Hope...8 months benzo free and counting!

i am still sort of new to this site. ive only been here about a week or so. ive written my story in the welcome threads but someone asked me to write a success story because that is what helps them through there recovery and i decided she was right. i did nothing but search search search for success stories. i just wanted to know will i ever be better? i got my answer. i had to live it myself.

 

(Note:  Here is eyewonder's inital post with more details:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=14006.msg201726#msg201726)

 

i am now 8 months benzo free. i cannot believe it. when i first got on this site and they asked me how long and i counted, i was blown away myself. wow 8 months w/o having to stick that little pill in my mouth every 4 hrs.

i never thought it possible. i thought i'd be on that stuff for the rest of my life.

 

it was a very long road. as i see w/  all of you it is. getting off xanax was the best decision i ever made. when i decided to do it it was of those well nothing else seems to have worked lets try this. to my amazement it did work. it was the answer....to get off benzos. WHO WOULD OF KNOWN?

you can go back to the welcome thread and read my story. almost 2 years i took xanax with my anxiety and depression spiraling out of control on it.

i read all your stories and wish i could just hold your hand and tell you it will all pass. it doesnt seem like it. it feels like your in the worst hell you could possibly imagine. even though i went through detox and not tapering i still had all the same symptoms you guys have while tapering. except i was left to deal with them all at once...BAM no xanax for you...DEAL WITH IT!!!

 

It was the HARDEST thing i ever did in my life. Child birth was not as bad. i'd have 100 children before i ever detoxed from xanax again!!

as soon as i got off xanax i got on paxil 20mg and i take 40-50mg of seroquel for sleep at night. i dont worry about it. its the last thing i worry about having to take antidepressants. i know i wont take them forever and my next step is to taper off the seroquel. ill leave the paxil for now. i do believe it is what helped to repair my gaba. can you guys imagine my gaba? after detox? oh dear

 

but you know what you guys? i feel so good!! i am the sucess story you want to read! i am so happy! i have NO ANXIETY! NONE! i never ever thought id say that and i know some of you may read this and think god will that ever be me? how can i ever not have anxiety. i thought the same thing. i thought never ever will it ever be me. YES IT CAN! IT WILL BE  YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Everyone asks me on this site if im healed. im not always sure what to say about that. im defintely not the same as i was when i was taking xanax. but im not sure what fully healed means. i dont have any more side effects from the w/d. i actually have no symptoms at all. but i had everything you guys talk about. and it was so hard to explain to ppl. sometimes you feel like you were almost making it up as you went along.

 

im not going anywhere. i will be on this site for the rest of my life helping those who are suffering from benzo w/d and the healing. it is my lifes goal to get this drug off the medical market. i am here for anyone at anytime if you need me. msg me or chat w/ me anytime you want to tallk.

One moment at a time. thats what i had to do. not days, not minutes...moments....seconds i had to take it. IT WILL PASS! LIFE IS TO BE LIVED!!!!

Congratulations! And thanks so much for writing this down.  Folks really need to hear from someone who is symptom free!  Thanks for being here!!

 

hawk

Thanks so much for taking the time to post your story, eyewonder.    It's always great to find out how well someone is feeling on the other side of this mess.

 

I'm sure glad to hear you will be staying around to encourage others.  Usually, people who feel as good as you do just get on with their lives and we seldome hear from them. 

Thank you!  I'm pretty new here myself & just tapered off Klonopin a little over a week ago.  I decided I needed to read a success story today as the brain fog and memory impairment are weighing me down.  Glad to be reminded that there is an end in sight!!

i used to say if i could just help one person get off benzos i'd be so happy 

if i could just help one person to ease their suffering during benzo w/d and healing id be happy. 

if i could just share my story and let ppl know they are not alone id be so happy 

 

so you can all imagine how HAPPY i feel right now!!!!

 

                                   

i used to say if i could just help one person get off benzos i'd be so happy 

if i could just help one person to ease their suffering during benzo w/d and healing id be happy. 

if i could just share my story and let ppl know they are not alone id be so happy 

 

so you can all imagine how HAPPY i feel right now!!!!

 

                                   

 

I'm so happy for you, eyewonder!!  We love to hear these stories!! 

What an uplifting account of your experience. Well done !!

 

All power to you

 

Collog

Eyewonder,

 

That is just the story that many of us that are in the initial stages of titration/tapering need to here.  I hope you stick around and continue to help those of us that are still trying to get off of the benzos.  That had to take alot of courage to detox of the xanax.  I read that you had several of the w/d symptoms talked about in the forum.  How long did it take for these to end?  I think that is the scariest part.....with things not being linear....it seems like a never ending journey for many.

 

Thanks again for your story.

 

Tim

Thanks you eyewonder,

 

You are an inspiration. Thanks for not leaving us even though you are well now.

 

Tanya

xoxo

Eyewonder,

 

That is just the story that many of us that are in the initial stages of titration/tapering need to here.  I hope you stick around and continue to help those of us that are still trying to get off of the benzos.  That had to take alot of courage to detox of the xanax.  I read that you had several of the w/d symptoms talked about in the forum.  How long did it take for these to end?  I think that is the scariest part.....with things not being linear....it seems like a never ending journey for many.

 

Thanks again for your story.

 

Tim

 

right. it is the scarest part. not knowing when i'd feel better. well this is how it went for me. after detox my body was really weird. it would shake and my head was spinning so bad  with anxiety. it would not stop. about 1 week after detox, and i was in detox for almost 2 weeks, i had to do something. i was not right. i couldnt relax at all and i didnt sleep. so about 1 week after detox i got on an antidepressant. all of my symptoms started to subside right away within the first week. my depression went away with in a week and my anxiety took alittle over a month to go away. i had the really bad thoughts and everything was really really depressing and i was not normal at all. after a month i noticed my anxiety had almost gone away completly. the body twiches took alittle over a month to go away after detox. i swear to you i thought it would never end. i thought i was going to have to actually live like that. i never thought id be "normal" again. i didnt. i seriously did not. and if you ask any of my friends and family how i was a year ago today when i was on xanax, they'd tell you i was a completly different person now. or that i was back.

  ty all for your replys. 

THANK YOU!!! YOUR POST BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.

To be able to say "I am anxiety-free' is a dream come true.

Congratulations. You are an inspiration!!

steph

I'm still here all!!! and guess what??? still benzo free!!! i feel great! never better! life isn't perfect but what is!

i make it through everyday w/o a thought to taking a stupid ugly disgusting horrible xanax pill and i love it!! woot woot!! 

 

oct 29 2009 will be 1 year benzo free!

 

i'm still out there on the internet...trying to get benzo users to take a walk on our side see if maybe that'll fix the "problem" 

ive reached out to a few and just to be able to help someone who wants off feels great to me....i feel bad i wish i could hold you

ppl that are hurting so much. sometimes theres nothing you can do but talk to them and wish they would be better and hope that they

just hold on so they can see how much better it is on the other side. 

 

 

Long time no see EW!

 

Thanks for posting. I'm so happy to hear you are well! 

 

Linda 

Hi eyewonder,

 

So glad you stopped in to let us know you're still going strong!!  Come back on the 29th, lets celebrate you being benzo free for a year!!!

 

Pam

Hi eyewonder,

 

I'm so glad to se your doing well 

 

love lynn xx 

Thanks so much for your success story.  It gives us all hope. My last day of Xanax will be this Friday.  I'm feeling better already.  I had a lot of w/d symptoms before and during my 14 month taper.  It's such a blessing to know that you're doing so well. 

 

Peace,

Lyd