Goodbye Mr Valium

Hi BB's

I haven't posted here for a while, even though I have been checking in every so often to see how you all are. For those of you that don't know me, I'm J's husband and I have been helping J, with the biggest challenge she has ever faced. Withdrawing from Benzos.

This post is simply to announce that as of yesterday, the 10th April 2015, J is finally off Valium. She has finally bid him goodbye. J's taper started in July 2013 and has taken some 22 months. This was on the back of 2 years of being poly drugged, misdiagnosed, mistreated & humiliated by the very people we put our very lives in their trust. Doctors & Healthcare professionals.! It hasn't been easy and as some of you know, J has probably had one of those withdraws that boarder on the worst side. The positive news is that even though its been so difficult, she is still here, and now, after so long, on the road to full recovery.

Now that J is finally free of Benzos, I plan to post periodic updates as to her progress. It will be interesting to witness the transformation from where she is now to the eventual return to full health. I have spent the last 3 1/2 years reading, researching and talking to people with the one single goal to help J beat this problem. I hope that from her experience and from what I can contribute, others will benefit as well.

The Rock.

Your wife is one lucky woman to have such a supportive husband!

Hi Shirah

I basically follow the Golden Rule or Ethic of reciprocity. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

If I was in my wife's shoes I would want her to fight tooth & nail to drag me by the hair out of this tormenting state I would find myself in. I guess my passion for life, my desire for happiness is to her advantage.

Hope you keep getting better & better each day you walk this path.

The Rock.

This is a wonderful but also lovely post! Thank you for sharing it Rock, I wish the best for you and J!!!

Clona

Yippie! That is reason to celebrate!!!!!

Hi benzo-R-cruel,

Thanks for your great message. I have looked forward for so many weeks & months & years for such a message to be directed to J & myself. I would often see such messages and wonder when we would be the recipient. That day finally arrived. Now, I look forward to the day that I or J, can announce that she has fully recovered and back to living her life to the fullest.

The Rock.

This is a wonderful but also lovely post! Thank you for sharing it Rock, I wish the best for you and J!!!

Clona

Hi Clona,

Thank you for your wonderful message. It has been a long road, and many times I really wondered if J or I had the strength to see this taper through. I can tell you that not only did we find the strength, but the courage ,determination & patience that so many of us fear that they lack, but have it inside, tucked away for such special occasions. J still has a considerable way to go in this journey, but I know, that it will all be ok.

The Rock.

Hi BB's

 

I haven't posted here for a while, even though I have been checking in every so often to see how you all are. For those of you that don't know me, I'm J's husband and I have been helping J, with the biggest challenge she has ever faced. Withdrawing from Benzos.

 

This post is simply to announce that as of yesterday, the 10th April 2015, J is finally off Valium. She has finally bid him goodbye. J's taper started in July 2013 and has taken some 22 months. This was on the back of 2 years of being poly drugged, misdiagnosed, mistreated & humiliated by the very people we put our very lives in their trust. Doctors & Healthcare professionals.! It hasn't been easy and as some of you know, J has probably had one of those withdraws that boarder on the worst side. The positive news is that even though its been so difficult, she is still here, and now, after so long, on the road to full recovery.

 

Now that J is finally free of Benzos, I plan to post periodic updates as to her progress. It will be interesting to witness the transformation from where she is now to the eventual return to full health. I have spent the last 3 1/2 years reading, researching and talking to people with the one single goal to help J beat this problem. I hope that from her experience and from what I can contribute, others will benefit as well.

 

The Rock.

Hi, this is one of those posts which give me a lump in my throat,

no human being should have to experience such a nightmare.

Congratulation to both of you, stay strong and I wish your wife

has a speedy recovery from this crap, take care.

Dear Rock, thank you for being there every step of the way to help your wife.  Not every spouse does this,  many get irritated and some even leave the benzo-dependent one.  So sad.  You are the very essence of what it means to care for your spouse 'in sickness and health'.  May God bless you and of course your sweet wife J who had to endure the taper and now recovery.  I will check back often to see how she is doing. 

Thank you for posting on her behalf.  I don't know 'J', but please give her my best.

Hugs to you both,

Bunny

Hi Morreweg,

Thanks so much for all the well wishes. Yes, you are very right. No human being should be subjected to this nightmare. I know that not everyone withdrawing from psychotropic medication has the reaction that J has had, but over the years, I can tell you that I have come across quite a few that have endured what no person should.

I agree with your terminology when refering to the drugs, "crap". I often refer to it as "poison". Any name that highlights the serious side effects and symptoms that these medications cause, directly or indirectly, is appropriate.

The Rock.

Hi Rabbit11 (Bunny),

Thanks for your support. Let me tell you that in these last, nearly 4 years, I thought every thought imaginable & felt every emotion as well. There is no easy way out of this mess for either the sufferer or the carer. I guess the reason that I'm still here doing what I'm doing is that I would have wanted J to do the same for me. I wanted to scream and simply just run away many times, I'm no saint, but I became really good at making excuses that I needed to use the little boy's room. A few minutes alone screaming in silence into a towels is extremely therapeutic. I will certainly be updating how J progresses. It will be interesting to see how the whole process develops from this point.

The Rock.

Week 1

Hard to believe, but one week has already past since J took her last dose of Valium. The final horaah, came and went virtually without a whimper. The devilish drug too weak to even muster a groal. At the worst of it, each time we would reduce even the slightest amount, it would cause such a scene, basically stomping its feet, gnarling and making a real nuisance of itself. Now, without any grip, it has finally relinquished its dominance.

J's symptoms are pretty much the same, but we both are relieved that the tapering process is complete. J, for no longer having to ingest the drug that has caused her so much pain & now being on the recovery road. For me, to no longer have to feel the weight & burden of this responsibility of managing the taper, as J has been in a state of mind that is not conducive to calculations & measurements.

As each day passes, I know that J is slowly healing. Even though the healing is not visable or cannot be mesured, I truly believe that it will happen. I only hope that she is one of those that heals quicker rather than slower. 6-12 months sounds a whole lot better than 18 months or more. So much time has been lost. For both of us.! But, once J is better, I'm sure that it will all seem like a bad dream, and we will be living our lives just like we were, before this trajedy.

Finally, to those starting a taper or still tapering. Patience, courage & determination is what you need. You will get to that day that you too will bid farewell to these pills. For anyone caring for or helping someone withdraw from benzos, you too must have these exact same qualities, as the weight of withdrawal is not only carried by the sufferer, but by you too. The wonderful thing about sharing the burden is that once withdrawal is over the victory can be shared, and boy, have I got a party planned for J & I.

The Rock.

Love your update Rock......love your post, your positive attitude

which is priceless.

The journey to victory can be a long one, its like having to use

two Highways to your destination.

One highway is behind you now.....big achievement to be on the second one !

Sending healing wishes to J and lots of strength to both of you, take care.

Love your update Rock......love your post, your positive attitude

which is priceless.

 

The journey to victory can be a long one, its like having to use

two Highways to your destination.

One highway is behind you now.....big achievement to be on the second one !

 

Sending healing wishes to J and lots of strength to both of you, take care.

Hi Morreweg,

Thanks so much for your kind words. Every little bit of encouragement helps keep that positive attitude. You need everything at your disposal to dig down deep to keep on going, taking the next step and each time you think its got you beat, you come back again & again.

The Rock.

Yippie! That is reason to celebrate!!!!!

 

Hi benzo-R-cruel,

 

Thanks for your great message. I have looked forward for so many weeks & months & years for such a message to be directed to J & myself. I would often see such messages and wonder when we would be the recipient. That day finally arrived. Now, I look forward to the day that I or J, can announce that she has fully recovered and back to living her life to the fullest.

 

The Rock.

And someday you will make that post!  :)

Motivation to do what is neeeded comes from many places.

This is one of them.

Motivation to do what is neeeded comes from many places.

 

This is one of them.

 

Very true Rock......wonderful lyrics.

This one is different, but it shows the amazing power of love....

power of nature....which is so important in order to survive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnpSaFtBaA

Hi Morreweg,

Really enjoyed the video.!

Thanks.

Week 2

Another week passes. What seemed like an impossibility, for J to get off Valium has now become the norm. No more clocks set at 12 hour intervals to give J her doses. No more digital scales weighing small crumbs of Valium. No more nail files scrapping away minut amounts of the pill to get the correct dose. And most importantly, no more ingesting a drug that was the cause of J's world going from normal & happy to completely dysfunctional and accompanied with constant anxiety, fear and numerous other psychological & pyshicological symptoms.

Just after my "Week 1" post, I collected all the remaining Valium that was in the house, pills & liquid, and with great fanfare escorted them out of our house and gave them to our wonderfful Pharmacist, who was probably a bigger help through this ordeal than all the numerous doctors involved put together. When he saw what I had brought him, he had a smile from ear to ear. He told me that what J & I had accomplished was massive, and that he was so happy that all the problems caused by these pills one day soon would all fade away. It was such a great satisfaction for me, to finally be taking the remaining Valium, back to where it came from.

Nothing much has changed on the symptoms front. J has been one of those people that once starting her Valium taper has been in a never ending cycle of waves. The intesity may have changed from one day to the next, but she never experience any windows throughout all this time. Many times during her taper, J would say to me, "what I would give for a window, just 5 minutes of feeling normal". Now, 2 weeks after ending her taper, she still waits for one of those so called windows.

I certainly never stop encouraging J. I tell her to keep going. That she has done so well to have come this far. I read somewhere, that this process needs a herculean effort from the sufferer & also from the carers to make it to the finish line. I can tell you that I think they aren't too far off the mark.

Hi Rock,

Benzo wd can be ever so bizarre, for some reason there are people

who experience windows, others who don't. However healing does take place

all the time.

I'm so excited being able to watch J's progress because I know

sometime in the future I will come here, J will have reached a

turning point and you will share with us the little smile you saw

on her face.

got a new video in today, shes got some good points thats

why I wanted to share it with you.

Way to go Rock....best wishes to both of you.

Hi Rock,

Benzo wd can be ever so bizarre, for some reason there are people

who experience windows, others who don't. However healing does take place

all the time.

 

I'm so excited being able to watch J's progress because I know

sometime in the future I will come here, J will have reached a

turning point and you will share with us the little smile you saw

on her face.

 

got a new video in today, shes got some good points thats

why I wanted to share it with you.

 

Way to go Rock....best wishes to both of you.

Hi Morreweg,

Thanks so much for the wonderful support, your very kind thoughts, your interest in J's progress and lastly, for this video. It is staggering how many people have suffered at the hand of these medications and then made feel like that there is something wrong with them when they start feeling the effects of tolerance or withdrawal.

I mentioned in my last post that our Pharmacist was a great help during J's taper. Incredibly, he was the only one to validate, what J was suffering was due to the pills. Every other Nurse, Doctor or Psychiatrist had their own spin on what was going on. What really angered me was the lack of compassion shown to J. She was humiliated and made to feel like a crazy woman or a drug addict. I remember the occasion when J was recovering in hospital from her cold turkey which they ordered. 10mgs of Valium stopped literally over night by the Professor of the Psychiatric unit at one of the largest Hospitals in Sydney. After reinstating the drug, he told me that he thought J was being a little over dramatic.! Imagine...J was in convulsions and had developed dystonia and a whole cluster of other physical & psychological symptoms, and this Professor, someone entrusted on the highest level with our health & to help us when we are sick, said she was being over dramatic.!

Anyway... those days are long gone. Now J is on the path to healing and even if that little smile is ever so faint or like a mirage, I can tell you that I've already seen it.....and its wonderful.!

You are welcome Rock,

There are some good Doctors out there, no doubt.....but far

too many irresponsible, big headed clowns in white. Took me a long

time to realize, always trusted and was too naive.

I think we've learned our lesson....which is a good thing after all.

Sounds like your Pharmacist was a blessing in disguise,

my one seems to have more knowledge than my new GP as well.....

something wrong in the system , I reckon.

I loved it when you said J's little smile is ever so faint but

you've seen it......gave me a big smile for today, take care.

Look Rock what happened to someone at the Royal Melbourne Hospital.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=131948.msg1770455#msg1770455

Sadly to say this happens most likely all the time....all over the world.

We are so lucky Rock and J......so lucky indeed !

Hi Morreweg

Everytime I read about another person who's life is turned on its head from these medications it bring me great sadness. Sadness at the pain & suffering of the person involved and also to the entire family. I wish I didn't speak from experience, but what I have witnessed & am still witnessing is beyond what someone should have to go through.

The response by the medical profession to this problem is scandalous. People are telling them what the problem is and they simply brush it all aside, blaming the patient for the symptoms and continuing to prescribe these dangerous drugs. I don't know if it is just negligence on their part or an agenda to protect themselves & the pharmaceutical companies from possible litigation.

I agree that we are lucky. Lucky that somehow we have understood the problem and then acted on it, distancing the people who would have us increase medication dosage & change or add new ones. One wonderful buddy gave me some advice nearly 2 years ago when things where spiralling out off control. She said, " Stay away from hospitals, keep J safe at all times & keep tapering slowly & steadily. If you do that, J will one day get off these pills and will heal "

The Rock

Congrats Rock and all the best to J and yourself.