Benzo Free on Independence Day!!

Well it has been quite a ride and im not in the clear yet but the tapering journey is over!!

 

I took my last day dose on July 3, 2015.  So July 4th was my Independence Day in more ways than one this year. 

 

I have been taking benzos for 10 years.  It started off as hangover cure for me.  Then I found out how good it worked to cure my social anxiety.  Soon I was taking 2mg of Xanax a day.  I did this for about 2 years.  I finally went to a phyciatrist for anxiety and depression and he switched me to Klonopin (Clonazepam).  I was prescribed 2mg a day and this helped me for a long time, so I thought.  I have always thought that I was doomed with anxiety and the extra was caused by drinking. Although a lot of my problems i know were caused by my drinking and benzos combined, it wasn't until i quit drinking that i realized just how big a hold these benzos had on me.  I found AA and there I decided i could make it through life with no help of drinking or prescription drugs. I started researching quitting benzos and what i found scared the crap out of me.  I had no idea what i was in for.  I thought i could quit in 2 weeks feel bad for 2 more weeks and be done.  Like alot of people my Dr said I was on a small dose and it wouldn't hurt me long term.  It amazes me that doctors can still prescribe benzos to people so freely and not share the dangers with patients. When I tried to quit the first time...my real journey began.

 

I tried to taper the first time in the summer of 2014.  I didn't always take 2mg K.  At some point in my years of use I decided i was only going to take 3 a day so 1.5mg.  Then after i quit drinking i started only taking 2 a day so 1mg.  I dont remember feel bad WD from these cuts.  If i did I probably blamed it on something else because I had no idea.  So by the time I was ready to taper I was at 1mg K.  My first attempt I went from 1mg to 0 in about 2 weeks.  I lasted one day at 0 and almost had a nervous breakdown.  It was miserable.  I reinstated and didn’t get the nerve to try again for 6 months.  I was reading BB when I first tried to taper but didn’t work up the nerve to join then.

 

In February of 2015, I decided I was ready again.  I was reading BB but I don’t think I had joined yet when I started this taper.  Honestly what I read here just scared the crap out of me.  I was at a good place in my head I was feeling good and I was determined.  These next statements I do not advise you to follow in my footsteps.  I started by cutting from 1mg to .5mg, I cut my dose 50%.  It was terrible,  I had horrible anxiety, I sweated a lot, my eyes burned bad, my arms and legs felt like they were asleep and waking back up.  Some days I felt like I was in a tunnel.  It was very surreal.  This lasted for about 3 weeks.  I started to level out (I didn’t feel great, just better) so I decided to cut again.  This time I cut my dose in half again from .5mg to .25mg.  This was even worse than the first time.  My symptoms were the same as the first cut but worse!!!  Way worse!!!!!  I honestly don’t know how I made it through those 3 weeks.  I still went to work, still went to the gym, was able to be there for my family but it was not easy!!  I think forcing myself to act normal and do everything I normally do helped actually.  This cut took 3 more weeks to level out.  Again, I didn’t feel good just better.  I know I couldn’t handle another cut so I had to find another way.  This is when I read up on titration. 

 

Titration saved me.  This is basically liquefying your dose and then taking a tiny cut every day.  I cut .0025mg a day for just over 100 days.  I only held without making a cut twice because of symptoms.  If you want to know more about daily micro tapering, you can check out the link in my signature to the support group.  During the next 3 months it was up and down.  I had symptoms yes, anxiety, the tingling in my arms and legs, but this was not bad and manageable with my daily taper.  I could also tell it was getting less intense as my dose decreased.  This gave me much needed hope.  I also want to stress that it was very important for me to find other ways of dealing with my symptoms.  There are so many ways and methods out there that naturally reduce your anxiety, these are what worked best for me:

• Natural supplements (magnesium, theanine, kava, valerian, melatonin, night time hot teas)

• Physical exercise (gym for me)

• EFT tapping

• Breathing techniques

• Meditiation

• Prayer

• Helping Others!!

These all helped me through this and now I will have these things to help me deal with life without benzos.  I want to finish this by thanking Colin and the team for creating this forum.  There is no way I would have made it through this without BenzoBuddies.  It was there when nothing else helped.  I highly encourage you to spend your time here helping others, it will make you feel better and help you heal.  I started by welcoming people in the intro section because I had no idea how I could help someone else as messed up as I felt.  Then after learning titration, I started answering questions there.  Then I was on the taper plans thread.  And when I was actually helping people that got my fire burning and my determination to quit that much stronger.  I want to personally thank SG57 and builder for dedicating so much time to helping people with taper plans.  These 2 inspired me to help others and it has been very rewarding. 

 

I will wait a while before I do a success story but for now good luck to you all still in the thick of it.  There is hope and it can be done!

 

As I always say, STAY STRONG!!

sharkey

Thank you so much. I needed to read something positive tonight.  I am a short time user and some days I question myself if I will ever be able to free myself from this poison.  Wishing you the best. 

            http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk166/Challis2/giphy_zpsoon4fkjt.gif

 

What an inspiring story, sharkey… your upbeat personality has

been a shining light around here and your story reflects your

positive outlook.  This will serve you well in your recovery and

into the future.

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]Happy Benzo-Independence Day!![/glow]

 

All the best to you,

Challis 

 

 

Wonderful news Sharkey! thank you for sharing your courageous story. Best to you as you continue to recover.

 

Warmly ,

 

Carita

Well done, Sharkey.

You're an inspiration to many here on the forum and you've helped a lot of people.

Wishing you continuous healing and all the best!

Congratulations Sharkey!

You bring much needed hope to others behind you.

Congratulations and thank you!

 

Marija

Thank you for sharing.

This was so great to read, Sharky! You have done some amazing things so far: quitting drinking, quitting benzos. Those are no small victories. I know AA, says one day at a time and that is a great way to live. I'm excited to celebrate these with you. I have no doubt, that YOU will be one of those people I thank on my 'independence day'.

hugs

Shannon

Sharkey, Congratulations! Your microtaper plan is very nice! You are helping a lot of people! 

Thank you Sharkey for sharing your story.  It is very inspiring!  The thread you started for microtapering has been very helpful for me, so many there with lots of good knowledge as you said, SG, Builder and others.  I'm a little fearful as my dose gets lower, but the microtaper thread has given me hope that I can do it.  Thank you for all you have done for BB!!

 

Bunny

Great story--and I love how you are really trying to help others, that is the most inspirational part!

Thanks so much to all of you for the kind words and congratulations! 

 

Stay strong!

sharkey

Great story Shark! Looking forward to your success story...just keep on truckin'

 

tryin'

Just over a month out with ZERO benzos and feeling good.

 

I am feeling WAY better than I did during my taper.  I feel like the shroud is lifting.  I'm not out of the woods just yet but feel significantly better.

 

My symptoms during the first month:

 

Tightness in the chest (This has eased as the month goes by)

Morning Adrenal Surges (Physical Anxiety in the early morning, sometimes waking up at 3 -4AM)  I still get this but much less severe

Depressing Thoughts/Depression  (Not Very Often)

Weird Tickling Sensation (Hard to explain, this was bad the first week at night, felt like i was being tickled by a feather at random) still get sensation but rarely

Tinnitus (Again this is off and on but getting better as time goes on)

 

Overall, I am very functional and the symptoms are more of an inconvenience than anything.  Looking forward to month 2!

 

Stay strong!

sharkey

So happy for you Sharkey!  Keep it up!!!!! 

Sharkey! You are an inspiration to me! Congratulations! 

Thanks Herckie!

 

How you feeling since the jump clona?

 

Hi Sharkey, Thank you for asking, yeah! I am feeling good!  , my sxs, which have been mild, are hearing issues (hopefully they are due to wd, I have only one ear from birth), chest pressure, head aches and weird brain sensations when I close my eyes to sleep, I have not had these weirds feelings in the last three days and I hope they are never back 

All the best