Please help. Going crazy...need a tapering expert PLEASE

Please tell me how to dry/micro cut. I was in w/d and sx with liquid. I have been in sx in general anyway and have tried everything including Ashton to try to get off the benzos. I already c/t Xanax in January as per pdoc. I would use liquid (it has to be water for me) or dry-cutting but apparently I don't know what I am doing. I thought I was doing it well. I took all 3 doses of my .5 klonopin and made my drug water made with 250 ml of water. I have to use only water. I have a mortar and pestle and shook vigorously. Then i was pulling 1 ml per day from it before dividing it into three small jars for drinking every 8 hours...3 daily doses. This would be an 8 month detox. Long enough. Been on benzos 39 years. Want off. Yes in w/d and sx but was in sx before taper anyway. I wanted to power through. Went back to dry pills last night and this morning. Don't know what to do.Went back from liquid to pills last night. Feel like shit now but was in w/d with liquid. I don't care. W/D no matter what I do. I honestly would rather dry cut. But I think I DO know how to do liquid. It is a pain. Went to ALL liquid because I don't know what to do. I take 1.5 klonopin daily in 3 divided doses 8 hours apart. Was dissolving it all then pulling 1 ml daily from drug water then dividing. Made it to day 3 but someone on here told me I was pulling too much! Ugh. It would have been an 8 month taper from 250 ml of water. Why was that too much? Now I am back on dry pills since last night just breaking them...very inaccurate. I don't want percentages or math. I don't understand it. It has to be simple and sane. Please help. Thanks.

Marian

 

Do you have a scale?

Please tell me how to dry/micro cut. I was in w/d and sx with liquid. I have been in sx in general anyway and have tried everything including Ashton to try to get off the benzos. I already c/t Xanax in January as per pdoc. I would use liquid (it has to be water for me) or dry-cutting but apparently I don't know what I am doing. I thought I was doing it well. I took all 3 doses of my .5 klonopin and made my drug water made with 250 ml of water. I have to use only water. I have a mortar and pestle and shook vigorously. Then i was pulling 1 ml per day from it before dividing it into three small jars for drinking every 8 hours...3 daily doses. This would be an 8 month detox. Long enough. Been on benzos 39 years. Want off. Yes in w/d and sx but was in sx before taper anyway. I wanted to power through. Went back to dry pills last night and this morning. Don't know what to do.Went back from liquid to pills last night. Feel like shit now but was in w/d with liquid. I don't care. W/D no matter what I do. I honestly would rather dry cut. But I think I DO know how to do liquid. It is a pain. Went to ALL liquid because I don't know what to do. I take 1.5 klonopin daily in 3 divided doses 8 hours apart. Was dissolving it all then pulling 1 ml daily from drug water then dividing. Made it to day 3 but someone on here told me I was pulling too much! Ugh. It would have been an 8 month taper from 250 ml of water. Why was that too much? Now I am back on dry pills since last night just breaking them...very inaccurate. I don't want percentages or math. I don't understand it. It has to be simple and sane. Please help. Thanks.

Marian

 

Marian,

 

You and I are close regarding the doses we are taking.  I haven't used as long as you but there are times I feel alone here when I say I used as much as 30 mg. of Xanax a day.  I truly believe that I get where you are coming from.  I'm just not ready to use liquid and I hope I can help.  A month ago I was taking .5 mg. K 3X daily just like you.  I don't know if you need liquid yet.  Maybe my idea will help.

 

Klonopin comes in wafers in 0.125 mg., and 0.25 mg.  The pills are hard to cut and using liquid is a chore if you don't have to do it yet.  If your doc will prescribe, you can cut by as little as 0.125 per cut using wafers before you have to use liquid.  If you do this and can get by on making your smallest cuts 0.125.  Right now you are taking the equivalent of 12 wafers (0.125 mg.) every day.  The wafers are water-soluble and although my pharmacy had to order them, they saved my life.  I would have panic attacks when I had to cut my pills.  It's traumatic for me.  The wafers are soooo easy.

 

I may turn to liquid, but right now I'm trying to use the wafers and just cut 0.125 at a time.  These cuts are larger than many advocate with micro-tapers, but many in this group have also made it well with cuts like this.  IF this could work for you, you could cut as follows:

 

1.5 (however long you need)

1.375 (however long you need)(2 X 0.5 pills + 3 X 0.125 wafers)

1.25 (however long you need)(2 X 0.5 pills + 2 X 0.125 wafers)

1.125 (1 X 0.5 pill + 1 X 0.125 wafer)

1.0

0.875

0.75

0.625

0.5

0.365 (I expect these tapers to be rough on me but I'm going to try to jump at 0.125 if I'm okay)

0.25

0.125

 

You could start using liquid if you want to make smaller cuts in the end.  I may need liquid eventually but until I have to I can cut pretty well with the wafers.  No cutting those pills.  Also, you could cut the wafers in half (they are delicate) and cut by as little as .0625 per cut.

 

Lots of us have seen your posts and we're all behind you.  I don't see the need for you to be confused by liquid if you can possibly get wafers and cut by pretty small amounts.  Hang in there.  We're rooting for you.  Try to get stable with all of us and then decide what's best for you.  Stay calm.  We're behind you.  Hope this helps. 

 

PJ

 

 

 

Thank you one year. Especially for the words of support. So if I am correct I would cut an eighth of a pill every week ortwo. That Iis what I wanted to do. If I can't get wafers I will have to cut pills.  I don't mind that if it works.  Somewhere on here I read that putting the pills in the freezer makes them cut well. Woukd that effect their potency do you think? Yes the liquid became too arduous so I stopped.  I am in tolerance Hell so instead of trying to get stable,  because I can't unless I add lots back including adding xanax back, I will taper from this hell place and hope it will help. I think of taking my life daily but I can't. Thank you for being there. I hope you are ok. Tell me how you are doing.

Marian

 

Badsocref...the .001 gram scale will arrive Tuesday.

Thank you one year. Especially for the words of support. So if I am correct I would cut an eighth of a pill every week ortwo. That Iis what I wanted to do. If I can't get wafers I will have to cut pills.  I don't mind that if it works.  Somewhere on here I read that putting the pills in the freezer makes them cut well. Woukd that effect their potency do you think? Yes the liquid became too arduous so I stopped.  I am in tolerance Hell so instead of trying to get stable,  because I can't unless I add lots back including adding xanax back, I will taper from this hell place and hope it will help. I think of taking my life daily but I can't. Thank you for being there. I hope you are ok. Tell me how you are doing.

Marian

 

Hard day for me but I'll make it.  I really, really like the wafers.  I don't know if I'll be able to make it at the end without using liquids, but I'm safe and some time away from making that decision.  I'm late to visit family today which terrifies me (don't want to leave the house) but I wanted to reply to you.

 

I know you've had many hard days.  I also know that you've talked about taking your life, and I think that's something many people think about.  I guess I'll repeat the "call 911 if you are in trouble" that everyone who cares about you feels they have to add.  But, reading you post today I sense you are doing a little bit better.  It seems you have a plan which is great.  You are talking about making your way out of this which is also great.

 

I'm proud of you for getting through every hard day and looking toward the future with all of us.  Let me know how you are.

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately it's not true. I am having the worst day and don't have a plan yet. I was doing liquid (water) fine and pulling 1ml per day from my entire day's doses from 250 ml water making it about an eight month taper. But someone told me I was pulling too much too fast and I panicked. Got back on my 1.5 K a day in hell....dry pills. Ordered gram scale. But I was doing liquid fine. Feeling Hell either way so I should have kept going. I cannot call 911. I went to the psych ward in December and when I left I fully "snapped". Got worse. I would rather die than call 911. I know many people take their lives due to this suffering. I may be next. Don't know.

The pills will not lose potency if you cool them to cut them (they warm up quickly as soon as you put them into your body anyway).