One month benzo free, one week at new job; I feel like a new man!

What a profound change has happened this month since I quit Klonopin! Back in February I was bed-ridden with depression and anxiety over having no work and running out of money. It had been 6 years since I was laid off from my last full-time job. In those 6 years I managed to lose my house, disintegrated my marriage, wrecked my car, was semi-homeless for 6 months and lived on the edge of poverty for at least 3 years. I was working from home and barely making ends meet. I was secluded, lonely and broke. The only good thing I had going for me was seeing my kids for 1/2 the week.

 

I had always taken about one or two .5mg doses of Klonopin per week but in February I had increased to daily doses. I began scaring myself with thoughts of suicide and knew I needed to do something to rise from the depths of self-doubt and hopelessness. I tried quitting Klonopin cold turkey but suffered from intense adrenalin surges, depersonalization and insomnia. I finally started a steady benzo taper three months ago, along with talk therapy, meditation, regular exercise and a reinstatement of Zoloft.

 

The taper really helped me stabilize and I was able to concentrate on updating my resume and looking for work. My last dose was a month ago. I'm excited to say that I just finished my first week at a great new job and didn't suffer any anxiety attacks! What a difference. Last fall I quit a job after just one day because I suffered a WD influenced panic attack. This time I was steady and calm and ready to take on the challenges.

 

Looking forward I can finally see the end of these past 6 years of financial stress. I may even start saving! I feel so much better being benzo free and hope that others will see that it's possible to move beyond these medications and find a new life for themselves.

Congratulations, that is awesome

You've been through so much, Travis. Your new job and new outlook on life is wonderful to read!

 

Life is only going to get better from here. 

Super congrats! What a great story of recovery.

Travis,

 

this is so wonderful! I am sincerely so happy for you. You, like so many of us here, have suffered so much, and even more at the hands of these drugs. You have been so strong, and now your strength and perseverance are paying off.

 

Cherish this new freedom everday!!

 

Hug,

Shannon :smitten:

That is all fantastic news. I am so happy for you.

Thanks so much everyone! I really don't think I would have been able to do it without this board. It was a true wake up call.

Congrats TravisP!!

 

I've been out of work for over 6 months so it was a refreshing boost to read your email.

So awesome travis! You are living proof you CAN heal and begin again...God bless and may your future be blessed greatly 

Great and thanks for sharing your story with us.

Just seeing this, Travis… woo hoo!  and :high five: !

This is great news!!  Happy for you!! 

Amazing story! I'm so proud of you!  :thumbsup:

I reached the 2 month milestone and don't even think about Klonopin any more. One month at the new job and things are going great. Haven't had a panic attack, or much anxiety at all really. What a different life I'm leading compared to just a few months ago.

Thanks so much for the supportive comments!

This is great news!!  I am so happy for you.  Congratulations!!

Congratz Travis!  Happy to see you are doing so good post jump man.

 

Stay strong!

sharkey

I reached the 2 month milestone and don't even think about Klonopin any more. One month at the new job and things are going great. Haven't had a panic attack, or much anxiety at all really. What a different life I'm leading compared to just a few months ago.

 

So awesome! I agree and isn't it amazing that pills are all we thought about when we were taking them...Better not forget them, I'm gonna be gone all day...make sure I have them on this trip, for this flight, be sure I have them dealing with this, or that...blah, blah, blah, BLECH! 

LORD what a joy to be free, totally free! Now all I have in my purse is some Tylenol, yippee!

 

Keep rollin Travis, awesome freedom it is 

I've made it 6 months free now! It's funny how little I think about K now considering how obsessed I was with it during the taper!

 

I wrote a little more about what's been happening in my life over on the Success boards: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=145164.0

So awesome Travis! This is one journey, we all can hardly wait to forget 

I am happy for your success Travis! you truly sound like a great person, thank you for the kind words you have posted on my post

xo

That's awesome!  Congratulations and God speed!!

Thanks so much. It's now been more than 16 months benzo-free and 9 months Zoloft-free. I've greatly reduced my alcohol consumption, quit coffee, and managed to lose 30 pounds! I think I was craving carbs while on Zoloft and that caused my weight gain.

 

While I think I'm fully recovered from Klonopin WD I still suffer from mild depression occasionally and am always wondering if I'd be better off with an AD. Luckily things are mild so I can cope and I think I'm better off being Zoloft-free rather than having the side effects. I've been doing a lot of meditation and listening to talks by Tara Brach. These have been helping with my state of mind and keep me in the moment. I also exercise regularly, running and swimming a couple times each week.

 

I've been at my job a bit more than a year and it's been great. I've gotten caught up on my bills, got a car and have finally found financial stability after 6 years of a roller coaster of debt and living on the edge.

 

My relationship with my kids is better now than it's ever been. Having money has helped me be able to do things like taking trips and going camping and this has been a wonderful way to spend time with them. When I was on the benzo merry-go-round I used to deal with anxiety by popping a Klonopin and tuning things out, including my family. Now things are totally different. I'm present in their lives and, even though things are still hectic, I deal with problems and stress as they come, rather than hiding.  I feel stronger and more available every day and my kids have noticed the change, especially since the food I cook is much better!

 

I can't blame all my past problems on Klonopin but I can say that getting off of the benzo was a big step in learning to deal with my emotions and take control of my life. I've learned to appreciate reality as it is and do the things I need to do to make a better life.

 

I don't know where I'd be without this board! There are so many wonderful people here who've help me when i was struggling and I hope I can return the favor and help others who are going through tough times.

I just came across your story.  Congratulations!  Your story is one of courage, persistence and redemption.  You will be an inspiration to everyone who reads it.  Best wishes for the rest of your new life.

Thanks Gingermint. When I look back now I can't believe it was ever that bad, but back then I couldn't see how things could get any better! It just shows how big changes can come from taking small steps.