YES WE DO HEAL AS WE TAPER, I HAVE PERSONAL PROOF ITS TRUE

While I was in tolerance withdrawal for over 10 year's and didn't know it my weight kept going too far under and over up and down like a yo yo, until I hit a point where for 5 yeAr's I was seriously under weight not matter what I did. One day my now ex looked a me strangely, pointed at my abdomen, and said what's happened to your skin? Now in all the time I was underweight, over weight, my skin in that area had remained youthful looking, I'm from a Family that has good 'anti ageing'' genes, and all look way younger than they are.

 

But I was the 'Dorian Grey'' of the Family looking younger than even themuch younger family members as I got older. I am the eldest of three but everyone thought I was 'the baby'' even my own family used to forget.  At 47 I looked in my early twenties, but that changed practically over night, and continued rapidly. 

 

My face aged in a short time until I now look like someone in their late sixties, seventies, but at the same time I had been admitted to hospital yet again as I was still getting sicker and no one knew what was wrong (tolerance withdrawal) and a young female Doctor who injected me said 'wow!! you got really good skin, look at that! it snapped straight back.. Which made things even more baffling, what the hell was happening to me? I had cried and said that sentence more times than I can remember while not knowing it was Benzo withdrawal all along. :'(

 

My face looked ancient, the skin on my arms looked like a teenagers skin, and after leaving hospital the skin on my abdomen looked as if it had come away from the flesh and muscle, and was now hanging off my body. As if I had been morbidly obese and lost about 350lbs too fast, hanging down like a slack crêpey sheet of skin and resting on my thighs. After five year's of being unable to gain the weight, when I began tapering I went from 98llbs to 175lb in three weeks, and was by then convinced my abdominal skin would resolve with the weight gain but it never it was still there even with my hugely tight and swollen Benzo belly this hanging crepe porridge textured skin was still there. 

 

It was now over six yaer's about to be seven next month, and with ever growing more severe symptoms I'd totally forgotten about it for nearly a year. Last night I was in my bathroom when I looked down to pick something up and noticed my abdominal has now ''re-youthed'' its self as I taper!!! Its tight, and looks good again with no sign of any damage of the crepe porridge texture it was for so long, and looks a lot younger than I actually am. 

 

I still have a Benzo belly and  weigh slightly less than175lbs, I'm now 171, my normal weight hovers between 133 to 140 depending on how active I've am, and although I have always eaten a really good diet you can still pig out and gain weight on what's good for you know

 

Also my legs were all lumpy covered in cellulite from the tolerance withdrawal and I had good legs too  for my age, and that's improving too, I noticed that this morning as I was too in awe staring at the abdominal skin renewal and taking pictures of it to make sure I'm not deluded as it looks so good, and no looseness at all. My face still looks as if I walked in to the fountain of youth backwards and come out ancient but that don't matter, it will get better I have the proof on my body to know that's the truth. And what I can't see is also healing even if I feel the opposite, if I can see that on the surface what's happening I can't see? 

 

I really believed my skin was like it forever after all this time and was living in hope of improvements in the physical agonising disabling symptoms, and my mental realm not taking too long before it showed some improvement. But not being daft enough to look at a short healing period I know these things take time. I always believed we do heal tapering but many do not but I am here to tell you THEY ARE WRONG!!!!! Its hell but its happening, I AM HEALING!!

 

I have terrible moments of despair and I get moments of dis- belief about the severity of my suffering. And the length of time I was poly drugged after Benzo withdrawal was misdiagnosed to begin with and continuing misdiagnosis plus more drugs and needless operations and in tolerance withdrawal, all in all 38 year's . That's over two thirds of my life, I was a teenager when this journey began I am now fifty six, age doesn't matter healing does, I can't rush it or predict it but its coming along in its time.

 

I may have disbelief about what's happened and what's happening to us all now but I have always believed even when this suffering makes believing seem futile we ALL heal if we stop putting a stop watch on healing time. We can't predict the unpredictable or the non linear path of healing, get the hell out of the way and let your body get on with its job, the only thing you need to put in your mouth is good food clean water, or any healthy beverage your not reacting to, NO BOOZE, SODA or so called ''HEALTH' DRINKS''.

 

I am against supplements some people are not but to me its just throwing a spanner in the works, generations of really poor  people  with hardly any food to eat lived long active lives and still do. Go look at the worlds oldest living people in our times. They work hard labour eat sparingly, never sweat the small stuff. And have faith that the big stuff will resolve its self in time, and they smile a LOT, and the strong take care of the weak and vulnerable. 

 

The have never and do not take supplements, vits, powders, potions money making ''diet plans' or freak out wearing their self out looking for ''the cure'' when ill. They accept it, and allow the body to heal, they drink and eat their usual fare or if no appetite water and clear broths until the can stomach solids again

 

So the next time anyone on here says you need ''supplements, vits'' etc in order to heal, or the .''Famous'' line 'We don't start healing until we get of the drugs''. Tell them from me........... NOVA SAID YOU ARE WRONG ITS CRAP, WE HEAL AS WE TAPER!! :clap:

 

 

 

 

http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/fireworks/fireworks-animated-gif-14.gif

                                                            http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/fireworks/fireworks-animated-gif-22-2.gif

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Love Nova XXX  :smitten:

 

                                                                                                                                         

Thank you Nova for this, after going through failed tapers, because I went too fast and cut too much, I told myself that I would try one more time,

 

but that I need to change how I thought about all of this. With that being said, this taper has been so different, I do have sx's, but trust me only ant

 

hills compared to what I went through, where I was literally picking myself off the floor more than walking. I also believe that we heal as we go, if we

 

do not rush and make a timeline and not cut too much, our CNS must heal in between these cuts, and it is waking up from a drug imposed sleep, and

 

because the Brain is complex it takes time to Heal, but if you hang on and keep trying to move forward and try to change your thoughts to Positive

 

ones, it seems to work, anyway it is working for me, and if it is not broke I am not changing it, I know many say bla bla bla, but that is OK, I do not

 

walk in anyone's shadow, I walk in my own LIGHT and I am saying YES WE DO HEAL WHILE WE TAPER!!!!!!!!!!   

 

 

Bets how dare you steal the only pic I have of my well toned abs, do you have no shame? 

Way to go Nova: 2 years ago, I looked like I was 29. Today, I look like I am 65. I hope it turns out like you said. And I'm still very worried about you. This damn benzo nonsense you have should have gone away from you a long time ago.

 

Gotta love this: NOVA SAID YOU ARE WRONG ITS CRAP, WE HEAL AS WE TAPER!! :clap:

 

http://static.tumblr.com/2c17623a9827a096eb7e4cb82863ff8f/wwkgl83/sdmmk9sq8/tumblr_static_555138_10151469854508480_1674192945_n.jpg

 

http://hellowellness.com.au/wp-content/themes/genesis-hellowellness/images/blueLOGO.png

 

http://www.skinenergizer.com/v/vspfiles/assets/images/stomach-firming-exercises.jpg

 

Hugs,  Bets

I agree that we heal as we taper. I have certainly healed a ton.

 

I also think that SOME supplements are helpful. I continue to take Vit D, C and Inositol. 

Nova, glad to hear of your 'healing epiphany'  ! There's nowhere to go but, uh, more skin tautness  etc. And Bets, I hear ya on the inverse Dorian Gray pic scenario; okay, so I'm more or less middle aged now , but if I look at my driver's license photo from 4 years ago, I'm this grinning/blonde/effervescent gal vs. the photo taken last fall, in which I've apparently been transformed into one of the scarier looking women on "Orange is the New Black" (i.e. convict hag). From chirpy to grim, uh, it blows !! Sometimes being in denial is mandatory!

 

p.s. I do TOTALLY believe we heal as we taper  !! And where'd ya find that photo of my abs, Bets; that's copyrighted, ya know! (BA HA HA !!!! )

Yes, we do heal as we taper. I'm proof, even though I'm in acute right now, and ain't this fun! 

 

Hey Bets, those abs—I think belong to the "sick woman on the couch" in K Klub.

Yes, we do heal as we taper. I'm proof, even though I'm in acute right now, and ain't this fun! 

 

Hey Bets, those abs—I think belong to the "sick woman on the couch" in K Klub.

 

No they are a pix of my abs.  I found it at the same site as your couch potato model.

 

bab: but if I look at my driver's license photo from 4 years ago, I'm this grinning/blonde/effervescent gal vs. the photo taken last fall, in which I've apparently been transformed into one of the scarier looking women on "Orange is the New Black" (i.e. convict hag). From chirpy to grim, uh, it blows !! Sometimes being in denial is mandatory!

 

p.s. I do TOTALLY believe we heal as we taper  !! And where'd ya find that photo of my abs, Bets; that's copyrighted, ya know! (BA HA HA !!!! )

 

Those those are your abs? They can't be, as I just took  a pix of my own from my phone. I like to think I look like the red haired nasty drug dealing kitchen supervisor from Orange, even tho my hair is brown, but I think she colors hers. I just got my license as well, and I must say I look like a she hag. If the pooolice stop me, I'll get arrested as a blight on the community. I don't think those are copyrighted, as they don't say so. Else you would not be able to copy them. Anyhooos, all of my articles are copyrighted but I see them everywhere........I need payment for that. Likely? Not!!!!!!

Bets lets just tell the truth, those are my abs, and you could get in trouble trying to hijack them!!!!!!!!!

Bets lets just tell the truth, those are my abs, and you could get in trouble trying to hijack them!!!!!!!!!

 

Sorry, BG. I thought since we have the same initials, I would be safe. :oops:

Man!! am I glad it wasn't my boobs I mentioned,  we'd all be ''On the ban'' for the pics that would have been posted  Thanks for the laugh girls,  You  all got the job :laugh: I am reporting yet another thing I noticed today, the skin on my legs was tight dry and scaly and the lower half was unreal. It looked like lizard skin and was grey, huge flakes of skin dropping off, and so painfully tight I was worried it would rip open at any time, I really can't stress enough how bad it was. Now its a lot smoother not as dry and feels and looks a lot healthier, its slightly dry but very, very ''normal'' dry considering I'm not very mobile, unable to shower( I don't have a bath worse luck  ) and living in my pyjamas for the last six months and housebound. 

 

And before that I was living in loose joggers/sweat pants as can't bear clothes on my skin or my skin on my skin for that matter.   So they haven't been in the best environment skin wise . I would say the improvement on the skin on my legs, texture 100% feels silky to rub my hands on it, it was like tight dry rough scaly leather and so dry my hands were unable to smooth against it, they stopped where they started as they couldn't slide, appearance 100%.  Rest of skin, also improving texture wise and dryness except for face, and neck which were actually the first places the problems began My face then my neck so it must be first in last out as usual huh?

 

I still have spots, lesions appear and go, rashes, lumps coming and going, bruising and patches of discolouration but the small changes look miraculous compared to what they were. And they were sudden, or I'm in so much pain and have a lot worse and bizarre stuff going on I never noticed, but I don't think so as I first noticed it when I tried to rub a painful place on my leg anyway. And it was just a week ago I was wondering what the hell I can use before it rips open so yes, it was sudden not so gradual it escaped my notice as it happened.

 

Now if only all the agonising stuff would at least ease up a little the skin I could have lived with a lot longer, but its all proof just because I don't like the order its going in I am healing, I am grateful, I just want a break from the painful stuff physically and a bit of mental rest too. I am glad but unable to feel the expression/emotion of gladness, but I can feel empathy and compassion 100% for others. Its just an inability to feel as pleased or pride in myself as I do for others because of what withdrawal is doing to me and none of us can control it and its pointless to even try. At the end of the day its just another symptom that needs to arise and heal.

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

Go Nova!!!!!!

Nova,

 

Glad your skin is improving. I would have like a before/after shot of that dry flaky skin! 

 

I too, have an improvement with a scaly patch of skin that was in and over my right eyebrow. Was there for months. So bizarre. But no more scaly patch.

 

Early in my taper I once said that I was fortunate to have great skin. Someone posted back, "just wait". I thought that was rather snarky and let it go, but they were right, my fabulous genetically predisposed great skin went south. And now it's going north again, at least on the surface.

 

What's lack though, is collagen. I hate this chicken wing flab on arms and legs. Is it cortisol that's messing that up, or something else. Would I be able to do anything if I knew?

 

Bennie

Nova,

 

Glad your skin is improving. I would have like a before/after shot of that dry flaky skin!

 

I too, have an improvement with a scaly patch of skin that was in and over my right eyebrow. Was there for months. So bizarre. But no more scaly patch.

 

Early in my taper I once said that I was fortunate to have great skin. Someone posted back, "just wait". I thought that was rather snarky and let it go, but they were right, my fabulous genetically predisposed great skin went south. And now it's going north again, at least on the surface.

 

What's lack though, is collagen. I hate this chicken wing flab on arms and legs. Is it cortisol that's messing that up, or something else. Would I be able to do anything if I knew?

 

Bennie

 

 

Hi Bennie  Your wish is my command  The skin on my feet is still scaly and dry my legs were exactly the same, so I took a pic of my  lower leg and foot so you then have the ''Before'' and ''After'' you wanted 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

BEFORE

http://i1200.photobucket.com/albums/bb327/CelestialZzann/DSC_2075_zpsupdzw3ln.jpg

 

AFTER

http://i1200.photobucket.com/albums/bb327/CelestialZzann/DSC_2094_zpsqhamjy06.jpg

Wow, Nova, would never know that your leg looked that way too, skin looks so smooth and healthy.The only thing so far I have noticed with my

 

skin, is that I look sort of grey, even with good creams on my face, just washed out, but not many wrinkles thank goodness. I love this thread.

 

PS My 'Bingo wings'' that's what we call the Chicken wings you refer to were tragic  :D   My upper arms looked a 1000 year's old now their fabulous darling!!! My breasts went west too but now their ''new and improved fun bags   They look better than they ever did, my cup runner over and fills out nicely I took naked pics of my whole body in tolerance withdrawal so I could note any improvement although I doubted it. As it had been terrible for year's in then unknown  tolerance withdrawal  but I'm not posting them on here ... but you can see them on ''porn hub'' for free!!!! :laugh: Joking!

 

I now got ''The Benzo belly collection'' , I was so thin before my stomach was touching my spine now its seriously the opposite  I have been seriously under and over weight lots of times in tolerance, went to  normal weight at beginning of taper(133ilbs) went up to 173lbs 3 weeks into taper, and still there for now. But who cares about the weight when there is worse going on than being beefy man!!! 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

Nova, all buddies here,

This is wonderful to read and so inspirational. I have very dry skin on my legs, I put cream on them E45 and it helps as I seem to scratch parts of my legs in the night and have a scaly skin there for months. All of my skin is really dry since I started coming off benzos. I also look older than I have in a long time but then I am getting older and at 57, I guess I look my age now where I never did before. I was always seen as younger than my age. I doubt the wrinkles I see around my eyes will reverse!! I don't mind. As long as I feel well, feel the healing that you talk about Nova during this taper, I am happy. :thumbsup: I am changing my old habits and forming better ones and I never believed in myself before but I am doing things to challenge myself and make me believe in self now because there is nobody or nothing else to turn to once I get off these Valium. I have been on them for 38 years, since 18 when I had anorexia. My problems just got worse after I started on Ativan. I got to 10 mg a day by 1992. I was never calm on them but they did mask phobias and allowed me to live and work and function the best I could as a mother. I was taken off them c/t in 1992 and had to go on Valium (30 mg) and I never realised what damage the benzo was doing over the years. I got depressed many times and why I did not question 3 AD's not working at the same time is beyond me now. I just believed in my doctor and thought it was me, I was undiagnosable I had so many anxiety based complaints LOL. It was only in 2014 when I needed another AD, a 4th one that I started to google Benzos and found Prof. Ashton. I realised that my CNS could not function, was shut down by the benzos so I was not able to make seratonin, melanonin, nothing was happening naturally anymore and of course I was in tolerance for years. I decided to start a taper myself and when I was at 28 mg, I told my doctor and was put under a psychiatrist and psychologist (my decision too). I have tapered using the Ashton method and now that I am down to lower amounts, I am holding a bit longer and this helps me get my life and self belief systems in place.   I am healing, I am able to think clearly, I can make better decisions, I go with my body and I am truly happy I am doing this. I would never have known how good it was to "feel" again and to be myself again had I not found the Ashton Manual and subsequently BBLand. I am grateful to buddies for the support and love I feel here.  I am off all AD's now except for one which I will keep until after my  V taper. This has been a journey of discovery and I know we are all healing here. I see it and hear it in posts and those Abs of Bets are mine actually. :smitten:

 

Much love all,

Moya XX

 

 

Holy guacamole, NOVA!

 

Whoo hoo, that's a nice calf 🐮. Thanks for the before and after photos. I swear you could get some mileage out of this by doing an infomercial for Benzo withdrawal!  . Underneath a squirrels layer of fur on my legs is good skin. Shaved last night to reveal them. But muscle ain't happening yet. My fun bags are snack bag sized.  I'm waiting for the padding to come back. And if they don't, oh well. Maybe it's age and gravity.

 

Moya,

I have been following your journey. And some journey it has been! There is no doubt healing takes place if one reads what you've been through. Mind, body and spirit are healing.

 

Begood,

No worries—the grey skin is temporary! 

 

Bennie

I just love this thread it is fun, and a squirrels layer of fur!!!!!!!!  

I just love this thread it is fun, and a squirrels layer of fur!!!!!!!!  

 

Could have called animal control if I hadn't cleared the filter in drain. 

                                                                         

Holy guacamole, NOVA!

 

Whoo hoo, that's a nice calf 🐮. Thanks for the before and after photos. I swear you could get some mileage out of this by doing an infomercial for Benzo withdrawal!  . Underneath a squirrels layer of fur on my legs is good skin. Shaved last night to reveal them. But muscle ain't happening yet. My fun bags are snack bag sized.  I'm waiting for the padding to come back. And if they don't, oh well. Maybe it's age and gravity.

 

Moya,

I have been following your journey. And some journey it has been! There is no doubt healing takes place if one reads what you've been through. Mind, body and spirit are healing.

 

Begood,

No worries—the grey skin is temporary! 

 

Bennie

 

 

Bennie  my boobs were that bad my now  ex ( thanks to then unknown  Benzo tolerance withdrawal) kept saying ''Where they gone? Its like being in bed with a bloke'' with a disturbed look on his face . All my body fat disappeared and the muscle wasted away all over my body even my my butt which  won ''The best arse in the pub'' in my local.  And best overall in the area I lived in  when I was younger, the blokes were having a sly ''best butt'' competition and none of the women knew until the ''winners'' were publicly announced. The cheek! no pun intended My my butt has recovered a bit too well for now  mind being immobile is the curse of the lower arses 

 

Arms, legs, have recovered my face is no where near recovered, my neck is like a plucked turkey, and I hated looking at myself when I was wasted away, I actually wished I was fat ( Wish granted be careful what you wish for girls ) as it's easier to loose fat than recover lost body fat and muscle. It will all sort its self out in time, no matter what we do know withdrawal/healing/recovery is the driver and we are the passengers just for now, all my bodily changes have occurred eating the same diet, and its a good diet.

 

So diet has no effect on weight in withdrawal unless your eating way too much bad stuff or not able to eat properly.  And even then, I wouldn't swear bad diet would have any effect weight wise right now, but its just sensible to eat the best food your able to for your health in general irregardless of weight 

 

I'm hungry all the time but I eat a lot of fruit, veg, salad, and I love Kasha which is toasted buckwheat. And I've gotten quite addicted to the raw milk I drink so the body is looking for something it needs, green veggies are another thing I'm stating to get cravings for. And the odd rare craving for a nice cold Organic beer but that's not going to happen no sir!!! 3mls of Vodka in 200mls of water when I tried dissolving a pill in it did terrible stuff to me, and it scared me off drinking  ever!!! :D So I taper as I have done all along as milk made me erguh!! in plain spring water.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, and Bennie sorry to interject here, but I just wanted you to know, Nova, winning the best butt, has been on my bucket list for all my life, I did

 

win once for flattest butt, oh well, when I can see behind at my hinny it looks like it may be firming up, Nova, you may have some competition brewing.

 

Honestly I love this thread, not only because I believe it, but I have found when I need a good laugh I reread the posts and I really do think that

 

laughter is the best medicine, anything but benzo's, the ability to laugh again is a Godsend to me. Thanks girls for the good natured banter.

 

 

Healing as we taper, is indeed happening, for those who believe, I feel completely different as I go down, and I would be remiss if I did not embrace

the fact that I am healing slowly maybe, but indeed healing. I believe that our bodies heal, but also our mindset does too, the way we think is very

important also. 

What's wrong with me? I have never aspired for the title, Best Butt of the County. Must be a lifelong low GABA issue.  Best apple pie at county fair—more my thing.

 

So it's 9+ weeks out and I got my first night sleep without adrenalin surge. That says something, right? I woke nonetheless, but did not feel like I was plugged into the power grid.

 

Hope everyone is finding one thing that is getting consistently better that points to healing.

Bennie

 

Bennie, that is great to see progress, you certainly deserve it, we take two steps forward, and some

 

times 4 steps back, but as long as the steps  keep going forward is wonderful, so pleased for

 

you. You have been very kind to me here at BB and I will never forget that. 

Bennie, that is great to see progress, you certainly deserve it, we take two steps forward, and some

 

times 4 steps back, but as long as the steps  keep going forward is wonderful, so pleased for

 

you. You have been very kind to me here at BB and I will never forget that.