Taper tips from an experienced daily taperer (a novel, sorry)

Hello friends,

 

I've been at this awhile now (3.5 years) so I wanted to pay forward some hard-won advice as I near the end (AT LAST!) First, even though it's practically impossible, let your symptoms be your guide. If they are worsening, slow down. The great thing about a daily taper is that it allows you to (mostly) control the level of withdrawal you feel by adding extra milk/water/whatever you are using to dilute your solution...or even (God forbid) back-up.

 

I did this a number of times to rescue myself successfully. There was my catastrophic mistake a year ago February where I had two weeks left on my taper and nibbled extra twice to combat a headache and then got severely ill over the next week as my body tried to readjust to the small amount I was actually on. I made the difficult decision to retaper all the way from 4 mgs Valium and added a YEAR! I was devastated, BUT that allowed me to resume feeling mostly well. Instead of being on the sofa like I was, I was able to take a seven week trip to Europe. A once-in-a-lifetime experience for sure. Not one regret.

 

While over there, I ran out of the magnesium tablets I was taking daily (the one supp that helps in withdrawal IMO if you have muscle spasms...don't use the spray though as it causes insomnia. Liquid to drink is great.). I really didn't realize they were helping as much as they were and sure enough without it, I got a horrific back spasm that threatened to derail my whole trip. So I backed up .5 mg Valium and within days I was great again.

 

It seems I have had to learn things the hard way again and again here. For instance, I tried dry cutting pills probably TEN times over as many years to always fail and then reinstate at the end. So if you are are doing a daily taper, congrats! Hopefully you learn more quickly than me and skipped all that.

 

I belonged to another forum early in my taper which since closed and elected to mostly spend time here to read success stories for encouragement. It helped me a great deal once I understood how to taper and things were going well to limit my exposure to the stress of others except for 2 taper buddies who I texted with a great deal.

 

The most important thing I wanted to share though is about how to manage the end of your taper. Despite a very experienced person emphasizing to me ad nauseum to TAKE THE END SLOWLY, I didn't listen. I was just so excited about my end date of April 18 that I was determined to be done then. She had explained again and again that the end is a delicate thing...and that if you want to avoid protracted withdrawal, it's important to continue to slow as symptoms increase. She also said that even though you are tapering at the same rate as you did all along, the daily percentage is now much greater at the end and harder for your body to handle.

 

And yet, 7 days from the end, when sleep got a bit choppier and I started having night sweats, I told myself I could take it. I mean, I am 51 and perimenopausal. I even missed a period this month. Must be menopause and hormones, right? So I forged on. Then last Saturday I slept just 3 hours (I normally have good sleep.) Sunday I felt anxious and nauseated and I knew definitively because I'd felt it before: Things were definitely headed south. If I'd stopped as planned, I'm sure I would've worsened over the next week and thought my long taper had not saved me from a bad end.

 

So I backed up my taper 10 days—this was literally the DAY before I was supposed to be done—and also added 2 ml water to my liquid Valium solution (note: use whole milk with tablets, water with liquid V) which will add 10 days more. In just one day, I was back to sleeping with NO night sweats or hot flashes. Incredible to me.

 

I predict I will continue to add 2 mls a number of times more before this is over to continue to feel 90 percent healed. Even though I am at just .1 today, this could still take a number of months. I realize this all sounds crazy,but I am struck by something Diaz-Pam (an experienced taperer her here) shared with me a year ago. She has a theory that due to the long half life of Valium, we can really be on up to 8 times what we think we are. Holding (or in my case slowing way down again and again as symptoms dictate) helps clear that out for a smooth landing.

 

The person who has helped me on this taper recently told me that people often refuse to slow at the end because they are stuck on meeting their end date and then face protracted withdrawal and believe the taper didn't work. She said to me, "The taper works, but the taperers dont." Gosh, I didn't mean to write a novel. I just hope my experience is helpful to someone.

 

Happy tapering to all,

 

Bubbles

Sage advise, well said and all daily taper members need to head your words 

Thank you for the advice and many congratulations on your perseverance. If someone could just define what stable actually means while you are in peri-menopause, it would be helpful. I have felt horrible the whole time I have been on benzos--the K I was first prescribed literally made me paranoid and freaky within weeks. So, I don't have any idea what normal is any longer.

So glad I could be helpful. The important thing is to remember that your goal is to FEEL AS WELL AS POSSIBLE rather than BE OFF. Of course we all detest this drug and want it out of our lives. But what is the point if we struggle the whole way and miss out on life we could be living until then? And even worse, after we are done!

 

Easier said than done, I know.    One thing I found invaluable was having an experienced taper buddy I trusted to hold me accountable when I wasn't thinking straight due to fear and anxiety. I needed her to say, "Do you want to be on the sofa? Or do you want to have a fun summer?"