My struggle with recovery from Benzos

Hello. My name is Ryan and I have been on Benzos consecutively for 3 years. I was first prescribed them after debilitating vertigo that came out of nowhere. Later to be discussed with my doctor, this was a case of PTSD of being arrested in the UAE for an incident that involved smoking spice (synthetic marijuanna). I went through senior year of high school using the prescribed amount (when needed) to take away the dizziness and allow me to read properly and even, believe it or not, understand class lessons more easily. As expected I enjoyed the relief they gave me, and started to abuse my rivotril. I then went off to college in the US, where I am from, and got a new psychiatrist who prescribed me the dosage I had eventually been taking. Soon enough I was running out of my meds in a matter of 2 weeks or so, and began my hellish journey to buying Xanax off the street. Long story short, I became addicted to high amounts of Xanax, and came back to the UAE, where my parents live and decided I needed to stay here to get well. I went back to my original doctor and switched over back to rivotril, and I have gone down from 3-4mg to 2mg rivotril in a little over a month and am suffering daily with withdrawals. I am here for help, advice, and support.

Hello Ryan    Welcome to BenzoBuddies!. 

 

You have come to the right place for help, advice and support.  I am sorry about your harrowing experience being arrested in the UAE, must have been very scary. 

 

Sounds like you are tapering too fast!  The best way to minimize withdrawal symptoms is a slow careful taper. The rule of thumb is to taper between 5-10% every 10-14 days. 

 

You might want to familiarize yourself with the Ashton Manual. It is a great resource for information about these medications and how to withdraw.

 

We have a great community, our members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, and will share their experiences with you.

 

I'll leave you a few links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

 

Withdrawal Support

 

General Taper Plans

 

If you would be so kind as to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice this link will show you how to ”Create a signature”

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

I am quite familiar with the Ashton tapering method after quite some research. Does anyone recommend I do the switch over to diazepam, as that is what the Ashton method involves? Is this possible to do with just Rivotril, or will that make the withdrawals much more unbearable?

 

Thanks

Hi,

 

I tapered from klonopin directly. I tried a valium crossover but the feel of valium was so different, it just complicated things. I was on 1mg for 10 years...

 

I worked with a compounding pharmacy to drop in .05 mg increments every 2 weeks. That is 5% for me. It was not easy, but I did it step by step, each dose was like a little victory and I toughed it out.

 

I won't tell you it was easy - it was terrifying at times, I did feel I was about to lose it. I did got to group psychotherapy and learn CBT which really helped. So did practicing mindfulness/Buddhism radical acceptance type stuff. Because as you know, this drug can cause the most terrible withdrawals and a return of not only the original problem, but new stuff as well.

 

Here's the thing: You Can Do It.

 

And you will be a healthier, stronger, more in-tune and alive person than before. While I would not recommend benzo withdrawal to anybody, I will say that to those who have survived - every day of life without the hell of withdrawal, every night of good sleep, every day of clear cognition, is an incredible gift. So the process is an invitation to move towards depth in all aspects of life.

 

I had to become both a fighter and an acceptor of things at the same time. Its not an easy balance to learn to accept things that feel crappy (and I mean REALLY crappy) and accept that you don't know when or even if you will get better. While I can tell you that in time you WILL get better, benzo withdrawal tricks you into thinking it is forever. Because this is a marathon for most people, not a sprint. For me, thinking like a sprinter got me in trouble.

 

Hope this helps, please reach out to people, stay engages, it does improve... Best to you,

 

M