withdrawing from klonopin, norco, AND Z Drugs...(sorry, I didn't know...)

 OK.  I got into bed tonight, and the pains started in my feet and legs...I could NOT get comfortable, and I started thinking, "These are the same pains that I originally started taking darvocet for!"  I think I need a "talking to" again by the moderators.  ALL of these years...really, truly over 12 years...I took darvocet, and then Norco for these pains, thinking (as the doctors said) that I had fibromyalgia or myofascial pain (when it moved into my shoulders and neck).  Klonopin has been in my system for 17 years, and over the past few weeks (doing some research) I began to think that all this pain is really from tolerance withdrawal from the klonopin.

I still have that little voice saying to me, as I am tapering off the klonopin and feeling the exact same pain that I have felt all these years..."What if it isn't the klonopin at all?  What if you really do have fibro or myofacial pain...and you go through getting off the klonopin and the unrelenting pain is still there?  

It is at these times at night, when I am alone in the guest room (because my bed is too hard and I can't seem to do anything to make it better) that I find I REALLY need a PEP TALK!  I will not go back to opiates.  I am done with those.  I will not quit tapering the klonopin.  I don't mean to sound so "weak" when it comes to pain.  I have endured all these years.  But my hope about the pain leaving when my withdrawals are all done...my hope is not very high. This is what I get like every night...that feeling of hopelessness.

Pep talk, please?

~Leena

Softtail, please forgive me...I NEVER want to disparage someone taking an opiate if it is necessary.  My last post may have made it sound that way.  Because I DID have a very difficult withdrawal (and maybe it was because I was withdrawing from the fentanyl from my accident) I am now very leery about taking an opiate again.

What I am finding is that I am having to increase my neurontin to taper my klonopin.  I can't tell which are symptoms from the neurontin increase and which are symptoms from the klonopin decrease.  You are so right...it is like robbing from Peter to pay Paul.

I need to look around on the forum threads to see what others say about neurontin.

Again, please forgive what must have sounded like real insensitivity on my part. 

~Leena

 OK.  I got into bed tonight, and the pains started in my feet and legs...I could NOT get comfortable, and I started thinking, "These are the same pains that I originally started taking darvocet for!"  I think I need a "talking to" again by the moderators.  ALL of these years...really, truly over 12 years...I took darvocet, and then Norco for these pains, thinking (as the doctors said) that I had fibromyalgia or myofascial pain (when it moved into my shoulders and neck).  Klonopin has been in my system for 17 years, and over the past few weeks (doing some research) I began to think that all this pain is really from tolerance withdrawal from the klonopin.

 

I still have that little voice saying to me, as I am tapering off the klonopin and feeling the exact same pain that I have felt all these years..."What if it isn't the klonopin at all?  What if you really do have fibro or myofacial pain...and you go through getting off the klonopin and the unrelenting pain is still there?  

 

It is at these times at night, when I am alone in the guest room (because my bed is too hard and I can't seem to do anything to make it better) that I find I REALLY need a PEP TALK!  I will not go back to opiates.  I am done with those.  I will not quit tapering the klonopin.  I don't mean to sound so "weak" when it comes to pain.  I have endured all these years.  But my hope about the pain leaving when my withdrawals are all done...my hope is not very high. This is what I get like every night...that feeling of hopelessness.

 

Pep talk, please?

 

~Leena

Hi Leena, here's your pep talk.  It sounds to me as if you truly know in your heart that's it's been the benzo's all along.  The fact that you're not going to take an opiate, you're not going to increase your Klonopin tells me you're in this to validate what you already suspect. 

I know in the darkest hours of the night, when you can't sleep and you're in pain the negative thoughts haunt you.  I don't know why the night has to be so dark and desperate, but it is for most of us. 

You're not weak Leena, benzo withdrawal manufactures fear.  It's one of the withdrawal symptoms.  I was frozen with it for too long, it accompanied the paranoia and agoraphobia.  It's lying to you, try not to listen.  Listen instead to us, who have been here and know the truth.

Keep going, put your faith in us and your own body's ability to heal.  We and it won't steer you wrong.

Pam

Softtail, please forgive me...I NEVER want to disparage someone taking an opiate if it is necessary.  My last post may have made it sound that way.  Because I DID have a very difficult withdrawal (and maybe it was because I was withdrawing from the fentanyl from my accident) I am now very leery about taking an opiate again.

 

What I am finding is that I am having to increase my neurontin to taper my klonopin.  I can't tell which are symptoms from the neurontin increase and which are symptoms from the klonopin decrease.  You are so right...it is like robbing from Peter to pay Paul.

 

I need to look around on the forum threads to see what others say about neurontin.

 

Again, please forgive what must have sounded like real insensitivity on my part. 

 

~Leena

Hi Leena,

I ran across this today, wanted you to see what PPJ has to say about neurontin.

Hi Brian -

 

Doc placed me on Neurontin (300-900mgs) and I am also scared about how it is affecting my taper. I have taken it for the first 3-4 days after a cut, then drop it until the next cut. I told her I was doing this and she got ticked and told me to take MORE. I've relented and am taking more, but now I have horrendous tinnitus.

 

Glad you're doing well. Hang in there.....you WILL make it through all this!

 

PPJ 

Hi Leena,

Yes, I've taken Neurontin.  But not well.  It didn't help my pain and made me feel drunk beyond belief.  Also could not seem to get the car inbetween the white lines while parking. 

Neurontin (gabapentin) and Lyrica (pregabalin) both effect GABA.  So....for what that's worth. 

As for your original pain Leena...TAKE HEART!!!!  I am here to tell you, that there are other solutions.  Yes there are.  We haven't even begun to discuss what you eat, your hormone situation, and all of that.  There are so many options here Girlfriend, it's going to make your head spin. 

First, I'd definitely bring up your Klon taper with your neurologist.  You never know, he could be the hot ticket.  And be assertive with the PA.  Ask her to please slow down (or something). 

Second, when is the last time you had your hormones tested?  (one of my favorite topics!) 

adelia

Oh my goodness...I had just typed a reply and somehow hit a key that deleted everything!  Hmmm....

Pam, thank you for the pep talk and for the little post about neurontin.  Since it has ceased to be very effective, and since it seems to add to my depression, I think I am just going to stop.  I haven't been taking the amount in my signature for several days now, because I can't seem to tolerate it during the day.  BUT, in order to have ANY effectiveness at night, I have to take 600mg.  And though it might help take the "edge" off, it doesn't help that much.

I got out and walked hard for 1 hour and 20 minutes this morning.  I think that is going to be really important for me, even if only to prove to myself I can do it "in my shape". I would also like to try to swim in the afternoons, when I have time.  And, if I can't sleep at night I don't think I will stay in bed.  I will get up and DO something.

Adelia...I am dying to hear what you do for pain!  I think part of my "fear" is not just the chronic pain I had for so long, but also the pain I am still dealing with since my fall.  My ribs are fine...no pain there, but I broke my pelvis in multiple places and there IS still pain there.  The orthopedist said it would take 4-6 months to heal, and then another 6 months for me to feel "normal" OR to find out what my "new" normal is.

About hormones...I have never had testing done.  I AM on a hormone patch, since I am in menopause.  Have been on patches for just over a year.  One thing that is coming up for me on Oct. 23 is a consultation with a man that does nutritional counseling for an oncologist practice here.  He will do all that kind of testing (I am sure hormones will be included) and then hopefully put me on a program to help with pain issues.  He is very diet/supplement oriented...NOT drugs. 

OK...once again thanks to both of you for your patience and understanding. I am trying not to be hysterical

~Leena

So glad to hear you're going to see someone to work on the whole you.  Someone who isn't interested in drowning you in drugs.  It's good you're walking, many people swear by exercise through this.  You really can't go wrong with it, we all need to do more of that, every little bit helps your body and your mind. 

Leena, you're not hysterical this is a very difficult process.  It was the worst thing I've had to live through, you're handling it with dignity, believe me!

Keep posting, we'll talk you through this. 

Thank you, Pam.  It means a lot to me that you would say that (that I am handling this with dignity).  I am scared to death.  I appreciate that you know that and will still tell me I am handling this with dignity.

I will let you know what happens with the neurologist tomorrow.  Thank you for caring.

~Leena

Leena, good job with your walking and all.  I'm very impressed with you.  And as Pam says, the "whole you" needs attention and it's so nice to get that.  Chronic pain is a very interesting thing.  It can't really be isolated from the whole you.  So it takes all of you to get it better too.  Including hormones, which are really KEY in pain management. 

So, let me get this straight.  A dr. has put you on a hormone patch (presumably a synthetic estrogen) without testing your hormones first, to see if you needed it.  This is the kind of thing that DRIVES ME NUTS!!!  Okay, I better not get started on thist topic so late at night.  Just wanted to drop in and say "hi"...there will be plenty of time to talk about all of this.

Anyway, I've noticed that recoverying from bad benzos is really taking a huge effort to get my entire body working again....from all the little things to the big things.  It's a search for balance across the spectrum of living life -- from relationships to eating habits to hormones.  And how bad can that be? 

adelia

Leena, don't worry, I hate the thought of having to take the opiate , even if it is a small amount, 

any drug that has the potential of becoming addictive , makes me sick to have to deal with,  but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Many researchers are looking at the rls syndrome, and I hope one day, they are able to come up with cure.  or if not that , possibly a less potentially addictive way of dealing with symptoms.  Learned alot about addiction , with the benzo's and don't want to add withdrawl from another drug to that pile.

st.

  Well, I wanted to update on my doctor visit yesterday...and to talk about two "mistakes" I made last night.

First, the visit to the neurologist/pain specialist.  I saw the PA, who as usual was very nice.  I had determined, since I am having a hard time thinking, that I would go in and ask her opinion of tolerance withdrawal from klonopin AND about tapering off.  Would try to keep it simple.  Her first question was why would I want to get off the klonopin if I am in pain?  And she said I was on such a small amount anyway, I could just stop.  Things sort of went downhill from there.  Honestly, I was so tired from sleeping so little for ?? days.  She has me boiled down to 2 pains:the neuropathy and the fibro.  Said the neurontin would work on the neuropathy...and when I told her I did not want any pain medication for the fibro she commenced to show me stretching exercises (which I REALLY wanted to learn!) but I was so brain dead.  I  kept trying to do what she was telling me to do with "holding onto one elbow, putting the other hand on my shoulder (or was it the other way around???)"...Finally she looked at me and said,"You are not focusing.  You are not focusing, are you?"   I don't know what she must have thought. She did ask me about muscle relaxers...and when she mentioned writing me a RX for Soma, I caved.  She thinks I need to sleep.  I thought trying it, only on certain nights, couldn't hurt too much.  She also told me to quit walking on the ground, but just to walk in the swimming pool...which was a downer because I felt like walking hard and sweating would be good for me.

Fast forward: My husband and I attended a wedding last night, and didn't get home for the usual time for me to take my evening .125 mg klonopin.  SO...I decided to just skip it, and go ahead and taper on to just the .125 mg.

around lunch.  And, about midnight I decided to try 1/2 of a soma.  By 12:45 am I had taken the other half.  IT WAS A TERRIBLE NIGHT.  The post nasal drip I have been having was the worst ever, and my leg muscles...man, they burned so badly.  It was after 4:00 am before I finally got some semblance of "sleep" and woke before 7:00.

I decided, this morning, to go ahead and take the missing dose of klonopin...and that I want to learn to do the liquid titration. And...no more soma.  I MAY have to go back to the neurontin for my legs...I have been off 2 days.

Do I need to go to the TAPERING section to get help with an exact plan for how long to stay on .25 daily dose and then how to start going down?

SO tired...awful sore throat from the drainage, feel like I have the flu...and my husband returns to work (the pastorate) with me in tow tomorrow morning.      Thoughts?

~Leena

Wow Leena, what a terrible day and night you had.  Lack of sleep is killer, it makes us dull, lifeless and yes brain dead.  I don't doubt the PA was concerned, trouble is prescribing more drugs seems to be the way they show their concern. 

I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to not be able to distinguish what is benzo withdrawal and your original pain issues.  I hope by the time you're healed, you'll be close to being pain free.

If you'd like to try titration, we can certainly help you.  I'm going to give you a link to the instructions and what Colin will need and a video to help you understand it a little better.   

Instructions: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=6393.msg61329#msg61329

Video part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RzUvM6M55s

Video part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z4vckQcT2M&feature=related

You can do this, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other to get where you want to be.

I think you'll do the best in the long run by listening to yourself.  No matter what your PA or anyone else says.  (Except us!  hahaha) Just kidding.  Seriously though, that includes us.  We can only give our experiences and opinions, but everyone has to judge and "intuit" for themselves the best course of action, at all times.  We've all done some stupid things, and we've all done some smart things.  Either way, most of us here at BB have gotten off not only benzos, but other meds too.  And so will you!!!! 

Glad you took your missing Klon dose.  After years of being on it, any "change" in dosage can throw you into withdrawals....which means any kind of flu-like aching, muscle problems, brain distress, or body pain extraordinaire in ways one can hardly imagine.  Have you read the list of possible symptoms? 

That's why tapering is based on keeping the dose constant.  Until it changes.  Same amounts, same times.  Then keeping THAt dose constant.  By keeping all the meds as constant as possible (until there's a cut), then hopefully this will minimize sickness and pain from that source.  Until you eliminate one med and go to work on another.  This is the way I see it. 

adelia

Oh my goodness...I had just typed a reply and somehow hit a key that deleted everything!  Hmmm....

 

Pam, thank you for the pep talk and for the little post about neurontin.  Since it has ceased to be very effective, and since it seems to add to my depression, I think I am just going to stop.  I haven't been taking the amount in my signature for several days now, because I can't seem to tolerate it during the day.  BUT, in order to have ANY effectiveness at night, I have to take 600mg.  And though it might help take the "edge" off, it doesn't help that much.

 

I got out and walked hard for 1 hour and 20 minutes this morning.  I think that is going to be really important for me, even if only to prove to myself I can do it "in my shape". I would also like to try to swim in the afternoons, when I have time.  And, if I can't sleep at night I don't think I will stay in bed.  I will get up and DO something.

 

Adelia...I am dying to hear what you do for pain!  I think part of my "fear" is not just the chronic pain I had for so long, but also the pain I am still dealing with since my fall.  My ribs are fine...no pain there, but I broke my pelvis in multiple places and there IS still pain there.  The orthopedist said it would take 4-6 months to heal, and then another 6 months for me to feel "normal" OR to find out what my "new" normal is.

 

About hormones...I have never had testing done.  I AM on a hormone patch, since I am in menopause.  Have been on patches for just over a year.  One thing that is coming up for me on Oct. 23 is a consultation with a man that does nutritional counseling for an oncologist practice here.  He will do all that kind of testing (I am sure hormones will be included) and then hopefully put me on a program to help with pain issues.  He is very diet/supplement oriented...NOT drugs. 

 

OK...once again thanks to both of you for your patience and understanding. I am trying not to be hysterical

 

~Leena

 

 

Been meaning to get back to you on the "pain" Leena. 

One of the best things I've found recently is INFRARED HEAT.  For pain and healing.  It works well on healing structural things, like bones, muscles, etc.  IMO.  I have a little "wand" that I use on my neck injury, for muscle spasms, chest pain (benzos), painful teeth, -- also have used for bronchitis, sinus infections, --- just wherever I can put it. 

Large pads can also be purchased too, kind of like a heating pad, that can be put across the back, or in your case, your pelvis or ribcage or legs -- is what I'm thinking. 

Infrared heat is basically that type of heat wave (ray) from the sun.  Geez, I didnt' say that very well, but you know what I mean.  You can't even feel the heat on your body but it heats deeply and even can kill bacteria. 

These things can be ordered online.  I have a "Kenkowave" but I'm not recommending that brand over any other.  I think there are lots of types available.  Maybe I'll do a bit more checking for you on the big pads.  I think it could REALLY help some of your pains from the broken bones and such.  Will help the healing of them too. 

If you can find  an INFRARED SAUNA in your area, then that could be a huge boost.  Then you get it all over your body and it has huge healing properties.  It supposedly speeds up the detox process.  I think Ashton speaks of it in her book (refernce on that later...sorry).  I tried it for my early benzo w/d's and it made me feel hugely better for a few days.  Alas, my heartrate would get too high (from benzo w/d's) in the sauna. 

I think it's important to have "something" to do for the pain.  It gives a sense of comfort and security around it, and helps calm the fears.  Which as you say, are difficult to deal with at times.  Right? 

More pain tips coming....how is your pain doing anyway?

adelia

Hello Buddies,

I have stayed off the forum a couple of days to give my mind a rest from thinking about withdrawal symptoms!

Today, I have gone and read the whole conversation with "help me!"  (gayle) and I see how easy it is for us to get "stuck" out of fear.  I think much of my fear has centered around the "what if" of "what if all these things I am experiencing aren't really withdrawal symptoms, but rather something I am going to be stuck with my whole life?"  However, I won't know until I take the plunge, will I?

I made it through yesterday, still on the .125 mg. K twice a day...but last night did not fall asleep until 5:30ish this morning.  And that was with taking 600mg. neurontin to help with the pain.  Obviously, even if the neurontin helps the pain somewhat, I am still pretty sleepless.  I had to go and do a painting estimate this morning, and while there I started getting the worst headache and nausea.  I remembered I forgot to take my morning dose of K.  Could barely make it through the appointment with a smile on my face.  Drove home as fast as I could...  Had to take an imitrex for the headache.  And, though I really wanted to try to not take that morning dose, I took it at 3:30 this afternoon.

J

Sorry, I had to split this up as my computer is acting weird.  Ok...my 3 options:

1.  Just jump off...take the plunge.  Don't take my night dose of  .125 and then stop totally tomorrow.

2.  Stay at .25 mg. to see if I ever get stable, and then dry cut down.

3.  Use Theresa's advice to Gayle about using a .5mg pill and titrating.  This actually is something I could start tomorrow, because I have 5cc syringes since my son is diabetic.  I wouldn't have to order a graduated cylinder.

Does this make sense?

I think I have hit a point where I want to just quit.  I can't tell what is klonopin acting on me, what is neurontin, and of course I am still on cymbalta.  Don't know if that comes into play or not.  Cymbalta I will stay on till this taper is done and side effects are gone.  But I want to quit both klonopin and neurontin.

Adelia, thank you so much for the advice on pain.  I will look into the infrared.

SO grateful for you still, Leena

I am embarrassed about my poor number skills!  I don't know what I was thinking about the syringes being a substitute for the cylinder.  They would have to be awfully big syringes, wouldn't they?

Anyway, I just ordered my cylinder and my pill crusher.  Should be here by the time I am ready to stop cutting my pills.

All of you are so helpful and wonderful and admirable!  Tonight I am encouraged...

~Leena

leena , I think you will find titration a much more accurate way of reducing your benzo's.  I used it to titrate 10% of the clono off each week for 10 weeks.  After a while it becomes a routine.  I used water cause you did not need to refrigerate.  Both Tc and I followed the same route, and it was fun to see each week  how much additional clono you were putting down the drain, instead of into your body

ST.

Thank you, Softtail.  I am feeling less intimidated about titrating now.  Somehow everything I have had to think about very hard during this process just sends my brain into outer space.  You all help take away a lot of the "heavy" thinking by all your helpful advice.

Off to try to get some sleep tonight!

~Leena

Leena, don't be embarrassed about anything that's going on with you.  We've all felt the way you're feeling.  Everything is so overwhelming and just plain hard.  The simplest tasks are mountains we can't face and when we do tackle them we're rarely successful.

Dumb story I've shared a couple of times to illustrate this point.  I have a cloth covered piece of foam rubber I use for sleeping when camping.  I washed the cloth cloth then attempted to put the foam rubber back into the cloth.  I worked for what seemed like hours to get that back in and finally gave up.  A couple of healing months later I attempted it again.  Oh my gosh, it went in without a hitch.  I was so excited I called my family to tell them what I'd done!  They thought I was nuts, why would I get excited about a thing like that?  Because that thing got the best of me and I couldn't beat it.  Everything is so hard in this process. 

Take your small victories and relish them, put off the huge tasks for when you're healed.  Everything is easy after this, everything. 

  Thank you for sharing that example, Pam.  I guess the more I am finding out about klonopin, and then thinking about the amount of time that I have possibly been in tolerance withdrawal...I wonder if THIS is why I seem to have lost so much "control" over my home environment.  I have always attributed the fact that I just can't seem to get on top of anything anymore to stress.  I mean, I have even gotten to where I dread Christmas!  Maybe I have been rendered more "helpless" and brainless and unable to concentrate because of this stuff with the klonopin.  17 years is a long time (not that I was in withdrawal that long)  and I feel like I am always barely keeping my head above water.  Not a good situation when you have a family, a job, and a husband in the ministry! 

I do so appreciate your continued encouragement!

~Leena

Sorry, I had to split this up as my computer is acting weird.  Ok...my 3 options:

 

1.  Just jump off...take the plunge.  Don't take my night dose of  .125 and then stop totally tomorrow.

2.  Stay at .25 mg. to see if I ever get stable, and then dry cut down.

3.  Use Theresa's advice to Gayle about using a .5mg pill and titrating.  This actually is something I could start tomorrow, because I have 5cc syringes since my son is diabetic.  I wouldn't have to order a graduated cylinder.

Does this make sense?

 

I think I have hit a point where I want to just quit.  I can't tell what is klonopin acting on me, what is neurontin, and of course I am still on cymbalta.  Don't know if that comes into play or not.  Cymbalta I will stay on till this taper is done and side effects are gone.  But I want to quit both klonopin and neurontin.

 

Adelia, thank you so much for the advice on pain.  I will look into the infrared.

 

SO grateful for you still, Leena

 

 

Hi Leena,

So glad to hear you've settled on titration.  When we're in the thick of symptoms from one, or many, drugs -- it's hard to figure things out.  That's a given.  In some ways, no need to even try. 

PLEEZ don't consider jumping off.  I mean, it's up to you of course.  It's not recommended ONLY because it's so difficult.  And if you get such severe symptoms just missing a dose, that means....you know what.  Your body is already finely dependent on it, and even missing a dose by hours sends you into w/d's.  Believe that this can be true.  I could hardly believe it myself, but these drugs can do that.  If you jump off, or start cutting complete doses, then you run the risk of being so sick and intolerant of the misery your body will suddenly start feeling, that you'll be at risk of reinstating.  And if this cycle repeats over and over, well, let's just say that benzos for some people (especially long terms users) are not forgiving after awhile.  These are just my thoughts on this subject. 

I know it's hard to be patient.  I can tell you are a very accomplished person, used to "making things happen".  So there's probably a need to also make this happen, or make it go away if nothing else, right?  Well, you can make it go away howevver you want, but I am here to tell you, as are others.....there are easy ways to make it go away (slow taper), and really really hard ways to make it go away (jumping off).

Do you think you'll start a log/journal of your doses and symptoms?

Also, did you used to take your dose at once at night?  I can't remember now.  You needed to split it up for some reason.  I hope you'll be able to focus on getting some sleep, if possible.  It's challenging at first, and will naturally get better.  But there are some "things" that can be done to help promote it. 

Interesting, your thoughts on others' fears.  Yes, the fears are a big thing.  They can drive us either direction, I think.  I've found there is an entire range of people and personalities here at BB -- from totally fearful to suffering in silence.  I love that this place offers such a mix and range of experiences too!  From slow slow tapers to sudden CT's.  We've got it all here. 

hey, good job on giving yourself a break from thinking about benzos and w/d's.  We all need that too! 

adelia 

p.s.  Pam, I love your story.  I have a bunch of little stories like that.  One main problem I"ve had is breaking all my dishes!  With all the muscle problems, coordination is kind of an issue.  My arm will just, out of the blue, suddenly sweep dishes off the counter or my hand will let them go.  Early on, I broke a lot of nice stuff.  Then the other day, I was looking at a nice little dish and thought...hmmm, I haven't broken this one yet, NICE.  I must be healing! 

 

 

p.s.  Pam, I love your story.  I have a bunch of little stories like that.  One main problem I"ve had is breaking all my dishes!  With all the muscle problems, coordination is kind of an issue.  My arm will just, out of the blue, suddenly sweep dishes off the counter or my hand will let them go.  Early on, I broke a lot of nice stuff.  Then the other day, I was looking at a nice little dish and thought...hmmm, I haven't broken this one yet, NICE.  I must be healing! 

Arms a flapping every which way, I can just see you adelia.  We have all sorts of ways in which we measure our healing around here.  Hey Leena, you'll have to pay attention so you'll know when you start to see improvement.   

Thank you Pam and Adelia.  Both of you are wonderful.

Yes, I have a problem with being patient.  One would think that I would have learned, through recovering from the accidence, at least a little more of that.  I am paying for impatience today...by taking one of those long hard walks this morning.  When I was at the pain doctor, the PA told me not to walk unless I walk in a swimming pool.  I had already started walking and I hated to stop.  She thinks I "just" have fibro and neuropathy...definitely did not take me seriously about the pain possibly being from withdrawals.  The way I have seen it, if I walk hard and get out of breath and sweat, maybe it will get done faster (or am I kidding myself?)  The pain is getting worse, not better...and it has already been bad a long, long time!  (And you know me and those little voices that whisper in my ear, "What if it is fibro (which is your brain magnifying pain) AND withdrawals (and my brain magnifies the withdrawal pain??)  I hate the "what ifs".

I do have a question...about sleep.  I know how you feel about me doing an opiate...but if I can't sleep tonight, do you think it would be just awful if I took a norco?  I know it isn't very long lasting, but I have not had more than 2 hours of sleep most nights.  My muscles just ache too badly.  I haven't had time yet to look into the infrared heat...

My computer won't let me type more...can't figure it out!  Love,

Leena