From a mess..., to success!!!

How I went from a mess, to success!!!

 

This will be a long post, so grab a snack and get comfortable, because...it's going to be a bumpy ride. MUHAHAHAHA!!!

 

When I first joined Benzobuddies, I was a c/t mess. I had c/t'd off of .50 of Xanax that had been prescribed to me for sleep. After a year, I noticed it made me feel funny when I took it at night. Sort of an anxious feeling. Needless to say, I didn't like the feeling, so I just stopped taking it. Ha Ha!! WRONG CHOICE!!

 

This one simple act landed me into HELL!! I had no idea that I just couldn't stop taking it, because I now realize that I had no idea what the heck I had been taking every night for a year. Did I know it was addictive?? Yep. But, I always made sure I took a very low amount to avoid becoming addicted. What I didn't know, was that with benzo's, it isn't how MUCH you take, but how LONG you take it.

So, my c/t hell consisted of only about 8 hours of TOTAL sleep in two weeks. Being unable to eat without gagging. Constant anxiety attacks (I learned later this is what they were, since I had never had one before). A constant rocky/boaty type feeling. Severe agoraphobia. And, just way too many other symptoms to list.

 

After the first few days of searching for answers, I found Benzobuddies and knew that I had found the solution to my mystery illness.

Continuing to suffer, I lived on BB's to try and find a solution to get me out of my hell. But, sadly, there was no solution...just time. So, I settled in for the long haul and took the advice of many of those here on BB who had gone through this before.

 

After a few months, my pre-existing heart condition kicked into high gear and I could not stay out of the hospital. This is when I was talked into going back on a benzo to calm it down and then this would allow me to taper properly over time.

 

I have to admit, that this was the best solution for me at the time.

 

But, I look back now and realize that if I would have done several things different, I probably would not have had to go back on a benzo and would probably have been healed long before I have finished my taper.

 

What are those things??

 

Well, let me say this...

 

Benzobuddies is a great site, and very much needed..., but what works for one person does not work for another. And, when you are in the middle of a c/t, and so fearful, you will listen and do what anybody tells you to do.

 

I made the mistake of reading too many horror stories on this site. I made the mistake of listening to others who told me what not to eat and drink. I went from 200 lbs down to 125 lbs. My family cried everyday, thinking they were going to lose me. I look back now and realize that I was starving myself!!! All because of fear and the advice I had read on here. NOT GOOD!!! This was why my heart was going mad and putting me in the hospital. Not enough nutrients to keep my body running. I was basically living on boiled chicken and green beans, which equals NO CALORIES!! Never let fear guide you...it will take you down the wrong path every time. I learned this the hard way!! (my point was not meant to sound anti-BB, it was about not letting fear guide you)

 

Okay, so for all the newbies, those who are still scared, and everybody else who wants to read this, here are the things that I have learned along the way. I know this will probably tick a lot of people off, but I don't really care. Everybody is different, and this is what "I" learned along the way. What worked for me, may not work for you.

 

1. Find a taper that is right for you and taper slowly. Enough said.

 

2. EAT!! Eat whatever sounds good to you!! Whatever you can get down your throat!! I now eat whatever the heck I want. Even if it has sugar in it, or msg. I had no problem with it before and I still don't. Even caffeine in moderation is a wonderful thing!!! I love Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger's and Sour Cream and Chive potato's. Just eat it!!! You can diet later.

 

3. Don't read the horror stories on here!!! Everybody's situation is different. There are people on here (and off) who relish in the horror of their lives. They love blaming everybody else (or a drug), and love to push their hatefulness on to anybody that will listen. And, even those that don't want to hear it. They demand sensitivity from you, but are unwilling to be sensitive back. They just need to grow up!! Put on their big girl/boy panties and deal with it!!! (please finish reading the whole thing, before you get ticked off) 

 

4. Be careful about the individual advice your receive on here. Again, everybody is different. What works for them, may not work for you. The best piece of advice I have ever seen on here was "distraction". That is the key.

 

5. Distraction!! As mentioned previously, distraction is the best thing to getting through this. But, HOW you distract is the most important thing. Living on BB is not a great distraction. It can sometimes cause more harm than good. I put puzzles together my first 4 months of tapering. Once I got back to living a full life, my family kept me pretty busy. Crafting is another great distraction. Just make it whatever you like to do. Movies, games, puzzles, reading..., whatever!! (again, not meant to be taken as being anti-BB)

 

6. Learn to accept your life. Learn coping skills. I was more of a depressive type before benzo's, and during. I will NEVER be depressed again!! If I can conquer this..., I can conquer anything!!! I enjoy life now. I do what makes me happy. And, if I have to do something that I don't enjoy, then I live with it and love it anyway. I know, easier said than done. But, it CAN be done!! You are important! Your life is important! So, make your life important to you!

 

7. Be kind..., to yourself and to others. If someone is having a bad day, they don't need you adding to it. If you are having a bad day, you don't need other people, or yourself, adding to it. Having a bad day is normal. Taking a pill for it isn't. Hop into a bubble bath, with a good book or music and let it relax your troubles away. My favorite thing is to smile. I love to smile at elderly people at the store. Their sweet faces just light up when you smile at them. Then they will smile all day, and so will you. And, please stay out of the squabbling on here. There is just way too much of it on this site, at times. It does nobody any good. It only causes harm and hurt feelings. And frankly, that was one of the reasons I stopped coming on here as much. Just be supportive and help others!! That is what this great site is here for!! Love, support, and understanding!!

 

8. Sleep. This is another very important part of this process. Our bodies heal during a good nights sleep. And, sadly, this is one of the reasons that so many of us were put on these dang pills. Find another remedy. Even if it is in pill form. A warm bath can help relax you. Vitamin C might also help. It did help me for quite awhile, to keep from waking up at 3 am every morning. I took a nibble of 15 mg Remeron pill (about 1/8 of a pill). It acts like an anti-histamine and makes you drowsy enough to fall a sleep. I had no trouble reducing the amount I was taking, and I am now off of it. I started at half of a pill, went down to a fourth, and then to an eighth. Just find whatever works for you, and stick with it.

 

9. Find a buddy. A buddy that can either understand what you are going through, or loves you enough to stick with you through this. One thing that I love to tell people, is that too many friends can lead to too many enemies. If you can find one friend that will love you through anything, they are worth more than 10 friends who can't. If you don't have someone close to you, then find that someone here on BB. But, be choosy who you trust!!! And, when you find the right one, stick with them. Be their buddy through the rough times, and they will be yours. I found one on here, and she is the best!! (you know who you are) She helped me get over my fear of food. A true blessing!! I also have another buddy on here that was the epitome of support and reason. He helped me understand the math part of my taper and stuck with me through every step. He is the reason I am now a success story. (and, you know who you are, too) Again, BE CHOOSY who you trust.

 

10. And, my final thing to say is that...this will end. You will be back to living a full life in no time. I truly believe that most people who are still having problems years later, still haven't figured out how to cope (not everyone). Or, they may have a physical cause for some of their symptoms. It could be an allergy of some sort. Or, their diet. Or, even a nutrient deficiency. The point is, I watched my Mother-in-law deteriorate, right before my eyes, from cancer. But, I can tell you that it did NOT beat her!! She won!! Yes, she died from it eventually. But, it was years after the original time they told her she would die. She was up sweeping her house everyday. She cooked. She took care of her family. She crocheted a ton of baby blankets to give away. She read a ton of books. She watched her favorite movies and tv shows. She would not let it win, because she refused to let it become the focus of her life. So, in other words, she lived to die. She didn't lay down to die. She LIVED because she BELIEVED she could!!! If you believe you can overcome this, then you will. If you lay down and give up, then you won't. Will you have some issues along the way? Sure. Who doesn't. But, when you finally decide that you want to live through it, rather than lay down and suffer through it, then you will be a success. (I am not saying that people don't have a long recovery. If you think that, then please read this part again.)

 

 

Now, if you think that I have no room to talk because you think that I had it easy, you can stop that thought right there.

Seven weeks after my c/t nightmare, my Mother in law passed away from cancer. A few months after that, my Father in law had a stroke. Three months later, my Uncle (who was like my big brother) unexpectedly passed away from a massive heart attack. This was a major shock to my system. Then, two weeks after this, my Mother had a stroke. A few months after this, my 13 year old Chihuahua lap baby had to be put down. These are all people, and pets, that I had daily contact with. They all lived with me, or within a few blocks of me. So, every one of these events was a major blow to me.

 

So, no, I did not have it easy during my c/t or taper. After my Mother's stroke, I had to pull myself up and out of this benzo mess and take care of her. She is much better now, but no longer drives. So, I finally had to start driving again after 8 months of not driving. I also take care of my Grandmother. And, I have a beautiful grandbaby to take care of. She just turned two, and is going through the typical 'terrible two's'...Lord, help me.

 

So, don't sit there and think that I have made my mess sound like a bed of roses, because it was far from it. I just learned to cope with everything that was thrown at me. It wasn't easy, but I am so proud of myself for doing it. I had to relearn coping skills, and find some new ones.

 

I have also gone back to my writing and crafting. Something I never thought I would be able to do again.

 

So, if I can do this, then anybody can do it. You just have to want it badly enough.

 

I guess my main point is this..., either shit or get off the pot!!! No other way to say it. Getting better will never happen if you sit around and wait for it. Push for it, work for it, EXPECT it, and live it. It will happen.

 

I know that y'all are wondering what my lingering symptoms are, since it is usually one of the number one questions asked after a success story is posted. My only lingering issue is my heart stuff. I had a pre-existing condition of SVT (look it up), and I have had more episodes in the past 2 years than I have had in my entire life. I will probably have to put up with this for years. I have no doubt that there might even be a little bit of damage done from my starving myself for soooo long. My diet did a total 180 and tanked my poor system.

 

But, if that is all, then I will live with it..., and be happy about it. And, still be a success!!!

 

Love and Healing Hugs,

 

Nana 

 

PS. I went to the Dr today, and the nurse commented several times how much healthier I am looking. It truly made my day, and made me realize how far I have come. The other day, an employee at my pharmacy told me the same thing. She also went on to tell me how bad I had been looking, and was so pleased to see me looking so well now. I have another friend, that has known me for years, tell me that she thought I was never going to make it. She had fully expected to be going to my funeral a year and a half ago. See, you can survive this...no matter how bad you get.

 

Nana, your success story is great!!!, CONGRATULATIONS!!!,  it is so inspiring to read your post! so nice, so positive, so full of life! Thank you!!!

Nana!!! Hi! My God what a story. Having a kind of tough evening and decided to head right to the success stories and saw yours! Thank for the advice, I love what you said about distraction and to live your life. I really admire you and I remember a few of your other post and I'm so happy that you don't have the words once and for all. god bless you and continue to live life to the fullest.

Congratulations, Nana!  Thanks for posting this inspiring story. 

Wahoo!  Congrats on your success and thanks for posting this fabulous success story!

Nana, your success story is great!!!, CONGRATULATIONS!!!,  it is so inspiring to read your post! so nice, so positive, so full of life! Thank you!!!

 

Thank you!!

 

Are you off or really close?? Either way, just take it all one day at a time. Success WILL be yours, no matter how long it takes!!!

 

Hugs,

 

Nana 

Nana!!! Hi! My God what a story. Having a kind of tough evening and decided to head right to the success stories and saw yours! Thank for the advice, I love what you said about distraction and to live your life. I really admire you and I remember a few of your other post and I'm so happy that you don't have the words once and for all. god bless you and continue to live life to the fullest.

 

Awww!! I remember you!!! 

 

Sweetie, these 'tough evenings' will make you a stronger person. So, be thankful for them. Nothing is easy, because if it was then you would never know joy. And, joy is the fruit of life.

 

Hugs 

 

Nana

Congratulations, Nana!  Thanks for posting this inspiring story. 

 

Thank you, so much!!! I have seen you around the forum for so long. You are such an inspiration to those of us on here. So, thank you for all that you do!!

 

Btw, I love what you have posted in your profile area about distraction. So true!!!

 

Hugs,

 

Nana 

Wahoo!  Congrats on your success and thanks for posting this fabulous success story!

 

Thank you, so much!!!

 

I have also seen you on here, giving such wonderful help and advice to so many. Thank you, too, for all that you do!!

 

Hugs,

 

Nana 

Great success story!

(((Nana)))

 

You are there, you are healed, you have recovered!!!! 

 

I'm so pleased to hear how well you are doing, it was a pretty difficult struggle for you.  Take all the compliments to heart, you've earned them.

 

Enjoy that grandbaby, aren't they wonderful?  You now can spend time with this child and not have to worry about benzo withdrawal any more.

 

Many of us had family/ friend traumas while in withdrawal or recovery. It certainly tests our strength and stamina but in the end proves that we don't need drugs to deal with what life has to throw at us.

 

Thanks so much for sharing your heart and your story.

 

PG 

Great success story!

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

Just a quick update:

 

I will not be on BB for awhile. I am busy taking care of my Mom, Grandmother, and Grandbaby. I am also going to be in my first craft show this year!! I am so excited!! I have been crafting for over 20 years, and have always wanted to be in a craft show, but just never made myself do it. Well, I am doing it this year!!

 

This whole experience has taught me to live my dreams, no matter what. Life is too short to sit back and wish your life away. You need to get out there and make it happen. Don't make plans for your future (life after w/d). Start living it now. That has made all the difference with me. I MAKE myself stay busy. Doing that got me through the entire last half of my taper, and I was able to actually step off early with no bumps or bruises.

 

I still have some minor health issues, but nothing related to w/d. I have had no window or waves. Just a constant, steady improvement.

 

Find something that excites you, and makes you want to get out of bed every morning. Yes, I know that is hard to do!! But, believe me...it will be worth it in the end. Just distract and stay busy. That is the key!!

 

Love and hugs,

 

Nana 

I'm testing my benzo-brain ''Denise'', hope I'm right.....

remember what a tough journey it was for you.

 

So glad to see your success story, I can hear happiness.....

wish you well.

 

Great story!!! So sorry about your losses.

SophiasNana holy crap how did I miss your success story!?!?!?!

 

Seriously this is one amazing success story and absolutely bang on I am delighted to know you're doing so well...best of luck to you living your dream

Hi SophiasNana,

It so good to see you healed so quickly.

Hope you have the best life ever!

 

Congrats on your success! its amazing and you should be so proud.

 

But I want to say that it is offensive some of things you said. And I think you know that. Most of the people going through this are rightfully angry for what has happened to them as a result of a drug given to them by someone they trusted. It is not hateful (but normal) to carry a lot of resentment about that. And if everyone thinks like you and doesn't shift some of the blame on the doctors, this drug will just continue to be prescribed to more hapless patients who have no idea of the ramifications. And once a person is dependent and sick, no amount of putting on our big boy/girl panties is gonna take away some of the devastating losses that result from the extreme suffering and disability that results from benzo illness. We must remember that this really is an iatrogenic illness. It is a medically induced illness. It is not an addiction in the traditional sense, so a person should never be made to feel guilty for what has happened. It is really not their fault.

 

You know, we're all doing the best we can in a horrific situation. I think it's a little uncharitable to turn around and tell people going through this to suck it up. I mean, it just doesnt help matters. It makes people feel even more guilty for being in this awful situation.

 

A person will eventually come to an acceptance of this situation, but that acceptance is a process. The person needs to go through various stages before they can accept it. You cant really will that, only time will bring a person to that point.

 

 

I thought this success story would hit people this way when I first read it, and I agree with Sophielove.

Congrats on your success! its amazing and you should be so proud.

 

But I want to say that it is offensive some of things you said. And I think you know that. Most of the people going through this are rightfully angry for what has happened to them as a result of a drug given to them by someone they trusted. It is not hateful (but normal) to carry a lot of resentment about that. And if everyone thinks like you and doesn't shift some of the blame on the doctors, this drug will just continue to be prescribed to more hapless patients who have no idea of the ramifications. And once a person is dependent and sick, no amount of putting on our big boy/girl panties is gonna take away some of the devastating losses that result from the extreme suffering and disability that results from benzo illness. We must remember that this really is an iatrogenic illness. It is a medically induced illness. It is not an addiction in the traditional sense, so a person should never be made to feel guilty for what has happened. It is really not their fault.

 

You know, we're all doing the best we can in a horrific situation. I think it's a little uncharitable to turn around and tell people going through this to suck it up. I mean, it just doesnt help matters. It makes people feel even more guilty for being in this awful situation.

 

A person will eventually come to an acceptance of this situation, but that acceptance is a process. The person needs to go through various stages before they can accept it. You cant really will that, only time will bring a person to that point.

 

Hello Sophielove,

 

I hope you are doing well and I want to thank you for reading my success story. But, I have to wonder if you really understood what I was saying. No where in this post did I tell anyone to "suck it up". My point about the big boy/girl panties were for those that are incessant on pushing the horror of their lives on everyone else (not related to benzo w/d). There have been a few on here that will spout nothing but anger and hatred, because they are just so unhappy in their own lives. It was those types of people that left me feeling helpless and depressed so many times. If you reread my story, you will see me trying to push the fact that no matter how sick you are, there will come a time that life will get better. And, that was the one thing that I searched for on here, when I was in the depths of my own personal hell. I just wanted to read about how someone came out of this hell and made it back to living life, because I found it very hard to believe that it would ever happen to me.

 

YES, this is a horrible experience!! The most horrible thing that I have ever been through. I seriously think about going back and slapping the crap out of my former doctor that put me on this poison for sleep, and then tried to make me believe that I was crazy because he said that there was no such thing as benzo w/d. Fortunately, I now have great new doctor who was willing to understand what I was going through and help me. I don't think he truly believes in benzo w/d either, but at least he was willing to let me do the taper that I felt was best for me

 

I was also relating my own personal experiences about how fear (brought on by benzo w/d) can make you do things that are unhealthy for you. It happened to me, and I was nearly a walking corpse because of it. All it took was one friend on here to help pull me out of that fear. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. She was with me for every bite I took of food that I was terrified to put in my mouth. I have now gained back 25 lbs, but that fear still lingers a little in the back of my mind. There are a few of my favorite foods that I have yet to try. But, I probably shouldn't eat them anyway because of how unhealthy they were (like hot dogs  ).

 

You will also see that some of the people who responded to my story, were people who witnessed my own hell on here and commented on that fact. My road was certainly not easy, and I absolutely did not try to play it off in my story that it was. As I stated, I only related the things the "I" learned along the way. The things that helped "me", since that is what people want to read in a success story. I never said that anyone had to accept this horror. I only said that "I" eventually learned to accept what was happening to "me". And, the whole process sucked!! 

 

I was also not given a choice on facing some things. I would have much preferred staying in my own home, dealing with my own horror and problems. Especially, since every time I left my house, I would have an anxiety attack (I think I forgot to mention that in my story). Just thinking about having to go somewhere would have me gagging in the bathroom. That eased up a little over time, but I still never felt comfortable leaving my home, let alone driving. That is until I HAD to leave. I HAD to drive to the hospital because my mother had a stroke. I am an only child, so I had no one to fall back on. Every step into that hospital was pure agony. My heart raced, my legs wobbled, and I nearly passed out on several occasions. But, after a few weeks of being FORCED out of my house, it started to feel more natural. After about two months, it really started to feel like I was getting my old life back. After six months, the fear was completely gone. I look back now and realize that if I had not been forced out of my house, to care for my mother, I would possibly still be living in fear of leaving it. Again, I was just relating my own experiences.

 

Sorry this was a long post. I just wanted you to see that I do understand the horrors that this poison can bring to people's lives, through no fault of their own. But, also that some things can be read and the intention of the statements be misunderstood, as I think was the case here. I tried to condense most my story down to positive thoughts on the things that I experienced, otherwise my story would have been novel length. So, I guess that part of the blame of the misunderstanding of my intentions is definitely on me. Sorry about that. 

 

I wish many wonderful and positive things for you!!! And, you know what?? I know that they will happen in time. Because, I NEVER believed it would happen to me, and it did. We all heal!! 

 

Love and Hugs,

 

Nana 

I'm testing my benzo-brain ''Denise'', hope I'm right.....

remember what a tough journey it was for you.

 

So glad to see your success story, I can hear happiness.....

wish you well.

 

Thank you, Claudia!!! 

 

And yes, you got my name right.

 

Hope you are doing well, my friend. I know that you and I had many discussions on this horrible mess that we were put in. And, you certainly have suffered quite horribly yourself. Glad that you are still on here giving wonderful love and advice. I would love to do that, but taking care of my mom, grandma, and grandbaby is keeping me extremely busy.

 

And, yes the happiness is overflowing here. I am still dealing with some non-benzo health issues, but all-in-all I am the happiest I have been in a long time.

 

Love an hugs to you, my friend!!

 

Nana (Denise) 

SophiasNana holy crap how did I miss your success story!?!?!?!

 

Seriously this is one amazing success story and absolutely bang on I am delighted to know you're doing so well...best of luck to you living your dream

 

Girl, you were one of my inspirations!!! I am so happy that you were also able to get off this poison and heal. Every time that happens, it is a good kick in the eye to those doctors that put us on this poison. 

 

Love and hugs,

 

Nana 

Congrats on your success! its amazing and you should be so proud.

 

But I want to say that it is offensive some of things you said. And I think you know that. Most of the people going through this are rightfully angry for what has happened to them as a result of a drug given to them by someone they trusted. It is not hateful (but normal) to carry a lot of resentment about that. And if everyone thinks like you and doesn't shift some of the blame on the doctors, this drug will just continue to be prescribed to more hapless patients who have no idea of the ramifications. And once a person is dependent and sick, no amount of putting on our big boy/girl panties is gonna take away some of the devastating losses that result from the extreme suffering and disability that results from benzo illness. We must remember that this really is an iatrogenic illness. It is a medically induced illness. It is not an addiction in the traditional sense, so a person should never be made to feel guilty for what has happened. It is really not their fault.

 

You know, we're all doing the best we can in a horrific situation. I think it's a little uncharitable to turn around and tell people going through this to suck it up. I mean, it just doesnt help matters. It makes people feel even more guilty for being in this awful situation.

 

A person will eventually come to an acceptance of this situation, but that acceptance is a process. The person needs to go through various stages before they can accept it. You cant really will that, only time will bring a person to that point.

 

Hello Sophielove,

 

I hope you are doing well and I want to thank you for reading my success story. But, I have to wonder if you really understood what I was saying. No where in this post did I tell anyone to "suck it up". My point about the big boy/girl panties were for those that are incessant on pushing the horror of their lives on everyone else (not related to benzo w/d). There have been a few on here that will spout nothing but anger and hatred, because they are just so unhappy in their own lives. It was those types of people that left me feeling helpless and depressed so many times. If you reread my story, you will see me trying to push the fact that no matter how sick you are, there will come a time that life will get better. And, that was the one thing that I searched for on here, when I was in the depths of my own personal hell. I just wanted to read about how someone came out of this hell and made it back to living life, because I found it very hard to believe that it would ever happen to me.

 

YES, this is a horrible experience!! The most horrible thing that I have ever been through. I seriously think about going back and slapping the crap out of my former doctor that put me on this poison for sleep, and then tried to make me believe that I was crazy because he said that there was no such thing as benzo w/d. Fortunately, I now have great new doctor who was willing to understand what I was going through and help me. I don't think he truly believes in benzo w/d either, but at least he was willing to let me do the taper that I felt was best for me

 

I was also relating my own personal experiences about how fear (brought on by benzo w/d) can make you do things that are unhealthy for you. It happened to me, and I was nearly a walking corpse because of it. All it took was one friend on here to help pull me out of that fear. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. She was with me for every bite I took of food that I was terrified to put in my mouth. I have now gained back 25 lbs, but that fear still lingers a little in the back of my mind. There are a few of my favorite foods that I have yet to try. But, I probably shouldn't eat them anyway because of how unhealthy they were (like hot dogs  ).

 

You will also see that some of the people who responded to my story, were people who witnessed my own hell on here and commented on that fact. My road was certainly not easy, and I absolutely did not try to play it off in my story that it was. As I stated, I only related the things the "I" learned along the way. The things that helped "me", since that is what people want to read in a success story. I never said that anyone had to accept this horror. I only said that "I" eventually learned to accept what was happening to "me". And, the whole process sucked!! 

 

I was also not given a choice on facing some things. I would have much preferred staying in my own home, dealing with my own horror and problems. Especially, since every time I left my house, I would have an anxiety attack (I think I forgot to mention that in my story). Just thinking about having to go somewhere would have me gagging in the bathroom. That eased up a little over time, but I still never felt comfortable leaving my home, let alone driving. That is until I HAD to leave. I HAD to drive to the hospital because my mother had a stroke. I am an only child, so I had no one to fall back on. Every step into that hospital was pure agony. My heart raced, my legs wobbled, and I nearly passed out on several occasions. But, after a few weeks of being FORCED out of my house, it started to feel more natural. After about two months, it really started to feel like I was getting my old life back. After six months, the fear was completely gone. I look back now and realize that if I had not been forced out of my house, to care for my mother, I would possibly still be living in fear of leaving it. Again, I was just relating my own experiences.

 

Sorry this was a long post. I just wanted you to see that I do understand the horrors that this poison can bring to people's lives, through no fault of their own. But, also that some things can be read and the intention of the statements be misunderstood, as I think was the case here. I tried to condense most my story down to positive thoughts on the things that I experienced, otherwise my story would have been novel length. So, I guess that part of the blame of the misunderstanding of my intentions is definitely on me. Sorry about that. 

 

I wish many wonderful and positive things for you!!! And, you know what?? I know that they will happen in time. Because, I NEVER believed it would happen to me, and it did. We all heal!! 

 

Love and Hugs,

 

Nana 

 

Nana, thanks for your reply. I must have read into it wrong then, I got the impression that your message conveyed a "suck it up" approach. I'm sorry if I read into it wrongly.

 

I'm sorry that you had to go through that with your Mom. I cant imagine facing that right now. Glad your out of the woods! It will only get better from here. God Bless. 

Bump!

 

Great success story... Love the part "live though it not just suffer through it".  Very inspirational!

Thank you for the Bump! I needed to read this today.