I don't see it in print too much, so perhaps that's a bit more unusual.

 

(By the way, one of my fave pieces of comedy is George Carlin's "The Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television". He was a master of language play, and he certainly used profanity as needed. But then, he was from New York!)

Profanity can be so therapeutic. I like that about his writing too. You don't get the sense that he does it for effect. Rather, that his language is a vital part of describing his experience of being in the world. His humanness.

 

My husband playfully teases me about my "colorful metaphors" (as profanity was described on Star Trek). I'm originally from outside of Phila. and he's from the Southern US where we now live. Sometimes only a $#%& is accurate

Yes, profanity is useful -- especially with this effing withdrawal! I like effing well enough. Everybody gets it.

 

I wasn't aware of the regional differences in swearing in the U.S.! I better brush up before (if!) I go there again. Don't want to get into trouble, do I?!

Lapis, with or without effing profanity, folks in the US would find you delightful. Now for us Ugly Americans abroad, not so sure

Some of my best friends (and family) are Americans! And we're pretty happy to host our neighbours to the south, especially with the Canadian dollar being so low. Great deal for you folks and another good way for us to show that we DO NOT live in igloos!!  (Oh, don't get me started!)

No igloos perhaps, but moose everywhere, right When I lived in Montana we once were stuck inside for a few days (we could get out only through the car in our garage) because a moose wouldn't leave our yard. It was a hungry one and you know how they get unfriendly and can charge when they're not happy. Ate all of our bushes and our toddlers wanted out, out, out (so they could pet the moose, among other things).

Profanity can be so therapeutic. I like that about his writing too. You don't get the sense that he does it for effect. Rather, that his language is a vital part of describing his experience of being in the world. His humanness.

 

My husband playfully teases me about my "colorful metaphors" (as profanity was described on Star Trek). I'm originally from outside of Phila. and he's from the Southern US where we now live. Sometimes only a $#%& is accurate

MT, I just now read your comment about Matt's language -- very well put!  I absolutely agree with you.   

I didn't know that you're another "d*#mn Yankee," but that must be why I've always appreciated your style of writing    My oldest sister lived in Warminster, PA for years and a brother is still up there.  I started life in Northern NJ and also landed in the South after some years in Illinois and California. 

 

Lapis, I've watched George Carlin's "The Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television" more than once -- definitely a good bit of comedy! 

 

Off the subject, but it really bothered me last night -- do either of you have trouble with dry eye and mouth?  It started around month 2 and just won't quit...  Last night it woke me up numerous times.  I use GenTeal's moderate to severe dry eye drops and had been using Xylimelts for dry mouth, but ran out of the Xylimelts and didn't reorder.  Thought that surely by 13 months I'd be better, but apparently not...  So back to Amazon for another 120 tablets.   

Hi Tybee,

Around here, things are very dry, thanks to central heating! So, I can't blame my issues on the benzos. Skin, eyes, mouth, etc...you name it, it's dry. But it happens every winter. I'm not sure if it's the same issue for you. I've got a little temperature gauge that also gives the relative humidity and the range of what's considered comfortable. Right now, it reads 20% relative humidity, which is in the "too dry" range. 25-55% seems to be the comfort zone. Some people get humidifiers to counteract the effects, but I can't be bothered. I just use more eye drops, drink more water, and put more moisturizer on my skin. (It's actually been a nice excuse to try some delicious-smelling moisturizers!)

 

 

Outside humidity here is 78% today (it's raining) and I've got elect heat, which isn't too drying, so guess it's all me... A humidifier in the bedroom is a good idea.  I'll have to see if there's one that's not too complicated to keep clean.  I had one years ago, but quit using it because of reports that it could breed mold and bacteria.

 

I'm with you on the wonderful moisturizers, but they only work for skin -- not eyes and mouth.  I've got a scented hand lotion on my bedside table that makes me happy every time I put it on.   

It's actually 87% humidity outside here today and it's snowing! But inside, it's a different story altogether. I do agree you should definitely NOT put those yummy moisturizers in your mouth (wrote the gal who just bought a selection of moisturizers from a company called "Delectable"! Sounds like cake!). Hopefully, there's a humidifier that's not a pain in the bum-bum to keep clean. It might just solve your problems.

Ha! My favorite hand cream is from a company called Villainess Soaps.  My favorite lotion is appropriately called Ginger Snapped, Whipped....  http://www.villainess.net/ginger-snapped-whipped.html 

 

OK -- off here and on to that warm shower...

 

Hope you're having a good day, Lapis!!! 

Omigosh, Tybee! I love the description! Perfect! "Slighty psychotic", "extra decadent", "innocent"...you'd never know they were describing a moisturizer. Body lotion fun!

 

Have a good rest of the day, Tybee! 

 

 

 

MT, I just now read your comment about Matt's language -- very well put!  I absolutely agree with you.   

I didn't know that you're another "d*#mn Yankee," but that must be why I've always appreciated your style of writing    My oldest sister lived in Warminster, PA for years and a brother is still up there.  I started life in Northern NJ and also landed in the South after some years in Illinois and California. 

 

Lapis, I've watched George Carlin's "The Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television" more than once -- definitely a good bit of comedy! 

 

Off the subject, but it really bothered me last night -- do either of you have trouble with dry eye and mouth?  It started around month 2 and just won't quit...  Last night it woke me up numerous times.  I use GenTeal's moderate to severe dry eye drops and had been using Xylimelts for dry mouth, but ran out of the Xylimelts and didn't reorder.  Thought that surely by 13 months I'd be better, but apparently not...  So back to Amazon for another 120 tablets.   

 

OMG, I went to high school in Warminster. Strange coincidence that we both grew up in the same general area then ended up in a totally different culture (southern US). When we drive in PA, we see so many folks flashing the middle finger that I started calling it the "state bird." Sometimes ya just gotta express yourself.

 

I've got the dry mouth and eye thing too. It's baffling to me how wd causes this. What the f$%# does dry mouth/eyes have to do with GABA. Cue to song, "the mouthbone's connected to the GABA receptors."

 

Can't we all identify with that lotion? Some days I feel "slightly psychotic" or "extra decadent."  Hmm. Makes me hungry just reading those words.

Ha!  The northern bird was flying in Nashville today    I was late for an appt and some rich old woman in a Jag decided to stop at a green light--I guess because she knew it would turn red soon enough.  I'd already waited for the light through 3 changes, so was fuming   My anger didn't hurt her one bit, but I just had to let the bird fly... 

 

How random that you went to Warminster HS!  I grew up in Denville, NJ, but my sister married a guy from Warminster and moved there and I visited her a lot while we both lived up north.  I can't imagine paying NJ property and income taxes now...   

 

I love your little mouthbone's connected... song!  Wish I had an answer to why the dryness, but it's just there.  The XyliMelts have made a huge difference in my ability to sleep.  Before I found them, my mouth and throat would get so dry I'd wake up in a panic thinking that I'd stop breathing because I was too dry to swallow.  Ugh!  It makes me nervous just thinking about it.  Think I'll use the thick eye gel tonight, stick in a XyliMelt (got more today) and hope for at least 7 hours of sleep.  I need it!  How's your sleep been, MT?