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SEVERE insomniacs emergency hangout


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LIC, this insomnia stuff is brutal. It's so frustrating when we try many different things and we still don't sleep. I only sleep when I take pretty high doses of antidepressants and antipsychotics. I'm really looking forward to when sleep starts to return. You're not alone with this.

 

It's good that something is working for you but at the same time then you get stuck on antidepressants and antipsychotics which are not healthy long-term either.  High doses of antipsychotics used to work for me many years ago but no longer.  Antidepressants got me into this mess to begin me.  The quality of life on any of these medications is just so poor.  I cannot believe that this time around the only major withdrawal symptom I'm getting while I withdrawn is insomnia.  However, that is the most brutal one in my opinion.  Last time I detoxed I got brain zaps, tinnitus, burning sensations etc.  My family is ready to throw the towel in and force me back up to 3 mg or send me back to inpatient.  I'm ready to give up too because there doesn't seem to be a solution this time around.  I'm not a strong person like most of the people here on the BB are.  I have a feeling that you'll find your way out of this hell though MT.

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Hi Shirah and MT:

 

Sorry I haven't checked in sooner but been paying a lot of attention to KK as I found it hard to start my micro taper. Yes, Shirah, the exercise worked quite well for a while. Was upping my sleep to 7 hours per night. But when I hit the .625 mg mark of K, my sleep has been terrible. I don't know what to do at 3 am but cut more pills. How pathetic. Now the exercise only does not work but revs me up. I took to do it at 8 am so my cortisol spike will go down, but that hasn't work. Now that I am down to .48 I am lucky to get a few hours of badly broken sleep. I am beginning to hate the evening cause I know what will come next. I'll be wide awake at 2:30 and went to bed at midnight. THIS IS THE VERY WORST SYMPTOM OUT THERE!!!!! I feel like a walking zombie, have no energy, just bad fatigue and when my mom asks me to take the garbage out I can barely managed to lift the can. Plus I get cotton brain so I cannot think or drive. :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: I welcome myself to this section. At least you guys know what this is like. One big sad exhausted club.

:'( :'( :'(

Bets

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Taking my meds at the same early time they forced us to take them at my last inpatient stay has not worked.  I tried going to bed at 2:00 AM after it felt like I nodded off for a 15 minute nap in my reclining chair.  So I'm running on a 15 minute nap.  It's almost 5:30 AM now.  I laid in bed and time felt like it slowed down significantly.  I just wish I could get at least 5 hours of sleep and break this cycle of hell.
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Benzogirl - Yes, I agree that insomnia is the absolute worst symptom. It's hard to function at all when you're severely sleep-deprived...I haven't been posting here much lately either, mostly because I've started doing better with sleep. I still have the occasional sleepless night, but am averaging about 5 hours/night the past month, and that's without taking any meds -- a huge improvement! I started going to an integrated functional management (holistic) doctor two months ago, and I think that's helped a lot to turn things around. It requires following strict dietary/supplement/exercise protocols. It's not easy or inexpensive, but worth it if it works.
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Shirah:

 

What supplements  are you taking that work? I can't afford seeing one.

 

LIC: 15 minutes is terrible news. At least I get a couple of hours. Last night my body crashed and I got 8 hours straight. Only to rinse and repeat tonight. Sorry you are having a very bad go of it. :'(

Bets

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HI insomniacs, I'm sorry to hear about the ongoing sleep issues you're having LIC and benzogirl. I have to admit I believe insomnia is about the worst symptom--it makes every other symptom worse and creates a bunch more. At this point it seems to me that a lot of my cognitive impairment is from lack of sleep. The exhaustion is so difficult. I'm visiting a friend right now and being out of my comfort zone makes managing the insomnia and fatigue all more complicated. I'll be happy when all of us are on the other side of this. Shirah, I'm glad you're still mostly getting 5 hours a night. You give me hope!
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I caved in and took an extra 1 mg of Klonopin thinking it would total my original 3 mg dosing and it has done nothing to make me sleep.  I'm scheduled to see my pdoc on Monday night but I don't think I can make it until then.  I'm extremely irritable now.  I'm probably headed towards another inpatient stay although no medications will work on me now.  Klonopin was the final benzo that put me to sleep.  No anti-psychotics even put me to sleep last time they tried.  Unless a miracle happens, my life is over.  This may be one of my last posts for a while or even forever.  Good luck to everyone here in getting off the meds.
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Life, please don't give up. You're in a very difficult time but you CAN get through it. Maybe going in the hospital will be helpful. It could be they can come up with a combination of meds that will help. Last night I mixed seroquel and trazodone to sleep and I slept fairly well, even if I'm feeling pretty tired today. Taking something else is worth it to get down the road to recovery. Keep us posted.
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@[be...]

 

@MTfan - I did have a talk with my pdoc and it was recommended that I go to the hospital.  The police were almost called to my home which would have been embarrassing.  The problem is that since it is the weekend intake will be slow.  Also, even if I got into a facility, I was declared "untreatable" last time because of my medication history.  It took 4 months in inpatient to get me on the med combo I'm on now.

 

The only thing I can see them doing that would help is moving me from Depakote ER to regular Depakote or lithium.  They'll probably want to put me on an antipsychotic too and I refuse to try any more of those because of horrible side effects like getting diabetes, growing female breasts as a man etc.  Seroquel is an antipsychotic and I see so many people have success with it for sleep.  However, for me, I just get dangerously low blood pressure and dizziness.  Trazodone helps me sleep for about a week and then I grow tolerant to it.  I'll try and stick it out until I see my pdoc on Monday but I wouldn't be surprised if my pdoc sends me to inpatient if I don't sleep and I'm having SI.

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Insomnia is probably my worst sxs. I only sleep 3-4 nights a week for maybe 3-6 hours of broken sleep. I can not sleep because of burning sensations, heart palps, and night sweats. the night sweats are brutal, I take nothing for sleep, no supplements, no pills. Since, a sleeping pill is what got me into this mess in the first place, I refuse to take anything. I do try epson salts lavender baths a few times a week, helps a little.

 

But what helps me the most is just acceptance, I don't stress out anymore if I can't sleep. I just will read, or watch TV.

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Benzogirl - I'll send you a PM with the vitamin/supplement recommendations from my IFM doctor. (If anyone else is interested in this, let me know.)

 

LIC - So sorry for what you're going through. I hope you start to stabilize soon without having to be hospitalized.

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Benzogirl - I'll send you a PM with the vitamin/supplement recommendations from my IFM doctor. (If anyone else is interested in this, let me know.)

 

LIC - So sorry for what you're going through. I hope you start to stabilize soon without having to be hospitalized.

 

I'm definitely interested in learning about the vitamin/supplement recommendations.  I was able to get 3 hours of sleep last night after 4 days of zero sleep but I had to go up to 3 mg of Klonopin from 2 mg of Klonopin sadly.

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Here's a list of vitamins/supplements I'm taken, as recommended by my IFM doctor, for anyone interested:

- Integrative Therapeutics Active B-Complex (1x/day with food)

- Perque Mg Plus Guard Magnesium (2 to 4/day, not all at once)

- CalApatite Bone Builder (2x/day)

- OmegaGenics EPA-DHA 720 (2 2x/day with food)

- Klaire Labs Ther-Biotic Complete (1x/day with food)

- Vitamin D3, 3,000 IU/day (any brand OK)

 

Those are the things she recommended for overall health purposes.

 

For sleep, she also recommended:

- Integrative Therapeutics Sleep Reset (1x/night)

- Integrative Therapeutics GABA (1x/night)

 

And because my adrenal test results came back abnormal, she also recommended Gaia Adrenal Support (2x/day).

 

Other general IFM recommendations were to detox with a gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free diet for 3 mos., and exercise to the point of sweating several times/week.

 

Hope this helps someone else -- I think it's helped me a lot.

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Here's a list of vitamins/supplements I'm taken, as recommended by my IFM doctor, for anyone interested:

- Integrative Therapeutics Active B-Complex (1x/day with food)

- Perque Mg Plus Guard Magnesium (2 to 4/day, not all at once)

- CalApatite Bone Builder (2x/day)

- OmegaGenics EPA-DHA 720 (2 2x/day with food)

- Klaire Labs Ther-Biotic Complete (1x/day with food)

- Vitamin D3, 3,000 IU/day (any brand OK)

 

Those are the things she recommended for overall health purposes.

 

For sleep, she also recommended:

- Integrative Therapeutics Sleep Reset (1x/night)

- Integrative Therapeutics GABA (1x/night)

 

And because my adrenal test results came back abnormal, she also recommended Gaia Adrenal Support (2x/day).

 

Other general IFM recommendations were to detox with a gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free diet for 3 mos., and exercise to the point of sweating several times/week.

 

Hope this helps someone else -- I think it's helped me a lot.

 

Thank you for this Shirah.  This may sound silly but now I see that is a fairly big list of supplements.  Is it possible to stop all of those supplements without any issues?  Or by using supplements are we really just trading a psych med addiction for a supplement addiction?

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I'm feeling stuck between side effect crud and insomnia. I don't sleep at all on nonmed nights but on the days after I take amitriptyline and gabapentin I'm getting headaches and on the days after I take seroquel and trazodone I feel weak and tired. I've tried adjusting doses and anything less and I don't sleep. All of the options feel like bad choices: sleeplessness, headaches, or extreme fatigue :(
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I don't believe vitamins/supplements are comparable to psych meds. To be on the safe side, I didn't start taking all at once, but phased them in one at a time, every few days, to make sure none were giving me unwanted reactions. I'd also recommend handling it similarly with discontinuing one at a time (if or when you opt to discontinue).
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I'm feeling stuck between side effect crud and insomnia. I don't sleep at all on nonmed nights but on the days after I take amitriptyline and gabapentin I'm getting headaches and on the days after I take seroquel and trazodone I feel weak and tired. I've tried adjusting doses and anything less and I don't sleep. All of the options feel like bad choices: sleeplessness, headaches, or extreme fatigue :(

 

Hi: Those are the three I have every morning. The fatigue is extra troublesome. :'( I can't manage to do even minor things. :tickedoff:

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Benzogirl, I'm sorry you're having all of those miserable symptoms too. How much sleep are you getting?

 

Last night I didn't sleep despite taking 400 mg of Seroquel and 200 of Trazodone. I think my brain won't let me sleep more than 2 nights in a row no matter what I take :(

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Benzogirl, I'm sorry you're having all of those miserable symptoms too. How much sleep are you getting?

 

Last night I didn't sleep despite taking 400 mg of Seroquel and 200 of Trazodone. I think my brain won't let me sleep more than 2 nights in a row no matter what I take :(

 

MTfan,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your lack of sleep again even though you took that med combo.  You and I might be the most similar cases on this site.  18 years of polydrugging, we want to come off the meds but insomnia is the roadblock and we're grasping for an answer.  The only difference is that I'm male.  I wish I knew of more similar cases to ours who succeeded so we can create a better plan.  The only person I can think of is Mindseeker who is a little over a week off meds according to the progress log.

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Lifeinchaos, I've felt the same way you do--like I'd love to read success stories of more people with the long time history of polydrugging and extreme insomnia. Sometimes I feel super alone about it all and fearful of how I'm going to manage life with this going on for another year or two. Doesn't morreg (not sure her exact name) have a similar history too? I find mindseeker really helpful for that reason. I'm sorry you're in this but thankful I'm not completely alone. Insomnia can be so isolating. I'm visiting a friend right now and trying to function and communicate all day every day is rough. She's a great friend and understands but I'm not myself right now and not sure when that will happen.
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Lifeinchaos, I've felt the same way you do--like I'd love to read success stories of more people with the long time history of polydrugging and extreme insomnia. Sometimes I feel super alone about it all and fearful of how I'm going to manage life with this going on for another year or two. Doesn't morreg (not sure her exact name) have a similar history too? I find mindseeker really helpful for that reason. I'm sorry you're in this but thankful I'm not completely alone. Insomnia can be so isolating. I'm visiting a friend right now and trying to function and communicate all day every day is rough. She's a great friend and understands but I'm not myself right now and not sure when that will happen.

 

I too feel very alone with this.  I'm avoiding my friends right now.  I think the feeling of loneliness also has a lot to do with the people who are polydrugged and want to come off meds are in the minority and they often leave after a while to live as normal of a life as they can.  The online communities that had more polydrugged people who successfully got off all meds like PaxilProgress and Yahoo Withdrawal and Recovery are now gone.  The person you mentioned morreg I think has a similar situation to us too but has strength like I've never seen.  I don't understand how people don't sleep for weeks or months in order to recover.

 

This time around it took about 4 days of no sleep for me to completely cave in and updose.  Back in 2009 just before my last inpatient hospitalization, I stayed awake for maybe 2 weeks but I was told I had a complete psychotic breakdown in the process.  I did crazy stuff like call and e-mail random people I hadn't spoken to years and sent them weird messages.  I even forgot who my own family was towards the very end.  Anyhow, sorry if I scared you with that.  That was my bizarre scenario and won't happen to you.

 

I just hope that we can find something that will actually get us to sleep in a non-addictive way so we can detox from everything else.  Unless I get locked up in inpatient tonight after I visit my pdoc, I will be on BB pretty much every day.  So hopefully we don't have to be so alone in this battle against insomnia and detoxing.

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So Lifeinchaos, you're not alone. I'm right there with you. I'm sure there are others like us on BB that may not be posting. I think there are quite a few BB who have the polydrugging thing going on currently or in the past.

 

I get the psychosis thing. That kept happening to me last year. I saw and heard all kinds of things. Even argued with my husband about things that I saw and heard that he didn't (e.g. "why aren't you responding to the people slamming doors, blasting music, fallen on the floor, etc."). It was months of that. If you haven't been there you can't say anything critical about how we have to survive this (like judging us for taking other meds, or whatever).

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So Lifeinchaos, you're not alone. I'm right there with you. I'm sure there are others like us on BB that may not be posting. I think there are quite a few BB who have the polydrugging thing going on currently or in the past.

 

I get the psychosis thing. That kept happening to me last year. I saw and heard all kinds of things. Even argued with my husband about things that I saw and heard that he didn't (e.g. "why aren't you responding to the people slamming doors, blasting music, fallen on the floor, etc."). It was months of that. If you haven't been there you can't say anything critical about how we have to survive this (like judging us for taking other meds, or whatever).

 

Sorry MTfan, I got locked up in an inpatient psych ward.  Now I'm out but I'm not sure for how long.

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Life, it sounds terribly miserable. I'm sorry that happened to you. Have you looked at other medications that might help you get some sleep so you can come off the klonopin? Even if it involves a taper down the road, I think it's worth it for those of us with extreme insomnia.
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Life, it sounds terribly miserable. I'm sorry that happened to you. Have you looked at other medications that might help you get some sleep so you can come off the klonopin? Even if it involves a taper down the road, I think it's worth it for those of us with extreme insomnia.

 

MTfan,

 

I have tried Doxepin but it just made things worse.  I had to discontinue use of it because of severe side effects.  I'm feeling some withdrawal from the Doxepin even.  I have no idea how I'll be able to come off psychiatric medications at this point.  My family keeps sending me articles about accepting mental illness anytime I show them something about coming off medications.  They still don't understand that when I started the medications it ruined my life.  I don't understand what their reasoning is.  It's like they are blind or something.

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