Hi, Need some help with terrible anxiety

Today i'm 155 days valium free. Took my last dose Feb 24. Was on Valum for 15 years. The years really flew by. I never had any problems on the drug, never abused it, was prescribed 30mg a day but did good on 15mg. I got off because my doctor moved to another state. Getting off valium was just horrible as you all know I'm sure.

 

I should mention I have a lot more problems than valium. Was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis in 2000, that's when he put me on valium. He said I wouldn't breathe any better on it but I wouldn't care. Turns out I am a survivor from the PF, my oxygen levels during the day have stayed above 91% then I had a heart attack in 2011 and got a heart stent. That brought my oxygen level up to 93-94% during the day. It tanks at night when I sleep to the high 70s so they put me on night oxygen, 2 liters, which keeps me above 94%. In 2002 I had a motorcycle wreck and broke all my ribs on my R side in several places, several non union and displaced, a displaced scapula with 1/3 of it broken off and collarbone non union that will never heal and fractured pelvis. I had more road rash than good spots.  They should have done surgery but with the PF and the injuries were so bad they didn't. Also had a closed head injury.

 

I had to mention the above to say that after 5 months off valium I am having terrible uncontrolled anxiety. This new Doctor put me on gabapentin 30 days after my last dose of valium. He wanted me to take 300mg x 3 a day. I just can't, it has made me feel so sick to my stomach I have been dumping 1/2 of the capsule out and taking 1/2 of it every night for the past 4 months. It has helped me get 7 hours of sleep at night. Without it I get an hour, still. Either the valium or the gabapentin is giving me some really messed up thoughts, like I would be better off dead, it's no longer worth it. I have lost my peace and my joy. I am unfeeling, uncaring and can't even find a reason to smile. I can't sleep on my back or either side from injuries, was always a side sleeper. I can't bring myself to go to a doctor any more. They have done nothing but hurt me in more ways than I have mentioned and it's such a long story I'll spare you all the details.

 

my questions are, could the Gabapentin be making me feel like this, not caring about anything and just sitting like a lump, waiting for the grim reaper to show up? I feel like I have at least another 5 years in me, but they won't be worth sh!t like this. I'm not crying over the PF, most everybody else with this disease died way before this. Is there another antidepressant that's not a benzo that I could take that would make me feel again and not have terrible side effects like gabbapentin? I feel like I am losing it. This can't be the Valium after 5 months can it?

 

i know I should ask a Doctor but I am going to have to go to a new one and just don't want to. I want to know my options before I see a new Doc. I was offered Paxil when they took me off Valium and refused it. I hope I am making sense and will be waiting to hear from someone with experience with gabapentin and antidepressants. I really need advice right now.

 

Thanks, Barry

Well Barry, I'm really sorry to hear that your issues didn't end with the bike accident. I had a 'migraine-related stroke' in 2006 with some vision loss, but things got worse when they put me on 2 different benzos and Gabapentin. Well actually, Depakote, then Tegretol, then Lamictal, the Gabapentin. They all have side effects.  Now I'm just on Cymbalta, 30mg. a day, which is a half dose. That plus walking, swimming, yoga and some weight work. After the benzo disaster, I sought out a neurologists advice to taper off the Gabapentin. He didn't want to be involved, but did send my PCP a paper of how he would taper me. He also looked over my entire post-stroke medical file, and said that he saw NO reason I even needed anticonvulsants (like Gabapentin). The Cymbalta in an anti-depressant, it keeps the depression at bay, for now. As I increase my activity I plan to end the antidepressant completely, maybe by fall.

Why did they put you on Gabapentin?

peace, stasia

Wow Stasia, Sounds like we had the same doctors practicing on us. You've been through it too. Glad to hear you finally got your meds straightened out. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. So, how did the neurologist have your PC Doc taper you? I'm happy to hear you didn't have any problem getting off neurontin. Did you have trouble sleeping after neurontin/Gabapentin or did the Cymbalta take care of it? What kind of side effects are you having? Did the benzo's with the Gabapentin give you messed up thoughts? Sounds like quite a combination. I sure hope your a lot better now, does Cymbalta help the migraines?  What I don't understand is why PC Doctors prescribe all these psych meds?

 

He put me on gabapentin because I went to him the first time during my v taper and then about 3 weeks after my taper. I was in bad shape from w/d's. He didn't know me and thought I was just crazy. He said I was talking fast and that meant I had "mania". I'm semi nuts I'm sure, but that guy has a crazy eye and come to find out he's 82 years old and I think needs a Doctor. I have nothing against someone 82, just him faking everybody out. It's amazing what some shoe black can do. To look at him you would say he was around 60. Funny thing he's only been a Doctor 18 years. I guess he didn't think being fresh off 15 years of valium should do anything much to ya! He said Gabapentin would help me sleep and calm me down.

 

I also had a mild stroke in 2009. My face was drooping for about a year or so, maybe still very slight. My entire L side is kind of numb. Don't know if that's from the stroke or if it's neuropathy from the bike wreck. You wouldn't think going over the handlebars at 30 would do much. 

 

Thanks again!!

Some doctors give meds for many off-label uses. Well, my PCP (primary care physician) was afraid of taking me off Gabapentin, but once he saw the taper schedule the specialist made, he did follow it with me, and everything went fine, that is, I didn't notice any withdrawal symptoms. But then I don't always make those connections.

Of course after the benzos I had a terrible time sleeping and staying asleep for over two years. Have you tried researching into Melatonin? I'll still take one now and then and it's natural with no side effects.

I also have a small numb spot on my back, pretty sure it's from my stroke, and it seems to come and go.

You might try facial yoga exercises for the drooping, it sounds a little bit 'out there' but yoga is a practice I looked into and chose post-benzo. Regular exercise was too stimulating for a long time. Yoga with it's focus on breathing and holding poses, has brought me some happiness.

I gotta tell you, all those anti-convulsants over the years weakened my bones. Seriously, after my fourth broken bone I demanded a DEXA (bone density) scan. On the questionaire it asked if I was on an anti-convulsant like Depakote or Tegretol! I have osteo-porosis and osteo-penia now, it's been a year off Gabapentin, and I went to the gym and did weights, then took the DEXA test again, and it's getting better. So please watch out for that too.

~stasia

ps. I always read the paper that comes with the pills, and it does not mention bone poblems! My father managed to find it on the internet.

Maybe you could check out the Inositol thread under alternative treatments. I'm not sure if you could take it in conjunction with your other medication or not, but I am trying to take it in place of an SSRI and it actually, surprisingly, seems to help with anxiety and depression. Still messing around with a super low dose but it looks like others who take it in very high doses have great results with it. Might be worth checking out.

Hi Barry,

 

Suicidal ideation is definitely a side effect of gabapentin. The way that you described "waiting for the grim reaper to show up" is precisely why I had to discontinue it myself. The good news is that I didn't have any problem tapering it and the side effects cleared up pretty fast.

 

I've had great success with Remeron for sleep which I've used on and off throughout my benzo taper. Some people have a hard time with that as well, but it sure has made things a lot easier for me personally. It's something that you may want to talk to your prescriber about. Weight gain, dysphoria and carbohydrate craving are the side effects that some people report using it. I've experienced none of those things and I don't have any problems discontinuing it when I feel like I don't need it any more.

 

Lexapro also typically has a sedating effect, but I've personally stayed clear of it not wanting to add another drug that may or may not be helpful and is hard to discontinue for a big chunk of people.

 

I know these are hard choices and I certainly feel for you buddy, hang in there.