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Matt Samet, Mad In America: "The Blame Game"


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Here's another excellent article written by Matt Samet on the issue of blame during medication withdrawal. It's thought-provoking stuff from someone who's been there.

 

From the article:

"Here are the two Blame Game responses I’ve most often seen or experienced, and the reasons I consider both to be equally fruitless. 1) “My idiot psychiatrist never told me how dangerous these drugs were, and when I went to get off of them he didn’t give me any help and just wanted to put me on more drugs.” And, from “well-meaning” friends, family members, or if you’re unlucky enough to be trapped in the system, people in the mental-health or recovery industries (or who subscribe to that paradigm), 2) “You were the one who put chemicals in your body; how could you not know they were dangerous? You need to take responsibility for what happened.”

 

http://www.madinamerica.com/2013/07/the-blame-game/

 

 

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I understand what Matt is saying, Lapis, but I think about all the new patients who will be dependent on these drugs. We don't want to keep passing this down the line to others. I know I've blamed doctors. I've been very angry at the things doctors have told patients.

 

If it were just me and no one else, sure, somehow I'd get out of the blame game. But reading about others here who are suffering deeply, knowing that there must be a lot of others "out there" who have no idea what's happening to them, and for those who have committed suicide, I feel that there has to be some blame going on. Certainly doctors have been prescribing benzos for over 50 years. That's a well-known fact. But to not blame them and to keep the lid on the devastation that benzos have left in their wake? NO. To continue to say "my doctor didn't know, so I can't blame him/her" - no, that's got to end.

 

Matt has done A LOT in getting the word out. But the root cause of why there are so many people suffering today seems to stem from doctors' ignorance.

 

What I find so ironic in my own life is that when I was in the hospital in 2012 due to kindling from NSAIDS, I remember distinctly telling myself that I was going to listen to and follow everything the doctors told me because I had messed up big time with NSAIDS, and I was ashamed. I never bothered to read the information about those pills, except for the fact that they can cause GI problems and bleeding, But I had no stomach problems with NSAIDS, so that was that. I automatically assumed that doctors wouldn't do anything that could cause harm. That's the reason I didn't do any research whatsoever on Ativan. I should have taken a lawyer's advice I once heard: "Never assume anything."   

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I understand what Matt is saying, Lapis, but I think about all the new patients who will be dependent on these drugs. We don't want to keep passing this down the line to others. I know I've blamed doctors. I've been very angry at the things doctors have told patients.

 

If it were just me and no one else, sure, somehow I'd get out of the blame game. But reading about others here who are suffering deeply, knowing that there must be a lot of others "out there" who have no idea what's happening to them, and for those who have committed suicide, I feel that there has to be some blame going on. Certainly doctors have been prescribing benzos for over 50 years. That's a well-known fact. But to not blame them and to keep the lid on the devastation that benzos have left in their wake? NO. To continue to say "my doctor didn't know, so I can't blame him/her" - no, that's got to end.

 

Matt has done A LOT in getting the word out. But the root cause of why there are so many people suffering today seems to stem from doctors' ignorance.

 

What I find so ironic in my own life is that when I was in the hospital in 2012 due to kindling from NSAIDS, I remember distinctly telling myself that I was going to listen to and follow everything the doctors told me because I had messed up big time with NSAIDS, and I was ashamed. I never bothered to read the information about those pills, except for the fact that they can cause GI problems and bleeding, But I had no stomach problems with NSAIDS, so that was that. I automatically assumed that doctors wouldn't do anything that could cause harm. That's the reason I didn't do any research whatsoever on Ativan. I should have taken a lawyer's advice I once heard: "Never assume anything." 

 

Hi Terry,

I don't think the point is to say that there's no blame to be laid. I think the crux of it is that it doesn't help you heal. Here's a quote that sums up what he's trying to say:

 

"No matter how I came at it, the blame game was pointless and counterproductive, an exercise in futility, turning a smoldering campfire of anger into a roiling conflagration of rage that served only to perpetuate negative emotions and to get an already-jacked-up nervous system firing into hyperdrive."

 

Perhaps it's different for different people. Perhaps the anger and blame may help some, but for others, it may be "counterproductive". It's something to consider as we make our way along this painful path. The article got me thinking about this......I'm still thinking.

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Thanks, Lapis, for your response.

 

My anger would only rise up to the point of rage at times when I'd suddenly get an uptick of benzo w/d-induced chemical anxiety. I agree that it causes more harm than good to keep blaming others for what's happened, as Matt mentioned. I'm noticing that I've calmed down quite a bit in the latter months of w/d.

 

One thing I'm noticing is that the more calm I am, the less ambition I have to write about benzo w/d in order to voice my concern to the outside world. I was going to write something in Mad In America, a comment, and I still haven't gotten around to it in two weeks. Before, fueled by anxiety, I would have written it right away. Now there's the idea that I need to write something, but it takes me some time to get to it unless the chemical anxiety starts up.

 

Maybe that's what happens to a lot of us, that as the chemical anxiety fades, the more we see the benzo w/d process from a different perspective. During some rather euphoric windows earlier in w/d (a very short period of time), I suddenly couldn't remember what w/d had been like. It was a total turnaround. I just wanted to get on with my life and not even think about benzo w/d or being angry. That emotion didn't exist when it came to w/d. Of course, the w/d came back full force, and with it the benzo w/d-induced anxiety that prompted a continued flow of writing because the anxiety would lead to anger a lot of the time.

 

At some point we all move on, and as Matt said, "the blame game was pointless and counterproductive, an exercise in futility..." On the other hand, I've been a lot more outspoken about benzos during times of anger/rage than I ever would have been otherwise. Even though I still write something on almost a daily basis here on BB, the full-on rants are becoming less along with the lowering of chemical anxiety.  I want to remember what this experience was like so that I don't lose the ambition to keep working for an end to people's suffering due to benzos. There's a part of me that thinks I may not be as interested in the issue when I'm healed. 

 

If this makes any sense at all!

 

 

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[1d...]

Good article by Matt.

 

I agree, the anger does you no good while in recovery.

 

But, *after* recovering, I plan to channel that anger into some sort of action. Something really should be done to put a stop to the benzo suffering that the big-pharma/big-medical industry keeps inflicting on people.

 

Chessplayer

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I'd say that anger, disappointment and sadness are the overriding emotions for me at this point. And while I certainly feel there's blame to be laid, I know I don't want to focus on it. After this is over....who knows? I can't say right now. But education would have to be the most important part of it.

 

I don't want to be angry forever. I want this problem to end, and that requires changing the way many things are done.

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I don't want to be angry forever. I want this problem to end, and that requires changing the way many things are done.

 

Absolutely, Lapis. That's the way I feel.

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Yes, I think that this anger has fueled a lot of people to get the word out.

 

At one point I was SO angry with my doctor and actually about everything  ::)

It's a part of this process I think.

First you just can't believ it and then you get angry and then comes acceptance and finding different ways and knowing that the anger doesn't help you.

Kind of like grieving stages, maybe?

 

Yes, I'm angry about it still. But in a different way, maybe. Not raging or bringing on anxiety about it anymore. More sad I gues that this happens to so many and that something needs to change in the ways these drugs are prescribed.

 

I mostly blamed myself for not having looked into this drug. I got my first ones in the ER and really didn't even think about it. The rest of the scripts were written out by my GP, per alive from the ER. I just....never doubted it. Till I did.

 

There isn't any sense in blaming myself anymore either . I did what I could at the time and was feeling so poorly... Many people just do not know.

Can't change what happened but can hopefully contribute to spread the word.

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I think that anger is the mother of change.  When has anything important ever changed until someone got angry about it? Hell, we'd still be paying taxes to England if the colonists didn't get angry.  It's healthy to feel anger about what was done to us.  It's even healthier to saddle that anger and ride it toward something productive.  I, myself, have written several letters to my congressman, the FDA, the American Psychiatric Association, my psychiatrist, my psychiatrist's supervisor, and the CEO of my entire medical system.  I know, for a fact, that my psychiatrist had to go before a peer review committee and answer for what he had done.  I am now in the process of filing a complaint with my psychiatrist's insurance company.  Anger is natural, cathartic and productive, when used properly. O.K. I'm done with my rant now!  LOL.
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[1d...]

Right, those colonialists with their Tea Party, dumping all that British tea into the ocean.

We should organize a similar event where we dump a big stash of Valium, Ativan, Klonopin, and Xanax into the ocean.

http://i.imgur.com/fDSnKgm.jpg

Oh, and we'll need some slogans.  How about "Benzo free or die"? (I'd just have to change 1 word on my NH license plate to say that).

:)

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Nooooo! Please don't dump these drugs in the ocean! I keep reading studies about how badly the fish are being affected by the various psych meds that are either urinated out or dumped into our waters. They have all sorts of wacky effects on our finned friends. SO sad.

 

 

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Yes, that wouldn't be pretty at all, would it?!  :D

 

http://strangesounds.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/great-white-shark-mystery.jpg

 

Actually, this picture likely represents how we're feeling. Hmmmm, he looks rather angry -- or is that "hangry"?!

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Thank you Lapis. This was just what I needed this morning to help me redirect my energy. I can't help but wonder where we all would be if we didn't have the internet and BB's and Mad in America. Anyway, great article.

 

 

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[13...]
Hey Lapis -- I'm coming in on this thread a little after the fact, but want to say that my earlier anger toward my prescribing psychiatrist absolutely accomplished something.  When I went into hard withdrawal, I began to send her emails.  At first she ignored them (probably fearing a lawsuit), but then she began to respond.  She recently told me that she prescribed benzos because she thought I really needed them to treat my PTSD, but she's learned now that there were better ways to manage it!!!  :clap:  --- and she will only prescribe them to other patients in life or death situations.  Whew!  So it took me going through 30 years of tolerance withdrawals and the last 13 months of full withdrawal to fully open her eyes.  I'm sure she knew on some level that benzos were very risky for many of us, but now she admits that she knows it.  She really does have a good heart, but was a typical pill pushing doctor for too many years.  Five years ago when my panic attacks were poorly controlled and I had to have surgery, she closed her office for the day, came to the hospital, and held me like a child while I was going in and out of anesthesia, which has always scared the crap out of me.  Good people do things like that.  She did make some significant errors with benzos, but she thought she was helping me.  Forgiving her has been so much healthier than being angry was, but as others have said, the anger ended up being constructive too.  As a PS to all that, I no longer see her or any psychiatrist.  I've learned that the main tool of their trade is drugs, which i want no part of.   
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Wow, Tybee! That's amazing, re: your doc! I'm so impressed. I think you've done a very good deed -- both for yourself and for others -- by teaching/guiding/leading that doctor to see clearly what was going on. That's a very courageous thing for you to do, and for her, too. I admit that I don't understand the U.S. health care system very well, but I do observe that there's a lot of suing going on. It just doesn't happen much here, and so the atmosphere is different. But if your doctor put aside here fears of being sued in order to reach an understanding of how best to help you, then that's a major change in her thinking.

 

I love the image of your doc holding you while you were going through a fearful time. Yes, yes, yes! That's what good people do, and if there was more of that, I think there'd be less prescribing of stupid, dangerous drugs that can do years of damage. We need human contact and support and understanding, and if psychiatry continues to focus on pills for ills of the soul, then it will hopefully go the way of the dodo bird. Well, let's hope it does, anyway.

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[13...]
Lapis, you're so right about our need for human contact and support.  Appropriate amounts of it would certainly have kept many of us off of the drugs in the first place.  Right too about the litigious nature of this country.  Some people are afraid that if docs can't be sued, there won't be anything to keep them hard working and honest, but having worked in the medical field for 35 years, I know that's mostly untrue.  Bad doctors and nurses will always exist, but the majority want to do the best that they can for their patients.  Our problem now is enormous burnout, mainly a result of being terribly overworked...  For psychiatrists, insurance changes prevent them from billing for an hour of talk therapy (which they could do in the past) and turns them into 15 minute pill pushers instead.  Many get out of the profession because of it.  Medical torte reform might help to rebalance the finances of it all, but since the pharmaceutical industry is so crooked, I honestly believe that it should be EASIER to sue them than it's been.   
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The last thing we need is tort reform. I recently watched a state senate hearing on this since some states have introduced reform. The idea that there are too many medical malpractice lawsuits is a myth, promulgated by the insurance industry:

 

http://press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/036480.html

 

Follow the money trail, and once again we see it goes back to the corporations that are literally taking over this country.

 

 

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