Preperation and fear

I have been on Benzos for 8 years.  It started with a visit to my gp who gave me a small amount of Xanax.  It helped.  I felt better... for just a little while.

 

Fastforward to today.  I am on 4 mg of Klonopin a day.  I have lost my sense of self, my connection to others and my job.

 

I feel like I am experi2ncing withdrawal on a daily basis even though I take all 4 mg each day (broken up over three times).

 

I was on just 2 mg of Klonopin for a long time.  Then when my doctor decided I had reached a tolerence, she cut back by 1/4 mg, with the idea to do that every few weeks.  There were no more cuts in dosage. 

 

I did something dumb.  I started drinking to make up the defecit.  Within a year, I had a drinking problem so I went to rehab and got rid of the drink for good.  They also took me off Klonopin abrumptly.  After 15 days of rehab, I thought I was loosing it so I left, but haven't drank in over a year.

 

When I got back to my sober life, I could not fuction so a new doctor started me back on Klonopin.  It worked great... for a little while.  I started at 2 mg, then she bumped me up to three a couple months later and then 4 mg.  I cant keep going up and it isnt helping anymore.

I

I feel so stuck and hopeless.  I lost my job, cant leave the house, cant eat.

 

I feel like this drug is killing me.

 

I can't see how I will ever get off this drug and out of this hellish existence.

 

I am trying to gather the tools and courage to get off 4 mg klonopin per day.  I want me back.

Hello Reachin   Welcome to BenzoBuddies!. 

 

I am sorry you went through a cold turkey, must have been awful for you.  Benzodiazepines should be tapered off slowly.  You are experiencing some classic withdrawal symptoms, I was like you, I reached tolerance level, I had withdrawal symptoms while still taking the drug. You will get your life back, It does get better.

 

Well done being alcohol free!  I know its tough right now but you’re going to be okay.  We have a great community here,  our caring members will help support you all they can. They have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, and will share their experiences with you. 

 

The best way of getting off benzodiazepines is to taper off slowly.  If you have used them for a couple of months or more then the suggested taper rate is 5/10% every 10/14 days. It’s important to listen to your body when tapering, you can adjust the rate if need be.

 

You may want to familiarize yourself with the Ashton Manual. It is a great resource for information about these medications and how to withdraw. Here is a link to the manual: : Professor Ashtons Manual  .

 

For tapering advice General Taper Plans   

 

For support with any symptoms you may have post here: Withdrawal Support

 

If you would please be so kind as to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  This link will show you how to do this Create a signature

 

If you have any questions let us know.

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

Hi Reachin,

So sorry to hear about your experience, your suffering. Please don't be

hopeless.....its time to be smart now, work out a sensible taper plan,

get off this crap for good . Once your withdrawl (wd) is over.....your health

is back.....you'll be able to make a new start in life.

Happens to a lot of people.....

 

I would join the Klonopin club.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=57791.0

 

Here is an explaination how Benzos affect the brain, will make it easier

for you to understand whats going on.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

 

Some people say alcohol is a Benzo in liquid form....I tend to agree

from what I've seen here.

 

Good to have you with us,

and all the best.

Claudia.

Thanks for the warm welcome and words of encouragement.  I have read alot recently about Professor Ashton and went, OH... OH...

It helped lead me here.  I am a little concerned about figuring out a taper routine and actually being able to keep it all straight.  Having a hard time with things like cooking an egg, so when I start reading about making liquid doses and all that, I wonder if I will be capable of doing the math and performing the details of preparing tirations, etc.

 

But Im sure as I read more, I will find tips on all those details.

 

Again,

Thanks for the welcome. 

You are welcome Reachin, you will make it ....I'm sure.

 

Just one more tip....knowledge is ever so important in order to succeed,

will make it much easier. Chewing the fat section has a lot of good stuff....

 

Right at the beginning on top of the section, without the knowledge I have gained....

I would have been lost on many occasions. all the best...

hi, read your story and you have fought one battle with the bottle, and that is a big one, you can do this too. you think you have lost all HOPE, but i think you have more than you know, just reaching out like you have tells me that you want to get off of the benzo train. yes w/d are really hard, but it does take alot of time for our brains to heal, if you can have a baby goal each day to do something for yourself, and when you reach it give yourself a pat on the back. not having a job is hard i know, been there, and thought i would never find another, but i did, and so will you. the one thing about this site is that we are all in this together, different stories, and different stages, but as we all fight each and every hour, you will too. you will find the right titer plan and read all you can, i know you said you don't want to get out of the house, but go outside and just look at the blue sky and everything all around you, because you are not alone in your struggles, and life is beautiful, i know that sometime in the future you will be on both two feet, you can do this and i know you are stronger than you give yourself credit. only the best on your battle with benzo's know that this battle can be fought and won. but we do have to go through some tough times, and everything i read, and my own journel this time, it does get better.

Begood,

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement... they really mean alot.  I'm on day two of a sloooow taper.  I have a really hard time with doing things like this slowly but it really seems to be most important to go slow.  Giving up the booze was a cakewalk compared to this but with the knowledge that so many people are struggling with this and actually succeeding sure does put my troubled mind at ease.

 

All the best to you!  Thanks again.