Author Topic: Chronic, paranoid fear?  (Read 1364 times)

[Buddie]

Chronic, paranoid fear?
« on: May 07, 2009, 09:31:55 am »
Hello all,
I haven't been coming to this forum nearly as much as I should, I really need the support but lately I have been just trying to suppress all my negative feelings about all this and move on with my life. Needless to say, it isn't working.
Anyway, I am ten months and a few days off of temazepam (after c/ting), and I am definitely doing better than I was a few months ago. But for this whole time I have been experiencing something that I just realized tonight is probably benzo related.
Basically, I am terrified of things all the time. I was always a bit of a nervous type, would get uncomfortable when in the house alone at night, etc., but it never really affected my life much. But since the benzos, things have been a lot worse. When I first came off I noticed that I could not even ride a bike because I was too afraid of falling (I rode bikes no problem my whole life before that), and the social anxiety was debilitating. But within the past couple of months these fears have gone away and been replaced by the sometimes subtle but always present feeling that my life is in danger. I never worried much about crime, but now I am always literally convinced that someone is out there nearby coming to kill me. I am afraid to leave the house unlocked even in the daylight (I live in a fairly safe neighborhood on a busy street). Every time I hear the door open or hear any unexpected sound I am sure it is either a burglar or a murderer. Sometimes I am too afraid to go to the bathroom at night, and I often find myself checking closets, bathrooms, and other rooms I haven't been in for a while to make sure no one is hiding in there. I used to enjoy camping, but I went with my boyfriend last month and spent two nights lying awake in sheer terror, painfully aware of how exposed i was and absolutely positive that every little sound was a serial killer coming to claim my life. I had to go home early because I could not handle the fear. I really hope this all is withdrawal related, and i think it must be because I was never like this before at all, certainly never so paranoid. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and did it go away? Does anyone have any advice? Should I seek therapy? Should I just trust that it will go away eventually?
Thanks for listening, and any responses would be much appreciated.
Sarah
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2009, 10:37:51 am »
Sounds really scary to be worried for your life all the time.  Is there anything you can do to make yourself feel better?  Like add locks, install an alarm system, etc.  It sounds like it could definitely be benzo-related.  Not a professional but I see a therapist and sometimes addressing practical matters related to the fear helps me. 

I have a lot of anxiety too, but mine is related more to my work and providing for my family.  In this economic climate, it's hard to say how much of my anxiety is reality-based.  :)  or maybe   :(

Jane
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2009, 01:13:54 pm »
Paranoia can be a wd symptom, though on the least common list. Maybe it would be beneficial to see a therapist. It can be very helpful and they will give you some tips to deal with this.

Sorry I cant be more helpful. I hope you get some answers for this and can move on!

Have a good day

Amanda  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2009, 05:56:59 pm »
Hello all,
I haven't been coming to this forum nearly as much as I should, I really need the support but lately I have been just trying to suppress all my negative feelings about all this and move on with my life. Needless to say, it isn't working.
Anyway, I am ten months and a few days off of temazepam (after c/ting), and I am definitely doing better than I was a few months ago. But for this whole time I have been experiencing something that I just realized tonight is probably benzo related.
Basically, I am terrified of things all the time. I was always a bit of a nervous type, would get uncomfortable when in the house alone at night, etc., but it never really affected my life much. But since the benzos, things have been a lot worse. When I first came off I noticed that I could not even ride a bike because I was too afraid of falling (I rode bikes no problem my whole life before that), and the social anxiety was debilitating. But within the past couple of months these fears have gone away and been replaced by the sometimes subtle but always present feeling that my life is in danger. I never worried much about crime, but now I am always literally convinced that someone is out there nearby coming to kill me. I am afraid to leave the house unlocked even in the daylight (I live in a fairly safe neighborhood on a busy street). Every time I hear the door open or hear any unexpected sound I am sure it is either a burglar or a murderer. Sometimes I am too afraid to go to the bathroom at night, and I often find myself checking closets, bathrooms, and other rooms I haven't been in for a while to make sure no one is hiding in there. I used to enjoy camping, but I went with my boyfriend last month and spent two nights lying awake in sheer terror, painfully aware of how exposed i was and absolutely positive that every little sound was a serial killer coming to claim my life. I had to go home early because I could not handle the fear. I really hope this all is withdrawal related, and i think it must be because I was never like this before at all, certainly never so paranoid. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and did it go away? Does anyone have any advice? Should I seek therapy? Should I just trust that it will go away eventually?
Thanks for listening, and any responses would be much appreciated.
Sarah

Hi Sarah.  ;D

I'm no psychologist but it occured to me that perhaps the form your anxiety takes has changed to this fear of being killed.  I, too, think you could benefit talking to someone who's trained to help people work through their fears.  It seems to be at such a visceral level now I don't see how you can talk yourself out of it, do you?  I don't think it will go away on it's own but that thought is just a gut impression; not based on any particular knowledge or experience.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2009, 08:51:01 am »
Hey there... I am sorry to hear your going through such a debilatating thing... I am kind of going through that myself as a matter of fact.. I have been benzo free for 4.5 months... I went to detox where they gave me phenobarbital for a week and I continued that on and off for about 5 more weeks... I've been doign very good... In the beginning I had sleep issues and felt like I could never feel 'sleepy' like normal people. I could goto sleep once I layed down but nevery actually 'feel sleepy' if that makes any sense.... But I am starting to now.. allthough I started drinking a month ago and that set me back a bit because it triggerred anxiety attacks after a few times of doing soo... so yes I agree with people that alcohol is not the answer to our anxiety...

By the way I have been the type of person that has been soooo strong all my life and nevery once had an anxiety episode. So i feel like crying right now just because of what I've become... I am afraid that I will NEVER be the same young innocent happy kid that I was... I feel like my soul has been torn apart by Xanax and Klonopin.. allthough I had never imagined a pill that was legal could do such a horrible thing to someone's body...

But oh well our lives have to end one day so Its not gonna last forever... I know I sound very depressed but all of a sudden just thinking about all this is like making me cry... but hey like I was saying I get these feelings of something bads gonna happen all the time.... It has gotten much better than in the beginnign but It still lingers..

Its as if my anxiety takes different forms now or manisfestations...I would try talking to friends or doctors... or try neurontin (gabapentin) which is a non addictive anti anxiety/neuro pain med.. or take benadryl or something.. not sure if you are takign nething... but sumtimes these secondary medications can have a good actualy or placebo affect.

Whatever you do dont drink or do any drugs EVER. Shame on any of us who do that again after going through hell.
These pharmaceutical companies make most of these drugs especially the benzo class to rob us of our souls... I wish
they go to hell for that.... they just want to make money and we all know that... we have to fight this together
and realize that neurons and brain cells do heal themselves or regenerate.. that is proven... it will just take time but
I think the reason some people end up with long-term issues like paranoia is cause they let it happen ... it is VERY
important to think positive and direct your recovery in a certain way especially in the first few months... I think its about molding
our new nueral pathways... I'm not a doctor but that is just my take... and when it comes to benzos most of them suck anyways.

Try phenobarbital which is a cross tolerant drug for a few days and see if that helps you while doing talk therapy.. its not even close to being addictive as benzos... well hope my posts helps you and others..

Good Luck everyone!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2009, 04:46:43 pm »
 :sick:Hi,i have been off benzo's since sept of last year,i came off in march 08,but i relapsed 11 times last summer and fall,now :sick: :sick: :sick: i set my recovery back and i was on klonopin for 16 years,now i am having these fearful withdrawl symtoms to the point where i can't even walk to the store!  I am scared that they may last forever,i have this sensation of falling all the time,even when i am not walking,sometimes this eases up on me but hardly!  Can someone please help me and reasure me?Has anyone had anthing like this being off of benzo's?       
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Chronic, paranoid fear?
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2009, 04:49:43 pm »
:sick:Hi,i have been off benzo's since sept of last year,i came off in march 08,but i relapsed 11 times last summer and fall,now :sick: :sick: :sick: i set my recovery back and i was on klonopin for 16 years,now i am having these fearful withdrawl symtoms to the point where i can't even walk to the store!  I am scared that they may last forever,i have this sensation of falling all the time,even when i am not walking,sometimes this eases up on me but hardly!  Can someone please help me and reasure me?Has anyone had anthing like this being off of benzo's?       

There are quite a few here that have the "boaty" feelings. Lynnie and spring come to mind. Hopefully some will stop by and offer their experiences. I'm sure this has been discussed on other threads, you may want to do a forum search for boaty, balance issues, etc. to see what comes up.  :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.