Author Topic: Long term benzo user, now free for over a year and doing well!!! You can too!!!  (Read 7933 times)

[Buddie]

I was prescribed and taking multiple dosages of Klonopin and Ambien for ten years, and I had stayed on them for the last two of those years because I was terrified of the withdrawal. I didn't have enough money for a proper doctor to taper me off the right way, so I went with what I thought was my next safest option: going to a rehab with a medical team and doctor on site. I do not recommend rehab for this type of withdrawal ever, if you can help it. But, if you don't have any other options, it is safer than going through the withdrawal at home.

Plus sides of going through the beginning stages of withdrawal in a rehab facility: There was a medical team there, so any time I had a horrific withdrawal symptom during that first month, someone was right there to make sure I wasn't dying, which was one of my biggest fears both before and during the withdrawal.

Cons of going through the withdrawal in a rehab facility: Nobody understood that I was in excruciating pain and hallucinating, because the staff are very under educated about benzo withdrawal. I was treated like an addict. I was yelled at and called a scumbag. When i told them I was prescribed my medicine, they asked me if I had ever had more than three drinks and enjoyed myself, and I said yes. Then, they called me and addict and tried to brainwash me and corrode my ego. No one there knew what I was going through at all. Whenever I spoke up about any of the horrifying things I was experiencing, I was told that I was going through cravings and that it all was just a part of my horrible disease. They thought that I was just over dramatizing my symptoms to try and get more phenobarbital. It was terribly infuriating. The days I needed to rest in bed, they told me that I could not, and I was forced to sit in the ongoing and daily AA/NA meetings while in my withdrawal agony.
I was taken off of ten years of benzos in one week, and I was flung into a nightmarish series of symptoms from abrupt withdrawal.

After I left the rehab, I was still going through the loops, but every here and there I would have a day where I felt a little more clear. Those days were the signs of my brain healing itself, and really all that kept me going.

The withdrawal was a living nightmare. i couldn't eat or sleep. I had powerful hallucinations and dreams and the overwhelming feelings of impending death. i was lucky to have never had a seizure while there, or at all through the process. I wanted to die. I felt like I was dying. I was so [...], and I swore up and down that I'd never get better, and that I would be stuck like that forever.

I used to get on Benzo Buddies when i came home from rehab, and I used to cry when I read the success stories, because I was certain that I destroyed my life and my brain. I was certain that I wouldn't be able to pull through, and that I'd end up some sort of vegetable. I was so scared, and alone and sad. No one knew what I was experiencing, and it was like I was speaking a different language whenever I tried to speak about it to anyone.

I continued to suffer for months after I returned home, and during that time, I really found out who my true friends were, and I stopped smoking. I also stopped eating gluten and excessive sugars, which helped immensely in the process.

It is now 1 year and seven months since I've been home and off of Klonopin, and I would say I'm 90 percent better :) I am fully functional, and am living a better and more fulfilling life than I had ever before. I am a better person after the withdrawal. i changed my life in ways to help aid during my struggles, and I have kept up with those habits.

I am writing to you, dear reader, because I want you to know that I've been there. That I understand and acknowledge the pain and the suffering incorporated with this horrible withdrawal and medicine. I understand and acknowledge the pain and suffering YOU are going through.

 Yes, it's going to be terrible for a little bit, but you CAN do it and you WILL be able to live a normal life again. The pain and horror are only temporary, and you will make it to the light again. Just hang in there. Just keep on going. An entire new world waits for you, and you will no longer be physically dependent on a pill.

I was prescribed this medication for panic attacks associated with PTSD, and I am now learning how to treat my anxiety in a different way. You don't need this [...] medicine to rule your life. You don't deserve to suffer for a doctor's paycheck. (they get paid extra for prescribing these medicines)

You can make it !!! I write today, so then you might have hope for a better tomorrow. Take it one day at a time, and stay strong.

Take care, and all the love in the world, fellow venturers. Rest your weary head to rest and know that there is peace.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thanks for that very well written and powerful success story.
I am sure many people shall find it as inspiring as I do. Walking through month nine here and determined to get better and write a success story too.
Well done [...]. :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank You [...]. As a fellow long-term user, your story really hits home. Before I found BB's I was detoxed in a similar fashion as you were. I was misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and disrespected, in my most vulnerable moment and at the weakest point in my life. I feel your pain. Your story gives me the extra push to finish this long drawn out affair.

So happy to see a success story from a fellow long term user...Thank You.
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Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for the inspiring success story! It is reassuring to read of healing after extreme illness. Thank you for taking the time to remind us that this is a temporary state.
Blessings to you as you find your new full life.

Warmly,

[...] :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

I'm so glad you're doing well. Thank you for this story gives me some hope.😊
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for your powerful story and congratulations on living drug free.

Your story came at the right time as no one had posted one for a while.

I am just over 4.5 months off and getting better slowly. I am hoping to post here soon as am a short term user.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

You'll do it! hang in there!!! Fuel your mind and body with good things.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Hi [...],

What a horrible experience in detox! Before, I could only imagine what went on in the facilities but, now, with your vivid descriptions, I just don't have words. It is truly despicable to treat people the way they do...it reminds me of the horror stories from the insane asylums...UNBELIEVEABLE! I don't believe true addicts should be treated that way, let alone accidental addicts. I had several psychology classes in college and upon reading the textbooks, cover to cover, realized, they were indoctrinating the students. I was so disappointed, I removed myself from the degree program. Since they've let regular doctors prescribe psych meds, the entire medical community has become corrupt. Whatever happened to the Hippocratic Oath? I'm so sad for anyone that needs help from them...

But, I'm so happy for you! This website is proof the corruption can't get to everyone.  :)

Have a wonderfully happy, healthy life! Hugs to you...
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...]-wonderful that you have your life back and it sounds like it is better than ever.  I am a bit behind you and can feel some things improving but you know how it is.  The things I have left are crappy as hell.  Go live your life sir!!! :thumbsup: 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for the inspiring success story! I am 5 weeks off and still hopeful  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.