You will succeed too!

Lately I have spent weeks not even once thinking of benzo withdrawal or its affects it had on me. That is why I know that it is time for me  write my success story. I actually sometimes forget how difficult the benzo w/d was yet I spent 14 months from September 19,2013 to December 2014  wondering second by second, day by day, month by month if I would ever regain my mind, enthusiasm for life, clearness, sharpness and go-getter attitude. Yes, it does all come back!  I promise you! Benzo Buddy studies show that full healing within this community will occur by month 14 on average BUT you may feel better much sooner -- hence it is sometimes earlier for many. If you are reading this you are probably wondering "What have I gotten myself into? Will I ever be me again? Is all this benzos or is it that I am damaged goods? Maybe I need benzos to feel better? What if reinstating does not work? Are these waves really benzos or am I just not well ?"  Are you asking these questions? THE ANSWER WITH 100% CERTAINTY -- Yes it is all benzos!!!!! 

 

For the first 14 months post jump I thought I would never be "me" again. I write this success story not at an opportune time either. I write this at a time when there has been an extraordinary turmoil in my personal life -- but I am benzo free and basically "wave free" but not stimulus free. You see, I am going through a tough civil litigation that is quite draining and very dark and negative. But the good news is that I am handling it well -- like anyone "normal" would given the circumstances. A little or allot of stress no longer makes me go into a anxious/depressive wave. Now, before you think that I am anti meds -- I am not! Some people need meds. I am just anti benzos! But if you were an anxious or depressed person before benzos then you must use CBT, exercise, Hypnosis, yoga, emotional tapping etc to get yourself naturally to a good place again. At the same time benzos w/d will make you feel that you will never overcome and you will never be "you" again. That is a benzo lie! If I can do it you can too!

 

I have fun again; I dream again; I make plans again.  Imaging making plans again without waves making you cancel them. I can look forward to the day rather than wondering how I will get through it. I no longer spend my days "googling symptoms". Ahhhh, but you may be the anxious type - the doubting Thomas? You may be someone that says "Yeah but not me -- I  am really messed up." Yeah, sure, you are so special that you defy the odds of healing? So as the doubter you may say, "Yeah but what about all the people that are healed? Why are they not around? Do people really heal?" Yes, they do heal and believe! And when you are healed the last place you want to be around after you heal is Benzo buddies.  I hope that does not sound ungrateful! I probably owe my life to this site. I am back on this forum today and am writing this little story because people need to know that healing will come -- whether you believe it or not.  For me, when I was "almost healed" I just wanted to be away from benzo buddies because I felt so fragile still. So I started to spend more and more time away. It was hard because all my Buddies were so kind and dear to me -- they are now on the 12-18 month thread. I will not mention them all for fear that I may miss one. I truly love them

 

When you start feeling the healing process take hold in earnest, and you will know when it happens, you will start to realize that there is a whole new life out there and you will start to go for it! I will write more in the future about life after  benzo w/d but I promise you that you will heal no matter what you may think. For anxious people it will be hard to accept - but your body will heal you whether you know it or not -- i.e. time is in control NOT you. Your job is to stay away from the drug and time will heal you. I call what I went through a "Benzo reactivation syndrome" not "benzo withdrawal". Your brain is trying to start the Gaba system up again. It has been artificially seduced by a nasty drug. It needs to reactivate and work again. Please hang in there and stay with this wonderful community until you no longer need it. I say that without guilt. Then come back after your success and shine a light for those behind you. That is what I am doing.

 

Things that helped?

 

Praying

Benzo buddies

Stay away from protracted sites ( they will just confuse you)

Not everyone has the same issues

Keeping active

Distracting with anything possible ( a most)

Hypnosis -- particularly Rapid Resolution Therapy.

Daily Exercise

Emotional Healing ( tapping)

Meditation

 

Drugs used to alleviate

 

Low dose of Gabapenten ( For me very helpful) 200mg a day. ( No longer)

 

What your are going through feels like pure hell. I will not sugar coat it -- it does feel that way and it may be just that for a time. I can tell you that when you get through it one day you will wake up and not even think about benzo withdrawal. That is when you know you are way on your way to total healing. I have an opinion of how long it takes to fully heal. Studies on this very site show 14 months for the average. Before you freak - understand that there is a time that you just feel like your symptoms are tolerable and then things get better and better. I think the brain continues to repair itself for about 2 years post jump. That does not mean you will be in misery for 2 years -- not at all! You may start feeling better anywhere from 4 to 14 months ( I know big spectrum but healing is individual). Then you just get better and better untill one day you feel fully healed. For me I am 90% there -- but I am cool with that because 90% feels awesome on the way to 100%! As I write this "success story" I am thinking, " Wow, I can now remember how bad it was". I almost have forgotten as it feels like an event in my distant past. I know that you may not feel like total healing will happen to you but you too will have this healing. That I am 100% CERTAIN! One day it will be a distant memory for you. You doubt it? Just remember my words. It will be a distant memory. May God bless you all and happy and quick healing!

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:Love :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Life4me

Life-as a fellow 6-12 and now 12-18 month thread buddie I'm glad I'm the first to read your story. I needed this so right now.  I'm actually taking a break from this board except for success stories.  Trying not to be all consumed with every symptom.  Just really working on acceptance and riding it out as best as possible. 

So happy for you and you really added to my hope and faith that this will end. 

Great to read this.  Thanks for taking the time to come back and be encouraging.

Life...I wrote you a reply on the 12-18 month thread. Great success story.. I am very encouraged for my own healing by it. I am now nearly at the beginning of month 17 and still have waves, but also having some " effortless mind"  breaks. I will always remember when we banned together at 6 months. The cave days.. lol...You and all the 6-12 month buddies helped me through the crushing disappointment of not healing by 6 months ( lol).  little did I know.

  ...Life, I am wishing you huge joy and success in your renewed life..  ...coop

Life,

 

Thank you for this.  I needed this tonight.  It gives me so much hope.

Dear Life, Congratulations and thank you for sharing about your healing. Also for repeatedly saying that we will all heal. Sometimes we need to hear it over and over again, especially this far out. It is success story's like yours that keep us holding on to hope. I wish you beautiful days of joy and peace.

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

Wonderful success story…thanks so much for writing it here to give hope to those who follow in your footsteps.

Congrats and welcome to the rest of your life.

Challis 

Life- your my jump buddy and I could not be happier for you! Having you on the 6-12 month thread during all those tough months was a big pleasure-- you always encouraged us all so well. Thank you so much, jenny 

My friend ...  ...

 

It is good news to read that the dust has settled for you ... and you are moving on ... you will not be forgotten ...

 

You are a Blessing ...

 

Thank you life4me and congrats!

 

What a great success story.  Means a lot to come back and share it with us.  I do almost everything on your list of success tools except hypnosis so it gives me much hope that I am on the right track.

 

Stay strong!

sharkey

Thank you for your story. Wishing you nothing but happiness.

This is such wonderful news! Congratulations and thank you for sharing your success story with the rest of us!

 

Thank you for sharing your story. 

Best to you.

Life4me! This is great news! Your story is so heartfelt, encouraging, and I will hold it close to me.

 

I'm like Drew (my jumping buddy). I've taken a break from the board but started reading the success stories again yesterday.

 

I pray 1 day soon I can write my success story. Been in a funky wave (weak legs, poor balance), job giving me the blues...but stories like this keep me going!

 

Live life!!!!

Thank you so much for the boost..

So needed it just now..

thank you so much.

Healing to all. .

All, I thank you so much for your encouragement. You all are an awesome group to even take up the challenge of stopping benzos. It will be the hardest thing that you ever will do but ultimately the one accomplishment for which you will feel the proudest. You join the leagues of those that have made it over to the other side and succeeded. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Henry

Henry, I'm sure you understand the power of such words to lift up the rest of us. It's a gift that you've given us, and it will continue to give, as others read and re-read such positive statements about healing and life on "the other side". All the best to you!

Congratulations! and thank you!!  Your message makes me feel so confident and optimistic about healing from this weird horrible benzo coma. I will repeat to myself many of the things you have written to help me believe believe believe that I will get better!

 

Can I ask a question though? I hope it's alright to ask because I don't want to focus on the negative. You mentioned that you're 90% healed. It sounded like you don't even spend much time thinking about your benzo experience, so I was wondering what symptoms you deal with at this point? 

 

Congratulations again. You sound so happy!

Love you and so glad you're out of the 'cave'. Still guided by your light.

 

Peace2

Congratulations on your success and happiness!  You made it!

Sunny, I say that I am 90% because I can live at that level and be content. I from time to time feel a bit anxious about events that would make anyone anxious -- civil legal issues in a contentious lawsuit. That being said, if I feel anxious about that situation I wonder if its me at 90% and would I not feel bad if I were 100%. Does that make sense? It's like I do not want to believe that I am done healing -- that things will get even better. In either event anyone would feel anxious about what I am going through -- it just I wonder if I were 100% if I would feel better? Weird? Maybe.

 

Love

 

Life

coop, free,peace, nova, jenny, drew .... the light at the end of the cave is very bright... it could blind you.. After a small adjustment period life will be so awesome for you! You all are almost there!

 

love to all,

 

Life

All, I thank you so much for your encouragement. You all are an awesome group to even take up the challenge of stopping benzos. It will be the hardest thing that you ever will do but ultimately the one accomplishment for which you will feel the proudest. You join the leagues of those that have made it over to the other side and succeeded. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Henry

 

Thank you for sharing your amazing recovery with us. I am 2 months free now and still moving forward. This you say really helped me..It will be the hardest thing that you ever will do but ultimately the one accomplishment for which you will feel the proudest. You join the leagues of those that have made it over to the other side and succeeded.

 

I know I will get there and I am already very happy about the choice I have made for myself and my future. Having the courage to get off all pills and mind altering medication. No one in my family has never done it, they are all pill poppers. I am honored that I can do this and look forward to a mind that is free to work properly again and finding new ways to handle what got me on them in the first place (anxiety disorder) Thank you 

Life4me What an incredible uplifting positive story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

 

I am almost 13 weeks off a benzo and the last couple of weeks I can truly feel my body and brain healing. It's amazing how the brain heals but it does!! It's truly fascinating.

 

Thank you again for posting your story and all the best to you always.

Fran

 

 

Life,

 

I am soo happy to read your story!  You're one of my buddies, from 6-12 to 12-18.  And I have to say success couldn't happen to a nicer guy.  You reached out to help others when you were feeling your worst!  You were very, very kind to me, and it went a long way.  I especially relate to the importance of trying to engage back in life as soon as we feel well enough.  I had a particularly hard w/d, cold turkey, and I knew it was important to join the living as soon as I could, as best I could.  The very best to you!